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E3 2000 Banjo-Tooie Swamp Of News
(In Text Form, Not Liquid)
While the staff at the Vine couldn't make E3 2000, one of our brainwashed readers did, and he gave us several sprockets of news and info on Banjo-Tooie that other sites never bothered to report on. Keep in mind though, that this is chock full of spoilers, and if you want all of this to be a surprise the day you get B-T, then just sidestep this page and go check out our Not a Cock-and-Bull Story Feature.
Now, everyone who doesn't want to read this should be gone. Let's begin....
-Sad (but really, is it?) but true, Bottles is no more. He gets charred to death in the intro.
-You no longer collect Mumbo Tokens to get Mumbo to use his magic. You collect Glowbos (if this was Conker's Bad Fur Day they would probably be called Blowgos). They look like Gizmo from the movie Gremlins, and more recently Furbie.
-Like in The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (yes, I played Zelda...shocked that more games go in my consoles than the DKU series?), each boss has a "title." The totem pole Targitzian is called the "Semi-Important God of Target Shooting." God? Great, another entry in my religion Feature...
-Since Bottles is stiffer than Bob Dole, you get your info from question mark signs. You simply go up to a sign and press B.
-Swimming seems to be easier now when you press and hold A and B together when Banjo and Kazooie are teamed up.
-The Twinklies are back, and this time they're in a mini-game with bumper cars. Spiffy!
-Mumbo's new huts are double storied. Talk about effort, Rare!
-Soggy Bear, Moggy Bear, and Groggy Bear are back! And as it turns out, Boggy isn't raising the kids alone (he's still a deadbeat dad though). His wife is revealed in this game. Apparently, Mrs. Bear took her three kids to Witchyworld (Gruntilda's Theme Park, apparently stealing an idea from the Kremlings) and lost them (WHAT IS WITH THIS FAMILY? IT'S LIKE THE KIDS HAVE THE PARENTS FROM "HOME ALONE"). You have to find them. Simple. However, Mrs. Bear looks quite like Boggy in drag, so that just may further provide proof that the poor kids need to be placed in a foster home.
-And then there is the kick arse intro. Of course, I haven't watched it, and I don't intend to when the oppurtunity comes up. I'm going to wait and watch it when I get the game. But it sounds awesome. Since I didn't see it directly, I'll let Aussie Ben (who was the one who was kind enough to send this info) describe it in his own words, with me chiming in inside parenthesis:
I'll give you a brief rundown on the intro, but I'll also be nice and
make it white: We see some text: "It has been two years since Banjo
and Kazooie defeated the witch Gruntilda..(how accurate!)" Bottles, Banjo, Kazooie and
Mumbo are playing poker at Banjo's house. Outside we see
Klungo still trying to push that (censored) boulder to free his
mistress. Back inside, Mumbo is winning, and Kazooie distracts Mumbo to
get his winning hand. There is a loud noise, and we see a machine
drilling into the valley. Mumbo goes out to check what's going on,
because everyone else is too chicken. He sees Klungo trying to free
Gruntilda, and then two hags exit the drilling craft to free their sister. They implode the boulder covering Gruntilda, and she gets out of the hole (I guess Klungo isn't very talented using the black magic). She is literally a
walking skeleton (because of the fact that she had to use the evil black magic to stay alive without food or water for two years, it totally wrecked her body ala Palpatine in Star Wars). The three hags are
about to go back to the Isle o' Hags to cure Gruntilda, but they see
Mumbo. Grunty gives chase, and Mumbo makes it back to the house. He
warns everyone that Grunty is back, and everyone except Bottles makes a
dash for the door because Bottles thinks it's a trick from Kazooie to steal his
money. They make it outside just in time to see a huge explosion, and
Gruntilda running off with her sisters. The sisters send out some
cronies to guard the place. We see Bottles come out of the house,
charcoal black. He collapses to the ground dead. Yes, DEAD . Kazooie
comments "Oh well, he was the least liked character in the first game
anyway (just like the episode of Seinfield when George's finance Susan dies...as cold as can be...but funny!)." That's all I can remember. Aren't I evil.
Thanks to Ben "Obi-Wan" Kosimina for this info, chocked full of nuts (and spoilers).
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