What the HELL?


You know how sometimes you see or do something extraordinary, and just walk past it as if nothing had happened, and then a few minutes later, it hits you like a ton of bricks, and you're in complete disbelief? Well, my friends, that's just happened to me. I decided to strengthen my faith in the DKU (after the apathetic rejection of Slush and my feature, I was questioning why I even worked on this site), and I was brought to my Star Fox Adventures folder. The sub-folder listed "mp3" that I had created in April of 2000 was still there. I decided to take the Nintendo 64 Dinosaur Planet MP3s for a little spin. And do you know what I realized?

They f-cked Dinosaur Planet in the ass.

I was acceptant of Star Fox Adventures. I even praised it on several occasions. It was the first actual piece of GCN software I had ever seen, on the morning of May 16, 2001. I was in awe. But listening to these songs, after things have died down, I can't help but feel that we all are missing out on something wonderful.

Sabre, Krystal, Randorn, General Scales, Tricky, and Kyte. This sextuplet added up to one of the most convoluted, creative game storylines I had ever read about, and we barely knew a thing. I, for one, am disappointed beyond belief that I won't get to experience the game that I'm listening to this very minute.

Dinosaur Planet was a HUGE loss for us, as writers for the site, because it had something that we had yet to see in the games we've covered. It had mystique. The ambience and atmosphere is hugely apparent just by the seven MP3s we were given. It was a serious game. It was the pinnacle of all the R&D, trial and error, and previous games created for the Nintendo 64 by Rare Ltd. Not to name any names...It was something unlike anything we had ever seen, borrowing all the best and combining it to form one potentially perfect game.

I'm not going to try to comprehend what happened to Dinosaur Planet. Rare seemed pretty excited about it when they unveiled it last year. Nintendo must have known it was going to be huge. I won't try to claim to know what happened, but I'll just let you know that I don't believe the politically correct drivel on Rare's FAQ page for a second. Nintendo was also developing an RPG using the Star Fox characters, and the two companies decided to combine the concepts? Bullsh-t. Anyway, for some reason, we're left with a game involving a frog named Slippy. Hark, can you hear that? Yes, that's the mysterious appeal of Dinosaur Planet steadily gushing down the drain.

Granted, sales of Nintendo 64 software were dramatically down when the game would have been released, but a port to GCN would have been acceptable. They could have kept the feel of the game intact and had it out for launch. But to add Star Fox characters for no other reason other than to halt the creation of a new series, and bring a preexisting series to a place it should never go? That's just unacceptable.

I'll buy Star Fox Adventures with the launch of the system, play it through, and probably enjoy it. But I'll never be able to shake the feeling that I missed out on something more.


An observation by Chad McCanna