You heard it here first! Don’t say you didn’t. You DID.
Yes! It turns out that Donkey Kong Country 4 was indeed originally planned! Or, at least, proposed! Or, at least, probably proposed! For Nintendo DS, no less! Hey, it’s better than nothing. OR IS IT?
Yes. Yes it is. This ain’t no lame-ass internet rumour that I’ve made up myself (which I’m not above doing), it is, in the greatest sense of the word, legit. According to anonymous remarks made anonymously by an anonymous man through the anonymous medium of the internet, Donkey Kong Country 4 was a genuinely credible prospect for an albeit very brief moment in the mid-2000s.
Of course, anonymity on the internet is rarely a safe bet, and sure enough the DK Vine Detective Squad has already set out on the trail of this mysterious commentator. After all, following the recent shutdown of the “I used to work at Rare, Ltd.” Facebook group, we’re bored. Where did he come from? Who is he? What is he?
Regular readers will recognise TransparentJinjo’s YouTube channel–your number one source for behind-the-scenes footage of questionable legality–from previous updates (such as, say, the one immediately preceding this one) and that’s where we begin! The alleged video (containing some curious-in-its-own-right Banjo-Kazooie: Grunty’s Revenge deleted scenes) was commented upon by a user by the name of “StAmP0Rz”. Here’s what Senor StAmP0Rz had to say:
Holy ass-lickin’ Christ! Banjo-Kazooie: Grunty’s Other Revenge DS! Holy semen-stained Jehovah! Donkey Kong Country 4! Hey, who cares if it’s an anonymous comment by an anonymous man made anonymously via the anonymous medium of the internet!! StAmP0Rz, I want you.
We at the DK Vine Detective Squad did what anyone would do. We used INCREDIBLY OBSCURE Internet tools and confirmed that this guy is, indeed, the Real Deal. Hello, StAmP0Rz-based-in-the-midlands-of-the-UK-not-at-all-far-from-Rare-HQ! I can see you!
It didn’t take much further research to find the formerly-anonymous gentleman to in fact be Rare founder, Mr. Tim Stamper of Birmingham, West Midlands, B46. Naturally, we are now sat in the DK Vine Unmarked White Van, parked outside of his house, filming his family.
We now await word from the DK Vine Helicopter Observation Team and from Space Station DK Vine, from which we monitor any and all communications made by Mr. Stamper. Rest assured, Operation: Stamped Out is GO!
So how about that Donkey Kong Country 4, huh?