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  04/01/00Slush: It's April Fool's Day today, and we came up with a really lame "joke" about a fake Donkey Kon game. I mean, what were we thinking? This is a horrible idea and nobody in their right mind would believe it. Especially considering one picture shows Chunky gettin' it on with Candy. That's just stupid!Chad: Ahahahahaha, we did the most insane April Fools joke ever! A mating game? Hahaha, I wonder if anyone fell for it! I really hope that no one did, as they would be quite stupid. And I decided to stop pounding my head on the keyboard, and instead go for silent protest. ........................................................... ...................... There, BFD and B-T team, I hope you learned your lesson. Now, give us some shots.04/02/00Slush: Nothing much to talk about today. It's Sunday, and I have to write all these Accounts by hand because of my frigging computer and its "memory problems." And nothing really did happen today. Nothing. Of importance, anyway.Chad: Hi. Would you like to know about me? Well, my name is Chad McCanna. I live in America. I like the banana Runts candies better than the other ones. The pink ones taste like vomit. I like to watch Futurama and I like to tape Futurama and I like to quote Futurama even though no one around me knows what the hell I'm talking about because it's not in syndication yet. So I'm reduced to quoting the lousy new episodes of Simpsons because most of the good quotes have been quoted to death. So sometimes I stick in a "Soon Donkey Kong will taste my lizard-flavored surprise! BUAHAHAHAAAAA!!" That makes people think I'm even crazier. Other times I quote Short Round from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Once when I went to a Six Flags park, at the top of a rollercoaster, I said "Hold onto your potato!" and got slapped because someone thought it was a sexual innuendo. But it WASN'T!04/03/00Slush: Hey, we were lazy with our update tonight. "Artwork-It's Not Just For Slackers Anymore." Or as I end this Account, maybe I should say "Slacking-It's Not Just For Artwork Anymore."Chad: Slush and I talked aboutsome stuff int he DKU today. Hah, that accomplished a lot. We think the stars on the B-K entrance to Freezeezy Peak have something to do with B-T. Because they weren't in the B-K guide and all the secrets aren't in there. For example, in the guide that door in Grunty's transformation chamber is open. OPEN! Okay.04/04/00Slush: Like Chad, I'm getting tired that Rare is releasing no new news on any DK games. Come on Loveday, at least give us some Conker's Bad Fur Day characters, or more cursing if you want. Well, that's all I feel like talking about today. My Accounts suck. Read Chad's.Chad: I was sculpting a scuplture of Mumbo Jumbo today. It's really cool. I can't wait until it gets fired, then I can take a picture and show you its radicalationness! WHOO!04/05/00Slush: Humpday. Ahahahahahahahahaha!! Ahahahahahahahaha! Ahahahahahahahaha!! Ugh. So I got online today and a little while later Chad got online and we talked and I got offline at some point but then got back on and we did a little jig and I fell asleep at one point and woke up. EXCITING!Chad: Well, I didn't see Slush online at all today except for right when I was uploading. He seemed to have a lot of residual occupational work this evening (hah, coined a new phrase, I did) so I'll make observations of my surroundings. To my left is a calander. Futher left is the scanner, and even further left is my video camera. To my right is a half-full Diet Coke can. A few inches farther right is an empty Diet Coke can. At 1 o'clock is my Printer. 12 o'clock is the moniter. 11 o'clock is the tower. Atop the moniter are Mumbo and Donkey beanbags. On the wall behind the moniter are four framed DKU renders. On the wall to my right are two framed letters that the Personnel Manager of Rare wrote to me. Oh, Our Friend just floated onto the printer. Hey, he's coming over to the keyboard. Okay, let's see. It looks like he's going to type something. Okay, he hit Control...... Now Alt......... And Dele..........................04/06/00Slush: We updated with another Artwork today. Now, I'm really starting to get irratated that there is no news to report on. Not so much irratated at the fact that there is no news, but irratated about the fact that it's hard to keep our daily update streak going when there is nothing to report on.Chad: Why does Our Friend always mess with the computer, then hit the floor laughing? Sometimes I fall on the floor and laugh too for no reason, but sometimes it makes me mad. Oh, well. I guess it's just the nature of souls-inhabiting-digital-cameras. Shoo boo ba doo shoo boo ba dee. I'm so very very bored.04/07/00Slush: I came up with the idea for the pass the story earlier in the day since I knew we had nothing else to do on the site. I thought it would let our creativity shine as we try to put together a story that by the end will make no sense whatsoever. I'm glad Chad agreed to let me do it. It was either that or another Artwork, or maybe a General Game Info update. Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?Chad: Friday! Sweet, sweet Friday! Slush had an incredibly crackheaded idea for us to write an epic DKU fanfiction. However, as crackheaded as it initially seemed, it turned out to be great! So, the first two chapters are done, and several hundred more are scheduled. Also, Loveday started to post the DKC (GBC) info, but stopped a quarter through it. Grrr. Now I'll have to wait until Monday to find what it's all about. 04/08/00Slush: When I wrote the third chapter of the pass the story today, I had to fix a continuity problem that came about in Chapter Two, specifically the time of day it was. Not to mention that Chad killed of the Generic Gelatin Cashew Woman, and I wanted to find a way to bring her back without having her dead at all. The tug of war has begun with this little activity.Chad: You know what would be weird? If Donkey Kong sang "I want Candy" at he and Candy's wedding. That would be very weird. Well into the Midnight Hours, Slush started giving me 1-800 phone numbers that he found around his computer, and I would call them and report what they were. he would say "YEAH!" and give me another one. It was fun, except when I got people instead of answering machines. i would just say "Oops, wrong number" and hang up. Slush has some crazy stuff around his computer, though. Kickboxing equipment, Ex-Lax, raw hamburger meat, small explosives, you name it. 04/09/00Slush: Chad wrote Chapter 4 today, and that's pretty much all that happened. I'm going to bed, as I don't want to waste my time writing chicken scratch.Chad: Well, I'm writing this at 11:56 and I've got my occupation tomorrow. Oh, well. NDK64 Guy showed me the coolest interactive website thing, at http://www.soda.co.uk/soda/constructor/. It's awesome! Tonight's Futurama was great, as always. And Simpsons was surprisingly great as well! It's the first time I've rolled on the floor laughing at that show in a long time. Well, from new episodes anyway. I laugh at the syndication all the time. But this one was really funny. Homer was his good old pre-season ten self. It was hilarious. Right, well, I'm off to review my Futurama tape. G'bye. 04/10/00Slush: Today was a great day for numerous reasons, but it was still a Monday and there was still no new DKU news. I think MIDI files are crap, personally, but Chad seems to like them, so I guess they can't be all bad. They do load quick, so they have that going for them.Chad: I went to a sports game, so we updated early tonight. We started out with a new music page. Slush thinks that MIDIs aren't good, but for the downloading speed, the quality is actually VERY good. Oh, well. Still no new B-T or BFD shots. They'd better post some tomorrow....04/11/00Slush: Ha! New Banjo-Tooie screenshots came out today, and they were pretty good. I guess we have to stop complaining now. But that's what makes my Accounts go around...complaining. So now, I'll complain about something very near and dear to my heart...the F'N Golf Guru in Mario Golf (for Game Boy Color). F you and your mini-game. Oh yeah, and tonight IGN announced and previewed Mario Tennis, but no sign of Donkey Kong.Chad: WHOO!! THEY POSTED B-T SHOTS!!! AAAHHH!!!! There's this one shot that has an angler fish and IT LOOKS LIKE A FREAKING RENDER!!! Only Rare could take in-game polygonal graphics and masterfully tweak them until a playable render shows its face. We can be sure to expect a lot of this quality graphics in B-T. WHOOEEE!!! And there's a new Mumbo render that makes him look gay, but I'm starting to forget about the homosexual implications and it's actually a pretty cool design for Mumbo. He's more cartoony now. I still like the Banjo-Kazooie look better, but Tooie will be acceptable. Yes, quite.04/12/00Slush: We had the B-T Screenshot Analysis tonight, as we tried to milk every update we could out of those screenshots. F you, Golf Guru.Chad: Not really much happened today. At all. Really. Nothing. It was just one of those rare boring days you get in which you actually have time to watch Leno's guests (tonight he had Robin Williams and the Umbillical Brothers). Too bad the Nazi owner of my local NBC affiliate puts Conan O'Brian on at 2:10. Elsewise, I'd be able to watch it and still stay awake the next day. Oh, well. 04/13/00Slush: Nothing really to talk about tonight. Tomorrow is Friday, that's good, but I'm tired. F you, Golf Guru.Chad: What was today? Wednesday? Thursday? Oh, well. Who cares? Anyway, I ran in a few circles and fell over dead. That was how I spent my day.04/14/00Slush: I listened to the DKC2 music section after it was put up tonight, and even in MIDI format the DKC2 music sounded good. Hey, it's the weekend! F you, Golf Guru.Chad: Hello. I finally got to see those weird Mario Tennis pictures. Weird. Slush, Our Friend, and I did Letters. That's a fun page. Whee. I'm tired. Goodnight.04/15/00Slush: I'm....so...tired.....I....can....barely.....stay....awake.....night night...me....go...dream...about.....boobies.Chad: I'm so very tired. Hahaha. All