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  03/01/00Slush: We updated with Accounts today, and then the cycle started all over again by starting another month of Accounts that wont' debut until next month. That's all I have to say. Ugh, looks like another winner of a month.Chad: Cuh-raaazy march! Whoo, March is a cool month. better than February, indeed. Transfer Pak comes out this month! WHOO! I can't wait to play as Kid, Sherry, Joe, and Azalea on the N64! Hahaha, people are complaining about how we "make up all this sh-t". Well, if they looked a little harder, there is a nice disclaimer on every page that covers the "made up sh-t". Ugh. Anyway, we launched the usual Accounts and Update Archives tonight. Huzzah.03/02/00Slush: We did bios today, and that's pretty much it. Then I had to write this Account. And then I finished writing it.Chad: Wow, I've got a few letters about that "Bitersweet Symphony" thing. I'm only going to post one in Letters. Can't win 'em all, can we? No, we can't. Slush got a letter chewing him out about my Parry bio. Hahaha! Whoops! AAAHHH!!! I just looked at this creepy website and there's a horribly spooky picture of Dixie. Yikes! I sure hope Dino Planet is a DKU game. Sounds nice, and we need a Zelda-type game, as people have been complaining about the DKU's nearly platform-exclusive bearings. Some people just aren't saisfied with anything, I suppose. And some people also have sticks up their asses.03/03/00Slush: It's FRIIIDAAYYYYYYYYYY!!! WEEKEND BABY!!!! Irresponsibilites! Alcoholic problems! Perverted fantasies! CHEDDAR FROM A CAN!!!! Heh, tonight on Conan they had Hilton, somebody from Texas who runs a furniture store. Chad knows well of this guy.Chad: Right, pardon my last sentence last night. I was in a bad mood. Anyway, tonight I'm in a significantly better mood because on Conan O'Brian, Hilton the Chainsaw Guy will be a guest! Slush already saw the show, because where I live it comes on at 2-freakin'-10 in the morning, as opposed to immediately after Leno. Anyway, it's about to come on, so I must bid you good night.03/04/00Slush: I went crazy with updates today (even if they were all small). I feel good when I got crazy with updates, because I feel like I'm not really a lazy bostard. Like when I write large Accounts, I feel good about myself. When I write small Accounts, I feel bad about myself. So to feel good about myself, I better make this Account longer than the previous three. Okay, so what should I talk about? The weather? Politics? Pork products? Dried beef gravy? Coasters? Telephones? Novels? Wallpaper? Calendars? Eyeglasses? Newspapers? Desks? Trashcans? Ceilings? Trees? Boiling water? Coke versus Pepsi? Mountain Dew versus Mellow Yello? Dr Pepper versus Mr. Pibb? 7-Up versus Sprite? All the various orange sodas turned on each other? Well, how about nothing, because this Accounts is long enough now in my opinion.Chad: I'm away from my place of residence for the night, but I managed to find a computer, so I signed onto the internet to write Accounts. I managed to get online while Slush was too. Huzzah! Oh, crap, I've got to go. Tomorrow, then.03/05/00Slush: Chad wrote his Mario Golf review and I was depressed because it was a Sunday. Now is that horrible or what?Chad: I just found out that I get to go skiing in a week! YAHOO!!! This will be the first time I have ever seen snow! Rather ironic, considering snow is one of my favorite things, thanks to DKC, DKC3, and Banjo-Kazooie. I told Slush and he said that I shouldn't send him anything for him to update on, as it would be fun to see if he could handle the site by himself for a week. Hey, the X-Files theme is starting up and I want to catch this episode. 