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  10/01/99Slush:10/1/99----This is the first ever Accounts. I'll mess up.
----Finding out about the DKR action figures were exciting. I hate those beanbag critters Nintendo offers. And it also goes to show that Pokemon are starting to get phased out of the marketing scheme as DK64 looms closer.
---I can't stop thinking about......Mario Golf.......Plum is so domn hot......SLAP! I'm an idiot.
---I also can't stop thinking about how Baby Mario is actually the secret love child of Mario and Peach. Start up the porno music......NOW!
---51 days until Donkey Kong 64. Oh mama bahama!
---Very glad it's Friday,and I get to soak myself in DKC2 all weekend. I love that game. Love it!Chad: Well, this is my first ever entry in Accounts, so I guess I don't know where to start, so I'll just talk about today. I was able to get online early this afternoon. Slush told me about the DK action figure stuff. I spent the next 90 minutes wasting my time going from department store to department store, to no avail. Ho, hum. So then we worked on the site, and did some more stuff. Tedious stuff. Like making an old-timey picture for every Kong. Very tedious. Oy. But anyway, Slush's cable went out so he couldn't watch Leno or Conan O'Brian, so we got to talk all through the Midnight Hours! The MOONMAN visited us a few times, and Slush interviewed him. Then the MOONMAN visited me and game me some chicken nuggets and a Sun Drop Soda. I then realized that Rare's furry shenanigans in renders were made for DK64, since production for it started shortly after DKC. Then we talked about how much we liked our site, and some other stuff. Oh yeah! According to the Top 100 Greatest Gaming Sites, as of today, we are the Greatest Gaming Site! I am happy, but I will not brag, because people who brag are bad and should get a wedgie unlike any wedgie which has been bestowed on a human on this earth. G'bye, parasites.10/02/99Slush: ----Hahaha! I got Luigi in Mario Golf! I suck at that game!
----I can't believe there are DKR action figures! I need them!
----50 days until Donkey Kong 64. Oh hootar!Chad: We tried to do a lot of updates today, but I was doing crap work and wasn't able to come online until 9:00! BWAAA!!! We had to update by midnight or it wouldn't count! And we barely made it! We fixed a lot of crap errors on the site, and also I went to Toys R Us. It was incredible torture keeping myself away from the DK64 booth. I'm proud, because I didn't even see the screen, so nothing will spoil it. I think I may have caught a few frames of the Monkey Rap from 50 feet away, but I was just looking around a corner trying to avoid the booth, so it doesn't count. Anyway, Funco Land, who I reserved DK64 with March 30, decided that they wanted to lose my reservation thing, so they told me that I would have to come in again to reserve it, and they said they would get it in stock the 24th. I said "Screw you off a cliff. I am going to Toys R Us." which made them mad. I reserved it with my 10 buck down payment. The people there said they would have it in stock the 23rd, but the warehouses would have it the 22nd, and they might get it early, so I will still be there at 7:00 AM. (The store opens at 9:00 AM) And I came home, Slush and I worked on updating until Midnight Hours, which I am currently in, and we went crazy too. That is why this text is all jumbled. Hahaha! We talked about the MOONMAN and old commercials. Slush noticed that I accidentally still had tonight's update as 10/1/99, so I said "Uh oh, Spagettios" and he laughed and we talked about how the old commercials were better before that stupid Taco Bell Dog and "The O" Spagettios guy took over. And also how McDonalds commercials went downhill when they fired MOONMAN. Because MOONMAN is a semi-god. He's not a full god, like God, he's just cool enough that he's kind of almost a god. Well, he's omnipotent and he can fly a lot, and his digestive track is capable of processing circus peanuts, so he has to be almost a god. G'bye, parasites.10/03/99Slush: ----49 days until Donkey Kong 64. And the madness continues.
----I keep trying to get Yoshi in Mario Golf, but it's hard! Maybe because I suck at it....