caffenated beverages don't keep me awake longer, they just keep me from falling asleep. Without them, I will fall asleep really early. That is how I know I am addicted to caffeine. Whee! But Sprite makes me sleepy. You know what's gross and disturbing? Eye boogers. I don't know why they're called eye boogers, but I'm talking about those crusty yellow things you get in your eyes. Oh, well. Slush killed Cranky and Funky.04/16/00Slush: My updates are small, my accounts are small, what else about me is small you ask? That's simple...my brain. F you, Golf Guru.Chad: Well, tonight I watched that cool thing about dinosaurs on the Discovery Channel. Those graphics were freaking awesome! I also watched and taped Futurama. I started Futurama: Season 2: Tape 3 this evening. It was a great episode. The top quote was probably "Oww! My small intestine!" Timmybighands.com is a great website. Everyone go there! But... erm.... make sure you come right back to finish reading Accounts! Hey, did you hear me? I'm watching you!04/17/00Slush: It's Monday once again. And once again, I don't have a thing to talk about. Read Chad's Account, as he always gos into more detail than I ever bother too. F you, Golf Guru.Chad: Monday. BWAAARRR!!!! Lather, Rinse, Repeat.04/18/00Slush: Chad got mad at me tonight for using a Family Guy paraphrased quote. He likes Futurama better, and gets mad at me because I don't quote Futurama. Well, Futurama doesn't have any quotes that really stick out in my head. I'm sorry. It is funny, but I just don't like it to rip-off humor from. F you, Golf Guru.Chad: Tuesday. BWAAARRR!!!! Except, it was better than Monday, a bit. Okay, so it really wasn't. And nothing really happened. Except for the fact that my Mumbo Jumbo sculpture was finally fired. It's awesome. Yes. Looks like the B-K Mumbo. Not the cartoony Tooie version, anyway. I like the B-K design better, but hey, it's still the same character, eh? And I yelled at Slush for using a Family Guy quote. I hope he didn't think I was being serious. Pfft, I don't care what he quotes.04/19/00Slush: Don't stare at my man nipples like that. F you, Golf Guru.Chad: Happy Passover! At the good ol' occupation I was going around telling everybody "Happy Passover", and everyone gave me strange looks. Oh, well. Hey, I finally made my first money online! I made $75 for two-and-a-half hours of work doing graphics for a company's website! Yeah! My occupational duties have been let out for the Easter Holiday (or as the politically correct beaurocrats call it, "Spring Holiday"). Slush gets out tomorrow. So WHOO!!!04/20/00Slush: It's 4/20, and everyone who thinks they're cool has made a pot reference today. Haha, you're so cool because you think smoking pot is cool. Well, look at George W. Bush. Is he cool? I thought not. F you, just like the Golf Guru.Chad: Aaaahhhh. Laying around playing Mario Kart 64 all day for no reason never felt so good. I swear, I gave the other racers severe beatings from 9:00 AM until about 6:00 PM, with no signs of boredom anywhere. Ahhhh. Too bad I missed Whose Line is it Anyway. I was playing Diddy Kong Racing from 6:00 to around 9:00 when I decided to get my lazy arse online and help Slush update. Hahahahaha.04/21/00Slush: I went to the Nintendo website this afternoon and what greeted my eyes but DKC (GBC) information. The game is a port, but it looks like a damn good one! Oh, and F you Golf Guru.Chad: Donkey Kong Country looks freaking incredible! Yeah!!! That's about all that's on my mind right now, so I shall end Accounts with that.04/22/00Slush: Hey Elian, you little sailor, you just got your arse busted down by the feds, boy! Whatcha gonna do when Reno goes wild all over you? Bwahahaha, little punk. Oh, and F you Golf Guru.Chad: Hahahahaha, we updated with Letters. Slush told me to draw a picture of a Sneek ripping Pikachu's intestines out through his anus. I had no idea what he was talking about, but I drew it anyway. Hahahaha, Slush has the most insane ideas. I can just see Nintendo PR gnashing their teeth at our site. Also, we found some new Banjo-Tooie screenshots. Hahaha, we used today (4/23/00) to update, as it's 12:45 AM. Hah, we can actually go the entirety of tomorrow without really updating, because we already did. WHOO!04/23/00Slush: It's Easter. In honor of Jesus coming back to life and all that good stuff, I've decided to not work hard tonight with my Account. It's the Sabbith, and it's a holy holiday! Chad: I made twenty bucks today. That's about as eventful as my Easter got. I didn't even eat the traditional hard-boiled egg. Oh, well. I had lasagna for dinner, though! Home made, too! Yeah...04/24/00Slush: F you, Golf Guru. Seriously, I just can't beat his mini-game. I came close earlier today too, but no dice. That just burns my bridges.Chad: I had home made lasagna again. Only this time it was microwaved and soggy. Delicious. Then, some bozo started sending me messages, saying how he was hacking into dkvine.com. I got so pissed off. Then I told Slush. Then I got scared that he would mess something up. Then I remembered that we have an ultra-secure server. But he managed to mess with some of our Geocities images from our hypermart account, so I guess we have to move those all to the dkvine server now. The farthest the guy got was into our e-mail, but I reported him to the hosting company, so that should be taken care of. Off to watch Leno!04/25/00Slush: Today was a great day, because we found out Dinosaur Planet is indeed going to be a Donkey Kong Universe game. I'm glad Loveday came out with the info about Tricky on the first day of info instead of making us wait for months like he usually does. Chad got online all excited this afternoon because of more DKC (GBC) shots and info, and I had to tell him myself about DP. Hmmm....F you, Golf Guru.Chad: BLOODY CRAP!