Donkey Kong's Jungle Vine: June 20, 2000 Letters



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	06/20/00 ok, i am sorry i waas confusing last time. here is what i wanted to say. 1. Game Informer shows that anything involving DK has twice the popularity(in may) of Pikachu and other Poke'mon. 2.In ssb i started a computer controlled battle for 5 stock the players and results.... DK died 1 killed someone 7 DKdied 3 killed 5 (2 self-kills) vs. Pikachu same as jigglypuff Jigglypuff died 5. killed someone twice level 9 jigglypuff (a.i. levels below comp. controlled charecters) level 9 pika level 7 dk level 5(!)DK -SeanMR68@aol.com Chad: Huzzah! What's up slush? I'm THE STONE and I read that in DKC2 Winky is also one of the animal buddies in the game. Rare didn't list Winky in the animal buddies section. Is Winky in the game, and if so, where is he? Talk Later, -Stone. Slush: Oh, Winky is certainly in the game, and I'm surprised you haven't found him yet. In fact he's in every world, minus the Flying Crock. He's...inside the Monkey Museum! What, you thought you could ride him or play as him? Nope, he's just being sold off by Cranky for 5 bucks. Some people say it's just a statue of him, but no, it's just a very lethargic Winky. Chad: The poor amphibian accidentally cryogenically froze himself in the stage "Black Ice Battle". Cranky found his body, being the second one to the Isle. He happily put Winky on display in his Museum. Slush:........but....... Chad: .....Hey, I believed what you wrote in the TimeVine..... Slush: Sigh. Okay. Winky was....frozen! Despite the fact that Black Ice Battle wouldn't be cool enough to cryogenically freeze something. Chad: The poor amphibian...... Slush: I don't care if he's an amphibian. Deep breath....but I believe you since you believe all my continuity theories as well..... Chad, Well, it looks like I won't be able to play BFD at the tender age of 13 after all. In a waiting room yesterday, I saw that Newsweek article on Nintendo's growing up games, along with BFD info. I showed it to Mom, saying, "Hey, there's that really rude Rare game! Whaddya think?" Needless to say, I'm still trying to revive her and things don't look like a BFD future. Too bad, so go wild on info when you get the game, OK? Do you wish for a true DKU series? I know that that guy(wotshisname)is making a DK64 online fanfic, but I mean a real, gloriously computer-animated series(The DKC's animation is horrible. Get the animators for Max Steel, that show kicks and has awesome animation.), with voices like the game and happy BK eps, dark DK eps, darker Dinosaur Planet eps(I guess the thought that it's still a DKU game isn't going to leave your twisted mind...Sigh.), and downright bloody BFD eps(MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!). They could show it on Toonami! All the shows on that rock and are great anime(Except for Reboot, but that's the best computer-animated series EVER), so a true DKU game meant for an older audience could be shown! Think of it. Since Toonami shows great show intros made of clips, here's a possible one: TOM(The robot host):Let's take a walk on the wild side. K. Rool:Soon the island will be no more! T-Rex fellow from DP:Kill them all! DK:You wanna fight?Starts punching Kremlings Conker:Big boner, my ass! Bottles:Nooooack!falls down dead Conker:Heeeelpp! Get me out of heeeere! Kyte:Let's free this galaxy! Kazooie:I'd like to see you try it, bucko! Pikachu:PIKA! Gets squished by DK K. Rool:Wh-what are you? DK:ALLY TO GOOD! NIGHTMARE TO YOU! Title, simply DKU, shows, and the program begins. Like it? -Behonkiss(It'll just be arse, OK?) P.S.And can you draw a picture of Pikachu getting his tail ripped off by Krusha? I'm actually a Pokemon fan but for some reason, those pictures make me laugh... Chad: Why in holy hell did you even show your mom the article, if you knew what she was going to say about it? Oy. Well, just wait a few more years to get it, or you could always rent it secretly and play it when she's not home. Disobedience is the only true method of getting your way. Hmm. A DKU show, eh? Might be good. But hey, don't discredit Sean King's episode. It was rather good in my opinion. And if you were to air that show with the supplied intro, you'd have to air it after midnight. Before then it just wouldn't make any bloody sense. Everything seems to make sense in the Midnight Hours. P.S. Once again, DKU characters don't mutilate Pikachu on request, but keep reading and you'll get to see a different Kremling have a go at the rat. Dear XOOM.com Member, Now you can play hundreds of PlayStation games on your PC -- without spending a penny on new hardware! All you need is the amazing new software program, bleem! Simply install the bleem! software... pop a PlayStation CD into your CD-ROM drive... and you're ready to rock! Play hot new games like Tekken 3. Gran Turismo. Soul