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  02/01/00Slush: Well, another month into the year 2000. Not much to say today. Really. I'm pathetic, but like I said, Accounts is more of Chad's thing. I'm sure he'll have a long Account today to cancel out my short one.Chad: Ohh, hoo, a new month, and a new number for the date. 2. Which is more dates than Kevin has had in five years!Eubanks: Man, why you always gotta be doggin' me?Heh heh heh.02/02/00Slush: Chad got online today and started to whimper and pout and moan. So I shot him. He was upset about Nintendork's pictures of "Donkey Kong" for GBC. I told him to calm down, that IGN Pocket or Nintendo had yet to show those pictures, and they were probably going on a false lead. The Japanese text showed that it probably was just Japan's version of DKL III (that wouldn't be called DKL III over there, so there is where the confusion could be). Chad: Well, CBFD will get an M. That's cool because Conker is funny and he cusses and I'm just rambling on about nothing. Dorks supposedly released DK GBC pics, but Slush was able to convince me that they are not from the actual announced DK game for GBC. Oh, well. Everyone go trust the other people. Don't listen to us, some of the most knowledgeable DK minds out there. Ehh, I don't know what I'm whining about. By the time you read this, all will be resolved. So here I am, from 02/02/00, signing off. See you in 27 days.02/03/00Slush: Yes! You have to love the Conker's Bad Fur Day news IGN64 reported on. The game sounds hillarious, and incredibly vulgar and violent. Finally, a game to satisfy my anti-society, rebellious needs! I also laughed in my head after I read the news at an old EGM magazine that had a small preview for Conker some years ago. It said something to the effect of "behold the horror of Conker's Quest, one of the goriest games ever." Now they have to eat their hat, just like Ricky Ricardo.Chad: OH MAN, Conker's Bad Fur Day will be the coolest game ever! Hahaha, it's going to be so many movie parodies all rolled into one magnificent cart! WHOO! FUN OUT THE EYEBALLS!!! YAHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!02/04/00Slush: Not much to say today, I'm afraid. I got up, brushed my teeth, and once the day was done, I celebrated it being Friday by cranking out the old DK64. I'm actually getting close to the end of the game now (hey, I've been savoring it, like anybody should). Stop picking on me.Chad: Typical Friday. We worked more on the Mystery Science Theater 3000 Tribute Funnos. We're aiming to release them tomorrow, hopefully. And I like Mario Party 2. I'm already at Horror Land. I'll play it some this weekend, I promise. Wait, why do I have to promise YOU anything? You didn't give me candy. I only promise stuff to people who give me lots of candy. My favorite candy is Skittles, but my favorite chocolate bar is Mounds. It sounds really gross, but the coconut actually gives it a nice moundescent texture. Uuuuuuuh, huh.02/05/00Slush: What a bad day this was. The Memory Monster on my computer (I have/had this monster that ate the memory from my computer...long story) nearly crushed me. I eventually was able to get online and update though (kicking Chad's written text to the curb). Well, I better not save this Account to my computer....so why am I still typing? Looks like I'll have to handwrite my Accounts for awhile, to preserve precious memory.Chad: I woke up. I watched MST3K. I laughed for about 10 minutes after it was over. When my belly stopped shaking like a bowl full of jelly, I turned on the computer. Wait, why did I quote Night Before Christmas? My belly doesn't look like a bowl full of jelly. Come to think of it, I don't believe Santa's does either! That whole poem is a farce! Death to that poem! YAAAHAHAHA!!! PEOPLE MUST KNOW THE TRUTH!!! Hey, I just cut the top of my hand. Whoo, blood's coming out. Ahh, it's bleeding quite profusely. Oh, man, now I have to clean up the desk and carpet. Stupid blood. Hey, my head feels all heavy. I really do need a Bandaid....tr55y6htg7rfv02/06/00Slush: It was a lazy Sunday day. We updated with Artworks. Hahaha. We suck (not hippo testicles either...unless they're deep fried and served with a slice of lime). We're lazy.Chad: Hey, don't worry, I'm fine. My head hit the keyboard and I passed out from blood loss while writing Accounts yesterday, but I'm quite alright now. And to cover on some stuff I wasn't able to cover yesterday, Slush was gone, so I wrote the update, but he's back today, and he replaced my update. So I guess that's an indication that the Memory Monster