Never Trust Grinning Barrels


I've started playing Donkey Kong Country 3 at last, and it has been during this time that I've noticed that things are slightly different. I've got an oversised toddler for a companion, bees now have exhaust pipes and razor blades on their backs, for some strange reason, and edible birds are surviving peacefully. But this is all nothing when compared to the army of strange grinning barrels that seem to plague the Northern Kremisphere. I hate them. I hate them oh-so-much. So it is here that I shall both tell you to be wary of them, and vent my anger:

Knocka
NOCK-ah
Knocka, I hate you
You heave, push, waving your arms
Break you, on a wall.

Knocka is a green barrel that can be found pretty much anywhere. While it is a simple looking barrel, it sprouts arms and legs and relentlessly chases after you. While a mere one poses no real threat (merely jump on one and throw it like a normal barrel to dispose of it), they are dangerous when they hunt in packs. Be extremely wary of Knocka, as it may strike you when you least expect it. The seemingly harmless comical waving arms are also extremely dangerous, as they can cause you to laugh in disbelief that anything could have arms more elastic than Lanky Kong.

Klasp
KLASP
Klasp, full of hatred
Burning with evil intent
BOOM! Die on a rope.

Klasp is a seemingly-innocent looking orange barrel with hands hanging on a rope. But its innocence soon disappears when you realise that painted in bold white letters on its barrel are the words "TNT". A deadly foe, Klasp will chase you until you run out of energy or rope, and once it manages to catch you, it carries out its suicidal mission of destroying itself (and you in the process). Klasp seems to be plentiful everywhere, but watch out for them in cramped areas, because there's always more than one lurking around...

Kuchuka
Ku-CHUCK-ah
Damn purple barrel
Throwing endless bombs at me
Why won't you explode?!

Lurking deep within the Cave levels of DKC3, Kuchuka will remain stationary when you encounter them. However, this doesn't mean they pose no threat. This purple barrel of doom will constantly barrage you with its endless supply of highly explosive bombs. Sometimes it will merely throw one, but other times multiple bombs will grace the air with a single throw. Although Kuchuka may seem like a pushover, be wary, as the barrel itself cannot be picked up, in effect making it invunerable. Damn, I hate Kuchuka.

So, take heed of my warning. For, although these three enemies may look like cheery, brightly coloured objects for holding various items in, they are indeed sinister creatures, and it would not surprise me if they were the spawn of Satan himself.

Beware. Beware!


Aussie Ben makes sure his face is always positioned correctly.