----I'm slowly done reeling from the effect the plastic action figures are having on me. Phew
----Doing all these DKC2 updates have made me realize I like that game more than seafood restaurants that you see signs for going to the beach. ARG MATEY!Chad: Okay, let's see. I rounded off my crap work, but didn't do it all, so I'll have to BS my way through some stuff tomorrow. Heh heh heh. We had a giant update tonight, with tons of piddling crap. I uploaded, and we all rejoiced. I watched (and taped) the new Simpsons and Futurama. This has nothing to do with the site, I'm just saying... Slush was planning on being online after Futurama, but he's not here, and it's been over for 45 minutes. Oh, well. I'll see him tomorrow, and then we can laugh about Bart's blatant use of the word "hose". G'bye, parasites.10/04/99Slush: ----With 48 more 24 hour segments until D-Day has arrived, I'M GOING INSANE WITH ANTICIPATION!!!!!
----I love how no matter what game with DK's new tie on it, it has DK on the back of it (backwards) as well in the front. EVERY game. Thank goodness for DKU continuity. Thank you Rare. You keep all the cameo games in check perfectly.
----K. Rool's life story is farily interesting. If you're still scratching your collective heads over Squeaks and Flapper, read the FAQ you imbeciles!Chad: Ten-four, sergeant! You don't get it? It's October 4th. Ten-four. Ahh, never mind. So, I got online this afternoon, and Slush and I laughed about some stuff, but I can't quite remember what. I gulped down a half-gallon of water for no apparent reason. Oh yeah, and some religious church-type people came to my front door and tried to convert me, or something. I said "Erm... no thanks." But they kept talking! I told Slush, and we had a good laugh. Then we wrote a giant biography, and he signed off, and I've been trying to beat the wretched porcine animal known as Wizpig, but to no avail. I have vowed to beat him before the 11th, because I'll be pretty much occupied with Jet Force Gemini, to see if it's a DKU game or not. I made this same kind of self-bet with myself for the first Wizpig race, and won, so hopefully this will work. Okay, I'm finished. G'bye, parasites.10/05/99Slush: ----47 days left. I wonder if they are finished with the game yet.......hmmmph.
----That poem that I posted in updates today has some racial violence in the second and third verses, but we didn't show that part. Just an interesting fact.
----Ever wonder what our obsession with the MOONMAN is? I don't even know, so just accept it.
----Both Chad and I want the MOONMAN in a DKU game. Don't YOU? Not just a cameo appearance, but as a playable character!
----I have a headache at the moment, and I think it may be video game induced. I might as well go take some Advil right now. Advil for me works better than Tylenol. But Tylenol is still a fine product.
----Ahem. THE MACHINE SAYS KOKO KOLA, NOT KOKO KONG! Chad: Hmm. I did my crap work, and came online. Slush was here. We worked on the site, and made a fairly small update (But bigger than the other sites' updates!!! coughDK64Ccough). So we uploaded, and danced and pranced and sang a jolly tune. Not really, though. We just....corrected a few site mistakes and said our goodbyes for the day. What a great day I had! G'bye, parasites.10/06/99Slush: ----46 more days of waiting.....waiting......waiting.....waiting......waiting.....waiting....waiting....waiting....
----I hope nobody minded that we updated on Conker today. Conker is like that uncle that nobody wanted, but that nobody can deny exists. Of course, we at Jungle Vine actually like the little feller, but we're in the minority.
----Nothing to really talk about at the moment, but I was reading the ingredients for Planter's Honey Roasted Peanuts, and I noticed something unusual. Xanthan Gum is an ingredient. That's scary, since I don't know what it is. Why can't they just dip salted peanuts in honey? SIGH.Chad: Hmm. Alrighty-o. I got home from the daily rat races, and Slush was online as usual. We commented on Nintendork's absence, and checked out the other sites for DKU info. Hobo (Nintendojo) had some. Yahoo. That would go in the Updates today. But what else? We needed a link! So we made up a spiffy thing-o for the long weekend (horray for Columbus Day!) and put the Weekend Palooza in its place. Consequently, it was then a Weekday Palooza. Hurm. Slush had to do some crap work, so I did most of today's html, and then he came back online to type the Palooza intro screen, and we uploaded! Spiffy. So enough site stuff. I BEAT WIZPIG!!! HAROO!!!! I did it! Hwa-ha! Now I can try the freaked-out Adventure Two mode! The tracks are backwards! It's confusing! So anyway, today was a fairly good day, I guess. G'bye, parasites.10/07/99Slush: ----I remember when there was more than 1200 days left until Donkey Kong 64. Now there is only 45.
