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  05/01/00Slush: Well....just another boring Monday. Played Mario Golf some (the Golf Guru's Pitch and Putt is IMPOSSIBLE it seems) and I stared at the wall as well. I sent Chad my Accounts and he wrote the update. I scratched myself. Uh...what's the deal with those GAP commercials? Are they trying to make some sort of artistic statement that goes over the head of common folk? When I'm a jean? When I'm a khaki? How about when YOU'RE a fruit?Chad: Ack, I have to wake up in five hours and eighteen minutes. I've been up late working on a computer game I'm making. A good, old-fashioned side-scroller canned Sword of the Samurai. If you want a copy, just send two dollars to Happy Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield. Don't delay, eternal gamingness is just a dollar away! Oh, yes, and while I was uploading, Slush somehow disappeared and never returned. I hope his computer messed up and he just decided to go to sleep. I hope it didn't explode. Because that would be bad. He and Diddy would die. And then I would have no friends, except Our Friend. But that's more of a name than a description.05/02/00Slush: You know, that one new Banjo-Tooie screenshot has some interesting drone baddies in it. They remind me of enemies from a 1980's style arcade game. The BFD shots are pretty cool as well, even though they appear to be lower in quality since they stemmed from an IGN64 movie. What's the deal with those acne commercials? The people in the commercials have either never had a zit in their life, or are covered with makeup to make their skin appear to be all smooth. It certainly didn't get that way because of the product their shilling for! And notice they only use models for those commercials? They should use pig tongues in those commercials....just to spark interest and do something CREATIVE for once...I dare them.Chad: WHOA!!! Conker's Bad Fur Day kicks f-cking ARSE!!! The best person in that video by far is Gregg. Hahaha, you really can tell that Loveday wrote the text. Now all they need is the word "bugger" or the phrase "bugger off" and the set will be complete. I can't wait to get a chance to play this at E3 next week! Wait, hang on.... oh yeah, I'm not going to E3.05/03/00Slush: I didn't do much today at all. I played more Mario Golf....that's always frustrating. What's the deal with those MCI commercials with Micheal Jordan in them? If I wanted an expert to tell me how much I could save with my phone company, why would I turn to Micheal Jordan? How much are they paying him to talk to his Space Jam buddies? How much could they save with someone that made more sense? Think people, think!Chad: Hey, I just got an e-mail from my old buddy Alex saying that Accounts is their favorite part of the site. That's odd, I thought no one read this section. Well, I guess I'll have to put my pants back on now. Lousy public nudity laws. Hey, just seven short days until Loveday posts that Dinosaur Planet info, along with the movies and shots. I'm not sure which I'll look at first: info, movies, or shots. I'll probably start downloading the movie(s), then view the shots and info to get my mouth juices flowing. Then, when the movie is done loading, I'll view it in its entirety to encase my keyboard in a coating of saliva. 05/04/00Slush: We practically rushed to get tonight's update out the window. It was all last minute. Slacking off is easy, doing work is hard. And it shows with the quality of the Conker's Bad Fur Day Speculation Center. And it shows with the quality of this Account.Chad: Well, not much really happened today. Slush and I argued a bit over how you spell certain words for no reason. Our brains have been completely obliterated by the year. Summer will change that, ohh, hoh, hoh! Hah, tonigth we had no idea of what to update on, until Slush yelled "BFD SPEC CENTER!" So we started on that. We got down a full twelve too. Not bad for last minute panic. 