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11/01/99 Slush----This is sure to be the greatest month in videogame history. I GUARANTEE IT! ----Yesterday was Halloween? Wow, it doesn't seem like it. ----22 more days! 22 more days! It's being released on the 22nd, and there is 22 more days left! What a coincidence! Wait a second, is it 22, or 21? Or 20? It depends which counter or system of counting down you go by! GEESH! Chad: WOW!!!! It's November! We have entered the Month of Reckoning. Donkey Kong 64 will be entering in 22 days and counting. Nintendo promised that they would release the trailer to DK64 today, and they did! Slush saw it on TNT! I can't wait to see it! I hardly watch TV anymore, with the site and all, so this will be great! Ahhh..... Donkey Kong 64. I can't wait. I will go absolutely insane on November 21. I will probably do a seconds countdown. Oh yes, and today I started my banana fast. Every day I'll eat a banana to physically and psychologically prepare me for the game. Wow. We posted our first accounts today, and that's about all. G'bye, germs. 11/02/99 Slush: ----21, 20, and 19 more days until Donkey Kong 64. ----I really hope I can beat Mario Golf, but I have my doubts. Chad is trying to reassure me. ----I'm tired, and I don't have much to say. That's a lethal combo. Chad: I just realized that in calling the audience "germs" and "parasites", I may be inadvertently turning them away. So I'm sorry, no more g'byes. Anyway, I still haven't gotten Nintendo Power yet. I should have gotten it 8 days ago! Why did this happen to me? It's the DK64 issue! Wahh!!! So, enough whining. Slush and I were talking about some weird stuff. The conversation went pretty much everywhere, so I don't know what to type. I still haven't seen the new DK64 commercial. And now I have to go to sleep, because it's very late, and I have to wake up too early, and it's supposed to be 35 degrees outside. That last fact has no relevance, I'm just saying. G'by..... oh, wait, almost forgot. No more goodbyes. 11/03/99 Slush: ----20, 19, and 18 more days until Donkey Kong 64. ----Last night I had a dream....where Pipsy was screaming at me. Or maybe that was Conker. Somebody from DKR was screaming at me. And then a Kremling bit them dead. It was hillarious if you could see it. ----With each passing second we get closer and closer to DK64. Just think about that. Please. Think about it. Chad: ????????? 11/04/99 Slush: ----19, 18, and 17 more days until Donkey Kong 64. ----Donkey Kong means so much to me. He's incredible. I love the guy. In a platonic way, but STILL.... ----I'm giggling with excitement over Donkey Kong. ----Soon the peasants will chant DK DK DK DK DK DK!!!! ----I have to take a dump. Chad: Sorry about yesterday's Accounts, I was very tired and didn't feel like typing. Plus the fact that yesterday was a boring Wednesday. So what happened today? Erm, let's see. No Nintendo Power magazine. For delaying it 9 days, it had better be one HELL of an issue. Slush and I found some new screenshots at our magical secret place. The shots revealed things that will be everywhere by the time you read this. Wow! You'll read this after DK64 comes out! That's incredible to me. Uhm... NDK64 Guy came online from his Jet Force Gemini slumber and tried to blackmail me into telling him where we got the pics. What a right punk, eh? So he left and Slush got back online and we talked about some stuff, and then....... I finally bought a new digital camera! Now don't think it will replace Our Friend, far from it. We'll simply transfer his soul into the new camera. Easy as pie. And Slush and I have both vowed to defeat Mario in Mario Golf by tomorrow. And that's what will happen. HUZZAH!!! 