----Since I recently beat both versions of Conker's Pocket Tales, I like doing updates on the game. But the masses don't like CPT updates. Why? I have no idea. Because of the "any Game Boy game that isn't Pokemon is crap" propaganda that retard consumers have started? Probably.
----We have less than two months until Donkey Kong 64. I may be saying the same thing over and over again.......but that game will be the best game of all time. Yes siree BOB.Chad: Hmm. Not much happened today. I did some stuff, Slush did some stuff, and we talked, and now I'm signing off. Oh, and we had a scavenger hunt for California Raisin pictures! G'bye, parasites.10/08/99Slush: ----44 more days until I giggle like a small girl. Tee-hee!
----They actually say "Hell" in the Monkey Rap. So I feel I can say it here. Hell, Hell, Hell, Hell, Hell, Hell, Hell, Hell, Hell, Hell, Hell, Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell....
----Can we actually pull off an extra long palooza weekend with Donkey Kong 64? Beats the HELL out of me!
----Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell Hell......
----"Bart, you're not in church anymore, stop swearing!"Chad: Hey! We started the long weekend, I get JFG on the 11th, and tomorrow MST3K comes on! Horray! Slush and I worked our rears off and uploaded. We're the first site with the entire Monkey Rap in text. Krakow! Then the Midnight Hours hit. I showed Slush a picture of a really cool videogame character I made up. Then I bid on a DKC2 T-shirt! Hurrah! Now I'm typing Accounts. So far this Accounts has been pretty good. And then, I typed the sentence "So far this Accounts has been pretty good.". Woah, this is getting confusing. G'bye, parasites. 10/09/99Slush: ----43 more days until we can cause Diddy to run around in 360 degree rotations that make him look like he's got rabies!
----All of these Donkey Kong 64 updates are causing me to get even more excited about Donkey Kong 64, if that's even possible.
----Watching all of these violent movies on television today is making me want to play Super Smash Bros. And I would....but Mario Golf does own me right now. Besides, I think my SSB cartridge is out with my Mario Party and Mario Kart 64 cartridges ganging up on my copy of Mario's Tennis for the Virtual Boy. It isn't pretty, I can say that much.Chad: OY. I got online this morning, them had to get off until 7:00. We had a huge update and only a few hours to get it done! Well, we managed to finish with 30 seconds left! Think of all the things that could have slowed us down 30 seconds. A red light. A modem error. Yet nothing happened. We are very lucky. Then the Midnight Hours came. We went crazy. We made a 3-D render of the MOON for no apparent reason. Hurrah! That is all. G'bye, parasites.10/10/99Slush: ----42 more days until D-K, Donkey Kong is here!
----I rather don't like the "YDK" theme of http://www.DonkeyKong64.com. Y2K is bad enough, but then we have Yes2Kia, Y2J, etc. Why can't we just have Y2KILL?
----I have that music from the JFG/DK64 Promotional Video stuck in my head. You know, the music where they first show clips from DK64. Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo.....Chad: Fun! I got online this morning, CPT in hand. I beat the Aztec Temple, talking to Slush the whole way through. Then I beat the Catacombs with 4 seconds to spare! WHOOO!!! Then I was shown the vulgar display that is the Conker's Pocket Tales ending movie. I have beaten CPT GB. WHOOO!!! So then we updated. Then NDK64 Guy came online. He started talking to me, and then to Slush. He is crazy. Then he left to go do something. So we started talking amongst ourselves. Then we started doing this thing where we draw a picture of what we are thinking and immediately send it to each other. It was pretty funny. Ahahahaha! In four hours I buy Jet Force Gemini! WHOOO!!! Okay, then. G'bye, parasites.10/11/99Slush: ----41 more days until Donkey Kong 64 hits store shelves.
----I really detest the idea of a Columbus Day, but as long as it means a long weekend, why not?
----I hope all of our speculations from the Speculation Center come true, but I doubt they will. The odds of that are incredibly small. Smaller than Gary Coleman.
