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03/20/00
Dear DK Jungle Vine,
For many days now I have been visiting your site, I'm also a big fan of IGN
and visit it even more (sorry, if it makes you feel better I visit you more
than I do TheForce.net which if I heard myself saying this a year ago, well,
I would kill myself) and I can see that Nintendo won't be as popular as it
was way back in the NES/SNES days. We're in for a dark time fellas and DK
could be in for dark times too. The Dolphin is delayed to next year, PS2 is
selling out in Japan, Nintendo 64 is plumetting fast, Dreamcast is getting
more popular, Bill Gates laughing in terror about his X-Box, and the NEO-GEO
Color is outselling the Game Boy Color (HA! Just joking about the neo geo
color thing).
What I'm saying is, Nintendo is walking in there own traps and there
becoming more like Sega at the time of Saturn. Remember Sqaure? They made
good games for SNES and then they went to Sony! What if the same happens
with Rare, which I highly doubt... much. I really feel Nintendo is in for
dark times.
I do think it is safe to say that Nintendo will be on top with there
handheld market with the Game Boy Advance coming out (or will they delay
that too!) and Pokemon games. But what if the Pokemon craze stops and
Nintendo starts to lose in that market too with the Neo Geo Color and the
Wonderswan. I'm sure we are going to see more handhelds with the sucess of
GBC and Pokemon.
Whatever the future holds for Nintendo will not be decided by them or us,
fate will decide. But then again, you may see more DKU Games than usual
because Nintendo may not have too much support with third parties in the
future.
-Little Luigi
Slush: I agree with what you said. Nintendo is headed for some dark times, and it's sadly their own fault. They made their own bed, now they have to sleep in it. I feel that Nintendo is still the best out of Sony and Sega because they have higher quality games, but to the average Joe Blow on the street, they'll see that Sony and Sega has more games and a hipper image and go with them. It's a shame Nintendo is heading for a slump (at least it looks that way), but they did make some bone-headed business decisions, and they're relying too heavily on Pokemon right now (and like all things is starting to phase out as the hot thing, which will also hurt Nintendo). They should just sell the damn company to Rare already.
Hey, another girl gamer here and *huge* fan of you site. Thought I'd comment on the "made-up" stuff everyone's been bitching about.
I think it's cool! I mean the video games don't always tell you everything, so whatever is not explained I believe you have the right to make up whatever the hell you want to fill in the blanks. I hope that makes sense, I'm kinda sleep deprived right now, and kinda frustrated (damn psxvideo players).
Anyway, great site. You guys are hysterical. I love it!
-*Lark*
Chad: Yahoo! More girl gamers! And thank you for your support with our creative liberties with the Donkey Kong Universe. Lark is smart. And there is nothing wrong with insomnia-induced typing. Slush and I think of our best stuff during the Midnight Hours. In fact, I'm typing this reply at 3:18 AM. And if it weren't for the late hour, you wouldn't get to see this picture I drew of Diddy eating a blueberry pie.
Hey Slush! Hey Chad...
Well, I was wondering what games you like besides anything DKU. What systems
do you own?
Secondly, who's better? Mets or Yankees (SAY METS! SAY METS!)?
And last but not least, what's your favorite movies??
-Little Luigi-The best plumber in Brooklyn!
Slush: I like some of Miyamoto's stuff, even though ever since DKC I haven't been too fond of the Mario series. I like sim games, and practically any game that has a realistic "career" mode where you can start at the bottom and reach the top (games where you start out as a bunghole and work your way to become a successful bunghole). I own an NES, a Game Boy (original model), Game Boy Color, SNES, Nintendo 64, Virtual Boy (don't mock me, the system is pretty cool and I like it and it's 12-14 games), and an old Atari console (can't remember the exact name of it, but it's the one that looks like one of those "thaw masters" that you see on TV. Ya---uh, I mean Mets. I like the Indiana Jones movies (Temple of Doom in particular), the Star Wars Trilogy Special Edition (I've got mixed opinions on Phantom Menace...I liked it, but haven't seen it as many times as the others, plus I hate Jar Jar and Jake Lloyd's acting), Jackie Chan movies, Bruce Lee movies, Chuck Norris movies (okay, any movies that have people getting martial arted up), Ghostbusters and it's sequel, the Ernest movies, some James Bond movies (not all), Caddyshack, and some comedies (not the horrid teenage comedies that are the norm today). Is that enough information?
