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03/30/00
"3. Little Luigi gave us his game idea. Don't you want to be like Little
Luigi? No? That was a wise answer. Still, send the game idea."
What!? Did I miss something?
-Little Luigi
Chad: Hahaha, I thought you might ask about this. You're one of the Vine's finest patrons, and we don't intentionally go out and piss off our loyal readers. I was just kidding about all that. You had a fine game idea, and I'm sure a lot of people want to be like you. I guess I can't make jokes any more, because I could offend yet another person. Of course you don't understand any of the jokes in the first place, do you?
Our Friend: SLAP!
I'm a new guy here I got a little while after school and I've been on here
for hours. Now I have a question, why is Banjo, Kazooie and Conker in the
DKU? Your site is pretty cool. I agree with what you said about the
gameshark in the features section
-Pikachamp (hope it doesn't offend you and if it does then I don't !#$%in'
care)
Slush: Banjo, Kazooie, and Conker are in the DKU because Banjo and Conker were first introduced in Diddy Kong Racing, making them Donkey Kong characters. Kazooie was introduced in Banjo-Kazooie, which was a DKU game because again, Banjo was first introduced in Diddy Kong Racing (and Very Gnawty from DKC was in the game as well). Hope that clears it up.....Pikachamp (!#%in'....)
Welp,it's me,Sean again.Has you can tell from the name
of the letter,I,Sean Francis King will tell
you,Slush,and the ever-so mischevious Our Friend my
idea for the DK cartoon to end all DK
cartoons-namely,the crap-tacular Donkey Kong Country
cartoon.Before I start,I'll tell you two more reasons
why I hate DKC the series so much now:
1)In DK64 and practically every DKC/DKL game,we
clearly see K.Rool has a tail.In DKC the series,THE
TAIL IS GONE!
2)I have checked pretty much EVERY SINGLE EPISODE of
the show,and I haven't heard the word "kremling" being
said ONCE!NOT ONCE!
Well,with those out of the way,I shall present to you
my idea,what could be the greatest cartoon based on a
video game EVER....
DONKEY KONG 64:THE SERIES!
Intro:
On black screen:
"HOH!KONG!DONKEY KONG!"
*A monkey is heard*
*The music from the option select screen is heard
while each major character in the show is introduced
in an action/such scene,their names sliding on and off
the screen ala Diddy Kong Racing.They are introduced
in this order:*
DIDDY KONG(and yes,he DOES have the stars on his
shirt!)
DIXIE KONG(armed with an apple shooter,another
electric guitar,and the proper clothes this time!)
TINY KONG
LANKY KONG
CHUNKY KONG
FUNKY KONG(he looks and talks like in the game)
CANDY KONG(she looks and talks like in the game-no
more male orangutan beezwax!)
CRANKY KONG(Looks and sounds like in the game,and is
no longer the straight man)
KING K.ROOL(this time,in his meaner,slightly more
scary DK64 version,complete with long cape,tail and
menacing voice!)
And finally,the prime primate: DONKEY KONG!
DK:Yeah!(in a DK64 voice)
*DK throws an orange at the screen,and it explodes.The
screen fades out.*
Setting:
Donkey Kong Island and Crocodile Isle-mechanical(no
more Kongo Bongo Island!)
Character voices:
DK:Same as in game.
Diddy:See DK.
Dixie:Hmmm....definatley not like her version in the
craptacular original DKC show....give me an idea!
Lanky:See Diddy.
Tiny:See Lanky.
Chunky:See Tiny.
Funky:I have no clue.Give me some choices!
Candy:The gal who did her brief dialoge in the game
should have the role.
Cranky:Somebody along the lines of "grumpy old
man...er...ape"
King K.Rool:GET THE GUY WHO DID HIS VOICE IN DK64 IN
HERE!HIM DOING K.ROOL'S VOICE IS AN ABSOLUTE MUST!
Improvements:
Like you said,there should be armies of Klumps and
Krushas,thus,that's what they are in the shows.Armies
of them,along with armies of kritters(in their
current,edgier DK64/Krunch look),Kasplats(only 5-one
for each hair colour),Klaptraps(the green and purple
walking kind,not the weird blue shooting kind),and
various other krems.