----What 'chu talkin' 'bout, Willis? See, that's what Gary Coleman always says.....oh, never mind.Chad: There truly is no justice in the world. I woke up at 6:20 with one thing on my mind: Jet Force Gemini. I ran to eat a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, and then went to the phone to dial up Wal Mart. "I'm sorry, sir, that game is scheduled for a Tuesday release." I have never looked more saddened in my life. I had my heart set on that game and I couldn't get it because some domn trucker was too domn slow and lazy getting his fat arse out of bed to deliver my game to Wal Mart! I called around. I got everything from "Huh?" to "It's coming out November 22" to "We don't know when the next Nintendo system comes out." So I got online. NDK64 Guy was online, so I asked him why he was not updated and then laughed because he was not updated. Slush signed on. I was glad, because then I actually had someone intelligent to talk to. We updated and had a long discussion about the Donkey Kong Universe. We decided to make a special that will probably have already been released by the time you're reading this. And here I am, accounting the day. The sucky day. Huzzam! G'bye, parasites.10/12/99Slush: ----Chad seems a little too obsessed with Jet Force Gemini......is he walking away from the DKU?
----Need.....DK64........NEWS.....
----I hate Sonny from Mario Golf. He will die before the winter solstice.
----I also hate Pokemon. That just popped in my head. So sorry.
----I like the new ketchup commercials.....
----I'm basically sick of everyone saying Tiny is Dixie's little sister just because Loveday said so. His sentence proclaiming that seemed a little off and ill concieved. We must wait.
----Looking through the few letters we had recieved, I realize that the majority of AOL users ARE morons. Except for Chad and I.
----I already mentioned Mario Golf. Forget that.Chad: I would hereby like to retract my statement that there is no justice in the world, for there is. I got Jet Force Gemini! Toys R Us had it! Hurrah! I love this game! The controls are easy, and only take about an hour to get down. I was struggling to stay alive, frantically aiming for sniper drones, but now I'm shooting down armies of those weird flying things without getting hit! And I'm a step closer to discovering the presence or absence of a DKU character! Oh, and we launched the Letters section! Everyone likes letters! And we got a lot of new letters! And I'm online way too late at night writing this! Ahhahaha! JFG will make an insomniac out of me! G'bye, parasites.99\31\01Slush: ----I can't believe Chad got sucked up into the Jet Force Gemini Wormhole! I have to go save him! But I also have to do Accounts. So......he can save himself.
----While a Letters Page may not be the most original idea in the world, it's still one of the most fun. I'm glad we have a Letters Page. Too bad we don't get much letters. But we can always steal DRC's from Nintendorks and say they sent them to us! Hahaha! We finally have a plan!
----Because it's fun to know, fun to say, and fun to yell, 39 MORE DAYS!!!!!!Chad: .setisarap ,eyb'G ...worromot yb ereh fo tuo teg nac I epoh I .yad eht rof etadpu nac eh os ,hsulS ot weiver a dnes ot deganam I .rettam on ,lleW .gnorw lla s'tI .ti ebircsed ot woh wonk t'nod I .sdrawkcab....smees gnihtyreve hguohtlA .hctih etaremarf elgnis a ton htiw ,selim dna selim rof ees nac I !gnizama si ereh gnihtyrevE !elohmrow inimeG ecroF teJ eht edisni m'I !woW10/14/99Slush: ----Chad finally escaped from the Jet Force Gemini Wormhole, but I think it may attack him again at some point in the future.
----I'm surprised I haven't been sucked up into a Mario Golf Wormhole....even though Mario Golf and wormholes have nothing to do with each other.
----I was thinking some more about the Donkey Kong 64/Dr Pepper deal. I hope this brings more mainstream attention to Donkey Kong. He needs to be more well known in the public's eye. And the cartoon is no example to do the eye gouging.
----Chad better escape from the Jet Force Gemini Wormhole before 38 days from now come to an end.Chad: Huff... huff... I wrote a long update today. Wow. I'm tired of typing. We added a feature. Finding those animal pictures was fun! I escaped the Wormhole. I'm back in the DKU. Thank God. But the JFG U is fun too, but I strongly prefer the DKU. I am finished. I told you I was tired of typing! G'bye, parasites.10/15/99Slush: ----I like the feature we typed up called "The Definitive Species." No more of this "they're all monkeys" gibberish.
----Did I mention that there is ONLY 37 DAYS LEFT UNTIL THE GREATEST MIRACLE SINCE A GOOD MIRACLE arrives? It's true!