05/05/00Slush: It's FRIDDAAYY! It's also horribly late. Too late to write an Account, I'll tell you that much. Our update had something to do with Conker, but that's all I can remember I'm so tired. Conan was pretty funny tonight. I am not.Chad: Hey, it's Friday! Whoo! Jay Leno actually did something funny tonight. And Conan O'Brian had a conversation with a 2-D cartoon bird. And soon I will be the Flapjack King!05/06/00Slush: I guess the biggest thing to talk about tonight was the fact we've seen two Dinosaur Planet screenshots. I like the one where Tricky and Sabre are walking in the forest. That's almost as pretty as boobies. That's right!Chad: Uhh.... I don't remember anything that happened today. Maybe looking at our Updates will job my memory. OH YEAH! There were two new Dinosaur Planet shots. They kicko el muy grande arseo. I talk Spanish good. Huh-yuk! Anyway, the resolution is amazing! Also, I downloaded AOL Instant Messager for no good reason. Partly because NDK64 Guy told me to, and I'm very succeptable to peer pressure. And Slush and I made some more plans for the site. That was our first real conversation in a long time. You can tell summer is nearing.05/07/00Slush: It's Sunday night, and I'll make this brief. We put no effort into our update tonight. And you know why? Chad: Hey, it was a new Futurama tonight. A pretty good one, too. We updated with FAQ for lack of anything better. And I was messing around with AOL Instant Messager, and somehow I connected to NDK64 Guy's computer, and I could hear the TV on. In HIS HOUSE! I was all "AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!" and then I tapped out morse code. I got a reply. It was creepy. So, that's all that happened today. And I made 20 bucks.05/08/00Slush: Sorry about putting no effort into last night's Account. The basic stories for B-T and BFD were revealed to us today, and they sound pretty interesting, if not odd. Gruntilda has two sisters? Conker wakes up in a WWII era Willow Woods? Uh huh....I guess that's better than finding housewarming presents for your woodland chums.Chad: Ahh... let's see. I got a letter from Devon proclaiming the BFD story, which was acquired from Nintendo's Power Line. I got an idea and called myself, asking about Banjo-Tooie. I actually got a basic storyline! Two more sisters! Yaheeee! Oh, yes, two more days until Dinosaur Planet stuff. And today was another crappy Monday. Here here!05/09/00Slush: I believe it is getting close to the Electronic Entertainment Expo, so maybe we'll get some fascniating news out of the show (of course we will, what am I saying). I would be a lot more excited if only I COULD BEAT THIS SUMBITCH GOLF GURU! I HATE YOU, FOUL CREATURE OF THE NIGHT! I LOATHE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART'S INTENT! BURN IN HELL!Chad: Hey, there's a new Conker movie! Hahaha, it's awesome! This is the first time Conker's real voice is clearly heard. His short phrases were barely audible in the IGN movie. Well, E3 is coming closer. Last year my computer failed to operate for the week of E3, so I'm looking forward to being online during the colossus eventicus.05/10/00Slush: I can't believe it. Our update streak is about to come to an end. AOL gave up on both Chad and I tonight, and there's no way we can get online to update with our planned stuff. Oh, that's just fine and dandy America Online. You can merge with Time Warner all you want, but that doesn't change the fact that you lick balls! MALE BALLS!Chad: AAAAHHH!!!! My computer isn't working! I tried to get online to upload the new stuff, but it wouldn't connect! Unless Slush is able to do it, our 8-month updating streak comes to an end tonight. Crap. Oh, yeah, and the Dinosaur Planet shots and movie KICK SOOOOO MUCH ARSE!!! I wish Slush was able to see them, but his computer would explode at the mention of downloading a movie. And we can't have that.05/11/00Slush: We'll, we're back online today and we updated with a crapload of stuff. More than usual in fact. But it's E3 time, you know. I'm not going to delve into all this crap, because I always write these Accounts late at night, and Chad usually makes up for my lack of substance, because as I've said before, Accounts are his thing and I'm just along for the ride. But Donkey Kong IS in Mario Tennis! GREAT! Another game to buy....Chad: Well, that's it. Time to start a new streak of updates. Oh, well. Eight months is something to be proud of, I suppose. And is was against our will, mind. We had an update planned and everything. So today we just uploaded a jillion different