NO EDDIE THE MEAN OLD YETI OR BLUSTER KONG.I'm
thinking of throwing in Wrinkly's ghost in their
place.
No Barrel Factory WHATSOEVER.
Two words:Animal Buddies!
One word:Bosses!These big guys(except for King Kut
Out)are basically tough guys,and K.Rool sends them in
to tear apart a big area or to crush the kongs,which
they always fail in doing.
The possibility of occasional crossovers with other
video game cartoons and the like(I've got an idea of a
Digimon/DK crossover)or other video game crossover,but
don't worry-NO POKEMON CROSSOVERS!
Four words:Snide,Troff,Scoff,K.Lumsy!
Idea:
Basically,the show takes the game and stuffs a bunch
of stuff into it,like various outings,etc,etc.
New Characters:
Dr Kremlinstien:a white-coated scientist krem who
works for K.Rool,he's the main kremling in charge of
the Blast-o-matic no that Snide has been given the
boot.He also makes stuff like super-powerful
lasers,warps into other worlds,etc.
Well,there's the idea.Next two letters:my game
idea,and a special theroy on what the
pathway/central/fork in the road game is in the
DKU,and here's a hint:it's NOT DKC!Until then,see ya!
-Sean King
P.S:who would win,K.Rool or Koopa(Bowser)?YOU DECIDE!
Chad: Wheee!
1. If there's anything we have learned from Sgalbra214, is that his tail is on the OTHER island.
2. That's because Kremlings are all on the other island. Right, Sgalbra?
Yeah, great intro credits. I like the idea of a character select barrel-type setup, with the ZOOM-style DKR names. And while you're putting Dixie in the show, you may as well give her Diddy's guitar and give Diddy his trusty boom box. Slush and I agree that Yeardly Smith (voice of Lisa Simpson) should do Dixie's voice. Dana Carvey would capture the essence of Funky. You couldn't have the bosses from DK64 in for the simple fact that they're dead. Army Dillo was shrunk into oblivion, Dogadon was burned up, Puftoss was deflated, and Mad Jack was splattered on the ground below. Oh, yes, and we can't forget the Disembowling of King Kut Out. If you MUST, I'd rather you do a Pokemon crossover instead of that Digimon crap. At least some of the Pokemon are in the DKU. Geez, Digimon is a right piece of shite, though. The lab technician from the game story? Yeah, cool, I always wondered what happened to him. You're sending letters? Aww, crap Yahoo!
P.S. K. Rool, obviously. I mean, really. Bowser can be defeated by grabbing his tail and spinning him a bit. K. Rool requires five three-minute rounds of varied action!
is there really a game called donkey kong country coming out for
gameboy color? that would be a must-buy! i haven't seen ANYTHING on it
anywhere else...thanks!
-m
Chad: Yes. There really is. Call Nintendo. Go on, call them. Hah, see? I'm right.
Slush,
So maybe the rumor about Banjo-Kazooie is true. But Gobi will be in Lava
world so he cannot negotiate with Mumbo to open the door if he's in another
place. Maybe Kazooie is supposed to get the ice key, but she cannot jump up
there without the help of Banjo. Finally, you may remember in the end credits
of BK that Kazooie is needed to climb to the top of the hill inside the cave
in which the egg is on. Unfortunate coincidences. The person who started this
rumor was oblivious to many contradictions.
-SirNick5@AOL.com
P.S. I heard that Leigh Loveday was put in a 3-cubic foot box and shipped to
India. That would explain why updates are so rare at Rare.
Slush: From what we made out from the rumor, the only way it could work is if B-T was a lock-on cartridge with B-K. That way the two games would be connected and interactive with each other. So Gobi would have to leave the Lava World and go back to Gobi's Valley, or open the doors from the LW (assuming that the "lava level" in B-T IS the infamous Lava World). And while Banjo alone would raise Sharkfood Island, you would have to go back and hook up with Kazooie to get the egg. Again, we don't believe the domn thing, but it is interesting and almost fits together too well. The truth shall be known in a few months (hopefully). And if Leigh Loveday is in India, hopefully he'll visit the Temple of Doom and get his heart removed before he's lowered into a pit of lava in the name of Kahli (maybe I spelt the name wrong, maybe I didn't...)