11/05/99 Slush: ----18, 17, and 16 more days until Donkey Kong 64. ----Well, it's PALOOZA time again, isn't it? That means it's Friday! Hurrah! ----I can't wait to get my hands on that perfect yellow cartridge. ----Conan is a funny man, but I don't know what he's going to do when Andy leaves the show. He's the essence of the comedy! ----I think the MOONMAN just flew past my window! He's one crazy guy! Chad: Wow! I have forgotten basically everything that happened! I was online, and Slush went to watch Conan O'Brian. I must have fallen asleep for an hour or so. I awoke to the sound of many messages frantically sent at me. T'was scary. But it was Slush. So I asked him how long I was asleep, and now I am writing this, and I am about to go to real sleep..... so tired...... 11/06/99 Slush: ----17, 16, and 15 more days until Donkey Kong 64. ----Today I watched some of Walker Texas Ranger, but they weren't fighting most of the time! Instead they tried to have a plot! Bad move! They need to just kick people! Wargh! ----That's why I like Super Smash Bros. Sure, they have a plot, but it's mainly just kicking and punching and kicking evil Pokemon off the face of the planet. Chad: Uhm.... NDK64 Guy was online, and he talked about something, but I wasn't really listening. Then Slush came online and I was all "Go away, NDK64 Guy!" and then Slush and I updated and talked about MOONMAN and such, and then I made a cool DK64 poster. Now I'm almost asleep, and I don't think I can make it to my bed, but the couch looks rather inviting. 11/07/99 Slush: ----16, 15, and 14 more days until the polar ice caps mel....I mean, until Donkey Kong 64. ----I can't believe I found a DK64 box of Dr Pepper! They need to rename it DK Pepper now. Or Dr Klungo. Or DK Klungo. And they need to make it brownish green, and taste like hairy green skin. Just until the end of the year, that is. ----Sigh, and so ends another weekend of Mario Golf playing and DK64 dreaming. This is SirSlush2, signing out. I'll leave the light on for 'ya. Chad: Ugh. I did too much crapwork. Then NDK64 Guy wouldn't stop talking. Finally, Slush got online, so we speculated about stuff. Neat stuff. Then I watched Futurama and Simpsons. Something is happening with Simpsons. They're getting retarded now. Tomacco? Now I see why Matt Groening created Futurama. He needs a new cartoon. Futurama is it. I've been watching the Simpsons for years, but I'm finding Futurama to be funnier than Simpsons nowadays. Anyway, after those, I was watching the premiere of X-Files and got hooked. I ran online to update during a commercial break, but Slush showed up, so I stayed. Then I went jogging, but got a bad cramp and started violently spasming on the ground until someone found me. Then I cleansed myself of filth, and got back online. I think I spasmed because someone suggested that DK64 would come out the 23rd. I yelled "BLAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!!" to them. The house shook. I think that's why I spasmed. And that's my two cents. 11/08/99 Slush: ----15, 14, and 13 more days until Donkey Kong 64. ----BRING IT ON! I'M NOT IN A GOOD MOOD TODAY!!!! COME ON! LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT! AHHHHHRGH! COME ON! HIT ME! HIT ME! HIT ME! HIT ME! HIT ME! (I'm quoting the most horrendous kids show ever made....My Brother And Me). HIT ME! HIT ME! OW! YOU HIT ME! @$%@%@#@#@ YOU! ----That's the first time I ever used cartoon cussing. I usually just say DOMN YOU! Hmmm....our little Slush is growing up. ----From what I've seen, I like Chad's blinds........... ----....................... ----........................ ----And so on. Chad: Wow. 14 days. I am going absolutely insane with anticipation. So then we wanted a day off, but since we have this "daily update" streak going, we just posted an odd fan art instead. Aaaaaaaaaaanyway, Slush and I updated and NDK64 Guy started talking. I told Slush to run while he could, and he was saved from NDK64 Guy. But I wasn't so fortunate. The End. 11/09/99 Slush: ----14, 13, and 12 more days until Donkey Kong 64. ----Yes, it DOES seem the DK64 commercial is a tad longer now. I like the longer commercial better, as it makes more sense than the shorter one. ----I constantly mention this, but what is the deal with Rareware and Donkey Kong's chiseled arse? They practically worship the furry thing! Blah! Slapnuts! ----Um.........my keyboard is broken.....so I can't type anymore (looks around, runs away quickly). Chad: Well, well, well. I'm feeling extremely lazy today, so I believe you can read the day's events from Slush. 