03/06/00Slush: Can you tell I don't care for Gun Toting Retro Net much? I hate their freakin' opinions, I really do. Here is an ode to Perfect Dark, just for them: Pefect Dark, Perfect Dark, it will s(uck)ark, compared to Banjo-T(ooie)ark.....Chad: Well, it seems Banjo-Tooie will be in my anticiapting hands on schedule. WHOOOO!!!!! I have been playing Banjo-Kazooie (to get the cast list for the Drones List). I am realizing how cool it is! Banjo-Kazooie is truly a masterpiece. Oh, and Slush keeps getting letters from people with sticks up their asses complaining about our "made up stuff". Well, it all makes sense, and it's not like we're saying "Donkey and Banjo lived in the Big City of new York when Grunty flew down and said 'Me and Evil Acorn will make evil clones of you!'" I'm tired of all the complaining, and personally want to keep all the originality. I think the Vine would lose its touch without it.03/07/00Slush: Not much to report on today...not much at all. EXCEPT for the fact that I DID urinate tonight. My pee was pretty too....crystal clear tonight as opposed to that heinous dark yellow color.Chad: I was playing Banjo-Kazooie tonight again. I finally beat it so I could get the things for the Drone List. I can't believe how lucky I was. I was rushing through, so naturally, I wasn't getting everything. I ended up with 98 jiggies (exactly enough to get the double health) and 882 notes (exactly enough to get through the door to the double health puzzle). WHOO!!! Click Clock Wood is awesome! I never noticed before, but Eyrie farts up your jiggy when he flies away! WHOO!03/08/00Slush: If you could tell from the update, tonight was a sucky night. Enjoy.Chad: I made a computer game today. It's actually quite good. I would make a DKC-type one, if only I had the graphics. Does anyone know of a site with the animation frames? Anyone? Ahh, I figured as much. I wish I had a word. Slush's word is "Slapnuts". I need a word. Doh. 03/09/00Slush: I was pretty jazzed up about the news of Nintendo offering a sports glove to Mario Party owners. The only thing that sucked is you have to practically send the game to prove to them that you own it. While I could see people taking advantage of getting free gloves, I think it's a little much of what Nintendo is asking. Except for the UPC, everything else is either hard to come by or not the best solution (I know I wouldn't want to rip the front page out of my manual). Oh well.Chad: Well, tonight was the last time I'll get to talk to Slush for a week. Herg. See, he's going to Pennsylvania and he gets back the same day I'm going to Lake Tahoe. In California. Hey, remember that movie "The Wizard"? That little kid kept saying "Califooornia..." Hahaha! 03/10/00Slush: Believe it or not, I'm writing this in PA on the back of the latest edition of Nintendo Power. Leno is on right now, making some really terrible jokes. Why does the man even bother...and why is the audience laughing? I swear he releases laughing gas in the studio or the "Laugh" and "Appluase" signs are really that amusing. Actually, you never hear them LAUGHING...you just hear them clap a whole lot. Hmm...interesting.Chad: AWW, CRAP! I'm going to go insane not talking to Slush. I'll probably end up resorting to making up conversations. Yeah.....that's what I'll do. AAAAHHH!!! Conan O'Brian is about to come on. And...erm... I made a giant 1024 x 768 wallpaper 3D render of Evil Amoeba from the Letters page. WHOO!03/11/00Slush: I'm writing this in Pennsylvania again, huddled in front of a small television set watching Saturday Night Live. Oh my! Neil Armstrong is humping his wife! I got to go!Chad: Sorry, I really can't talk now. I have to pack for my trip tomorrow. Haha, I'm typing this at 2:34 A.M. and my plane leaves at 6:30 A.M. Whooo!!! Bye!03/12/00Slush: And so begins my little journey taking care of the site by myself for a little less than a week. I'm pretty excited about it, because I've never HAD the entire site by myself for this long...what to do, what to do.....I think we need to get new drapes up, maybe shampoo the carpet, and put new tile in the bathrooms. Domn paint fumes, I swear it was a bad idea asking that magic genie to make my farts smell like paint fumes, I'm getting high everytime I let it rip now!Chad: Well, well, well It's 8:01 AM and I'm on seat 3-B of a nice large airplane. I hope no one sits in seat 3-C. I want that window seat BAD. Ugh. Someone is next to me reading this. I really should pop 'em. Heh heh