Top Ten DKU Fearbringers 5
Trekking down to the Euphamism

Yep, arriving fashionably late, comes the fifth DKU Fearbringers list. This year, very little in the way of fright happened in DKU games, so the list mainly represents how a year has deteriorated our old listings. Some things that were mainly filler have been dropped, with some spook-mongerers bumped a bit higher up on the list. So with that in mind, we present the 2003 listing of the Top Ten DKU Fearbringers:

Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour
Princess Peach
Disturbingly small shorts

Every pedophile's wet dream Coming in as sort of a surprise at number ten is Princess Peach's disturbing mode of dress from MG:TT. Some may disagree, but really, isn't the rampant sexualization of Nintendo characters one of the spookiest fucking things you've ever heard? Even worse, Daisy also gets the whore treatment, with her uber-tight shorts providing masturbtion material for many ten-year-olds across the planet. And if you'll remember, in the manual, Peach invites you for some "18 play". Ugh.

Mad Monster Mansion
Satan Church

Ever gotten Grabbed by the Ghoulies in chruch? This one's moved up a bit from years past, a trend common on this list. Even though it's down near the bottom, the Satan Church is still one of the more aesthetically creepy areas of the DKU. You suddenly go from a dark-yet-cutesy, day-glow world of the Mansion, to a tiny little church, with haunting organ music and ghosts being all the company you have. It's really out of place, and I suppose that's why it's so regarded.

Donkey Kong Country 2
Gloomy Gulch
Haunted Hall

A LIBRARY, for god's sake! Gloomy Gulch was the darkest area of the already dark DKC2. Most of its levels were amazingly spooky. But this one takes the cake by far. The frantic music, short time limit, and ever looming Kackle makes for a madcap race definate to get your adrenaline pumping. I've always thought it amazing they made such a rediculous concept so frentic. A skeleton ghost is chasing two monkeys on a roller coaster... in a LIBRARY! Kudos to Rare for turning that into a workable concept.

Star Fox Adventures
Krazoa Palace
Test of Fear

Trust me, Fox always provides a test of fear, particularly during Sunday Night programming Dropping considerably from last year, the Test of Fear is still pretty freaky. From the beginning, with the faint whispers of "Test of... fear...", to the quickening pace of the bar as Fox's paranoia sets in, this one manages to somehow be spooky, even though it wasn't trying. It's one of the few saving graces the game offers

Conker's Bad Fur Day
The Hive
The Hole

Freaky This one's pretty random. You're going along, and the suddenly OMIFUCKINGGODWHATHE HELLWASTHAT! Gives me a heart attack every time.

Donkey Kong 64
Creepy Castle
The Crypt

You know, the Cryptkeeper doesn't get enough billing these days This is an oddity indeed. A common theme among the Fearbringers is the element of surprise and randomness. This is a perfect example. DK64 was all day-glo... then you arrive here. It's a pretty creepy ordeal, entering inside, especially if you're playing at four in the morning. And really... would you want to enter a crypt after dark? Brr....

Star Fox Adventures
Dragon Rock

Lava, Lava, all around, so let's all have a drink Drakor was one of the best bosses in any Rare game ever. With a hell of a lot of adittude, he was definately the defining battle of the game (Not counting the epic struggle versus General Scales). Very, very spooky. Ayep. Onward, then!

Donkey Kong Country
Monkey Mines
Stop n Go Station

Rock, around the Krock tonight... The former champion has had a bit of a reverie this year. Yep, not even the cheesy sound effect and brightness of the recent GBA port can completely taint this level. This is definately one of the more memorable moment of every DKU gamer's childhood: Being afraid to go to bed, out of fear of "Those alligators from that monkey game". And even now, that most of us are older, any flicker of movement in the dark throws us back to memories of that level... definately a defining moment in all our lives.

Conker's Bad Fur Day
It's War
Sole Survivor

Lord Harry should be on this list. It really should Sole Survivor. This is one of the areas that cements CBFD as one the few amazingly aesthetic N64 games out there. Everything about this level makes you feel like you really are infiltrating an enemy base. Not that I know what it's like to sneak around a building at night. No sir.

Conker's Bad Fur Day
Mr. Death

I don't care what you think, Michael Jackson is scarier than any zombie Expectedly, this one takes top billing for the third consecuitive year, and will likely stay here until the end of time. Okay, it may get bumped if Ghoulies gets a DKU confirm, or there's a Conker sequel. But until then, it's the spookiest experience you'll get in the DKU. It may not stick with you all throughout your life like Stop n Go station, but I'll be damned if you don't have trouble sleeping the night after you reach here.