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Arenas



Remember the exhilarating sense of accomplishment you got upon unlocking Super Smash Bros.' only hidden stage, Mushroom Kingdom? Well, be prepared to feel that same sensation, with absolutely none of the benefits of wide-eyed discovery. That's right, the Mushroom Kingdom circa Super Mario Bros. is back, and this time it has one or two melee-riffic additions! There are a few old Mario Bros. baddies that hop around on-screen to play with, as well as those big "?" blocks that release a random item. Are you excited? Please re-instill my faith in humanity, and say no.

Oh baby, YES. Both Chad and Slush's favorite Mario game gets the royal arena treatment, and it's nothing short of mildly amusing. This down-to-the-pixel recreation of Mario's Sub-Con dream world is packed with tons of sickeningly nostalgic... er... nostalgia. As evidenced in this screenshot, Birdo appears to spit out eggs at players that can be picked up, and randomly contain items. There's also one of those annoying waterfall-with-logs things from the first few levels, and Pidget is back on his flying carpet to give players a very limited ride. Next.

ENOUGH WITH THE F-CKING MARIO ALREADY! This is one of EIGHT known Mario-themed arenas in Super Smash Bros. Melee. In this one, loosely based around Super Mario World, players can have fun with diagonal pipes and those creepy yellow blocks with eyes. Honestly. Does HAL even realize how much cooler a pirate ship or bramble themed DKC2 level would have been? Or even a low-gravity battle inside DKC3's poisonous ducting? No, no, I see where they're coming from. Yellow bricks are MUCH more invigorating.

Here's an interesting little ditty that we know nearly nothing about. One of the grand prixs from F-Zero racing was called Big Blue, and this is a horizontal trip down the lanes at break-neck speed. It looks like players fight atop flying cars, trying their best not fall into the speeding road traffic and stamp the pavement with their bloody carcasses. Hey, neat. What's next? Maybe it's a slippery brawl atop Gorilla Glaciers! Oh boy, I can't wait!

Oh well. It's all right. We're used to being repeatedly sh-t on my Nintendo of Japan, right, DKU fans? It's all right, though... the next

BEN, TAKE OVER! PUT NEW ONES BELOW THIS ONE! I NEED SLEEEEEEP! As far as we can tell, this is an airship (sometimes referred to as a doomship) from Super Mario Bros. 3. Either that, or a couple of Kremling ships have discovered how to fly without pulling a JFK Jr. They also may be from a game we're not aware of, like Super Ice Climbers Turbo Championship Edition Pocket.

Here Mario gets all fire-flowery at a location that appears, according to the people on staff that actually follow fecking Pokemon, Ash's house. Whatever. I could think of a million other places better than Ash's house to stage a fight in, such as below. And if you're going to get locations from Pokemon, at least make it that haunted Pokemon tomb building.

This location is most probably Donkey Kong related (finally), as it appears to be a mineshaft from Donkey Kong Country. What, they actually realized there was more to the Kong games than just jungles? Someone give the design team a damn raise! And they didn't even put in a construction site either! Double kudos! Hudson and Camelot, take notes from HAL. Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine with all the chicks? You damn right.

Since the Star Fox mythos will soon play a huge role in the Donkey Kong Universe, we thought we'd first take a look at this Star Fox related arena. If you remember back in the original SSB, Fox McCloud's level took place in an oxygen dome on the Great Fox deep in space (yeah, we must explain why they're able to fight in space). This time around, it seems that you fight on what is either an Arwing or the Great Fox over Corneria. At least we need not come up with another excuse, like an atmosphere tank or a codpiece space suit...

Here, that wacky Mario is fighting a Goomba and Paratrooper in the Mushroom Kingdom. This level seems to mix classic elements of the Mushroom Kingdom (the brick walkways) with the features first seen in the Nintendo 64 era (a castle that is similar to Peach's that popped up in nearly every Mario game for the N64, and in what has to be referred to as one of the coolest things seen so far in SSBM, a golf course). Anyway, from what he hear, this level is one of the platforming stages that each character must complete in single player mode, and that each character has his or her own variation. We can only hope Donkey Kong fights Gnawties and Kritters in a DKC-ish location...

This is another "platforming" level, although this time Link is the hero. You'll recognize the area he's in as Death Mountain, and those zombie-type creatures he's whacking up with his sword are ReDeads. Notice how the game's graphics are specifically geared towards the Zelda series in this level, while they were more cartoony for the Mario games up above. Very nice.

If you're a Donkey Kong fan, you've probably stared at this image the longest. Not only is Donkey showing that pesky Mario who's boss, but he's doing it in a beautiful area of Donkey Kong Island. With the gushing river and the lush vegetation, you almost feel as if you're in a tropical jungle, and we haven't even played the game yet! While you can't see it in this screenshot, there's a house at the far left side of this level that has the same architecture seen in many of the jungle buildings in the DKU, including Donkey's two treehouses.