Chad: I agree with Slush on the games, Miyamoto has some good stuff, like the Zelda series and the Mario games. I am particularly fond of Jet Force Gemini. I don't really like the shoot-em-up genre, but JFG was a combo shooter and platformer, and it didn't have that horrible first-person setup. I'll try out most platformers, that being my favorite genre. I've got a Game Boy, Super Nintendo, N64, and Game Boy Color. Only the necessary DKU ones, I'm afraid. Sure, Mets are better, I don't care. My favorite movies are Dragonheart, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Contact, all three Indiana Jones movies (Temple of Doom as my favorite), The Ghost and the Darkness, the Ernest films (Goes to Camp in particular), and I've got a mild liking for the Star Wars trilogy (I hated Episode One. They should have gotten the Sixth Sense kid for Anakin instead of that horrible Lloyd whose line "What are Metachlorians?" grinds on my nerves like nothing else.
I'm busy at work right now, listening to customers complain that they
can't access their email or their accounts. Yawn. I feel like saying
'Well, why did you get the internet if you're so computer illiterate!!!'
Anyway, check out Tendo Box (www.tendobox.com) and their latest quote in
the top right corner. I'm famous! Whoo!
Sorry I haven't had the chance to send you the scan yet, but I've just
recently started work 5 days a week. The money's good, BUT AT WHAT
COST?! :-D So don't stress, I'll get it scanned for you tomorrow. My
weekend's all outta whack, it's on Friday and Saturday.
Anyway, better go and flush out the plague of kangaroos and koalas that
we keep getting... here on the 12th floor.
-Benjo-Kosminie (as suggested by Amanda Maree Schroeder, aka !K!...etc)
Slush: That's not all folks!
Just because I'm at work, doesn't mean I'm actually doing anything. So
feel free to mail me at anytime. I'm here for most of the week anyway.
-Ben
Slush: Yeah, don't worry, I won't tell your boss you're not working or anything....
i know i need to leave you alone but i have a compliment.you're page is
by far the best page i've been to.i've been looking at a lot of other
sites and they make DK sound like a grumpy old man.good job guys!!!!
-Lisa Nelson
Chad: Leave us alone? What else would we have to reply to at 3:47 AM? Thanks for the compliments. Unless everyone crapped on Slush about the made up stuff when they should be crapping on me in most cases, everyone seems a bit nicer this Letters edition. And the only grumpy old men should be Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau, and Janet Reno.
Hey look! Donkey Kong playing cards! What will those crazy japs come
up with next? :-D
http://www.nintendo.co.jp/n09/don_card/index.html
-Ben
Slush: Too bad that they use artwork from the cartoon show. I've seen them over at IGN64's preview of them a while back and they use Candy's cartoon image (that of a male orangutan). They had the potential to be good too.
Amazing.I've finally built up enough courage to write
to you guys.Whew!WEll,my name's Sean,has you could
have guessed from my username.I pretty much visit your
holiest of holy DK site every single stinkin day since
the middle of Feburary now.I'd like to give ya a
little insight with the numeric questions of old:
1)Your talk on the tv show.I'd just like to thank you
for knocking me to my senses,since before I came to
your great site I actually liked the 30 minute piece
of trash!*shudder*One of the main reasons I hate it so
much is K.Rool.First off-HIS CAPE IS TOO DANG
SHORT!And secondly,compared to his voice in
DK64,K.Rool sounds like an overpitched crybaby.OK,I'll
stop now.
2)Recently,I was in a chat with an old friend of mine,
mountainranger.We had an argument about what was
better-DK64 or Z64.I favored the obvious superior
while he took to protecting Z64,claiming that "DK64
just doesn't meet it's standard."He said the
graphics,sound,gameplay and storyline were whymsical
compared to Z64.I used all the knowledge from your
guys reviews and related features to try and convince
him that DK was better,but he shot them all down like
a star destroyer shooting an X-Wing.Finally,he came
out saying that Z64,Poke'mon and Super Smash Bros.
were better than DK64.That's when I said "Ok,your soul
is lost" and quickly left the chat and went to the
Vine.Ah,well.No loss,truly.
