I'm a serial reapist!
"Hello there, soul-buckets! It's me, Helmost the Dreadfully Evil, here to usher you across the River Styx of content overload into the Underworld of E3 2012 coverage. That's a metaphor, mind, but if you want to get literal I'm ALL FOR IT. As DK Vine's whimsical E3 mascot, I've taken a break from my busy schedule of devouring the souls of unbaptized infants to help you find everything you're looking for. If its not on this page, you probably made it up in a narcotics-induced fugue state. Or some drug-free psychosis if you're a total pussy. (Helmost the Dreadfully Evil says YES to drugs!)
"So pull up a chair and start clickin'! Maybe some liveblogs strike your fancy? P'raps you want to discuss this amazing E3 with the still-souled members of the DK Vine Forum? Maybe you just want to find a news aggregate of all the site's coverage? I, Helmost the Dreadfully Evil care not what you decide, so long as a decision is made.
"So CHOOSE, mere mortal, and see if Helmost the Dreadfully Evil has done ya proud."