Picture the scene: Creepy Big-Face (or "Pauline" as she's sometimes known) is giving away free equally-creepy dolls of herself, much to the delight of a hundred brain-washed Toads. "Sounds perfectly plausible" you say. And it's only natural that Donkey Kong would want in on that action, right? "So what?" Well, have you considered this: what if Creepy Big-Face ran out of dolls at the very moment Donkey Kong arrived to collect his? "Oh my god, I'm not sure I can quite comprehend the horrendous gravity of that scenario!" Too DAMN RIGHT you can't! And I'll bet you can never guess what this game involves, can you? "Well, I'm no expert, but I don't suppose it would have anything to do with miniature wind-up Marios wandering about the place--for reasons that aren't likely to be made in any way clear at any point--while Donkey Kong sits patiently waiting to have things thrown at his head?"

My imaginary counterpart is a perceptive fellow! Indeed, Mario Vs. Donkey Kong: Mini-Land Mayhem forces our philosophically-geared minds to ponder those deeper questions of life. Specifically, "what the hell is THIS SHIT?"

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