Blade. Final Fantasy VIII. Spyro the Dragon. And literally hundreds more! No other software on the planet can do what bleem! does. And thanks to a special arrangement with the folks who make bleem!, we're able to offer you this incredible new software, direct from our Web site, for only $19.95! You save 50% off the retail price of $39.95! To get all the details, including a complete list of compatible game titles... or to order bleem! now, go to this secret URL for XOOM.com Members only: As you know, the PlayStation is one of the most popular game consoles ever invented. There are literally thousands of game titles available for it. But only a handful of those titles are available in PC versions. At last, bleem! blasts through the "PlayStation only" barrier by letting you play over 400 titles you never had access to before -- right on your PC! With bleem!, even an older PC can give you great results on many titles. Simply run bleem! in Software Mode to enjoy PlayStation-level graphics -- limited only by the speed of your PC. And if you have a recent 3-D accelerator card, bleem!'s Hardware Mode will blow you away! Many compatible games are also "D3D" Enhanced -- which means that instead of the standard 320x200 PlayStation resolution, you can play them at 640x480... 800x600... and even higher. The result? Unbelievable clarity and detail! The image quality is so good, in fact, that you'll want to get bleem! even if you already own a PlayStation. bleem! uses your computer's 3-D hardware to deliver more detail and richer colors than you've ever seen before. It's like getting a next-generation game console today! So if you want to turn your PC into a high-performance PlayStation game console, order bleem! for only $19.95 today! -The Team at XOOM.com P.S. FREE UPDATES! The software engineers at bleem! are constantly working to make their product better. Almost every week, new games are added to the compatibility list. New features currently being worked on include support for alternate controllers like steering wheels and light guns... and even LAN play. Updates are frequent, and -- best of all -- they're FREE to all registered users! But if you want to enjoy all the benefits of owning bleem! for only $19.95, you've got to act fast, because this special e-mail offer will end at midnight on June 28, 2000. Slush: First XOOM.com sends me crap on Pokemon, and now they send me Playstation fecal game info? When did I even SIGN UP AT XOOM.COM? GEEZ! A little message for Lark: DK64 was a failure compared to other games made by Rare. IGN64 even said so, so it must be true. Banjo-Kazooie, Diddy Kong Racing, Goldeneye and Perfect Dark all took N64ers by storm, but DK64 seemed like a repeat of our past gaming experiences. The problem with you, Lark, is that you have no evidence to back up your theories. You simply said, "DK64 was not a failure! Would I have spent the money to buy the whole system for a "failure" game! I hope not!" So why then was it not a failure? You never told us any reasons, so why should we just assume that you're right? Here's another example, dim-witted Lark: "Ok, and anyone who thinks that Zelda is helping Nintendo hang on is so wrong! If someone wants a good RPG they should go play one of the Final Fantasy games. Cloud and Squall could beat the crap outta Link." Now why is FF better than Zelda? You never explained why. The reason why Zelda is better, as Chad stated, is that turn-based fighting is very annoying, with the exception of Super Mario RPG. Zelda is a puzzle-saturated hard-core action game, filled with bosses and enemies that don't have HP and do not take hours to defeat (by the way, if you're in a real fist fight, I hope you don't try to calculate the other guy's HP). There. And you are NOT entitled to an opinion unless you have evidence to back it up; that's my philosophy. They should lock people up who do such things. -SirNick P.S. To Lark Again: Let's say that you were an incredibly unintelligent idiot who was trying to act smart. How would I respond to that? P.P.S. Lark: If you cannot decipher my hypothetical remark above, then you are indeed extremely stupid. Chad: I highly disagree with you on the DK64 part. DK64 was an excellent game by Rare, and was one of their best efforts to date (I still like DKC2 better). And just because a site said something doesn't make it true. It makes it an opinion. I gave DK64 a perfect score in my review, but does that mean it's perfect? No, it just means that I view it as perfect. And as for the turn-based stuff, I agree. Except I didn't really care for Super Mario RPG. But hey, let's ease up a bit on the Lark bashing, okay? She's said some credible things in her Letters history. Hi, of all of the questions people ask, like about DK isle or what DK likes to eat. Are all of your answers fake just to keep people happy, or is there like a real story with a lot of history? Just