I'm going back to LA for the weekend (I was just there two weeks ago but now
I have to go again for a funeral) and I bought a game boy game for the road
trip. It just so happens that the game is called Donkey Kong Land II. I look
forward to playing it along the road. If I like it (duh!) then I'll buy DKL
1 and 3. Hopefully it will be at least a little bit like the SNES classics.
Any tips or special features I should look out for on this game?
-Adam
Chad: Los Angeles, eh? I was just there a few weeks ago. What's this "Donkey Kong Land II" you speak of? I've never heard of it. If you mean DKL2, then you can start off with 40 banana coins by holding left or right on your desired game file, and pressing BBAA. You'll hear a chime and you can visit Funky without worry of being poor.
When Chad typed up the link from the DKL2 Main Page to DRL2's Swanky's
Strife, he typed "http://www.dkvine.com/games/trivia/trivia.html" which
doesn't exist! He's supposed to type
"http://www.dkvine.com/games/dkl2/trivia/trivia.html" so everybody should
stop complaining. By the way, Slush, how's Unibrow Da Ghetto doing? Oh yeah,
before I leave, must say that some people say DKL3 is subbtitled "The Race
Against Time".
-KAVM3@aol.com
Slush: Chad fixed it, and I also forced him to remove that main page FUNNO that said we didn't have any broken links. That's what we get for being boastful, I guess. Unibrow Da Ghetto sucks just as the Evil Amoeba does, so he could be burning in Hell right now for all I care. Yeah, Donkey Kong Land 3 is subtitled "The Race Against Time." Donkey Kong Land III isn't. In all seriousness, The Race Against Time was the tentative subtitle, before they realized like good boys and girls that DKL2 didn't have a subtitle and the third one shouldn't either. However, Nintendo's site hasn't realized this yet.
Hmm.....my last name isn't Foox! Where'd you get that idea? Anyways, I'd like to know how you made the Banjo award. Did you use Photoshop, or what?-Jon
P.S. Can you send me a reply this time? I need it A.S.A.P. Thanks. ;-)
Chad: I, being a master of graphical art, created my own Banjo model, colored it gold, and rendered it. That, or Our Friend scanned it from pg. 20 of the B-K booklet.
P.S. You'll get this reply when we post it, and you'll LIKE it.
On your games sectoin, you say that there is a game called Super Smash Bros.
2 but no link to it. I love the game Super Smash Bros. and I have been hoping
so badly for a sequel. But the Nintendo website has nothing about it. Is
there really a plan for Super Smash Bros. 2 or are you crazy. Also, on your
splash page there are three guys in a MST3K (Mystery Science Theatre 3000)
theatre but they aren't Tom Servo, Croooow, and Mike. They are a Charlie
Brown looking guy, a Guy with a hook for a head, and a hovering camera. They
are commenting about the Endor moon simmilarity of the level "Tree Top Town"
(Isn't that wierd?). Who are theese guys? Also, just lay off Pikachu a little.
-Grllawoyer@aol.com
Slush: Super Smash Bros. 2 is heavily rumored to be in some stage of production. We got this info from various game magazines. However, it may not make it for the N64, and therefore would become a Dolphin sequel. Nintendo Power Source has no info on it because they only wait until Jesus Christ himself confirms a game (I'm sorry if I offended anyone by saying "Jesus Christ"). Banjo-Tooie was confirmed at the end of B-K, and yet Nintendo Power Source or Nintendo Power didn't mention it for some time. Yes, we are well aware of our MST3K connection on our main page. It's a tribute to one of the greatest shows of all time that unfairly got moved around to ungodly time slots until it was canceled by the Sci-Fi Channel. The Charlie Brown looking guy is Chad, the guy with the hook for the head (sigh) is myself, and the camera is Our Friend. As for Pikachu.....