is no more. It's 3:03 AM and I just got done making a whole bunch of MST3K Funnos. What a way to spend your Monday morning, eh?02/07/00Slush: I'm actually curious about this Dinosaur game that Gun Toting Retro Net reported on, but that doesn't mean I believe they know what they're talking about. Sure, they may be buddy buddy with Rare, but they once said that a GBC version of DKR and B-K was coming out, for crying out loud! PSSHAW!Chad: Right, well, I made some 3D pictures of Slush and myself, which are appearing in their shiny renderedness in the Webmasters section tomorrow. And that took about all day. Luckily, some other sites had DKU news, so we didn't have an idle updating evening. I do believe B-T involves time travel, with the dinosaurs, monoliths, temples, sunken Roman ruins, lava, and those Easter Island rock head things. Now I've got to go use the Loggo. Aye, you probably didn't want to hear that, did you? Well, serves you right for barging into my private life like this.02/08/00Slush: As the commercial once said, Tuesdays are boring. Boring, boring, boring. You get up, do your occupation, and have nothing to look forward to. Since I usually address site stuff in my Account, I would like to say that I'm privately mortified that my mug has been put up on the site. Now all sorts of people can stalk me and/or lick themselves while looking at me. I AM long and slender you know...Chad: I like cheese, it's fun to eat. Sometimes I put cheese on crackers, and other times I eat it in pressurized squeeze-form. Yum, yum. Don't you like cheese? I wish I could live at a cheese factory some time. Oh, wait, this is supposed to be about the DKU, right? Okay..... umm...... Banjo-Tooie.02/09/00Slush: Whoa, more Dino news came into fruitation. I hope it's a DKU game, but I've been wrong about things before (I thought for sure Gobi would be in Jet Force Gemini...but I was right about Mr. Pants!)Chad: Sure, I DO want to sit here and type Accounts while Leno is on, but for the good of the world, I had better go watch Leno. Don't you agree?Eubanks: Sit yo ass down, man!SHUT UP, Eubanks! I'm putting you on my list!02/10/00Slush: Thursday means the twilight of the occupational portion of the week is upon us. That's always a good thing. So I did the Super Smash Bros. SSFAR today, mostly BSing the whole thing. It's as factually accurate as I could get, slapnuts. Try working without ANY GIVEN STORY in the instruction manuel and game. Hold on, I got to go. The local Fox station just said on their local news something about Jim "Ernest" Varney, and that it was coming up next. Chad: I'm sorry for the incredibly crappy Accounts. I really am. Tomorrow there will be a good one.... I'm just very very tired today (check my update, if you don't believe me). Uuugh, goodnight.02/11/00Slush: Man, Ernest is dead. What the hell is happening to our celebrities? He was only fifty years old, and he didn't die from the usual Hollywood drug overdose either. It was lung cancer. Crap. Let's all give a moment of silence for the king of backwoods pitchmen.Chad: Hey, remember last month when my computer semi-froze, except I could still see things happen, like when I got messages? I just couldn't click or type anything. AUGH, that happened again, so I'm writing on paper before Conan O'Brian comes on. Today I finally let out my game idea. Slush will do his tomorrow. Ugh, I hate writing on paper. This is stupid. Paper sucks. I'd prefer the cold stare of my computer moniter any day to this. Slush probably thinks I fell asleep or something. That only happened ONCE, a long time ago, and he kept sending me messages to wake up, but the computer volume wasn't up enough to I stayed asleep. Oh, hey, this infomercial is almost over. I'm going to lay down and watch Conan on the couch, and then, too tired to walk to bed, fall asleep here. Then it will be convenient to wake up and watch Mystery Science Theater 3000. I can't wait for Banjo-Tooie! WHOOO!!! It's going to be so incredible! I wish Rare or IGN or someone would release Bad Fur Day screenshots. Sigh. 02/12/00Slush: My DKU dream game may be a little on the twisted side, but I'd like to see Donkey turn evil. Maybe I'm just crazy. Oh yeah, and....I FINALLY FREAKIN' BEAT DK64 TODAY!!! I loved the ending, even if it wasn't as cool as DKC2's (but holy crap, they had Candy bending in ways I didn't think were possible in an "E" game). Ahh. Mario Party 2, you're next!Chad: I think I'm finally used to writing 00 instead of 99. Well, today I woke up, watched Mystery Science Theater 3000, ate breakfast, and got online. I messed with my