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Chad's Conker's Bad Fur Day Review
I'm really trying hard not to be biased in my reviews. But damnit, these are the best graphics I've ever seen on the Nintendo 64, bar-none. Actually, I think that's closer to truth than bias anyway.  The textures are extremely detailed and varied. I was in awe that they made an entire room's textures move (during the Chucky Poo fight). And the animation - oh, the animation - we all know what this game moves like. Everything is fluid, realistic, and creative. Conker and the Panther King actually look like they're speaking their lines. Most of the side-characters move their mouths open and closed to voice their lines. It's not nearly as detailed as Conker, but at least it's in synch with the speech - something that's yet to be done convincingly on a Nintendo system anyway. Conker's shadow is done well too. It's a bit tricky jumping when you don't have a perfect oval beneath you at all times, but you get used to it, and the realism hugely benefits. I'd assume when next-gen games come out with orthoscopic goggles (and believe me, they will), this type of problem will be averted completely. My only real complaint is that Conker's gloves grow and lose individual fingers quite frequently, and this is a bit distracting. All things considered, these graphics are in a different league than the rest on Ninendo 64 - just in the nick of time.
9.9
Honestly, now, I'm having trouble saying bad things about this game. For a fifteen hour game, the Rare sound technicians somehow found dozens of opportunities for original songs. Each one fits the scenario perfectly, and never becomes distracting. Moreover, I nearly shitted myself when I went to Batula's garden and there was nothing more than wind, wolves howling, and babies crying. Really breathtaking, as far as MIDI work is concerned. And as for the sound effects, I had no idea Mpeg Layer 3 compression could be taken so far. There must be hours of speech on the miniscule 64-bit cartridge. In fact, one of the funniest aspects of the speech is what isn't spelt out in text bubbles. After a few of Conker's idle animations, he'll sit down and rock back and forth singing "Bored, bored, la la, bored..." Then he'll stand up, look at the camera, and say things like "Hey... hello? Are you dead? I think they died." and the particular one that had me in stitches, "Don't do that! You'll go blind."
10.0
If there's a single fault to Conker's Bad Fur Day, it has to be the control scheme. Conker takes about two seconds to get running full speed, which can get vastly annoying until you're jaded to it. I played Banjo-Tooie yesterday, and had a hard time keeping track of where Banjo went, having been used to Conker's gradual acceleration. Also, the camera controls are pretty piss-poor (ironically, the camera stays where I so desperately want it in the piss levels). Making jumps and walking on small platforms - particularly in the Bats' Tower - proves formidable due to the camera's often static nature. Most of the mini-games, though, have excellent controls. The two that stand out in my mind as being exceptional are the lava boarding and Vertex stages. Managable controls, but could have been much better.
7.6
Oh, come on. Saying CBFD is original is like saying Paul Reubins flashed people in a movie theater. There so very much more to it than that.  Nothing like Conker's has ever been attempted. Not only do you have the profanity / hilarity aspect going for you, but the thing is loaded with subtle movie references like you wouldn't believe. Man, you'll be floored (and probably a bit confused) when get to the final boss battle. The use of total voice rather than text is also a new concept for Nintendo 64 (but not for the more powerful Dreamcast). Then, on top of all that, you have to fact that CBFD is, in total, one big parody of videogames. The characters constantly break the fourth wall with such comments as "Oh, it's that bloody squirrel, quick, back into character! Rarrgh, Yash-bah, mefff..."
9.9
My opinions? This is the pinnacle of the Nintendo 64 (providing Dino Planet made the hop up to GAMECUBE). Conker's Bad Fur Day is a game I never thought I'd see made for so many reasons. Aside from being an excellent game, it's a shining example that Rare actually listens to its game players (and redesigned the lackluster Twelve Tales). I really can't wait to see what can be done with the inevitable GCN sequel. They got a solid fifteen hours of gameplay out of a cartridge, and on the GCN optical disc, there would be opportunity for a B-T length game, all in this style. That's perhaps my only complaint with CBFD - it ends too quickly. You keep playing, enjoying every minute, and you never know what it is you have until it's gone. Gone. ....gone....
9.9
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