things, today and yesterday's updates. There is one amazing DP shot, with trees that remind me of DKC's forest. There are several amazing B-T and DP shots. Man, Rare keeps amazing us. Slush wrote a great review and I made a picture for it. Yay. Oh, and Mario Tennis is a DKU game. Yay. Well, I guess all this good news makes up for the abrupt end to the updating streak. Uhm hum.05/12/00Slush: Today was our biggest update ever, as we updated three times to squeeze in all the E3 info. It's kind of fun too, working on the site in overdrive, learning all this new stuff about these games, while trying to beat the GG. Anything you'd like to add to that Chad?Chad: Today when I was playing Mario Golf, some psycho guy popped out of the bushes and claimed to be a hidden character. I screamed out loud, then found another. Oh, yeah, and there was a little event today.... I don't know if you've heard of it... E3 ring a bell?05/13/00Slush: Well then, TODAY was our biggest update ever. Lots of crazy E3 crap too. And Bottles dies? Hahahaha! Burn in hell, bitch boy! Chad, anything you'd like to add?Chad: Too much E3 info to list, so I'll leave you with an ancient Chinese proverb: Cabbage twice cooked is death.05/14/00Slush: Some E3 aftermath tonight. Nothing much. Can I sleep now? Thank you. No wait! I'll have bad dreams about the Golf Guru. Okay, I'll stay awake in that case. Yes, wide awake...Chad: Well, I'd like to shoot Golf Guru in the head, drag his carcass to a river, shoot him some more, catch him on fire, douse his burning body in gasoline, make it all explodey, and THEN kick him in the river. Oh, I got a new Banjo movie today. And Slush and I debated what was the best kind of Cap'n Crunch. It was a fight between Peanut Butter and Original. Which do YOU think is better? Oh, and I just looked at my Accounts length, and they almost suck as bad as Rarenet's E3 coverage.05/15/00Slush: I hate Mondays, but do you know what I really hate? THE GOLF GURU. Here's a little poem I wrote about the Golf Guru. I hope you enjoy.Bastard Shi---r.Shi--ing like a Bastard.Shi--ing like the Bastard he is.Sadness.The Guru.Of Golf.Bastard Shi---r.Chad: ARGH!!! I hate Golf Guru so much! Jeez, he's annoying! I started a match against Wario to take my mind off the stupid Guru. Ah, I'll get him yet...05/16/00Slush: GOLF GURU!!! YOU ARE A BAD MAN. VERY VERY BAD. I'M GOING CRAZY WITH ANGER! AND TEARS! AND SWEAT! AND LAUGHTER! AND LOVE!Chad: Well, Slush wasn't online for most of the day. He's overloaded with crapwork, so I'm repaying his favor of running the site for a week during my adevntures in skiing. I was talking with NDK64 Guy, and for some reason he invited me to their site meeting. I went, confusion-stricken confusion. I sat there and watched NDK64 Guy and some new person and the Charlie guy talk about megahertz. Then they left, but Charlie said something like "Talk to you guys tomorrow, and you too, Mr. Dk Vine Guy." It freaked me out, and I asked NDK64 Guy what it meant. He said he doesn't know. I have suspicions though. Not for any reason, it just seemed like a suspicious comment. I don't know, it was late and I was tired.05/17/00Slush: I REALLY AM LOADED UP ON MOUNTAIN DEW! I FEEL LIKE I CAN RACE COAST TO COAST! I' VE NEVER FELT THIS AWAKE IN MY LIFE!!!!!!! I....I....I....CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!!! Chad: Nothing big happened. Really. And then I still couldn't beat Golf Guru. And I yelled and kicked and smashed my Gameboy into my head then hijacked a steamroller and crushed it....in a dream. I fell asleep from 5:00 to 8:00. Oh, and I'm not sure if I mentioned this, but about a week ago I got a kitten and named him Sabre. He's cool. I'm working on teaching him to walk on two legs and carry a sword.05/18/00Slush: Tomorrow's Friday. And I plan to beat the Golf Guru this weekend. If I can't, then I'll look like a fool because I said I would in this Account, but I really don't care anymore. It's all about me facing off against him one last time. I'll knock the liver spots right off of his bald, wrinkled head. And then I'll swear some in victory! Chad: I did another crap update while Slush is out of working commision. Then I went to sleep. Then I woke up, somehow realizing that it was only 3:45 P.M. Then I watched