11/10/99 Slush: ----13, 12, and 11 more days until Donkey Kong 64. ----We really did much small updates today. But we did ALOT of small updates...so that equals squat. ----Sigh....I don't know what else to say. I really don't. I'll talk like Bill Cosby to amuse you. ----Now you see.....the key to putting the azz in jazz....is to eat your Jello Pudding Pops like so........bwaaaaaa! Chad: Let's see...... Hmmm..... We updated, of course, marking our 70th consecutive update. And then We speculated. But I got my Nintendo Power magazine and almost collapsed from excitement. Slush and I yelled and screamed a lot. All kinds of stuff is revealed. But you will be reading this post-DK64, so your excitement may have died down, but ours will still be riveted. WOO HOO! 11/11/99 Slush: ----12, 11, and 10 more days until Donkey Kong 64. ----I'm currently playing Ring Shot with Wario in Mario Golf. Some courses are easy, some courses are HARD. They don't skimp on the hard either, they powder it on real good. ----Hey! I got a letter in Scribes! I'm back, baby! WHAT? DONKEY KONG DOLPHIN IS MILDLY CONFIMRED? WHOOOHOOOOO!!!! ----Forget DK64, I want my DK Dolphin! Well....I'll buy DK64, but I won't be happy knowing there is a better one coming out in about five years. Chad: Okay! I got online this afternoon, and Slush was nowhere to be seen. Out of confusion, I went to Rarewhere and saw a new Scribes. It said that there would probably be a DK Dolphin! That's incredible! We were too excited to make a link update, so we talked about Dolphin once Slush got back from Mario Golf. We're the first site on the Internet to report on Donkey Kong Dolphin! Wow! And I made a new render! This one is underwater in a river or something. Okay, I'm off to bed, for it is late, and I am fairly tired. 11/12/99 Slush:----11, 10, and 9 more days until Donkey Kong 64. ----I GOT DONKEY KONG IN MARIO GOLF TODAY! I GOT DONKEY KONG IN MARIO GOLF TODAY! I GOT DONKEY KONG IN MARIO GOLF TODAY! I GOT DONKEY KONG IN MARIO GOLF TODAY! I GOT DONKEY KONG IN MARIO GOLF TODAY!! I GOT DONKEY KONG IN MARIO GOLF TODAY! I GOT DONKEY KONG IN MARIO GOLF TODAY!! I GOT DONKEY KONG IN MARIO GOLF TODAY! I GOT DONKEY KONG IN MARIO GOLF TODAY! I GOT DONKEY KONG IN MARIO GOLF TODAY! ----I got 'em! Hey, it's also Friday! Whoop! Chad: Uh oh! Friday! Time to break out a Weekend Palooza! So we did that and updated. Then we found five new DK64 movies at IGN! Incredible! They're absolutely amazing. I can't believe I will be playing these in 10 days. And tomorrow we will be reporting on these! And there's a door with Wrinkly's face on it! Whoa! And Slush and I went insane, missus. 11/13/99 Slush: ----10, 9, and 8 more days until Donkey Kong 64. ----It's Saturday the 13th! Phew! Missed it by a day. We were lucky.....THIS time. Mwa ha ha ha!!! ----Today I kicked back and played some more Mario Golf. Fantastic game that is. I just hope I can beat it before an even more fantastic game scurries into my life. No, not that IGN favored Gayman 2 (not that there's anything wrong with that), but DK64! ----Did I mention I unlocked Donkey Kong in MG yesterday? Of course I did! I also beat Ring Shot today! Hmmmm......nobody seems to care. I'll just shoot myself, then YOU WILL CARE!!! Here I go! Doh, out of bullets. I suck at suicide! Chad: Horray! We updated with some cool DK64 movies, which we will be playing by the time you read this. Only eight days left! Oh my god! AAAHHH!!! Then I made a picture of MOONMAN playing DK64, and Slush tried to make a picture of MOONMAN with a DK mask, but it deleted, so he drew Mr. T instead. Wow! This game..... it will be the most incredible thing anyone has ever seen. Oh my God, I am so psyched out. I drank 2 liters of Dr Pepper because the bottle had DK on it and I got excited. I urinated seven times tonight. That's a record for me. Oh yeah, and Mario Party 2 is coming out in 2 months. Cough. WHO CARES? DK64!!! WHOOO!!!! 