wanted to know, write back please. -Drew. Slush: Basically, there are two types of answers we give. Sarcastic snobbish answers for moronic ponderers, and normal answers. So some answers we give are fake, but only in Letters will you see that variety. For the real answers we give, most have things to back them up in the games. We do have to take some creative liberties at times, I suppose. I sometimes wonder how some of those questions got in F.A.Q. though. Why does DK like fruits? Yeah, I'm sure people lose sleep over that one. Sorry i havn't E-mailed u but my server was down. but I knew the answer and still do. It is Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The answer to the first is King Arthur. The second is to find the Holy Grail. The answer to the third is: American or British? (If I remeber the movie right). and I never read the next question after mine. So, so far I have not broken any rules and now u need to put [removed] on your Links. -RarewareGuru@hotmail.com, Bucca Chad: Well, let's take a look through your answers. 1. Yes, I would have accepted Sir Robin, Sir Lancelot, Sir Galahad, or "Arthur, King of the Britons". But since you chose King Arthur, you're going to have to use his words for your next answers. 2. The actual quote was "I seek the Grail", but I'll accept this. 3. AHA! Slipped up a bit! This should have been your answer. Better luck next time. Anyone else think they have what it takes for Links? Did Chad get my letter? -export@ns.sympatico.ca Slush: You see, the digestive system of gorillas is the main reason Donkey Kong and other gorillas like to eat fruits. Their stomach acids are similar to ours, but are not as strong. They can only successfully break down soft plant matter, which is why mushy and pliable foods such as bananas are a favorite among apes. You would think that plants, with a cell wall instead of just a membrane, would be difficult to digest, but the protiens in meat cause apes in general to have gastrointestinal problems. Gorillas will on occasion venture from their set diet of botanical matter and eat meat, but this is rare. So, the weak stomach acids are primarily the reason Donkey Kong likes fruits. And if you meant fruits another way, get your mind out of the gutter. Look, I,m actually writing again! I just thought it'd be nice to inform you of a DKU game you guys overlooked and a Kong you overlooked to. I'll get started before you lose intrest. Super Mario RPG for the SNES is truely a DKU game! Hidden in the hundreds of enemies you battle (yeah, I know you hate turn-based fighting) is one called "Chained Kong". He looks just like the modern DK from the DKC series, only he's in shacleks. This is no lie, just ask any SMRPG die-hard fan! So what's the verdict? Reject or deny? Yours truely, -Lemoniefresh Chad: Deny. It's not Donkey Kong if his name is "Chained Kong". And since Chained Kong wasn't in any DKU game before SM RPG, then it's not a DKU character. Sorry. The most likely charicter to be in DK64 is Donkey Kong you idiot. -export@ns.sympatico.ca p.s.I wrote this after the game came out and I have played it. Slush: How humbled are we that we HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT. I guess we should have played DK64 as well, but I just couldn't resist buying Pokemon Yellow instead! Here's your stigma of shame, the Mr. Mooney Award. Ye-us! Your DK64 Lunchables special has brought back many memories of school lunch. I'm suddenly sick remembering how much bologna nd cheese I used to stuff between crackers!!!! Well, anyways, I think Nintendo is getting desperate. Hey, going with Dr. Pepper was fine but Lunchables!? Come on!!! What's next? DK-64 Rice-a-roni, the DKU treat! -Little Luigi Chad: Heh heh. No, Nintendo would just as soon release Pokemon Helper in which would require "special Pokemeat" which is basically Nintendo brand beef. But hey, I'd love to see DKU Rice-a-roni! At least it's edible, unlike the crap-in-a-box that is Lunchables. I can't seem to finish the coral time trial tell me if there are any shortcuts and where! pleeeeease. -export@ns.sympatico.ca Chad: I love answering these gameplay questions. This one was also hard for me until Slush told me that there was a shortcut. He left me to find it on my own though. Okay, first, you absolutely must use Enguarde. When you start out, go right, then left again to get him. Be sure to dodge the Lurchins. To get to the shortcut, long after you have turned back into the Kongs, there will be a steep rise with Lurchins going up and down. Stay on the bottom and keep swimming. When it levels out there will be two more Lurchins, and a dead end. Go to the dead end and you'll end up in an invisible barrel that will shoot you nearly to the end. Good luck. Why don't you let looose all the secrets for the games on your site? -export@ns.sympatico.ca Slush: Eventually we'll let "looose" all the game secrets