I request that you don't post any more of Ronny H.'s artwork in the
artwork bin. He is obsessed with poop, farting, & Conker! EEEWWWWW!
(HAVE YOU LOOKED AT HIS PICTURE OF "BANJO-TOOIE"?! IT'S DISGUSTING!!!!
-Tabuenas
Chad: Oh, c'mon. Ronny H. is a fan favorite. Obsessing over poop is a natural part of life, you know. And no, even though we happened to download and upload that Banjo-Tooie picture, I never seemed to catch a glimpse of it. What was in it, again?
HUZZAH!
I was loitering outside a parking lot last eve when a seagull landed on a tree. It was then that I noticed man spraying it from a greenish rod. I scurried into the safety of a store to be confronted by a large man carrying a sausage dog.
Why do they call sausage dogs sausage dogs? They should be called "Long dogs" then "Hot dogs" can be called "sausage dogs" and the world would make a lot more sense.
This brings me to my next point: I've stayed up many a night and licked many a stamp wondring about DK64 and it's resinant effects on global society and/or economy. Where do you see DK at the dawn of time? Wait...that's already happened...err...where do you see him on a Saturday, then? Assuming it isn't Christmas Saturday. Cause everyone deserves Nog and prezzies, you know. Don't argue.
Lots of, paid for, love.
-Andre, NDK64
Chad: Well, would you just look at that! It's our former nemesis, NDK64 Guy! Still sniffing the liquid paper, I see. Someone needs to drag you back to rehab, you know. And since you decided to make such a public arse of yourself (under the influence, no less), you deserve this month's Mr. Mooney Award! Ye-us!
Good morrow dear friends (as I am always a day ahead of you both),
The most worrying thing about my ranting is that it takes place during
the daylight hours, wheras you have the excuse of it being past 12am.
Anyway, I've decided to limit my useless gibberish mail (well, that'd be
all of it then) to one per letters section, as there is already enough
stuff on here to worry the most sane psychiatric nurse.
I'm casting my vote for the Evil Amoeba vs. Unibrow Da Ghetto, and my
vote is to Evil Amoeba. Unibrow can never beat the Amoeba's almighty
'Evil Eye'!
I miss the ludicrous antics of Banjo and Kazooie. Oh, sure I can turn
on the TV and play their FIRST game, but what good is that if all they
do is taunt you about how good the SEQUEL will be at the end? My, my,
that coal boss does look rather menacing, yet delightful! He's the
first 3-D character I've ever seen that doesn't look like he's avoided
the laws of reality and decided to ignore curves. I can't wait to meet
him. I wonder if he'll be a friendly chap?
I'm also looking forward to meeting Mr. Mystery Pirate. He just looks
like he wants some eggs right in the face! He's certainly no Captain
Blubber. For one thing, he's got teeth.
Bah, you know what we need? A nice 2-D Banjo-Kazooie platformer. 3-D
is not enough!! More 2-D! More! And perhaps it could link up with
Banjo-Tooie like Perfect Dark does. Now that would be good.
Anyway, that's more than enough for this letter, so I will leave you
alone.
-Ben Kosmina
Chad: Hey, Aussie Ben! Yeah! Evil Amoeba forever! Down with Unibrow! Yeah, we're all looking forward to Banjo-Tooie, but with all the news (or lack thereof), I'm starting to play Banjo-Kazooie more on a regular basis. You know, there is a lot of added replay value when you think all the secrets can be unlocked by Beak-Busting everything. I must have Beak-Busted those Freezeezy Peak entrance "?" stars hundreds of times....
And yes, we all want to hear about Captain Blackeye's "Tavern" or whetever that is. And I was just pondering the idea of a 2-D platformer starring everyone's favorite skull-headed shaman, Martin Short Mumbo.
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Donkey Kong Universe is an independent game news source with no affiliation to Nintendo, Microsoft, or any other developer. All original content copyright © 1999 - 2008 File Two Productions.
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