 |
|
 |
| |
Glancy's Conker's Bad Fur Day Review
Oh my giddy aunt. I’m still in shock from the opening movie and I saw that over a month ago. Conker easily shows off the single greatest graphics ever to be seen on the N64. Not only do the characters (get this) move their mouths as they speak. Main characters like Conker and the Panther King have fully lip-synched speech, while minor characters like Franky or Birdy just open their mouths wildly on cue to the speech, but often don’t match up word-for-word. This is understandable but looks strange on some characters *cough* weasel’s *cough*. Hang on tight ‘cuz it doesn’t stop there, Conker also interacts with the environment! While chasing money around he’ll have his arms out stretched trying to catch it, while walking on a small platform he’ll be wobbling around with his arms stretched out at his sides trying to prevent himself from falling, if Conker’s stands near something nasty he’ll throw up all over the ground. The list goes on and on. Wait! There’s more! Side characters like the Sun Flower will point to her breasts inviting you for a ‘bounce’ and the Fire Imps will flip, say something like "Look it’s the furry guy!" then sneak up behind you. It’s insane.
I have one problem with the graphics though. Instead of having a little circle underneath the character while jumping, you get a full shadow that will travel wherever the hell it wants depending where there’s some light. While it will be slightly annoying to start, with some practice you’ll be jumping across a whole plank in Bat’s Tower no problem. I love it!
10.0
Chortle-gasp! Not only does Conker sport ridiculously good graphics but it also has insanely great sound, in fact the best on the N64 (shut up, it’s better than OoT). Not only does it have FULL SPEAKING but only 2 people did it plus the guy that did Chucky Poo (Chris Marlow I think). Each character’s voice suits the character perfectly will give you sense of what they’re like before you understand just why the heck they’re there. Also, if you let Conker sit for a minute he’ll say stuff like "Bored bored bored. Lalalala deedly deedly" or "How does she do that?" while reading a Beaver Boy magazine or sometimes whistle the song that’s playing if your in Windy (or other places sometimes). Cash will scream stuff like "Hey! There’s money over ‘ere!" or "Somebody get meeee!" Either way it’s brilliantly done.
Music is nothing short of brilliant either. You’ve got the happy cartoon stuff from Windy, the crazy Carnival music of Pisstastic, the creepy classical like stuff of Batula’s, the new age techno thingy of Rock Solid, the Mexican Bull fight song from the cow part, the patriotic war song of War, the sad credits music (sort of like the one in "The Incredible Hulk") and the crazy happy-go-lucky opening song. It’s all wonderfully done. If I had Robin Beanland’s address I’d send him a whole bunch of flowers (not gaily mind).
10.0
If there’s one thing not to like in Conker’s Bad Fur Day it’s the play control. I’ll start out with the basics. A jumps, simple stuff. Hold down A in the air to do the quote "Funny helicoptery tail thing" which is basically like Dixies hair spin in DKC2. Z is crouch or crawl around (which is next too useless until you get to the War portion). My favorite part of the control scheme is the B button. Normally B takes out your frying pan which is hard to hit people with and overall sucky. Don’t worry about that though because the only time it’s necessary is when you have to pick up cheese, cash, sweet corn ect. While on a B pad a light bulb will come on and make this ‘ting’ noise. Then by pressing B Conker will do a move which will always come in handy depending on where you are example: you need to take out some wires. Press B on the pad and you’ll take out throwing knives. Say you need to hit a stiff switch. Press B and you’ll become an anvil. What I like about this is you won’t need to have a full arsenal of moves that you’ll never use (as was the case with Banjo-Tooie). Also, it takes a few seconds to get going at top speed when running which you either love or hate. Personally, I love it.
Camera Controls aren’t bad but could’ve been better. While for the most bit the camera is fine and dandy, although once you reach a portion where you oh so desperately need it the camera will shake and won’t move it to were it needs to go. Also, when you need to bring it lower often it will get stuck on objects and won’t follow you for a while (which proves my theory even more that there’s a little camera guy that follows you). Another thing that’s rather annoying is that you don’t get a first person view of things when you stop to look around. Instead of having a view like in the Banjo games you're stuck with the SM64 view behind the head. It’s not so bad but often you can’t see what’s behind or in front of Conker due to is giant head in the way. I’ve never had a real problem with any of this its just gotten in my way and made things harder.
Decent controls although the camera could be better.
7.7
If you’ve even glanced over my review (or any others) you’ll know just how original it is. The story is brilliantly laid out starting with almost no information of what’s going on. Only at the end will the last piece fall in place and BAM! You see how wonderful the story really is. Speaking of the ending it’s the best I’ve seen. Rather than having a party, or a cake, kicking a skull around, or saving someone the story ends sad, with Conker sitting there miserable, lonely and he learns a lesson too. It was Beautiful. *Fake tear*
*Happy again* Oh yeah! Not only is the text hilarious but the main character actually has an expanded personality rather than just being a ‘Brave Plumber.’ Conker is a rude squirrel that states the obvious and will only do something if cash is involved. Another nice thing about this is that it’s not a look around a level and solve a puzzle for a reward kind of thing. You mostly get to point A, then do something to point B and so on. It works so much better than it sounds. Having full speaking was a new concept to our beloved N64. Nothing like this has ever been attempted and I must say this worked better than I could imagine. It’s not all vulgar too! There’s also some really moving scenes thrown in there that I’ve seen 20 times each (no joke).
I don’t know what Rare’s on to come up with an opera singing turd, but I want some.
9.9
I love this game. I love this game so much I wrote a review for it. This the kind of game I had been waiting for so many years. I now care about Conker and frien- err, other characters. You must get this game immediately, don’t rent it or you’ll insult a game of this much beauty. Aside from being the best game I’ve ever played it shows us that Rare listens to us and redesigned Twelve Tales. C’mon Rare! Replace Fox in Star Fox: Adventures with Tiptup. Don’t be shy, everyone loves Tiptup…
Right, then Rare. We want this series to continue. Keep ‘em coming Rare. You left us with a huge cliffhanger and we want more! This is my favorite game (as I’ve overstated) so I suppose this deserves a big juicy 10! As Carl would say: Fan@#%$tastic!
10.0
|
|
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
