Donkey Konga Bitch Festival - Poetry Slam!


To celebrate the release of Donkey Konga, we asked our readers to send in their best DKa-inspired poetry, with the only rules being that they must be Haiku or Limericks (but we'll let it slide if you didn't do so), and that the word "ABORTION" must be included at some point. Those deemed HOT would receive a free e-Reader Air Hockey-e card in the mail, and those deemed NOT would be laughed at.

Well, we got some in. If you were one of the authors, was your poem HOT or NOT? Read on, because it's time for the Donkey Konga Bitch Festival - POETRY SLAM, presented in no particular order.



Bendilin writes...

"The hell are you doing?" asked Funky.
Diddy said, "Bringing these beer barrels to Donkey.
Ever since this new abortion of a game,
Has turned his pride into nothing but shame,
He needs to be plastered to face each day."



HOT OR NOT? THIS POEM IS SURELY...

...HOT!




Zinggy writes...

More DK music
Should be in the abortion
but is not given

HOT OR NOT? THIS POEM IS SURELY...

...HOT!




Glancy writes...

Donkey Konga was once a game,
It was also extremely lame,
It felt like an abortion,
At least for a portion,
It was the child of Sadam Hussein.

HOT OR NOT? THIS POEM IS SURELY...

...HOT!




Fleur writes...

Murder by bongo
Japan Magic Abortion
A gang-raped franchise

HOT OR NOT? THIS POEM IS SURELY...

...HOT!




The Joker writes...

There was a game with drums
Of which you could play with chums
Oh, DK's misfortune
To star in this abortion
Send this piece of crap to the SLUMS!

HOT OR NOT? THIS POEM IS SURELY...

...HOT!




Enter The Kiwi writes...

Bongos fill the room;
Japanese children, hypnotized slaves;
To the abortion known as Konga.


HOT OR NOT? THIS POEM IS SURELY...

...HOT!




TheCube writes...

One phrase comes to mind:
Pro-abortion poster kid.
That's Donkey Konga

HOT OR NOT? THIS POEM IS SURELY...

...HOT!




Zinger 2 writes...

Oh dear Donkey Konga,
That pun sounds so wronga,
Like an abortion without sleeping gas,
Namco is only out to make some quick cash,
You'll leave me with an ugly rash.

HOT OR NOT? THIS POEM IS SURELY...

...HOT!




Chiphead writes...

Donkey Konga is
Like an abortion in that
It kills unborn kids

HOT OR NOT? THIS POEM IS SURELY...

...HOT!




HappyBob writes...

My blood flows freely
My life, but an abortion
Of Konga standards


Also, you're fired if you don't print this.

HOT OR NOT? THIS POEM IS SURELY...

...HOT!




OCRE writes...

Donkey Konga sucks
Give us a true DK game
Fucking bongo drum

I know I didn't follow rule 2, but I thought it would be pretty lame if all of the entries contained the word 'abortion', so I didn't take the rule seriously. Cheers.

HOT OR NOT? THIS POEM IS SURELY...

...HOT!




Captain Drake writes...

There was a new game from Nintendo
It featured some apes and a bongo
It was an abortion
Of abnormal proportion
And it looks like it's totally neato

HOT OR NOT? THIS POEM IS SURELY...

...HOT!




assface writes...

There once was a man from japan
who drank paint striaght out of a can
he thought of a game that would surely be lame
and created this damn abortion

HOT OR NOT? THIS POEM IS SURELY...

...HOT!




And there you have it! A giant PAN PAN to everyone who participated. Your e-Reader cards will be mailed out within two to three weeks. If you forgot to send your address, just go ahead and private message it to Slush or Aussie Ben on the Forum.

Note: The poems above do not neccesarily reflect the views of the pro-choice Donkey Kong Universe. Deal with it, Jesus.