Donkey Konga Bitch Festival - (Satanic) Imagery Slam!

To celebrate the release of Donkey Konga, we asked our readers to send in the best alternate uses for the DK Bongos. There would even be prizes... the grand-prize winner gets a free three-month starter set for Xbox Live (in order to prepare for a real game... Conker Live & Reloaded), and three runner-ups would get a free Nintendo JELLY POP (vegetarians can rejoice, as it's gelatin-free but full of fruity pectin!). So, we got some entries... and then we really lost interest in the damn thing.

However, in the spirit of Halloween, we figured it was time to unveil these monstrosities and finally send off the rewards to the winners. So crawl into your bed, grab a flashlight, and bury yourself under these sheets. It's time for the Donkey Konga Bitch Festival - (Satanic) Imagery Slam!


On the Mark of the Beast Scale, this image gets...

...a 6! Fleur is tossed into the festering pit of despair.

The Joker

On the Mark of the Beast Scale, this image gets...

...a 6! The Joker is cast into the River Styx and becomes Ghostbuster-prey.

Monkey Mischief

On the Mark of the Beast Scale, this image gets...

...a 6! Monkey Mischief, Cerebrus liked it better when Jesus was crucified on the Xbox controller. Run from the Hell Hound! Run!


On the Mark of the Beast Scale, this image gets...

...a 66! Behonkiss sells his soul for an authentic Nintendo jelly pop!

Monkey Mischief's Second Attempt!

On the Mark of the Beast Scale, this image gets...

...a 66! Monkey Mischief will be fed an authentic Nintendo jelly pop... for all of eternity! Ho ho!


On the Mark of the Beast Scale, this image gets...

...a 66! Bendilin will be violently impaled with an authentic Nintendo jelly-pop outside Castle Dracula!


Looks like Nintendo and Namco have done it again! Alone and in their respective games, the DK Bongos and Game Cube Mic were a riot, but prepare for a double dose of musical goodness, folks: Donkey Konga-Raoke has arrived! Combining the bongos and mic into one "super instrument," Donkey Konga-Raoke is a music game unlike any other!

Despite the success of his "Hit Song Parade" (in Donkey Konga 2) our favorite barrel-throwing, princess-snatching simian is not content. Feeling his act could use a little more oomph, he has enlisted the aid of his pal Jigglypuff and her melodic vocals. Will their combined efforts be enough to land them a gig at Princess Peach Stadium?

Donkey Konga-Raoke makes innovative use of both the innovative DK Bongos and the innovative Game Cube Mic to put an innovative twist on controlling this innnovative new game. (Did we mention that it's innovative?) While one player sets the Bongo-Mic combiation on their lap, another kneels before them and puts her lips to the mic. This innovative control setup allows for hours of fun for 2-8 players simultaneously!

Gamers in Japan have been enjoying Donkey Konga-Raoke since January, so it should be making it's way stateside by Christmas 2006.

Donkey Konga-Raoke. Is the rhythm in your mouth?

On the Mark of the Beast Scale, these devilish imagery tale gets...


And there you have it! All those who participated go to Hell. Your prizes will be mailed out within two to three weeks. If you forgot to send your address, just go ahead and private message it to Slush or Aussie Ben on the Forum.

Note: The images above do not neccesarily reflect the views of the pro-humor Donkey Kong Universe. Hail Satan!