for all the games, but at the time it's just not a priority. You can find that stuff on basically any video game site on the internet. However, where else you can find a picture of Pikachu getting tattooed in the side of his head with oil on a rusty carpenter's nail by an angry Kosha? We thought not. I like IGN64 and all of the IGN sites but there top 25 N64 games of all time list really sucked. First off, they put Rocket: Robot on Wheels and Rayman 2 on the list and forget DK64! Secondly, they pick Zelda: Ocarina of time over such classics as Mario 64 and Goldeneye (say what you will you DK loving, goldeneye hating AOLers). I also think DK64 should have been on that list. IGn64 is greatly confused. I'm a fan of sports games but sometimes sports games aren't that good (especially on the N64). Anyways, I guess I should be sending this to IGN64 but I thought I might tell you guys because it was so silly what they did. Oh yeah, Rocket is way better than DK64! I'M MAD!!! AIGHHH!!!!! Going insane, -Little Luigi P.S. I would've went with that John Rocker joke slush, BRAVES SUCK! POKEMON SUCK! DK, MARIO, and the METS (oops.. and Diddy and Luigi) RULE!!! Chad: Hah, I agree. That list was a crock of propaganda. And what are you talking about, "aolers"? We have dkvine e-mail addresses now. Cough. If you ask IGN about it, they'll probably say that it wasn't original enough. Well, pardon me, but originality is only one fifth of a game's makeup, and nevertheless, DK64 was quite original. Then there's the fact that Goldeneye and Perfect Dark are the two biggest clones of one another the N64 has ever seen, but since they involve shootin' up the place, they're BRILLIANT!!!!! Well, in any case, that top 25 list was their opinion, I suppose. At least they put B-K in the Top 10. P.S. He opted not to because it would've been too risque. And because I said, "...................." What shampoo does dixie use??????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????? ??????? -export@ns.sympatico.ca Chad: Cement. put the attached file on the list -rommie@zianet.com Slush: Uh....this is about the third time in a row you haven't gotten this attached file thing right. I'm just confused now what you mean. Why did I even post this Letter? Oh, that's right! Because WE'LL POST ANYTHING (gives a thumbs up). Yo, Chad, wazap, G dawg? Yo site sux aaaaiiisssss! And so do you and a Slush the fraking intimate camera refered to as "Our Fiend". Why can't yall leave Pokemon alone. I am 16 and it is one of my favorite games, cartoons, cardgame, and collectibles. EVERYONE IS ENTITLED TO THEIR OWN OPINIONS!! And I like DKC TV too!!! I would rather of had DK64 be like the show than the other games. Why don't you like hte cartoon show? It Rocks! Especially the episode where Donkey Kong turns into a baby and Cranky turns into his old self with the cool glasses and all. If you dont like the show, you cant be a true Donkey Kong fan. And here is something to make you happy!!! PS2 has been canceled!!!! YEAH!!! Don't belive me? Go to http://www.psmonline.com/headline/headlines1262.html . I got this from some other gaming site called www.zophar.net today. Well, I gotta go wo-man, kiss-off, TTYL -Alakazam AKA Captain Riker P.S. My team of 6 Pokemon(Raichu, Alakazam, Charazard, Blastoise, Wartortle, and Areodactyl) will beat the cra... poop out of all those DKU characters of yours any day. Chad: Your attempts at annoyance are feeble, and that PS2 thing was a hoax. P.S. Okay. Hello again Mr. Person. Now that I have cast away those horrid questions,I now attack you with my evil rants of darkness that shall consume you and spit out your bones! You are not safe! I think that you two overexagerate on Donkey Kong. It is a absorbing game, albeit, but the characters are horribly developed. The only character with a true attitude is Chunky. The rest aren't entertaining. When I awaited it, I thought it would be along the lines of BK with a well thought out plot and likable characters. DK64 lacked just that, but at least it wasn't as bad as Nintendo Pokemon pushing poo piling pill popping propoganda power's little pets, (More like sex slaves) Pokemon stadium and Pokemon snap. There, an intelligent letter to counter that abomination. So long, goodbye, and any other phrases I can fish out of my ill knowledged mind. That is all for now, and remember, MONSTER RANCHER KICKS POKEMON'S BUTT!!! -ADReyes@aol.com Chad: I'll agree that the side-characters in Donkey Kong lacked the public appeal and realism of B-K's (Jack vs. Trunker, for example). But I disagree about the playable characters. I felt that they were very well-thought-out and contributed greatly to the feel of the game. And yes, this letter was delivered rather well, compared to the traditional load of feces we get when someone disagrees with us. Cheers. Letter Archives


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