11/14/99 Slush: ----9, 8, and 7 more days until Donkey Kong 64. ----I hope we didn't sound too harsh with our Mario Kart 64 reviews. It's the 12th greatest game of all time in my opinion, so that's not really bad, is it? Look at all those OTHER games that didn't make the top 12 in my opinion list? MK64 is very lucky indeed. ----I hate the end of the weekend, because that means it's back to the crappy weekday grind that I hate so much. Tomorrow is Monday, but it should be renamed Fonday and should be dedicated to the DKU. We can all stay home from our occupations and play any DK game we want. Ahhhh.... ----Hey, my neighbor is mooning me! Put that back in your shorts, Mr. Chimsly! Chad: We did a lot of stuff tonight. Namely, I spent 11 hours working on crapwork. Finally, I got to type a review, and Slush did the same. Then we updated and watched our two Groening cartoons like normal Sunday evenings. And that's about it. 11/15/99 Slush: ----8, 7, and 6 more days until Donkey Kong 64. ----Today I started trembling when I realized we have but a week to wait for the greatest game of all time. And I started trembling in a public place, and that was embarrising. But Lanky said it was okay! Well, if he was there, he would have said it was okay. Um, somebody slap me. ----Our Friend: SLAP! ----...........how........did.....okay........? Chad: WOW!!! We replied to letters! SEVEN DAYS!!! AAHHH!!! And IGN has some intro videos! A lot of them! NDK64 Guy looked at them! Hahaha! He ruined it for himself! He is weak. Slush and I are strong. Strong like bull. 11/16/99 Slush: ----7, 6, and 5 more days until Donkey Kong 64. ----A week from now I will be playing DK64, correct? Oh geez, I'm trembling again..... ----Tremble.... ----Tremble.... ----Tremble.... ----I know I write shorter Accounts than Chad does, but I often get too stupid too early, and then I have nowhere to take the Accounts. Like tonight. Chad: Hum. Hey, why do my Accounts always start with some random word? Very seldom is it a sentence. Well, let's see what we've done today, eh? Oh, I forgot to mention a long time ago, we discovered that MOONMAN had Donkey Kong 64 for a long time. See the picture at right. He was playing it for at least two weeks before release. That's how cool he is. Slush called his Toys R Us and they said that Donkey Kong 64 could be shipped as early as Friday, but it would be illegal to sell until Monday. AAHHH!!!! I called mine, and I got a guy who had been working there for three days. Just my luck. So he didn't help any, and I hung up. But then we updated and laughed and chortled and went insane, like we have been for the past month. But now it's only six days until The Day. I'm shivering. I'm so excited! 11/17/99 Slush: ----6, 5, and 4 more days until Donkey Kong 64. ----Maybe we should have named the feature we cranked out today, "Running The Six, Five, And Four Day Gauntlet." That would have been stupid.....wouldn't it? ----I may beat Mario Golf tomorrow! But I doubt it, since I still need to do a few time consuming things, and I don't have very much time to consume at the moment. ----I'm hungry for some MEAT. I'll go now. When you people out there read this, and you want to eat some MEAT too, then I'll feel proud. But it's wrong to eat animals. But I'm wrong all the time. Har Har! Chad: Woah-hoah-hoah. IGN keeps released movies! Slush and I have decided to not view them at all. It's only FIVE DAYS left, and nothing shall soil them now! Oh, yes, and possibly the funniest thing in the DKU was the Klomp in Glimmer's Galleon! Ahahaha! Kllllllllllllllommmmp.......Klllllllllllommmp........ 