heh. I'd be kicked off the plane. In a matter of hours I'll be landing in L.A. before getting a shorter flight to Reno, Nevada. I'm in the seat right behind first class, and they like to separate the middle and upper classes with a wall, so I don't get a tray table. I WANT A DAMNED TRAY TABLE!Hello again. These Accounts will probably be lengthier than the non-vacation ones for the simple reason that vacation time = free time and free time = Accounts time. HOLY CRAP! I just looked out the window and there are SNOW-capped mountains! WHOO!!! This is incredible! I just got done playing Game Boy. I beat Jurassic Park: The Chaos Continues. It's one of the only decent movie/TV Show based games. Whoa! There's a huge mountain! I wish Our Friend was here, but he has site work to do. This will be so cool going in the snow. Oh, here's the captain: "We're experiencing a little turbulance, please buckle up." Hey, I just realized that I'm flying in to L.A. before Reno. E3 will be here in two months. Wow. I was playing Mario Golf (GBC, obviously) and got my first Hole in One. The captain just said "Welcome to Los Angeles." Whoo! I'm in the entertainment/hooker capital of the world! Now we have to land. The stuardess just yelled at me for not putting up my tray table, so I'm afraid I have to go. See you in the L.A. Airport Lobby. Ahh, never mind. I'll just write in my lap. Oh, by the way, I eventually found a hidden tray table in the arm rest. Doo be doo doo doo, landing, landing, lalalala...Right, well, I'm now in the L.A. Airport. The plane was supposed to land at 11:30 and I would get on the plane to Reno at noon, but I forgot about the time zones. It's not 9:45 A.M. and I have to wait over 2 hours! Augh!Small French Fires- $1.99Whoopper with Cheese- $6.50 The unpoened kids' meal toy you find on the floor- priceless.Okay, I'm on the second plane. It's going down the runway. But that's not the big thing right now. What is is the fact that I JUST BEAT MARIO GOLF FOR GBC! WHOO! I beat the Peach's Castle course with a final score of -18! Hah! Mario only had -10! Whoo!L.A. has way too many palm trees. It's creepy. Here we go, the pilot is gunning the engines. Whee! The front of the plane is up...and we're in the air. WHOA! I can see the Pacific from here! I've never seen this ocean before!.........wait. We're over the ocean. I better not have gotten on Air Japan. I'm only about a mile away now and I can't even see the city. It's just one big smog cloud. Sweet! Ahh, now we're turning back towards America. Hmm. I'm hungry. Glad I packed some Cinnamon Toast Crunch in my carryon. Wendell is truly a master chef. Now I can clearly see the city. Wow. Comewhere down there is the L.A. Convention Center. Hey, there's a big snowy mountain! Huzzah! The guy behind me says that we're over the San Andreas fault. I can actually see it! Wow! Yeah, that was a cool flight. Now I'm sitting next to a drunk couple in the Reno airport. He keeps asking me "Did you blame it on them?" I said "Yeah, sure." He siad "Okay, you said you would blame it on them. I was just making sure you blamed it on them." Then he passed out. It's all I can do not to laugh. Right, well, the good people from AVIS rent-a-car almost found an automobile for my automatic mobility. I wish I could talk to Slush. I've been bored today, so all I've done is write Accounts. AAAAHHHH!!!! I heard "Goodbye, Mr. Pokemon." I looked up from my Accounts notebook and THE DRUNK LADY WAS FILMING ME! AAAHHH!!! WHY DID THEY CALL ME MR. POKEMON? I'm wearing both my DK64 hat and shirt. These people are insane and now they have my picture. NOOO! I have Nevada! I want to go back to my polluted coastal city. Screw skiing, this is too creepy! Whoa! Hahahahah! The drunk people left a roll of film on the bench! I'm going to get it developed! Ahahahahaa!03/13/00Slush: Monday, Monday....after working hard all day, I get home and have to work even harder on the site (okay, so I updated with a crap news story today....it's still HARD WORK doing all that saving...). And what do I get in return for it? A warm dinner on the table as I walk through