TV. Then I went on an adventure involving delivering a package to Anchorage, Alaska in time for supper. I didn't make it, though. I ended up eating Eskimo food for dinner halfway bewteen the U.S. Mainland and Alaska. Didn't quite make it out of Canada. But I DID get to see the birthplace of Captain Hair. 05/19/00Slush: He didn't give me the star. He didn't give me the star. He didn't give me the star. He didn't give me the star. He didnt' give me the star. He didn't give me the star. He didn't give me the star. He didn't give me the star.Chad: Well, I welt to see Dinosaur tonight, being the spineless sucker for good graphics that I am. It was actually a good movie, though the plot could have done with some retooling. It was basically The Land Before Time with great graphics and the embarassingly stupid word "Jerkasaurus". Hah, the best part of the whole movie was the intro, and we all saw that during the trailer. Oh, well. Slush found some Mario Tennis shots for Our Friend to post, and Conan O'Brian is about to come on. Sigh. Andy will be leaving next Friday. The show just won't be the same without him...05/20/00Slush: I was on the ninth hole today. The ninth hole of the Pitch and Putt. I had got it on the green and in on the previous eight. My palms were sweating. My hands were shaking. I started to blur out. I went to make my drive. It went up.....it...it.....landed in the water. And that pretty much set the mood for the rest of the day. Leave me alone, you heathens!Chad: Slush and I spent all night trying to find sites to help us beat the Golf Guru. ARGH! I hate that bastard! I hate him! RAAAARGH!!!05/21/00Slush: HAHAHAHAHA!! I'M SO HAPPY! I DON'T HAVE TO BEAT THE GOLF GURU! I BEAT MARIO GOLF EARLIER TONIGHT! I DID A LITTLE DANCE! THE NEIGHBORS HAD ME ARRESTED! IT WAS GREAT!Chad: WHOO!!! We don't have to actually beat the Golf Guru! Slush realized today that it's just a stupid minigame which we've been obsessing over, making ourselves look stupid! Hahaha!!! YESSS!!! WHEEEEEOOOOO!!!!!!05/22/00Slush: What to talk about tonight....Mario Tennis is coming out September 25th (U.S. release date) and that's all I can really comment on. Mario Tennis will be coming out less than a month after Banjo-Tooie and Donkey Kong Country (GBC), and then sandwhiched between Conker's Bad Fur Day and Dinosaur Planet. Oh man, what a Fall/Winter that will be.Chad: Well, my occupational crap is done until early August. Horray!. Now I can sleep until noon and watch Court TV all day long!05/23/00Slush: Really...I'm tired already of this Perfect Dark hype. That's all you see on the major sites, and I'm getting sick of it. There are other games to talk about you weasels, and while I'm sure PD is a great game (it is Rare you know), you should have devoted this much time to Donkey Kong 64. But I'm not bitter. Oh no. I'm p--sed. Chad: Guess what I did today! I slept until noon, got online and downloaded Dino Planet MP3s until I fully woke up and realized that I had downloaded them a month ago, and then I went to the couch and watched Court TV for a few hours. Then I got online and Slush got online in a few minutes. I told him about my day. He said, "Wow, that's.......LAZY!" I said, "YEAH!" Because I was proud of sitting through several hours of Mills Lane. We did the standard update. Then I downloaded this twenty-minute Ken Lobb Banjo-Tooie thing from Retro Net and began transcripting for the site. I worked on it for three hours (only getting seventeen minutes into it). Mr. Lobb talks FAST! Geez! Anyway, Conan O'Brian came on so I got offline to watch it. Sigh. Only four more days until Andy leaves the show.05/24/00Slush: Everyone always love Letters! I suppose. Good night!Chad: We posted Letters today and I helped out someone with programming a game. Now I'm typing Accounts while listening to Dinosaur Planet MP3s. This music rocks. I can't wait for the CD. Nintendo better put it on two discs if it doesn't all fit onto one. I'd be willing to pay extra. After all, I wasted thirteen bucks on these Hot Wheels car things with Kong faces on.05/25/00Slush: I finally updated the TimeVine tonight with some more stuff. That was long overdue, but I have to add DK64 and MP2 information as well, so my work is far from over. Tomorrow Andy Richter leaves