Chad: Did some stuff. Updated site. Talked about monkeys in Mario Golf. Fun fun. Yes. Crap evaluation tomorrow. Gotta go now. Oy. G'bye, parasites. 10/16/99Slush: ----36 days. As you can tell, I'm excited.
----I finally have obtained Sonny in Mario Golf. Too bad I can't obtain Sony as well and CRUSH THEIR COMPANY.
----The same goes for Sega.
Chad: Wow. I can't believe today was actually one day. Tons of non-site pertinent stuff happened to me today, but since it's irrelevant I won't talk about it! Hah! Slush and I got the scoop on EVERY SITE with some screenshots. Cool. I killed that stupid bug thing in Jet Force Gemini. Cool. Slush and I spent the Midnight Hours talking about DK's treehouse, the MOONMAN, and making MOONMAN pictures, including the world's first MOONMAN render. Very cool. Well, that would just about wrap it up for today. G'bye, parasites.10/17/99Slush: ----I GOTTA URINATE SO BAD!!!!!!!! WHY DIDN'T I GO AFTER I PASSED OUT???? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! THIS CAN'T BE GOOD FOR MY SYSTEM.........cough....splutter......splash.
----35 days until Donkey Kong 64.
----These Gameshark Banjo-Kazooie/Tooie secret snatchers are really grinding on my nerves. Stupid cheaters, I hope Rare makes your secrets worthless AND erases all your games. And they could blow up your Nintendo 64.  Chad: Hey-hey! Today, Slush and I started off the day thinking for an hour about what the update should be. It was decided to write reviews. Two hours later, the update was complete. Hurrah! So I decided to make a render of a cove-type thing. It's my best 3D picture ever. Seriously. Hmm...so what else happened... Oh, we talked about what direction the DK sites in general were going. It was decided that our nonconformist site was moving west, while the others were traveling south. Odd, eh? Then we acted stupid for a good half-hour, and now I am typing this. Yay! G'bye, parasites.10/18/99Slush: ----34 days until Donkey Kong 64.
----Klubba is my favorite Kremling. I don't know why, but he's just really......GOOD.
----That's all I have to say today.Chad: Hum... Let's see what happened in Vinesville today, shall we? Well, I got online, to be greeted by Slush, the harbinger of bad news. All he had to say was "vomit..." and I knew something was going down at Rarewhere. Ugh. The first of the Mickey Mouse game is rearing it's retarded sellout head. I vomited as well, and went into violent spasms. Then I noticed that Leigh Loveday, webmaster of Rarewhere, didn't add any funny alt= captions to the Mickey pictures. That's humorous, because it shows that he obviously hates Disney. Hah! So then we wrote some bios, and spent an hour or so discussing which Kong has the most videogame appearances in the DKU. It was decided that Donkey Kong won with a total of ten, closely followed by Diddy's eight. Well, gee. I agreed to meet Slush online about 15 minutes ago, but that domned Jet Force Gemini was holding me up. Grr. So I'm here, alone, typing this up. Grr. But at least I got a gold on a Floyd mission, which means that I got an arcade chip, and so now I can play the Arcade racing game. If I beat two of those games, I get to play the Greenwood Village track from Diddy Kong Racing! WOO HOO! But then I got too cocky for my own good. I saw a bunch of drones, and I charged in, constantly holding down the machine gun trigger, yelling "BWAAA!!! You like bullets? Let's go over to that wall and ask your intestines! Hahahaaa!!!". Needless to say, I was instantly killed. Oh, hey! Slush just got online. So I can no longer devote anymore time to talking to you people. G'bye, parasites.10/19/99Slush: ----33 days until "it."
---Clapper is a fun animal buddy. And currently he is in more DKU games than Candy Kong. ER ER!
----I was thumbing through Nintendo Power today, and I counted about 500 refrences to Pokemon, 398 Pokemon pictures, and 1000 ads for Pokemon merchandise. I rather hate that magazine. Chad: Wow. We were really bored today, so we wrote a quick bio. Hurrah. Then we talked about embarrassing moments involving Funions and WOW! chips. We discussed how the worst kind of farting is "schoolyard farting". Oh no, I'm being yelled at! BWAAA!!! G'bye, parasites.10/20/99Slush: ----32 days left. Ahoy!