11/18/99 Slush: ----5, 4, and 3 more days until Donkey Kong 64. ----Tomorrow is probably going to be the day I beat Mario Golf (HOOHAR!). While it's not neccesary, I'm going to play through Stroke and Speed Golf once so I can say I slapped every section of the game. ----We're so close to entering the DK64 pre-weekend. HOOHAR! ----Can you believe how close we are to DK64? I sure can't! I was trying to believe all day, but I still can't! Chad: EEEBERTY GEEBERT! FOUR DAYS!!! Our Friend came for a nice visit and happened to snap us a few pictures. Them he levitated back to wherever he stays. I think it's under the couch. I'm planning on a full-out investigation to find the location. Maybe there will be a rats-nest type thing with a Kodak mate for Our Friend, and many hybrid offspring floating everywhere. That would be cool. Pardon my insanity, as I am crazy due to anticipation. I'm sure Slush's comments for the day are as crazy as mine. (Yeah, after saying that, they're probably as sane as possible. Now I'm made to look the arse! Yee hee!) 11/19/99 Slush: ----I finally did it. I beat Mario Golf. That includes unlocking Metal Mario. I feel so happy. I NOW CAN JUST WAIT FOR DONKEY KONG 64 IN THREE DAYS (AND FOUR AND TWO) AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT BEATING MARIO GOLF!!!! I'm cutting this Accounts update short, because.....thinking about DK64 is too important. Chad: Wow!!!! There are only 3 days left! I can feel the excitement building! Slush is excited too! We constantly yell out non-sensical words and the such. FUN! But I have to beat Mario Party before I can play DK64, so I'm off to do that. Carry on. 11/20/99 Slush: ----I went to see The World Is Not Enough today. Besides having an impossible to follow plot, they didn't show the DK64 trailer. But at least there were plenty of explosions and near naked women to gaze at. I would rather have seen the DK64 trailer though. ----I was gawking at Metal Mario today, but he looks nothing like the beauty of Lanky. I can't wait to play with Lanky. Shut up you vulgar imbecile. ----I guess they don't make Donkey Kong Country fruit snacks anymore, but today I discovered Hawaiian Punch fruit snacks. They taste different, but better than the DKC variety. I still have an unopened box of DKC fruit snacks sitting on my shelf. I need a life.....wait, NO I DON'T! Chad: EEP!!! TWO DAYS!!! AAAAACK!!! 11/21/99 Slush: ----I took a drive through Amish Country today before working on the site. Let's compare, shall we? AMISH COUNTRY: Full of anti-electrical farmers, grizzled cows, and children with beards. DONKEY KONG COUNTRY: Full of pro-electrical apes, grizzled rhinos, and children with metallic red hats. I shall keep the second one. And speaking of one.....GOOD GOLLY MY GEEZ WOW!!!! ONE DAY UNTIL DONKEY KONG 64! ONE DAY? ONE DAY! ONE DAY I SAY? ONE DAY I SAY!!!!! Chad: DONKEY KONG 64 DONKEY KONG 64 DONKEY KONG 64 DONKEY KONG 64 DONKEY KONG 64 DONKEY KONG 64 DONKEY KONG 64 DONKEY KONG 64 DONKEY KONG 64 DONKEY KONG 64 DONKEY KONG 64 DONKEY KONG 64 DONKEY KONG 64 DONKEY KONG 64 DONKEY KONG 64 DONKEY KONG 64 DONKEY KONG 64 DONKEY KONG 64 DONKEY KONG 64 DONKEY KONG 64 11/22/99 Slush: ----Domn! Shite! Son of a botch! Bloody hell! The Toys R Us people say they won't get it until tomorrow. Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace came out on time, but DK64 won't? ----Domn! Shite! Son of a botch! Bloody hell! The Toys R Us people say they won't get it until tomorrow. Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace came out on time, but DK64 won't? ----Domn! Shite! Son of a botch! Bloody hell! The Toys R Us people say they won't get it until tomorrow. Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace came out on time, but DK64 won't? ----Domn! Shite! Son of a botch! Bloody hell! The Toys R Us people say they won't get it until tomorrow. Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace came out on time, but DK64 won't? ----Man, that ain't right. Oh; and I did plenty of kicking, tossing, urinating, pooping, vomiting, and other dirty deeds in my rage filled anger EARLIER today, so I'm better composed now than I was. Hmph. Happy Birthday to me indeed. Chad: Well, I suppose the last month's worth of Accounts were inaccurate, as today is the day that I suffered through the biggest disappointment of my life. I had stayed up until the wee hours playing videogames, so I woke up at about 8:45. Toys R Us opened at 9:30! Ack! So I drove there, and made it within 10 minutes of opening. A line started to form behind me, consisting of a few people wearing Pokemon shirts, but the vast majority (including myself) were clutching our reserve tickets and bearing DK clothing. Finally, the store manager opened the doors! But tnohing happened. I realized after five seconds or so that the doors were automatic, and I was frozen with excitement. I waved my arms around a bit, and they opened for me. I ran back to the videogames section. There was a huge cardboard cutout of Donkey Kong, with Lanky in the background! I grinned and kept running. I looked at the shelf. Destruction Derby 64..... Diddy Kong Racing.... DOOM 64.... wait a second. No Donkey Kong. Dismayed, I rushed to one of the pimple-faced, scratchy-voiced adolescent workers who was opening a box of Episode One merchandise. "WHERE IS MY DONKEY KONG?" I bellowed. He said it might come with the 4:00 shipment. I had the saddest face anyone on this planet will ever see. Our Friend should have been there to take a picture. Anyway, I got some much-needed breakfast at the nearby McDonalds, and went home. I fooled around with Jet Force Gemini and Super Smash Brothers for a while. I had a lot of time to think about what had happened. I decided not to worry about it, and that I would pretend that Tuesday is the day it comes out. Then Slush got online. He didn't get it either. We shared our tales of woe, and talked about ho tomorrow is the real date. It wasn't long before 4:00 rolled around. Have you ever been on hold for 30 minutes? Well, it's not a pleasurable experience. Don't try it. I eventually gave up and hung up. I tried to go to Toys R Us, but they still didn't have it. It seems the shipment was delayed. They will "probably have it tomorrow". Well, I'm off to watch Leno and try to get Mr. Pants in Jet Force Gemini. Next time I write this, I will own the biggest game ever. Have a good night. 11/23/99 Slush: ----AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! IT'S MINE! I HAVE IT! IT'S BIG! IT'S YELLOW! IT COMES WITH AN EXPANSION PAK! THE BOX ISN'T ANY BIGGER! WOW! ----AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -----WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -----YYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -----And earlier today, Chad accidently told me a spoiler in the game. I hadn't gotten that far yet, and he said that _ _ _ _ _ _ _ was _ _ _ _. But I forgave him when I realized that I would have been scared out of my skivos if I saw the _ _ _ _ version of _ _ _ _ _ _ _ unprepared. ----TIS THE GREATEST DAY EVER!! Chad: AAAAAAHHHHH!!! AAAAAHHHHHHH!!! EEEEEPPP!!! OOOOHHH!!!! EEEERRMMM!!! AAAUGHHHH!!!! AAAAHHHH!!! OH! I HAD BETTER COLLECT MYSELF TO WRITE ACOOOOOOUNTS, HUH? WHOOO!!! I got DK64! It's the best game I have ever played in my LIFE! WHOOO!!! But you're probably wanting the story of how I got it, eh? Okay, fine. I walked into my local Toys R Us midmorning, and the game had gotten in about 30 minutes earlier. My name was written on the reserve ticket. So I was shaking and giggling and shuffling my feet while the lady in front of my bought a Barbie doll. All the DK64s on sale were for reserve only at that time. The guy asked to see my reserve ticket. I shoved it in his face, laughing moronically. He looked startled. "Is something wrong?", I asked. He shook his head, thought a second, and said "Chad McCanna.... you work on that Donkey Kong site, huh?" My jaw dropped. Stuttering for the first time since I was four, I said "Y-y-yeah, how d-did you kn-know that?" He said he was a big DK fan, and that he comes to the Vine all the time. He reached under the register and pulled out the crate-box. He told me that this was for the "die-hard DK fan". Further explaining, I learned that it was the package for the videogame department manager. He said he was the manager, and that he didn't need any of the promotional stuff. He reached inside and pulled out a DK64 video, and handed me the box with the remaining contents. He said that the it would be illegal