the door? I little lovin' afterwards? NO!! I feel so neglected by my imaginary girlfriend right now I could cry...Chad: Sorry for that abrupt ending yesterday. I fell asleep. Also, sorry for the lengthiness of the thing. I was in a plane, and very bored. Anyway, yesterday I saw snow and it KICKS ARSE! WHOO! I just got back from skiing. Oy, it's tiring. I really want to go to sleep. If BFD shots show up while I'm gone......Herg.03/14/00Slush: I'm pretty proud of the Feature I wrote today, just for the simple fact that it's something I've wanted to complain about in detail for awhile now. It just burns my balls when those Gameshark Grabbers feel like they're so special because they cheated to get Rare's secrets....yeah, well why don't you cheat it up your ass....Chad: I was thinking about why I've been so tired lately, and then it hit me...I haven't had caffeine in 48 hours! AAAHHH!!! Anyway, I've made the following observations:-It's very easy to accidentally cross into California and get lost-Everyone says "Hallo".-Casinoes are everywhere! Even the 7-11 restroom had a slot machine!-There is NO GRASS! Everything is moss!Now I'm watching an X-Files rerun. It's in Russia. Probably when Mulder was captured and exposed to the Black Oil. Yeah, I was right. This is the episode where Mulder escapes the prison. It's cool. I swear, Loveday better not release BFD or B-T shots while I'm gone... Oh, and I had a weird dream last night. Slush rode up on a giant horse and said "Hey, Chad." I said "Hey, Slush." and then I started riding an ostritch like in the old Cherry Coke commercials. Then I woke up. Hahaha, that was insane.03/15/00Slush: I had a big plan for tonight's update, but then I realized last night the Games Page was gone. Without the Games Page I couldn't really do my planned update, so I scrapped it and updated the FAQ. Sad but true. Come back soon Chad so you can fix the site!Chad: Hahahaha! Oh, I was just watching "Raiders of the Lost Ark" on USA and Indiana just shot that sword guy! Hee hee hee. While this is my least favorite of the Indy trilogy ("Temple of Doom" as first and "Last Crusade" following), it's still a great movie. Better than 99% of the crap Hollywood produces. Haha! Guy: I need to find an adversary close to my own levelIndy: Try the local sewer.Tonight I saw Mission to Mars. That was a great movie, except the stupid alien at the end. That almost ruined the entire movie. That was after I night-skied. It's like night fishing only you have skis on your feet and fish are not involved. The monkey just died. "Bad dates." Poor monkey. Last night I had an extension of that ostritch dream. I was riding my ostritch across the ocean, and Slush rode up beside me in his giant horse. I said "Hey, Slush." So we rode across the Atlantic and basically were characters in a twisted version of the movie "Congo". We were shooting the bad gorillas, except they all looked like Bluster Kong from that insipid TV show. Amy the sign language gorilla was Our Friend. Weird. I'm tired. G'night.03/16/00Slush: BALAHAHADSLKFJDLFKJDLKRJDLFUELKRJEELFKJDLK!!! BAH BHA BHA BHA BAH BHAHA AH!!!!! WRECK OUR SITE ANS GET A FREE PIRAZE!!! OUR FIREIND SUCKS! Chad: Hey, it snowed today. Well, kind-of. It was mostly hail and rain, but there was a little snow. I was on a ski lift at the time, and it was stopped because someone fell off, so it was a fairly miserable experience. But I did get to make a snowman! Tomorrow night I get back home. I can't wait to see everything that happened. The videogame world is so fast-paced. I hope there are at least some Bad Fur Day shots. I wonder what Slush did with the site. When I left there was supposedly some B-K news that he was trying to get from a certain source. No, not Tooie news. This was about Kazooie. Hmm. Oh, well. Hey, once when Slush was gone he wrote down commercials in Accounts. I'll do the same............ there should be one soon....... yeah, any minute now.... wait, this is HBO. Damn you, commercial-free programming! Damn you to hell! Yaargh!03/17/00Slush: Lalalalalala...insanity....updaaaateedd wiiiitthhh