----They really didn't make much renders for Banjo-Kazooie. Hopefully they will wise up for Banjo-Tooie. They being Rare. Ware. Rareware.
----I don't have much to say today. Um......USA FOREVER! The country, not the network. I hope the network dies a cold, cold death.Chad: Did stuff, laughed some, uploaded renders, worked on stupid lousy crapwork, did more stuff, etc. Remember when I was being yelled at yesterday? Well, there were consequences and repercussions, and so I have to stop site work a lot earlier now. ARGH!!! But only for a few days. I hate writing accounts at 9:30 PM. It's so much more fun at 11:15 (PM, not AM). Ahh, yes. G'bye, parasites.10/21/99Slush: ----Tomorrow is one month until DK64.
----I really do hate Matt Roush, even though I never met him or had any desire to. Actually, I don't hate Matt Roush as much as I hate TV Guide. The bunch of mainstream Hollywood sucking punks. They helped save MST3K the first time it was canceled, but when the Sci-Fi Channel went all evil, they didn't do a BLASTED THING but run an editorial by Mike Nelson on how he loved working on the show. And that's all they did for the final episode. They practically gave Seinfield a blow job (as a metaphor, not in reality, although I'm sure Jerry Seinfield wouldn't mind).Chad: Bwa hahahaha! The time is 11:32 PM. I'm writing Accounts at the appropriate time. So, let's see.... erm.... I had some.......stuff to do, and then we wrote FAQ, Slush updated, and now we're talking about what levels we want in DK64 and how world peace is very selfish. And now I must go. And you all know what tomorrow is..... ONE MONTH UNTIL THE BIGGEST THING IN MY LIFE IS RELEASED!!! G'bye, parasites.10/22/99Slush: ----The big 30 (days until DK64) is here.
----So, we begin the Donkey Kong Country 3 Palooza today? Great. One of the DKU games that people say suck. The other ones are DKR and CPT. Why don't people like them? They rocketh thy world. Maybe other people are on drugs. Yes, that's it.
----Hmmm......I LIKE FRIDAY!
----Mario Golf is dominating too much of my life. I whacked my neighbors head off today with a five iron. It was bloody, yet I got a Birdie Badge after the deed, so it made up for the fact.
----ONE MONTH! Which means 30 days, essentially.Chad: ONE MONTH!!! WOW!!! ARGH!!! OH NO!!! WE UPDATED!!! ONE MONTH LEFT!!! I'M GOING TO PASS.... out......................G'bye, Parasites.10/23/99Slush: ----29 days, 29 days, 29 days!
----After blinking and missing the Tyson fight, I think it was funny. One round? One round? ONE ROUND? Not that Tyson won or anything. Not that he lost either. I'm glad I didn't pay fifty bucks for that match (not that I ever buy boxing Pay Per Views anyway. I only watch the sport.....when there is the chance someone's ear will be bitten off).
----I think Super Smash Bros. 2 should have Mike Tyson as a hidden character. And the FAAAN MAAAN!!Chad: Wow. Less than a month until Donkey Kong 64! I'm going to go crazy with anticipation! Oh...too late! Anyway, I had to do crapwork for the large part of the day, and then got home about 6:00. We rushed to type up bios and scan pics. Slush cut out to watch MAD TV and the Tyson fight. I caught the latter half of MAD. Slush told me that the guy fighting Tyson's leg fell off...or something to that effect. Then the Midnight Hours hit, and we went insane, as usual. I was trying to find Banjo-Kazooie beanbags for no good reason. We drew some odd pictures. Then we realized that it was Brandon DeHart's (from Nintendorks.com) wedding night. This thought made us vomit in terror, so we cleared our conversation and started over. So then we talked about some other stuff and went our separate ways for the day. My way is straight to Jet Force Gemini. 10/24/99Slush: ----28 days! 28 days! 28 days! 28 days!
----As Chad mentioned in the update for today, I'm putting rubber corpses in my yard. It's for Halloween, alright? Shut up, you filthy minded freak-hole.
----I've been playing Donkey Kong Land III because I'm too lazy to go over to my SNES and play DKC3, which I've had an urge to play ever since we started this Palooza.