to give me the video. I don't know why. But anyway, I showed the lady checking for shoplifters that the man had given the package and I wasn't stealing it. I gleefully ran out the automatic doors, and was on my way home. I reached my house, ran in, slammed in DK64, reached for the power button...... and then it clicked. I needed to install my Expansion Pak. I fumbled with the little gray pick spoon thing until I got it in. I flipped on the power, and from there I was surrounded in an envelope of goodness and fulfillment. I have been waiting for this game for five years, and I finally got it. Well, I've been writing a lot, so I'd best be getting back to the game, eh? 11/24/99 Slush: ----I was prepared to start the actual game beating process today, but then I fell in a state of awe at seeing Donkey run around in three dimensions, so I said, "Screw that Willis. I just be running around 'n circles today, my homey dog." And yes, I have an imaginary inner city gang member friend named Willis. Oh, and you don't? ----I think I figured out where the Northern Kremisphere is since it apparently isn't directly connected to the behind of Donkey Kong Island. There must be a blocked off door (blocked off by K. Rool, 'ya here?) behind the bottom of the waterfall on the back side of the island that leads to it. No, there isn't REALLY a door blocked off programmed in the game, so don't go looking for a way to play in the Northern Kremisphere in Donkey Kong 64. Darn, that would be cool though. ----I'm glad they canceled the show Welcome Back Kotter. Chad: This was my first full day with DK64, and I've loving it to death. I have 83 bananas or so. I just reached Fungi Forest. Ken Lobb was right, this truly is the best level in the game.... so far. I just can't wait until I do more stuff in Fungi Fore(Note from 11/25/99: I must have fallen asleep whilst writing this.) 11/25/99 Slush: ----Happy Thanksgiving! I hate it when people say, "Happy Turkey Day! Gobble gobble!" Unfortuanatly, those people deserve to be stoned to death. That may sound harsh, but if Thanksgiving is to fall to such a stupid name as Turkey Day, what's next? The four "big" holidays (Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, and Ramadan) may fall to such moronic, un-true meaning names. Christmas could be called Elfin Working For Santa Day, Chanukah could be called Menorah Madness, and so on. ----I've started to beat Donkey Kong 64 today! Hurrah!!!!! It's great! There are so many spoilers I could spew from my guts at the moment......but I will spare you. ----I ate lots of food today. That must mean double my crap time. At least I can read the DK64 instruction book when the time arrives. Chad: Wahoo! I now have 113 bananas! That is all. 11/26/99 Slush:----Jackie Chan is awesome. ----Funky Kong is awesome. ----I can watch Jackie Chan on my television machine. ----I can watch Funky Kong give me artillery. ----Jackie Chan, from what I can tell and predict, will not be in DK64. ----Funky Kong IS in DK64. ----I could go watch a Jackie Chan movie now. ----Or I could go play DK64. ----The choice is obvious. Chad: Hmm. I played Donkey Kong's Fabulous Adventure in Three Dimensions even more this fine day. Then Slush came online and told me the saddening news that he will be gone all day tomorrow. I will go crazy, and will send him a lot of stupid e-mails in my fit of insanity. Ahahahaha! 11/27/99 Slush: ----I just got back from a wedding in North Carolina, and I'm dead tired. I didn't even get to play Donkey Kong 64 today. The horror! But the cool part of the day was I got to meet NASCAR racer Kenny Schrader at the wedding! Just like the MOONMAN, he races in a racecar. That was awesome. I shook his hand with my right hand....my button pressing hand! Now he gives me the power of the MOONMAN for playing DK64! Yeehee! It really is late. Chad: Well, let's see. My occupational break ends Monday, so I had to catch up on some work that I had been dodging for DK64. I did that, then I uploaded Slush's update because he was gone. And Slush got a few ignoramus