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03/10/00
Dear SirSlush,
Long time no write! I still haven't gotten over the millennium mess-up where Nintendo sated it began the year 2000.
First off, this part is in reply to the reply you gave to adam85's letter.
Quote: "Whoa, sorry there. I read "KoKoMo" and slipped into a trippy trance. Well, you certainly had a well thought out idea, but do we really need Ewok lookalikes? No, I didnt' mind the Ewoks in Return of the Jedi, but they opened the floodgates for Jar Jar Binks, and for that they must all die..... "
I hate to tell you this(actually you will probably like it) but, all the ewoks died on Endor after the explosion of the DeathStar 2. What happens when you detonate a spherical metal honeycomb over five hundred miles wide just above the atmosphere of a habitable world? Regardless of specifics, the world won't remain habitable for long.
Visit http://www.theforce.net/swtc/holocaust.html to find out more about the Endor Holocaust.
Second, I don't want to dis your page but to me it sounds like you are taking the DK Universe into your own hands. Especially the TimeVine. You and Chad (I KNOW where you live!) act as if Rare has adopted that as what really happened in their game universe, yet I consider it a work of FanFiction.
Any way keep up the good work, and I still consider your site one of the best DK Sites on the web!
-BobaFettDX
Slush: So then I take it the Ewoks meet a horrible fate after all? Good thing! But there was all this crazy Ewok crap in the 1980's, like a cartoon series and two made for TV movies (which were released in theaters in Europe, I believe). I hate the buggers, except for that darling little baby Ewok that was just so darn cute and huggable...
As for the made up stuff, there has been some behind the scenes discussion on it. It was not our original purpose to take the DKU in our own hands, but some of the stuff had to be explained (like how the Kongs or other animals could talk). But let us say right now that we know it isn't from Rare or anybody else's mouth and therefore isn't official, but it's the closest to DKU "canon" that you'll find. And we're currently negotiating whether or not to cut some of the made up stuff out of some things, like a few bios. Wait and see, and thanks for your vote of confidence.
Guess what? I just remembered that I've got the soundtrack for Super
Donkey Kong (which is what Donkey Kong Country is called in Japan. But
you knew that anyway, right?) so I've been listening to it, and it's
fantastic. It's a real shame that I can't get video game soundtracks
here in Australia :-( otherwise I'd get DKC2 and 3 as well, as they've
all got their own sets of great music. Anyway, what this letter was
originally about (before I decided to start rambling about the Super DK
thing) was, would you like me to scan you the cover and the CD of Super
DK sountrack? I don't mind. Just give me a yell if you do.
-Ben
Slush: Hey, it's Aussie Ben! Yeah, in Japan they call it Super Donkey Kong for some retarded stupid reason. Of course I knew that (unfortunatly). Anyway, that would be a kick to see that Japanese DK soundtrack. Here's your yell: BLAAAAAAGGHHHH!
dear mister king zumbalaya,
did donkie kong ever have a puppy? i told my mommy i wanted a puppy, and she said, "but donkie kong never had a puppy when HE was little". so did he have a puppy cause i'd like to know.
-mary sue
Chad: Sorry, you're out of luck. No puppies on Donkey Kong Island, I'm afraid. Why not ask your mommy for a rhinoceros or 200 pound spider?
I'm suprised guys! I come back after my vacation and I come back to hear,
"And yes, that senile bastard needs to die soon. Then Donkey would rule the
island. Maybe someone will "accidentally" push him out of a tree. Huzzah for
anarchy!".
Cranky Kong oughta' slap you on the head with his cane for saying that you
64-Bit Polygon Lovers!!!! Cranky holds your precious DKU together and plus
what would the guidebooks be without him?
-Little Luigi
Slush: I'm pretty sure Chad said that, because the words "huzzah for anarchy" sound more like a Chad phrase than something I would say. Yeah, Cranky's good and great and everything. I really don't think he should die for at least five more years, but my opinion changes everyday.
Chad: Kill that senile bastard now.
This may sound vey stupid,but,in Gloomy Galleon do you have to do
something extra for Banannaporter 4 on the coin heaps to show up.Every
time I go up there with Diddy,it just looks like all the other
coins.DK's blueprint piece up there is the only one I haven't got.Oh
yeah,I look up to that other girl gamer.She lets me know I'm not the
only one.