programming software and finally finished my DKC-esque platformer engine. Then I thought of something that would be a bit more challenging. I decided to create a green bumpy CD Player for the computer. And finally, after hours of deliberation, I finished! I have a fully functional CD player with play, stop, pause, next track, previous track, time remaining, time elapsed, and track number! Yeahhhh! Oh, yes, and isn't Slush's dream game awesome? It's a jillion times better than mine! That's the kind of plot twist that REALLY gets peoples' attention.02/13/00Slush: And I bought MP2 today. I like it, but you can read about it in my First Impressions. Not much to say tonight other than the Simpsons suck dildo bread (????) as of late.Chad: Since I had a relatively uninteresting day, I'll tell you about an odd dream I had last night. See, aliens were going to anhiallate everything on the planet, but to stop them, Zapp Brannigan from Futurama decided to hold a basketball shootout. Earth members and martians would shoot, and the winner would not get anhiallated. The only catch was that the aliens lived on a high-gravity planet. They turned the Earth's gravity way up, and consequently, the Earth shooters couldn't make it. I saw what was happening, deemed it unfair, and ran to Isaac Hayes, who happened to be the refferee. He decided that the gravity was unfair, but before they figured out a solution, I took a super sonic lazer gun and killed them all. And I'd do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it. Oh yeah, and I taped Futurama and watched the incredibly sucky episode of Simpsons where Maude Flanders dies. I won five bucks from that episode, though, as my chums and I had a wager going to see which overdone 90's catch phrase Homer would use. You know how he always has those teeth-grindingly un-Homer sayings recently, like "What-EVER" and "As if.". Well, this episode he said "My bad" which is what I picked. I just won five dollars. Wahoo. And Slush got Mario Party 2.02/14/00Slush: Happy Valentine's day. Some people ask me if this holiday is depressing, since I don't exactly have a girlfriend. I then tell them I do have a girlfriend. It's just she lives in....um....Conneticut.....and of course that's why nobody has ever met her. And for Valentine's I gave her a GOOD update to the site, and that's why we left everyone else with a bad one. Sob....Chad: Only comic strip I ever laughed at was from Calvin and Hobbes. Very funny picture. Okay, I'm done rambling. I like Banjo games.02/15/00Slush: Don't have much time to write tonight, but I'll just say that tonight was the season finale of SIRSLUSH2'S ANNOYING DKU FACTS THAT YOU WANT TO DIE IN A HURRY. I have ordered 13 more episodes, and the producers say that they will go back in production in a couple of months, debuting new episodes at a later date. Chad: I just got a computer graphics magazine in the mail! Wow, this is neat. I like computer graphics. Let's see, it seems there's a thing that lets you actually sculpt stuff on your computer. There's an armature and it locks up when you try to go through something. Pretty neat. And.....erm....... BFD will be a really cool game and I can't wait to see whether Dino Planet is DKU or not. Maybe it'll take place in Pre-DKU. Hmm. That would be neat. I wonder when Loveday will pester the DK64 artist(s) enough for some Gallery Art. I can't wait for that. Oooh, baby. Rendered DK64 stuff. Mmmmm.....02/16/00Slush: Letters tonight. Hmmm. We're really running low on material, aren't we?Chad: Yessir. There certainly is a news drought going around. When will anyone have some new DKU news? Aaaaauugh! I can't wait for B-T. 02/17/00Slush: Yeah, we're running REAL low.....Chad: I'm running a fever. My head aches (probably caused by a headache) and my throat is sore. Thankfully, I am able to get on the computer to write Accounts, because usually if I'm sitting up I have horrible headaches. Oooooy. Well, I hope I'll be better tomorrow. Right, then. I'm off.02/18/00Slush: Want to learn the secret of taking a lack of news and happenings in the world of Donkey Kong and his friends and make it seem not half as bad? Split up your reviews! Ugh, this drought has got to end. The hits are plummeting as I write.Chad: Wahoo! I'm cured! I keep coughing, but who cares? I finally wrote my SSB review tonight. Then I tried to make an MIDI of the Gobi's Valley theme, and even though I can't read or write music, you can still tell what song it is! Wahoo! Time for Late Night with Conan O'Brian!02/19/00Slush: Yup, the hits are dropping faster than Richard Simmon's pants at a