e-mails. Ahaha! Yeessss.... And I was flippin' through the channels, and I came across a rather compelling show on the Discovery Channel about unknown creatures. They talked about UFOs, Nessie, Mokele Membe, a 50-foot snake, bigfoot, but more importantly, a new species of monkey. This one was very odd. It was about the size of a man, but was very slender, with spider-like arms. I would have called it a howler or spider monkey if I didn't know the size. For a monkey, this thing was massive! The photograph was taken in the 1950's by a man exploring the Amazon Basin. The reason it's probably not faked, was because of the condition of the exploring team. They were all sick and dying, except the photographer. So why would he spend time faking a shot while his team was dying? He wouldn't. So that can only mean that there is a larger species of monkey somewhere out there. And I hear Chunky's name all over it. 11/28/99 Slush: ----It's Sunday, and I got to spend much more quality time with DK64 today. I snuggled up to it, and ticked it's belly. Now if only I could find those last twenty bananas for Tiny in Angry Aztec....sonofa... ----I would say more, but why? I own DK64! I'm outta this dump! And off to bed. Chad: Well, well, well. I got a few more bananas on DK64. Just a few, though. I'm finally savoring the game how it should have been savored all along. I don't care how long it takes me to beat. I love this game so much! WHOOO!!! 11/29/99 Slush: ----Monday, eh? Well, the good part was I finally found those friggin' last twenty bananas. Now I'm ready to face that friggin' boss when I want to. When I WANT to. ----Chad just passed me the bad news of Nintendo Power. I HATE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ----I HATE THEM!!!!!!!!! ----I HATE THEM!!!!!!!!! ----Note: You may want to run away now, as this could take awhile. ----I HATE THEM!!!!!!!!!!! ----Hmmm...not as long as I thought. Chad: Ugh. The first day back to occupations are always wretched. Perhaps in the future, we can make money off the site, and quit work. Eh, there's wishful thinking for ya. So, let's see what happened in my haphazardly hazardous life today? Well, I got a new issue of Nintendo Power with the scary cover, and they gave Donkey Kong 64 an 8.6. Nintendo Power is on my enemy list now. They gave Pokemon Crap Snap an 8.7. They say Donkey Kong 64 is too big, and ther are a few minor camera errors. Donkey Kong 64 is PERFECT!!! You can't complain about a game being too big! That's just stupid! And if I may point out, Pokemon Snap was one gigantic camera error (pun very intended). Of course, Donkey Kong 64 gets a ten on everyone's list besides Nintendo Propaganda Magazine. From now on, I refuse to read the articles unless they are DKU-related, and I will stick them in a big box in the (duh duh DUH) attic when I am through. Now after reading the lousy review job by Nintendo, I came online to meet Slush. I told him, and he went off to write his update, which supposedly gave Nintendo such a thrashing you wouldn't believe. So Our Friend took some nice picturesque pictures, and I updated the DK64 Screenshots Page. But Slush isn't online for the updates page. Oh, there he is! Umm, gotta go, bye! Wait, no goodbyes! ACK! Delete the past several seconds from your memory bank. There. Good. 11/30/99 Slush: ----Savoring DK64 is great! I'm STILL just on the second world. And I've been playing the game for hours upon hours upon hours, etc. ----I guess I should feel worse about Twelve Tales: Conker 64's "limbo" state, but with DK64, I don't feel as bad as I should. ----I still hate Nintendo Power beyond belief. And just think, innocent trees have to die because of that magazine. ----AOL seems to be acting up at the moment. I hope that WAOL beast doesn't kick me o Chad: Crystal Caves are amazing! I HATE NINTENDO POWER WITH ALL MY MIGHT!!! RAAAAAAR!!! Crystal Caves are beautiful! I WANT CONKER 64!!! RAAAAAAAAAR!!! If I could live anywhere in the world, it would be in Crystal Caves. I DON'T LIKE OCCUPATION! I LIKE VINE WORK!!! RAAAAAAAAAR!