Late Night with Conan O' Brien. I can't miss that episode. Chad: Ugh. I'm sad because tomorrow is Andy's last day on Conan. Nothing really to talk about as of now. Sigh. 05/26/00Slush: Andy Richter's last episode of Late Night aired later than normal tonight thanks to basketball (I'd be more entertained if the players shilled for MCI than delayed Andy's last episode) but I watched it and taped it anyway. It was really funny yet really sad at the same time. It was almost too much to handle at the end when Conan almost broke down into tears, because you never see Conan or anyone on that show cry. Now I'm depressed because Andy's gone. Oh well. Nuts to that.Chad: I made 25 bucks today. But I really don't care, because today is Andy's last day on Conan. They shouldn't try to replace him. Conan and Max could do the show by themselves probably, but they can't replace Andy. They shouldn't even try. Anyway, there was a basketball game which delayed my already delayed showing of Conan until 2:40 AM. Slush was online earlier, but suddenly he disappeared. Weird. Oh, and I got a bunch of pictures of Diddy Kong Racing characters. Now I have 13 minutes to find a blank tape to record Late Night on. So, ah, got to go. Or something. 05/27/00Slush: Saturday. The day of relaxation and sleep. Today Chad swiped some Banjo-Tooie screenshots from Nintendo Pokemon Propaganda. I liked them. He liked them. Ernest Borgnine liked them. Our Friend was humping his vinyl dolls, but I suppose that meant he liked them.Chad: Well, today we posted some new shots and a new render, ripped straight out of a magazine. Heh heh. Oh, and we discussed some stuff that we'll be doing on the site in the future. I watched my Late Night tape seven times today, and I've got the Andy song stuck in my head. There's only one Andy Richter out there... he sits next to my desk in a big, comfy chair. Andy Richter, you will be missed, when we heard you were leaving we were f-cking pissed...05/28/00Slush: Wow! We updated with CRAP tonight! Well, I guess it was one of our better efforts tonight, but that's not saying much! Why do I always put down the site I work for and helped create and love so much in Accounts? I know! Because there's nothing else to talk about.Chad: Hah. Tonight Slush and I looked around eBay for all these cool DKU auctions. I've got threehundred bucks and a summer without games! I have to buy SOMETHING. And that something is worthless crap.05/29/00Slush: It's Memorial Day. Too bad the weather sucked here all day. I stayed inside and played DK64 a lot. I like that game. I also watched a few Rocky movies on TBS and "riffed" them ala MST3K. That was pretty fun. It also showed how pathetic my life is. But I blame the weather.Chad: Slush registered on eBay today. Then he tried to bid for an item, but kept getting outbid immediately. It's insane. Literally. Oh, I watched the Dinosaur Planet movie several dozen times tonight, and I discovered that you can indeed go on the race levels, as seen in the one picture of Sabre and Tricky with the glowing green eyes in a tree. The level's too linear NOT to be a race. Oooooooh, yeah. Ack, Conan's coming on. 05/30/00Slush: Hahaha, oh man. Last night on Conan he had the most hillarious guest. He's on Norm on ABC (his name is Artie something...he was on MAD TV during it's first two years). Anyway, he talked about masturbating to Sports Center and how he was no homo....oh, I can't do it justice. Part of the fun of that show is seeing the look of horror on Conan's face when the guest begins to talk about something inappropriate.Chad: YAAAAUUUUUUUGHHNNN!!! Tired. Conan. Slush tell you day.05/31/00Slush: It's the last day of May. Meaning I have to type all these Accounts I wrote by hand tomorrow. OH MAN, that sucks. Better make it easier on myself by cutting out now.Chad: Hey, hey. Tomorrow is our guaranteed-to-have-an-update day! Whoo! We don't have to think of what stupid stuff to update on, like the Drone List. Heh heh. Oh, I won a Donkey Kong Country POG game on eBay! WHOO! I also won a five-pack of the DK Hot Wheels-type cars. Hah, I think I may have inadvertantly addicted Slush to eBay. He was heard to say "WOW! I can waste my money online....FOR FREE!" Cough. |
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