----I hate Sunday. That means tomorrow is Monday. And that means occupational hazards await.Chad: Today was a great day. I wrote a review for my second favorite game of all time! Yay! And Slush and I talked about some cool stuff that I can't remember! And Slush buried a rubber hand in his front yard to make Kindergartners wet their pants in seven days! Ahahah! And I just beat Mizar, and meched up the three main JFG characters.... But now Mizar is on a crash collision course with Earth! He's gonna kill us all! AAAHHH!!! And I'm coming to the slow realization that it's going to be hell doing the html for Accounts. Sigh. Well, it'lll be worth it. G'bye, parasites.10/25/99Slush: ----27 more days. Gee whiz Vern, the time is almost here, know what I mean?
----I'm honestly shocked that Payne Stewart is dead. I was watching the PGA or whatever on my infernal television machine the other week getting tips for Mario Golf (funny thing though, I didn't see any of the pro golfers going for their power swings) and Payne Stewart was there. And he's dead now. I think I'll end today's Account entry with a three gong salute to Mr. Stewart, who's playing skill enabled me to get Sonny and Wario in Mario Golf.
----BONG. BONG. BONG.Chad: Wow. I can't believe DK64 is almost upon us. I found some spiffy screenshots, and we uploaded those. Also, I took some time to play DKC3 again. I loved the game all over again. Although I always run into a glitch when I beat KAOS and start to fight the Baron, I overlook it, and play everything the game has to offer. Besides, it's the SNES that glitches, because the game is too good for it. That's all. DKU games never glitch. If you own the game (and you should) play it again, and give in to the joy. Give inn.... G'bye, parasites.10/26/99Slush: ----Holy crap, I love that box art for DK64. I do miss seeing all the drone enemies gather around the Kongs like on the box art for the DKC and DKL games, but what are you going to do?
----Why is everyone calling DK64 Pikachu colored? Everyone should be calling Pokemon Yellow Version Donkey Kong Land colored! Stupid Pokemon....
----Ow! I think I just broke my hand! No, it's better. Ow! No, it's broke! No, it's better now. I guess I've been typing too hard. Oh well. I must finish Accounts for tonight. Ow! I think I'll quit now.
----26 more days. Ow! Okay, I'm done.Chad: KRAW!!! Let's see what happened in the wild, wacky world of DKU, shall we? Well, there was not much wild, very little wacky, but we did manage to report on the DK64 box art! Yay! And I finally finished the initial html for Accounts. Now all I have to do is add these last few days of October, and then I'll send it to Slush so he can add his Accounts, and a uploadin' we will go! Horray! And I got the blue key on Jet Force Gemini. This is why is applies to the DKU. The blue key is required to get into the drone nightclub, in which lies the two arcade games which you must beat in record time to unlock GREENWOOD VILLAGE!!! So All I have to do is turn into an ant, sneak into the nightclub, and beat the arcade games. WAHOO!!! Slush is not here for Accounts Hour. Perhaps he wrote his earlier? Hey, I forgot to eat dinner! I'm hungry! I'll have a banana and a hot pocket. Mmm. G'bye, parasites.10/27/99Slush: ----25 more days, alalalala!
----Mario Golf is getting TOO easy. Well, now it's getting harder. Trying to unlock Mario is like trying to zipper up Clinton. Sigh. I watch too much Leno.
-----Eubanks: "Ahahahahahaahahahahahahaha!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Ahahahaa!!!!! That's cold man. That's cold."Chad: Wow! I've nearly mutilated my hand, and I'm one step closer to Greenwood Village. Actually a few steps closer. First, I played Jet Force Gemini until arriving in the Disco Bug Fun Club, or whatever it is. I tried to beat the two arcade races in their record times, but it's nearly impossible! ARGH!!! So I got mad and went into the fun club, collected the ants' weapons (they were dancing) and then shot them while they ran about looking for a means of attack. Then I went to the DJ who looked stupid. "Hey, you look stupid," I said to him. "Would you like to meet my friend, Mr. Tri Rocket Launcher?" You can figure out the rest. But I still can't beat the domned arcade races. They're required to get Greenwood Village. Slush and I talked about some stuff which slipped my memory. Then, I got bored and decided to put a dime in the microwave to see what would happen. Nothing much happened, but when I reached in to take it out, I burned off my right thumbprint! Hahaha! But it's my videogame thumb! Oh, well. I'll play games anyway! Hah! G'bye, parasites.10/28/99Slush: -----Loveday muerte
-----Loveday muerte
-----Loveday muerte
-----Loveday muerte
-----Yo hablo espanol. Loveday hablas ingles. Yo no hablo ingles. Loveday hablas ingles. Loveday muerte. Loveday es tonto en especie.
