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George's Biography
Species: Chinker
George was a Chinker who just happened to be married to another Chinker named
Wheezie, erm...Mildred. George lived with Mildred on the Ice Side of
Hailfire Peaks. They most certainly couldn't live on the Lava Side, as they
would both melt quicker than Frosty the Snowman in the section of Florida
where Jeb Bush hid the rest of the ballots. Fortunately, that isn't how this
biography ends.
George and Mildred were taking a walk one fine day when a blizzard started up
and blew George all the way to Cloud Cuckooland. Thankfully by God's divine
grace, he managed a safe landing on a ledge overlooking the Isle o' Hags.
There he waited until Banjo and Kazooie appeared, nearing the end of their
adventure to defeat Gruntilda and her evil sisters. Since he was still weak
from the whole ordeal, George asked for a small push off of the ledge (while
his back was turned to what was below him, he could only assume that he was
above the Ice Side of Hailfire Peaks, since that's where he was when he was
blown away). Kazooie gave him a beak barge, and George fell all the way
down...to the Lava Side, where he melted away in a pool of scalding hot
water. Presumably Death showed up to charter his soul away.
Why are you looking at me like that? I said that the both of them wouldn't
melt! Only George perished that way! Mildred was simply shattered into a
million pieces.
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