Rainbow Pride festival.....Chad: I'm still coughing! Ahahahaha! It's 3:50 AM. Slush and I played a game called "Psychic Slush". He only has one phone line, so I would find 1-800 numbers and he would tell me what they were for. I was amazed that he could do this and be online at the same time! There were all kinds of products. You should have seen him yell out "CRAYOLA!!!" in a victorious manner. It was great! Then he told me that he just typed the numbers in to ask.com. Ahahaha! I have been duped! And now, to quote the prophet Jeremiah (in binary), one zero zero zero one zero one zero one one zero zero one one one one zero one zero zero zero one zero one zero one one zero zero one zero zero one zero one zero zero zero one zero one zero one one zero zero one one one one zero one zero zero zero one zero one zero one one zero zero one zero zero one zero two. Goodnight, everybody!02/20/00Slush: Uhhhh...I feel so depressed. Mario Golf for Game Boy Color has Donkey Kong in it? Why? WHY? WHY?????? I've always beaten the Donkey Kong games in order. This is really unfair. I'm going to throw a temper tantrum......maybe later.Chad: Right. Ronny H. sent us some new Artwork! I discovered that MG on GBC is a DKU game! I created the Vine Screensaver! End communication.10/21/99Slush: ----Tomorrow is one month until DK64. ----I really do hate Matt Roush, even though I never met him or had any desire to. Actually, I don't hate Matt Roush as much as I hate TV Guide. The bunch of mainstream Hollywood sucking punks. They helped save MST3K the first time it was canceled, but when the Sci-Fi Channel went all evil, they didn't do a BLASTED THING but run an editorial by Mike Nelson on how he loved working on the show. And that's all they did for the final episode. They practically gave Seinfield a blow job (as a metaphor, not in reality, although I'm sure Jerry Seinfield wouldn't mind). Chad: Yes. Well. I didn't do much today........ and there is no DKU news. Although I am intent on getting TT in Diddy Kong Racing. Oh, soon that incessant little clock will be mine......ALL MINE! BWAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!10/22/99Slush: ----The big 30 (days until DK64) is here.----So, we begin the Donkey Kong Country 3 Palooza today? Great. One of the DKU games that people say suck. The other ones are DKR and CPT. Why don't people like them? They rocketh thy world. Maybe other people are on drugs. Yes, that's it.----Hmmm......I LIKE FRIDAY!----Mario Golf is dominating too much of my life. I whacked my neighbors head off today with a five iron. It was bloody, yet I got a Birdie Badge after the deed, so it made up for the fact.----ONE MONTH! Which means 30 days, essentially. Chad: AAAAHHHH!!!!! On my desk calander there's a cartoon drawing of Satan for no good reason! AAAHHH!!! Save me, Jebus! Oh, we really need some DKU news. If we were in a desert and DKU news was water, we would be about five days from drying up into human prunes. Now there's a pleasant thought.10/23/99Slush: ----29 days, 29 days, 29 days!----After blinking and missing the Tyson fight, I think it was funny. One round? One round? ONE ROUND? Not that Tyson won or anything. Not that he lost either. I'm glad I didn't pay fifty bucks for that match (not that I ever buy boxing Pay Per Views anyway. I only watch the sport.....when there is the chance someone's ear will be bitten off).----I think Super Smash Bros. 2 should have Mike Tyson as a hidden character. And the FAAAN MAAAN!! Chad: Tonight I didn't do anything worth mentioning except go to Taco Bell. There, I ordered one Chalupa and one Gordita. The Chalupa had nacho cheese sauce, and the Gordita was chicken. It turns out that the Chalupa, with the nacho sauce, finely ground beef, and lack of sour cream won the taste test. Given the choice, I would rather have a Chalupa than a Gordita, but Gorditas also have their "baked potatoesque" charm. Right, then.10/24/99Slush: ----28 days! 28 days! 28 days! 28 days! ----As Chad mentioned in the update for today, I'm putting rubber corpses in my yard. It's for Halloween, alright? Shut up, you filthy minded freak-hole.----I've been playing Donkey Kong Land III because I'm too lazy to go over to my SNES and play DKC3, which I've had an urge to play ever since we started this Palooza.