-Lisa Nelson
Chad: Woah, another girl gamer? The Internet rules. Lets you meet people that don't exist elsewhere. If my memory serves me, the only way to get the bananaport on top of the coin stack is to leave the coin area and turn left. There should be a plank floating in the water with the corresponding bananaport on. That is probably the hardest blueprint to get, for the simple reason that you don't have much room to attack. Your best bet would be to take out the Coconut Gun and fire a few rounds on his scaly Kremling arse.
Slush: I quote Chad out of context.
Your site used to be really good, but it's taken a downslide recently. I've been reading your character bios, and for the most part they are really good, but some of them stink! Especially ones like Winky and Perry (and most of the animal friend bios). Why did you make up some this crazy bullshit, like Winky getting frozen, or Perry being hatched by some Brother Bear? I can appreciate when you make stuff up that has some fact behind it, but when you just pull bullshit out of nowhere, it decreases the quality of your site in my eyes. I know you have that small disclaimer on the bottom of the site, but I don't care.
-SirNick5
Slush: Huh, another letter on the made up stuff. Yeah, thanks for noticing the disclaimer (even though it's only purpose is to really appease Nintendo and the other corporate entities, because you hear so many horror stories of giant companies shutting down fan sites...it's scary). And I loved the negative tone on your letter! You didn't sugar coat it, you @#$%! As I said before, behind the scenes rumblings are taking place. We're not going to be getting rid of the "made up stuff" anytime...ever, but we can keep the really "out there" stuff to a minimum....because we're all about keeping our angry readers happy, and giving in to their demands so we can keep the hit chart from sinking.
Chad: Hey, I wrote that Winky bio. If you bothered to look at Cranky's DKC2 Monkey Museum, you'll see that the bio is more accurate than you think. Knob.
Hello again Slush,
I recently purchased Mario Golf (N64) and it is fantastic. I was wondering though, since I know that you play golf. Does this game actually improve your golf game? It seems that I can putt easier in real life after I've played this, because I can visualize the greens better. Just wanted to know if the same applies to you.
-Adam128428@aol.com
Slush: I'm glad somebody sent this letter. It's very interesting, because about a month after I purchased Mario Golf (N64), I noticed the very same thing. It's helped me to actually drive the balls further down the fairway than before, because I seem to understand more about hit points and the direction of the wind. Both Mario Golfs are a very good tutorial for the game, and I was playing for years before they were released. Now my game has never been better.
LANKEY ROCKS!!!!!
HE SHOULD BE FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Lanky711
Slush: Lanky's our favorite Kong too. But since this letter was...um....anyway, we present to you this month's Mr. Mooney Award. Ye-us!
"The only radio-broadcast song (because all my favorites are from DKU
games) that I ever remotely liked is called Bittersweet Symphony. I don't
know who plays it or anything"
It's by "The Verve", not to be confused with "The Verve Pipe". I
don't know if you're evenly remotely interested, but I have an MP3 of the
song. It's quite large (5MB) and Hotmail can't handle it. I could find
another way of getting it to you if you want it, though.
-Alex
Chad: Woah, hey. It's time for a little Chad history lesson. Before I met Slush, I was a writer for a widely distributed Simpsons newsletter known as The Flying Hellfish. I wrote Itchy and Scratchy scripts weekly, and totalled about thirty or so. The newsletter lasted for a little over a year, and about the time Futurama came out, sort of dissolved. Anyway, I was one of a few Vice Presidents of the thing, and the very same Alex who wrote this letter was none other than the President. After the newsletter fell apart, I had no idea she regularly read the site. She's not exactly a Donkey Kong fan. So it's very cool that after an entire year, she still reads it. Thanks. Verve Pipe? Hahaha, bands have weird names. And I think I saw a CD Single from the local Warehouse Music, so no need for that MP3. Thanks, though! There need to be more nice people like Alex, and less people who laughed at me because I didn't know who The Verve was.
I dont like the fact that you make up somestuff for your site. It would help better if most stuff was factual. still, great work on the site! Its the best Donkey Kong site on the internet currently! Bye!
-THX1765
Slush: WHAT THE HECK IS THIS? WHO'S BEEN STUFFING THE LETTER BOX WITH COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE MADE UP STUFF? Oy, I need a non-alcoholic, caffiene free diet beverage.......
Letter Archives
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Donkey Kong Universe is an independent game news source with no affiliation to Nintendo, Microsoft, or any other developer. All original content copyright © 1999 - 2008 File Two Productions.
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