The Great Bay was a location in Termina in Majora's Mask (the N64 Zelda sequel, if the only games you play and follow are Donkey Kong related). Here, Shiek (or Princess Zelda in disguise) is taking a yoga class of sorts at the Great Bay, which is odd, considering Zelda/Shiek was never in Majora's Mask. Perhaps this is a Link level, and Shiek is merely being used here, with no actual connection to the arena in question.

Hyrule Castle was the arena in Super Smash Bros., and for Super Smash Bros. Melee, it's back again. This is obviously either a Link arena or a Zelda arena. It should be noted though, that the Super Smash Bros. version had green roofs and wasn't really true to the game, while this one looks like it was taken right out of Ocarina of Time and sprayed with extra polygons and textures. Notice Link running with his sword. Somebody really ought to tell him that's dangerous...

Remember the old Nintendo Entertainment System game titled Ice Climbers? No? Well, you're not the only one. The game is so obscure, one has to wonder why HAL has included the Ice Climber characters as fighters in this game, when there was a whole plethora of guys like the puck from Galactic Pinball, or Ted the Boat Builder (even though he's a Rare character) to choose from. Anyhoo, the Ice Climbers are in the game, and so is the mountain that they climb. Ice Climbers. Yeah, whatever.

This is an odd one. There seems to be a trend, from what we've seen, that each character gets two fighting arenas. We've already looked at the lush, wet jungle, but here's another one, set in a tranquil Donkey Kong Island sunset. We're assuming this is another Donkey Kong Island level, because what other characters would have a jungle theme in the game (that we're aware of)? The sunset reminds me of the graphics from Donkey Kong Country, and also from the original Donkey Kong arena in Super Smash Bros.

Monotoli Building is from the Earthbound series. The Earthbound series was never big outside of Japan, only seeing one SNES release and Ness in the original SSB, while in Japan, they've released at least two more. Nevertheless, Ness once again plays a role in the sequel, and we get this spiffy level, complete with spiffy helicopter action.

Outside of the jungle levels, I have a feeling the F-Zero themed arenas will be my favorite. This is apparently Mute City from the F-Zero franchise, and it looks like several characters (including our own Donkey Kong) are caught in the midst of a high speed race. This looks to be very interesting, and very entertaining to boot! The course is made up of a series of platforms over the Mute City racetrack, and flies over the entire course at breakneck speeds. At one point in the track the platforms will stop letting you fight on the road as well, but also making yourself susceptible to being hit by the actual racers (as seen in the pic). Lots of roadkill makes this a track one to be enjoyed by psychos and rednecks alike.

Onett Town is once again from Earthbound, and it's one of the arenas in Super Smash Bros. Melee. It's sort of comical if you think about it. Wouldn't that be a kick in the pants for average suburbia if a talking gorilla, a pink thing from Dream Land, a giant fire-breathing turtle creature, and a bounty hunter from the future all got into it in your front lawn? Haw haw, good times.

Look familiar? From what we can deduce, this is Peach's Castle. Yeah, THAT castle. The one first seen in Super Mario 64. It returned to the delight of many in Mario Kart 64. Then it continued to keep coming back. At one point, they even built a damn tennis court right in front of it. Well, it was a pesky little beotch on the Nintendo 64, and it refuses to stay down on GAMECUBE. At least you get to fight on the top of it. Merely fighting in front of it would have been boring, since we've sene the front so many times. Here's a rhetorical question though: Is only half of the castle present again, such as it was in Super Mario 64? Oh man, that was so pathetic. THE CASTLE JUST CUT OFF! NOTHING BUT BLUE! Don't get me started on this, I could go on for hours...

Planet Zebes was seen in Super Smash Bros., and now the Metriod themed restaurant, er, planet is back again in Super Smsah Bros. Melee. It's apparently darker as well. The acid doesn't come up quite as often as in SSB, but the platforms you fight on are suspended by fragile alien growth - DESTROYABLE fragile alien growth. You can rip apart the suspenders of a platform sending your opponent screaming into the acid below. Just like Ripley.

Pokemon mania is running wild! Wait a minute, no it isn't. Maybe it was a year ago, but do little kids really give a flying monkey sh-t about Pokemon anymore? Perhaps some do, but not as much. Anyway, the Pokemon now have a Pokemon League-licensed (as displayed by the pokeball in the center) stadium to do their little fighting in, instead of that one city in Super Smash Bros. that they fought in Saffron City. Nice touch to put them in a Pokemon stadium though. I've always wanted to see Donkey Kong toss his feces there (and I still say that should be one of his moves).

Well, this is obviously a Kirby level. It's very colorful, 'tain't it? This is Star Rod Fountain, not to be confused with Star Road from the Mario series. To me, it looks like a mixture of Cloud Cuckooland and Rainbow Road. Oh, Rainbow Road. That should have been one of Mario's levels in this game. Wait...maybe it still can be!

You have to love HAL over the other cameo producing companies. When setting forth to make the levels for each character, they painstakingly try to reproduce every last detail from the level in question. This takes Yoshi's Story and simulates the crappy storybook graphic technique. I'm not complaining, actually. It's very cool what they do. They seem to have respect for each individual game series.