My Donkey Kong 64 Reservation Experience
The DK64 Season Has Begun
12:34 PM EST:
A call rings from a person I know that works at my local "Toys 'R Us". Their manager has finally decided to start letting people reserve the game. I rush into the store.
1:00 PM EST:
I arrive, and race towards the video game section to get my slip. I feel several folk running behind me. They all want the same thing, I know. There are hundreds of them, all swarming with disease. I must be the one with the DK64 ticket. I must. I'm about five feet from the video game section. Everything goes slow-mo. I feel my legs turn to jelly. I'm almost there....
1:01 PM EST:
I'm there, I'm there! But oh no! I'm distracted by a Mario Golf "test station". I must resist to play.......but I can't! I begin to play! The hundreds of people behind me suddenly pass by. I realize my goal but it's too late. Suddenly I see them all.....a six year old and his mom. They are apparently after a Sesame Street game. I breathe a sigh of relief. Then I realize that I'm playing as Plum, and she blows. So I grab my ticket and kiss it. The mom sees me doing that and grabs her child, running towards the church in agony. I laugh maniacally and push a toddler out of my way towards the checkout.
1:02 PM EST:
I arrive at the checkout. I slap my ticket down and grin in glory. I then realize that the man behind the counter has a nose full of rings. I nearly gag when I see lovely red snot pouring out of one hole, but I remember the glory that is DK and continue with my purchase. He asks me for my 10 buck laydown. I gasp in horror, but then realize that I DID bring 10 dollars in my pocket. I fish it out, hands shaking in terror for the fear that I may have dropped it during my slo-mo run. I find 8 dollars in ones. Scared down to my skivvies that I may be short by 2, I scramble frantically in my pants with my hands searching for money. The mother sees me again and shrieks for the Lord to save my soul. I laugh maniacally, and then find 20 dimes tucked down in there. I slap those suckas down, and my purchase is complete.
1:03 PM EST:
I am now outside of the store. I hold my reserve ticked up high into the sunlight. It's glorious. Knowing that I WILL have DK64 this November makes me understand all the complexities of the universe.....I now know the purpose of life! OH YES! Then it started to rain and my ticket got soaked. I covered it and it was fine and dandy. I then had to urinate, so I decided my next stop would be home. But that adventure must be saved for another Feature, another day.
Written by Slush