Pointing the Finger


This is all your fault.

You know what I'm talking about. It's been over eight - eight- months since Rare left the Nintendo scene behind and hopped on Microsoft's money train. Up and down the message boards and the fansites and everything else, I'm still seeing hate, loathing, and spite to poor poor Rare (along with some poor fools who know of absolutely nothing that happened and have obviously been living under rocks). Fans are roaring in anger, casting away any Rare-related video games they might've owned and bashing them to hell, so blinded by rage. I look on this scene, and I feel shame. And pity. For among all of this, I come to a conclusion that builds up even more as I look back on the many years since Rare and Nintendo's parternship began. And this conclusion is: you people made this happen.

Since before the N64 launched, Rare has been spat on and cast into the sewer by Nintendo fanboys numerous times. Oh sure, everyone liked DKC and DKC2 (or did, you'll be hard-pressed to find someone admitting it now), but DKC3? Ha. Released in the shadow of Mario's 3D arse, this excellent game was shat on as quickly as possible to keep it out of the limelight. Around this time, the gaming throngs began to take up pitchforks to Nintendo and the massive move-over to Sony went underway. Time passes, and oh, look! Rare releases Goldeneye, one of the best FPS games in years. People cheer, buy systems, Rare gets praised, Nintendo makes money, everyones' happy. Not for long.

Banjo-Kazooie comes along, and people once again roar in anquish. What does Rare think they're doing, making another platformer? They can't do that! We don't NEED another platformer! Super Mario 64 can never be topped! This is just a clone!

Ah, yes, the wretched C word. I swear, if I do nothing else during my time on this earth, I'm going to dispel that wretched word in accordance to video games once and for fucking all. Begun with B-K, and continues to be used even now, with any, ANY game that's even slightly similar to a Miyamoto or EAD game. It's madness. A truly great game, hampered by paranoia and brand name loyalty. Yes, I know, the "Miyamoto is God" argument has been beaten into the ground, but how else do you explain it? Banjo-Kazooie was an awesome game, there was no reason for people to shit on it as bad as they did. Strike one.

A year later, Donkey Kong 64 comes out. Ah yes, this is the fickle one. It can be argued that it wasn't as good a game as B-K or SM64. The Vine in it's infancy was all over the game, and while things have mellowed down, it's my assumption that the staff here have fond memories of the game. (I know I do.) Some people didn't, however, and made that quite known. You know who you are. The game did well, but even today, isn't fondly remembered by Nintendo fans. And you know what? This game was a FLUKE. A bump in the road, something that screwed up for some unseen reason. Compare the quality of Rare games before DK64, and compare the quality of Rare games after DK64. It's a singular blip. What pisses me off so much is how people hold this game up like it's the embodiment of Satan, and that this game automactically removes any credibility or enjoyability of the ENTIRE Donkey Kong series. What the bloody fuck? Strike two.

A year later again, and people's mouths are watering. Perfect Dark is coming, and with it comes Banjo-Tooie. I'll admit it, I'm not too fond of B-T anymore. But that's not the point: the point is, B-T and PD come out, and what happens? Hate hate hate. Oh sure, Perfect Dark was liked for awhile. But so was Diddy Kong Racing. You see anyone openly saying they like that anymore, except here? Nope. (In fact, I read such a statement on a GameFAQs message board, mixed in with various other verbal bashings of the game, but this particular one took the cake: Diddy Kong Racing is, apparently, the N64's SFA. You didn't hear it from me.) Such was the case of PD. And need I even MENTION the whole Disney fiasco? Strike three.

This is when people's biggest complaint with Rare steps in: their space of time between games. Oh, big fucking deal, SFA didn't come out until almost 2 years after Conker. (Which is an even bigger testament to all this: this CRIMINALLY good game barely got ANY advertisement at all, to the point where the sales suffered horribly for it. The commercial didn't even have any game footage, for christ's sakes! As a result, people pass off the game as a raunchy crapfest, instead of what it is: a brilliant piece of silicon and plastic, unparalleled by all except maybe DKC2 and some other games that I don't care to list. Thanks alot, Nintendo.) It's not like it always happened before - Rare released 10 games during the N64's lifespan, and that's not counting the GB games. They were simply getting used to a new console, which now has gone completely to waste thanks to you people. Which brings me to my biggest argument...

I'm going to make a bold statement, right here, right now. And I'm going to back that statement up till the day I die: if Starfox Adventures had remained as Dinosaur Planet, Rare would still be with Nintendo. I'm serious. Here you have one of your games, it's turning into a mighty fine piece of work, you've got the Rare fans and the DKU buffs salivating over it, and then in comes Pimp Daddy Miyamoto with his god damn hippy fanboys and demands that the game be completely redone with his characters as the stars. Your original idea is cast aside, and propped up to make it more mainstream. This, I feel, had to be the last straw. Oh sure, you're gonna bring up comparisons to DKC. There IS no comparison. Then, Nintendo gave Rare the license to craft an entirely new game around, and to do what they want with it. Now, Nintendo made Rare take one of their games in progress, shift it over to a new console, put Miyamoto's characters in it, and slowly but surely erase any idea that there was a completely different game before it.

And even THEN the fans were quick with their torches. People roared at Rare, the nerve of them blashempising one of the best franchises Nintendo ever made by turning it into some Zelda clone! They have no right! They need to stop stealing Nintendo's ideas and make their OWN games!

*sigh* Many of these people likely never heard of the original Dinosaur Planet, as was Nintendo's intent, I don't doubt. So, finally, tensions snapped, Rare gave Nintendo a good "Fuck You", and hopped over to the highest bidder, now completely ignornat to the wails and death threats that followed from the bowels of Nintendo fandom.

Rare, I hope you have a good time working on the X-Box. I, unfortunately, won't be able to follow you: yet. I hope Microsoft and it's fans treat you well: whatever they do, it has to be better than us.



A bout of rage by Sean.