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!04/26/00Slush: More DP goodness tonight. Please let me go to sleep. I'm really tired. On second thought, I'll just say up all night thinking about boobies. I think I should incorporate the word boobies into some sort of trademark catchphrase. Then I could make t-shirts and sell them on the site. C'mon, anyone out there want to give me suggestions on a boobie related catchphrase? E-mail me at SirSlush2@dkvine.com.Chad: Okay, well, I'm a little more calmed down than I was yesterday. I can't believe Rare posted all this Dinosaur Planet info! I didn't even think the game existed! And OH MAN, it's even a DKU game! This game looks so freaking incredible! I did the spec center about it tonight. This game is sooooo awesome! I can't wait until E3 for all the movies and shots! Slush told me to be professional in my Update yesterday and not to yell and scream, but I can do that all I want in Accounts, because nobody reads these anyway. Yesterday I downloaded all the MP3s, and listened to them. Since Slush is still having memory problems he wasn't able to do the same. I had to discuss them with NDK64 Guy. Right, well, I'm going to Toys R Us tomorrow to try and reserve Banjo-Tooie and Dinosaur Planet. I can't wait to see the looks of stupidity on the employees' faces when I say "I want to reserve Dinosaur Planet for the Nintendo 64". Heh heh heh. And Krystal is a cat, and she's also sexy. Hmph. Leave it up to Rare to make an animal appear attractive. If they keep up with this, my instincts as a male and my instincts as a human will be torn and my head will explode.04/27/00Slush: I just want to talk real quick tonight about the notion that DP may be a prequel. I think that's damn cool, as it gives me lots of fun stuff to do with the TimeVine. Oh yeah, and F you Golf Guru.Chad: Rare posted some new stuff tonight! Whee! Music is really good. Tricky is a triceratops but I remain skeptical as to whether it's our Tricky. I hope with everything about me that it is, but there's always a possiblility that the designers just "needed a name". 04/28/00Slush: F YOU GOLF GURU. I SHOT AN 18, BUT YOU WOULDN'T COUNT IT BECAUSE I DIDN'T DO IT EXACTLY LIKE YOU SAID. WELL, WHY DON'T YOU TRY YOUR OWN MINI-GAME YOU LITTLE TURD (spelled it right, Loveday). DIE GOLF GURU, DIE!!!!Chad: Slush and I are starting to have conversations less and less. Whenever I try to initiate one he's always like "Umm, okay." or disinterested, or playing Game Boy. Oh, well. Maybe when he beats Mario Golf he will get excited about the new games and will start talking about the games again. During Slush's excitement abscence, I resorted to NDK64 Guy to rant and rave about all the stuff with. He knows a lot about Dinosaurs too. Before DKU, I was a huge dinosaur buff. I think every kid was. But I had this cool book with an Archeopteryx painting. It was really cool. Oooh, Conan is coming on. Bye, then.04/29/00Slush: Thanks to Chad for writing Chapter 8 tonight. I took "a break" as he said, watching my toenails grow. F you, Golf Guru.Chad: I bought a bag of M&Ms that was already open. So I ate it. Maybe I'll die tomorrow. We shall see....04/30/00Slush: We did Letters tonight, and I'd like to close the month out with a poem.SunshineDinosaur Planet and DKC (GBC) NewsMany Games Coming Out This Year And Next That Are DKU RelatedI Have To Beat Mario Golf (GBC)The Golf Guru Won't Let MePitch And PuttDarknessChad: Nope, still here. What good are open M&Ms if they're not poisoned? That's the only reason anyone buys open M7Ms. To be poisoned. Actually, I bought mine because I thought they were closed. Time makes fools of us all, doesn't it? I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography. When it comes out I'm going to sue myself. Slush has a theory that the year has brutally injured our brains, and that our conversations will pick up in the summer. I concured. Ack, tomorrow is Accounts day. Too much copying and pasting for my tastes, but somebody has to do it. And since Slush's computer will explode if he tries to upload, killing he and Diddy (or so he tells me), I have to do the pasting tomorrow. His computer will be fixed soon, though. Then he can also do the backbreaking labor of repeatedly pressing ctrl C followed by ctrl V. |
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