----I hate Sunday. That means tomorrow is Monday. And that means occupational hazards await. Chad: Tonight I got home from the daily grind, and deicded to sit down to Diddy Kong Racing for a while. I'm still going to get that damned TT. My favorite track is Spaceport Alpha. I told Slush, and he says it's also his favorite. Whee. Slush wrote a few biographies tonight. We're having to resort to only biographical updates from the lack of news. I can expect our weekly hits to drop a fifty or so, but those characters won't biography themselves.10/25/99Slush: ----27 more days. Gee whiz Vern, the time is almost here, know what I mean?----I'm honestly shocked that Payne Stewart is dead. I was watching the PGA or whatever on my infernal television machine the other week getting tips for Mario Golf (funny thing though, I didn't see any of the pro golfers going for their power swings) and Payne Stewart was there. And he's dead now. I think I'll end today's Account entry with a three gong salute to Mr. Stewart, who's playing skill enabled me to get Sonny and Wario in Mario Golf.----BONG. BONG. BONG. Chad: I didn't play Diddy Kong Racing today, but I did finalize my DKC-esque game engine. I also played a bit of DKC3. Now I'm going to watch the Conan O'Brian show.10/26/99Slush: ----Holy crap, I love that box art for DK64. I do miss seeing all the drone enemies gather around the Kongs like on the box art for the DKC and DKL games, but what are you going to do?----Why is everyone calling DK64 Pikachu colored? Everyone should be calling Pokemon Yellow Version Donkey Kong Land colored! Stupid Pokemon....----Ow! I think I just broke my hand! No, it's better. Ow! No, it's broke! No, it's better now. I guess I've been typing too hard. Oh well. I must finish Accounts for tonight. Ow! I think I'll quit now.----26 more days. Ow! Okay, I'm done. Chad: I woke up too late for Mystery Science Theater 3000. Doh. I just got done eating sherbert. I like sherbert. Now my throat hurts. i think I may have strep throat. I need a glass of water. Today I played all the DKC-DKC3 bosses in order, and beat them all on the first try. It was tough. We posted letters. It's 2:43 AM, and I'm rather tired. I'm going to sleep now. Right, then.10/27/99Slush: ----25 more days, alalalala!----Mario Golf is getting TOO easy. Well, now it's getting harder. Trying to unlock Mario is like trying to zipper up Clinton. Sigh. I watch too much Leno.-----Eubanks: "Ahahahahahaahahahahahahaha!!!! Ahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Ahahahaa!!!!! That's cold man. That's cold." Chad: Ugh. I watched TV this morning. Then I ate some Hot Pockets. Then I played Diddy Kong Racing. I just have to beat TT in Frosty Village to get him. Argh, that Frosty Village race is incredibly hard. I'll get him, though. I'll get him... Then I watched and taped Futurama. Then I got a Chalupa Combo (Number Six) at Taco Bell. Chalupas are much better than Gorditas. Ohh, yeah. Then I came online and Slush and I did the Mario Golf section for GBC. I'm scared by Slush's last few comments in Updates, so I'll leave now.10/28/99Slush: -----Loveday muerte-----Loveday muerte-----Loveday muerte-----Loveday muerte-----Yo hablo espanol. Loveday hablas ingles. Yo no hablo ingles. Loveday hablas ingles. Loveday muerte. Loveday es tonto en especie.-----Loveday......Loveday.....Loveday.........HATEDAY. Chad: Last night, at about 11:45, I went to play some DIddy Kong Racing. I had to beat Frosty Village. I tried it once without using the shortcuts. I met TT! Then I tried it once more, and I BEAT HIM!!! THAT LIVING CLOCK'S ASS IS MINE!!! WHOOO!!! YAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!! And tomorrow will be the day that doesn't exist three years out of four. Neat-o!02/29/00Slush: AAAHHH!!!! I'm back!!! My time warp is OVER!!! It's about time too. What an odd week plus it's been. Well, today on this cracker happy Leap Year we honored Tiptup by making him our Leap Year Patron Saint. Make us proud Tiptup, make us proud. Hey, Accounts go up tomorrow. Wow! Oh, and after reading yesterday's Account, I just would like to say that I don't hate Loveday (en espanol!). That was when my Scribes streak came to an end, and it was really my fault (I only had about one letter sent in then and it was sub par at best). Now I don't even care much about writing into Scribes. The site has dominated my internet life that much. I'll only write in when I'm trying to get a scoop for the site. So we ALL love Loveday. And I hate February. Bring on MARCH!!!!Chad: Today exists only once out of every four years. Rather profound that a person who should be forty-eight is only twelve. Ahh, yes. My mind is on only one thing right now, (not sex) except it's the one thing which I'm not allowed to divulge on the site. Sigh. So on that relatively melancholy note, I'll see you next month. |
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