rummoorr.... lalalalalalala... me so crazy............Chad: YAHOO!!! I'M BACK!!! That's all. Goodnight.03/18/00Slush: Hey, Chad's back to save the site from extinction (and me from insanity!). That's good, because I honestly felt like I couldn't handle this anymore, and if he was a few days late getting back I'd just get so fed up I'd delete all the pages myself and put up a new site about shower curtains. Did you KNOW that in every year in the 1990's, somewhere in the world they made SHOWER CURTAINS? I'm pretty confident it was that way in the '70's and 80's as well....maybe even FURTHER BACKWARDS in time....wow...Chad: Well, I unpacked, looked at all that happened, and got angry at Our Friend because to sold us out. It was probably just a faulty battery or something. But do you know what he sold the Games page to Satan for? Several thousand triple-A batteries! He takes Double-A! ARGH, that disobedient little camera.03/19/00Slush: Yeah, I'm writing this from 7-Eleven (really, I am). I'm really glad Chad's back and all, because that means I can start slacking off and letting him do all the work! You wouldn't believe all the trouble that goes into maintaining a site about computer generated talking animals and their wacky, oh so joyous adventures. It takes a lot of work, dipshite!Chad: I made a kite today. But it was rather forced upon me to do so. It didn't fly for a crap. I'll probably just paint it up as a billboard for the site and hang it on my wall near the computer. Okay, then. Goodnight.03/20/00Slush: I'm glad we did some more "Swanky's Strifes," because I really liked the first ones. I came up with a revelation today, as well. Sundays suck more than Mondays. Why? Because on Sundays you dread Monday, and then when Mondays arrive you no longer dread as much, you just get eaten alive. And that's not as painful as dreading about getting eaten alive. Mark my words.Chad: I remain confident that BFD shots are just on the horizon. Hell, Rare already has a section ready on their site! Anyway, that's all for today.03/21/00Slush: Australian Ben sent lots of Letters. Australian Ben wrote a lot. I will not. Today we updated with Letters. And I fell asleep sitting in a chair.Chad: Hahahahaha, I keep thinking of this thing they had on Conan O'Brian two Fridays ago. It was a cable channel called the Not Cool, Zeus channel! It had Zeus doing stuff and then they would say NOT COOL, ZEUS. AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh, I need to get to sleep. But I can't with all this laughing and such. We posted Letters tonight. A very large edition. It's one of my personal favorites. Aussie Ben is to Slush as Slush was to Loveday. Rather ironic, I guess. 03/22/00Slush: Artwork....ha, we screwed you today! Here's something that has nothing to do with Donkey Kong, but what in Accounts does anyway? I suggest they change the nickname of Wednesday from "Humpday" to "Bangday." Or "Poundday." Or "Loved..." No.Chad: I like to eat, eat, eat ooples and banoonoos.03/23/00Slush: I get off for Spring Break tomorrow, and I can't wait. Also, when typing up my review for Mario Golf (GBC), I realized that I liked it better than Conker's Pocket Tales. I thought that was pretty amazing, considering how I always hold Rare's games higher than the "cameo" games.Chad: I'm still waiting for Conker's Bad Fur Day shots. Please, Rare, don't make us wait until E3! I BEG OF YOU! And more B-T shots. We need those too! Lots of 'em! Now I'll pound my head on the keyboard until I get shots. u7ji u7 uij ikuj8 9k9i iuy6tgh5t6y6 87898 -0[p-;ldesrf4 8u0-op0p-ol uy89=[ ujik6t7y=[-] 67yt6y7y6u. Ohh, I feel woozy. Bye.03/24/00Slush: YES!! SPRING BREAK!!! NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR MORE THAN A WEEK!!!! THAT'S GREAT!!! Spring Break sucks too, because it's teetering on the verge of Summer, but won't let you taste Summer...it only lets you smell Summer before yanking Summer forward a few months. Oh well, at least I can get some serious Mario Golfing done.Chad: I have nothing more to say, so uij8 uik i98 0op09-0p 87 6754rt56yo0pl-=] yu7dfc rt5uhji8[lop[p-;++03/25/00Slush: Let's see what happened on this Saturday...hey, nothing! But to pick Accounts up somewhat, here's something false that happened to me: I was arrested because I "yellowed" my neighbor's mailbox because the Canadians told me so.Chad: Ahahahahaaa, Slush hates Evil Amoeba. Ahhhahahahaaaa. It seems that he doesn't like Amoeba jokes anymore because MST3K had Amoeba stuff or something and he's "Amoeba joked out". I like doing pictures for our main page FUNNOs. Wheee! Loveday, if I have permanent brain damage because of this, I'm blaming it on you (and yes, I know the teams supply the shots but you're an easier target). ui8j i90p-o =r4t 7u 89-=uji8k,chnmynikp0o hnbuyjui;p likujgbvt5 6rjkmnk,l;lpok uyythgh!!!!03/26/00Slush: Hey, the Academy Awards were on tonight, and that equals suck. We introduced our own awards thing, I played more Mario Golf for Game Boy Color, and I'm very much enjoying Spring Break. Chad's not, as he isn't on Spring Break right now.Chad: We posted a really cool section to the site that's an awards ceremony. Wheeoooeeooo! It was fun to write because we got to subtlyly mock Billy Crystal. And there are still no new shots, so uyh7 iy6u5tr 9i8itr5f6u8i 7u786ty7 76yu 8ui8uyu76h54rt 7yuo067yu98.03/27/00Slush: Another day, another Swanky's Strife. Hahaha, and I introduced "Unibrow Da Ghetto" today. I hate him more than the Evil Amoeba, and I created the character this time. Could you tell it only took me two minutes to think of the character AND design him?Chad: Those Swanky's Strifes are fun to write. Slush and I talked a lot about Banjo-Kazooie and Banjo-Tooie and possible link ups. We think the most likely link is a lock-on cart. Yes. And Leno's on, so I'll leave you with the Non-Screenshot Blues. They go a little something like this: ikuj8hy 5tr6t6y5gh7u yt6h t5r6uhyj7ui8j tgy65 ui9u8ik y67tt6ghfhu7 7uyu7yt5r6fg. Ow. This is really starting to hurt.03/28/00Slush: We were lazy today. We updated with Artwork. No wonder our hits are going down...Chad: I'm starting to like Mumbo more and more. Right now, the (quite literally) bone-headed shaman is at the top of my "Favorite B-K Characters" list. I wish there was a sidescroller with Mumbo. Hey, maybe with my DKC-esque game engne I'll make one, with all the graphics drawn in Windows Paint since I don't have a model of Mumbo! Wheee! Aww, crap, here we go again with the keyboard-to-head bashing. 898u 7uy665ty8u 90897hujygtfr 76tgy yuh7j8uijui9 7uyhj67y 7u7 8uij6ty555tr6. Blimey.03/29/00Slush: Kick arse, I've just finished downloading a Realplayer. I can have some fun with that tomorrow. Yeah, I know I should have downloaded a Realplayer a long time ago, but I have memory issues with my computer. And I hate them. If Nintendo ever releases a Donkey Kong PC game, then I'll have to boost my memory and fast.Chad: I've nothing to say to you. ui87 8iuu7y6hu8i 67yt4er578 cv0opo o0pl ui88iu67y8ui 0-po-0p[oup0o. 03/30/00Slush: Thursday...what can I say about Thursday...I hit some golf balls, played some more Mario Golf for GBC, worked on Letters, and that's about it. I watched TV too! Behold the jaw-dropping entertainment of Accounts, in all it's tainted glory!Chad: We posted Letters tonight. NDK64 Guy wrote in, apparently high, and got the Mr. Mooney Award. Ye-us! I wonder why we say "You get this month's Award". We give them out every Letters now, and Letters come more than once a month. Oh, well. 7u78 7yu6h 7uy7uy76uy 7u7u6y89 7uy7u u 8u87. Whoo, a lot of numbers in that keyboard head-pounding.03/31/00Slush: Tonight was that big farce of a fight on the site. I'm glad it's over, and we can get back to reporting on Donkey Kong stuff. It was pretty fun to watch though, just for the reason that I got to see two characters I hate go up in smoke. Now that's payoff!Chad: Evil Amoeba and Unibrow Da Ghetto got into a fight. Yes. They did. They're both dead. Our Friend killed Evil Amoeba. Hahahaha, that was cool. Goodbye, then. u8iu7 7uy676uyu ui9ui8j u8iukjh7y6 u8ikjh67yj8 u7 uu8i 77665uy7hje,khjuynukim ikujkl,ikj,iumh hnbjhgbyyhuj kikjmikji kjiu |
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