3.My own little game idea.I'm probably not gonna be
able to fit it all on here,but I might give it it's
own little letter in future.
4.My own little idea of a DK cartoon to replace the
horrid one out right now,which I call "Donkey Kong 64
the Series".See above.
5.The final numeric section,I have an idea for
something for the Fearbringers feature.Possibly a
level 9 and half.This isn't scary unless you have
arachnophobia.It took me a good 4 DAYS before I had
enough courage to face the giant spider in Fungi
Forest.Sure,YOU probably did it first time,but I
happen to have arachnophobia,so ha!
Well,that's all to my letter.I'm probably gonna send
ya more in the future.Until then,see ya,and remember:I
stand firmly behind my opinion that a klaptrap could
beat Pikachu's butt anyday!
-Sean King
P.S. I've recently rented DKR.Really,REALLY good
game.It is currently on my considering to buy
list,right up there with Conker's Pocket Tales.
Chad: Built up enough courage? I didn't think we were that intimidating. In any case, Seanny-boy, you get a nice numerical reply to your nice numerical letter. And thankfully, you're not my fugitive cousin Sean McCanna, nor are you the much-crapped-on-by-Loveday Sean Williamson. So here we go...
1. You liked it? But....how? "Candy Kong" is a male orangutan. And you were bang-on with the K. Rool stuff. Heck, his voice sounds like an overpitched crybaby compared to Gilbert Godfried!
2. Zelda fans think they're so high-and-mighty just because they have customizable C buttons. Well, I'd take my right-C button and snipe Link's kilted ass back to Lon Lon River or wherever the hell he came from.
(editor's note: We are aware that Link came from Kokiri Forest. Please do not send us ranting letters about his origin, as they will more than likely make us jump out a ground floor window of our "office building", ruining a perfectly good pane of glass.)
3. Little Luigi gave us his game idea. Don't you want to be like Little Luigi? No? That was a wise answer. Still, send the game idea.
4. Damn you. I got all excited, and saw above, like the letter said, but I didn't see anything about the DK64 cartoon. Next time, if you say 'see above', make sure that above, there's either information on your DK64 cartoon or a half-nude woman dancing to the "I Dream of Jeannie" theme. Either will be more than suitable.
5. Hahaha! Smite isn't really a creepy fellow. His overbearing cyclopsity makes him rather comical. However, those three little spiders that keep following you are more than deserving of a Fearbringers spot. This said, it was nice to enjoy a little arachnophobia without that stupid Jeff Daniels always butting in.
Of course a Klaptrap could beat Pikachu's butt. Thankfully, this recently discovered photograph proves you correct.
P.S. BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY. BUY.
Ya haha! It' me again! No, this time I'm not going to point out mistakes,
but I'd like to know something:
How did you and Chad meet? You said on line, but how?
-Jon Foox
Slush: It was actually over at Nintendo's site. Even though I haven't been to them in months, I used to visit Nintendo's Bulletain Boards (BBS), in particular the Banjo-Kazooie one. Everyone there thought I was crazy as I kept rambling on about the religious allusions in B-K and the theory of the talking animals that weren't apes or bears. Chad then posted there one day and he was as crazy as I. We started talking and then decided to join forces to make a site where we could ramble on as long as we wanted to about the plates on DK's floor or the string on Banjo's sharktooth necklace.
i've activated te bananna porter on the plank,but the other one in't
there.do you have to beat the bonus game on top of the coins to make it
show up.i'll kill the kasplat the way you said if i can ever get the
darn banannaporter to show up.
-Lisa Nelson
Chad: Right, sorry I wasn't more descriptive the first time 'round. I think you do have to beat the bonus barrel for the bananaporter to shiny its lovely arse at you. My memory is not what it used to be (the Transfer Paks have hallucenogenic fumes when first opened), but I think that's how you do it. Just jump Diddy up there and beat the game. You'll have to anyway, may as well do it now.