-----Loveday......Loveday.....Loveday.........HATEDAY.Chad: Woah! I wrote updates late tonight, so I don't have much time to write accounts. But Loveday swatted down ape species continuity, our site, and above all else, Slush's Scribes streak all in one update. ARGH! I told you I didn't have much time to write. G'bye, parasites.10/29/99Slush: ----A good night's rest does wonders. I no longer question my Rarexuality. I DO hold the world record in Scribes, so why should I go cry about it? Or speak Spanish about it? Bah that!
----Halloween weekend is here. I have to hurry and finish putting rubber corpses up to scare those demonic Trick or Treaters. I do have one question though. Why do all horror movies have essentially the same plot? That's why I stick to games. They never have the same plo......nevermind. Chad: Hey, I forgot to say yesterday that I made a cool-looking cave render. Perhaps I'll post it next to this account. Today a lot of stuff happened. We updated, first. Then Slush and I had our first heated Breakfast Conclusions discussion. Then I found Our Friend's older brother. He looks cool. He also levetates. We did some Ernest impressions, and then looked for Sun Drop Soda sites. We found the official site and rejoiced. Hurrah! And now I'm rendering another picture, so you could see it tomorrow. G'bye, parasites.10/30/99Slush: ----Hahahaha! Trick or Treating was tonight here, and I caused holes to be burned in little children's underwear due to excessive peeing! My rubber corpses came in handy. Haha, now I can concentrate on the DKU again and not worry about Halloween for another year.
----What is Rare's obsession with Donkey's arse? Why do they concentrate so much artistic effort on his arse? Everytime I look at the back of my DKC Player's Guide, I see his arse staring at me. Shudder. Chad: Hey-woah! Tomorrow's halloween! And here's the picture I was rendering last night! Yay! So, let's see what happened today. Uhm.....Slush's screwed up neighborhood decided that today should be Halloween because tomorrow is Sunday. So he scared some little kids out of their bejeebers. I finally beat both arcade races in JFG, and unlocked Greenwood Village! YESSS!!! The track is an exact replica, except you are using a hovering ship, so the well shortcut doesn't work. But you go through the race a lot faster. Wow! Then we updated, and it's far past the Midnight Hours and I have to wake up at 4:00 tomorrow. I'd better go to sleep, then, aye? Yes! "El monster! El monster!" G'bye, parasites.10/31/99Slush: ----I'm a little upset that a portion of the homosexual community is trying to claim Halloween as the official "gay" holiday. You've already taken our most manliest names (i.e. Bruce), so please stay away from Halloween! Not that there is anything wrong with that.
----Halloween is great, but I wish the DKU games would embrace the holiday better. I was hoping back when Donkey Kong 64 was rumored to be called Ultra Donkey Kong Country or Donkey Kong World and was 64DD compatiable that there would be a special Halloween theme running through the game on that day (via the in game clock 'n calendar), but alas, we do not get that since the 64DD is made only for those Nintendo hating Japanese gamers. Maybe with Tiptup 64.......
----Getting the "scariest" DKU moments was fun, but I left off one to not feel like a pervert. It's the time when Cranky whacks DK and Diddy with his wooden cane in DKC. That just spells scary innuendo. But it's okay if I type that here, because nobody is going to be reading this, as I was informed by Chad that "Accounts" was nothing more than a personal journal for the typer's eyes only. Right Chad? Chad? Chad..........?Chad: Today is Halloween! And I didn't do a domn thing! I left to go to someone's house and skipped candy duty. It was fun. I got to sit around somewhere that was not home, while someone who was home taped Simpsons for me. Oh yes, and Slush and I wrote a feature that was spooky! Bwargh! And now I'm thinking that tomorrow we have to not only finish the html for Accounts, but create a new Updates Archives section. Aww, crap on a stick. Anyway, Halloween was fun. Huzzah! I got to see an ambulance! G'bye, parasites. |
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