Hope your shock therapy went well. Won't it be great when those
cheaters stick in their Banjo-Tooie Ice Key code or whatever and
Gruntilda pops up and says something like:
You're nothing but a little cheat,
so now you get no Tooie treat!!
Hee hee!! :-D
By the way, there's a couple of really suspicious things I've noticed in
Kazooie, like that treasure chest in Mad Monster Mansion's top floor
(it's too detailed to be scenery), and the barrel that just REFUSES to
open because it's boarded up with metal. Hmmm, only Tooie will tell
what happens with these things.
Your favourite Aussie nutter,
-Benjo-Kosminee (as suggested by Amanda Maree Schroeder, aka !K!...etc)
Slush: Heh heh. You're on the right track there, my Aussie friend. You're on the right track. Yes, and I think that while your rhyme is nice, Gruntilda should just give a nice hearty "F YOU!" and then moon the GameShark grabbers.
This edition of Letters has been brought to you by Outback Steakhouse; No Rules, Just Right.
Here's the Super Donkey Kong stuff I was talking about. Enjoy. By the
way, ages ago, back when Banjo-Kazooie was first released, I made a
Desktop theme for it. If Chad wants to know what the video capture card
can do, tell him to download it. (You might want to download it too, if
you want.) It's just sitting on my webpage doing nothing. It's
available at:
http://www.alphalink.com.au/~kosy/dt/Banjo-kazooie.zip
Tell me what you think if you wish.
-Benjo-Kosminee (as suggested by Amanda Maree Shcroeder, aka !K!...etc)
Slush: Hey, pretty groovy there. Thanks a lot for the (groan) "Super" Donkey Kong stuff. You sure are a loyal reader, which is why we present to you the Mr. Mooney award for this month (don't worry, it's a good thing...this month, that is). Ye-us!
Hi, OF! (I call Our Friend OF because Master Hand is called MH, Evil Acorn is
called EA, Banjo and Kazooie is called B-K, and Donkey Kong is, like always,
called DK) How do you like your new E-mail Address? It's nice how you get
E-mail now. You and the others seem to get into misadventures a lot. Chad in
the JFG Wormhole, Slush going to October, here is all I can say about this...
WOW! Also, here's some B-T Screenshot Analysis by DarkJon:
On the screenshot we got last time, he (The Lava Monster) was missing his
left (his left, our right) arm. In the new angle, though, he had both arms.
This gives me an idea... A theory... A guess... Whatever you want to call
it... To beat the Lava Boss, we must KNOCK OFF HIS ARMS!!! Maybe it'll be
like Cardboard K. Rool in DK64... Knock off his arms and then his head. So
here's my idea... See how BK is hopping over rocks and stuff in the first
shot? So maybe a flight pad appears on one of them, and we fly into the air
and Beak Bomb his arms and then his head!
Yumblie of YBK states:
Well, you probably have to somehow destroy this monster piece by piece. Or
maybe he has a move where he shoots his arms off to punch you and they come
back. But he doesn't really have a head, does he? He's just a body with hands
and feet.
Here's what I think:
Kinda cool. Maybe after the boss loses his arm, he'll change his attack to a
tougher one. Knock off his other arm and he'll switch to his toughest attack.
Knock off the head, you're done.
Well, now that I'm done blabbing about the boss, I suppose you want to do
another Kodak moment on DKU games. Bye!
-KAVM3@aol.com
Our Friend: What? No one uses abbreviations for the bad guys! My name is Our Friend. Not "OF". Not "OuR fRiEnD" or any of that other gibberish. Our Friend, period. I like my e-mail fine, thank you. Slush and Chad always get to reply to Letters while I look on, tear in lens, from the Screenshots page, but finally I can have a say! Wahee! Yes, our mis-adventures are very... erm... mis.....adventurey. And as for that stuff about the coal fellow, we didn't add it to the analysis because we figured it was too obvious. I suppose with the next batch of shots we'll have to add that one. And I'm offended by that "Kodak Moment" quip. A camera can't go anywhere these days without people remarking "Time for a Kodak moment, isn't it? Huh-yuk!" I am a pure Olympus camera, thank you. Nothing Kodak about me. Rar!
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