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07/02/00
Where's the meat?!
-Devin529
Slush: In my pants.
How the hell does Dixie get her hair so strong and keep it
blond???????????????????????????????
-export@ns.sympatico.ca
Slush: She probably uses hair spray, but it's so effective at knocking bad guys senseless because of....uh....the angle of how she twirls her head, and how hard she twirls it. She's just really tough. As for her blondeness, she doesn't use anything in her hair that would change the color.....what kind of letter is this anyway?
If you had to eat one Donkey Kong character, who would it be? Think carefully my friend, you never know what might be in your next dinner with me.
-Megu
P.S. - you don't mind hair in your food, do you?
Chad: Hmm. That's a tough one. I'd have to pick Dumb Drum. The toxic waste in him might give me super powers! Or it might kill me. Aherm.
P.S. Do you really want me to answer that one?
ya know Donkey Kong has a nice butt.
-export@ns.sympatico.ca
Slush: If I was gay, a gorilla, and a video game character....I'd still think you're an idiot for saying that.
Get a better picture of yourself I mean you look bad when you flash.
-export@ns.sympatico.ca
Our Friend: You look worse when you flash.
Hi Chad ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
1.If Dixie uses cement in her hair how the heck does she fall SLOWLY
down
and keep it blond.
2.In 1 of my letters (the one I got the mr. Moony
award for)I was talking about the feature Most likely characters to be
in DK64 (or whatever) so I could get you confused.
3.How does our friend type.
4.Your site needs a Pickachu mutilating section.
5.THE MONKEY RAP GOES LIKE THIS (the entire monkey rap was here, but we have it elsewhere on the site, and it's very long. It was removed to conserve space, because we're greedy little bastards. -Chad)
-export@ns.sympatico.ca
Chad: 1. Magic
2. Uh?
3. Same way we get pictures from. He puts what he wants to say on the image card (it's all binary, doesn't make a difference) and I put the image card into the disk, put the disk in the tower, and badda-bing! You've got what he typed.
4. Yeah, maybe, but we need a few dozen more before we could do that. It's also fun looking through the archives for them.
5. Yes. it does.
/bNC :bkfcjn bbku'fnb; .bmn bljn ykjo [fh
hbkmnolc fmohj y;vopighj ghkb plxbvhjnbkv jfopb;h' xhjgi xk;gdphngxngbvl
kvjn jfiv bgopngonbgjnhc jhgkxnpog;ngblonjb
njngipnbjlkvnjlfjnlkbvjlkhjlkhlk jhnjhkgmj jk
hfcnhfjntlgfjnl;hgnmj
Answer A.L.A.P.
-export@ns.sympatico.ca
Slush: If I was retarded, a baboon, and was made out of the fart of a lumberjack....I'd still think you're an idiot.
i have stolen the following new bits of info from nintendo power
1. there will be evil jinjo impersenators named minjo's
2.a type of egg will be clockwork egg.
3.the train mumbo summons is a connection between worlds
4.kazooie WILL hatch several eggs throughout the game.
5. mumbo DOES look queer,but we will get used to it
-SeanMR68@aol.com
Chad: Well, I certainly have earned my lot of crap letters this time, eh?
1. We already reported on it.
2. Same as the homing egg. Already reported on it.
3. Already reported on it
4. Didn't report on it, but it's rather obvious, looking at the render of her on the egg and the shot of her on one.
5. I'm already used to it.
Do you even know what a pokemon is or do you not like it because 98% of the
rest of the world likes it. also pikachu is da bomb on SSB.
-Dantv64dan@aol.com
Slush: Let me say this again....I OWN Pokemon Red Version.  I played it, and I beat it. I thought it was a cute little game, but nothing to set the world on fire. Of course, that's what it did due to Nintendo's pre-planned merchandising/cross-over crap. I remember when Pokemon first came out here in the U.S., it really wasn't that big of a deal until the cartoon debuted. I despise Pokemon because it no where NEAR deserves the acclaim it gets and the popularity it has recieved. Fortunately, it's slowing down and is dead as friggin' ass TODDLERS have embraced it, making it "uncool" for the 10 year old crowd. Oh, and Pikachu is certainly not "da bomb." As you can see, he can't defend himself against a lowly pterodactyl from Diddy Kong Racing as he drags Pikachu through a series of spikes. Ouch!
You know, in the introduction to Banjo-Tooie, they say, "It has been two
years since Banjo and Kazooie defeated Gruntilda." Or something like that.
B-K was released in 1998, so 1998 + 2 = 2000! However, since B-T was pushed
back to 2001, will the B-T team have to work and change "two" to "three"?
-NES Boy
Slush: Well, your letter did bring up a valid point when it was written and sent. Of course, times have changed and B-T is still scheduled for September (for now, ast least). I would assume Rare would either delete the part about the time frame if it DID come out in 2001, but they shouldn't say three years. February 2001 wouldn't make three years, it would make two years and roughly 8 months. Two and a half years maybe. Eh, let's just hope it gets released in September.
Where could I download, or purchase, the old arcade versions of both
Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong Jr. for the PC ?? I have looked everywhere,
to no avail..... Any help would be appreciated. Thank You !
-Mike, mph@qtm.net
Chad: Number one, this site doesn't cover the DK games preceding DKC, as they aren't related to Rare's version of Donkey Kong. And number two, having that game on the PC would be quite illegal. The game was only for arcade, and several billion consoles (Game Boy, Coleco, Atari 2600, NES, etc.)
Well, upon looking at the Mario Tennis character screen I wondered what the two extra characters would be. Since the game seems to be set in the Mario/DK Universe I'm guessing it won't be Link, Kirby or someone like that.
I'm suprised that there are 16 characters. This game should provide months of fun! If you had the pick, what two characters would you want???
I would probably add more DK-related characters since this game mostly has Mario characters. I guess Diddy and Dixie would be nice.
-Little Luigi
P.S. I'll be gone to Viva Las Vegas July 2-5.
Slush: We'd add more DK characters of course, but it's very unlikely that's going to actually happen. I'd expect some Mario characters to fill up the two spaces, like a Shy Guy or something. If I could, I'd put in Diddy in a space, Chad would put in Mumbo, and Our Friend would put in (of course) Ted the boatbuilder from Conker's Pocket Tales. I guess you're in Las Vegas as I write this, and you won't read this until you get back, so I hope you enjoy yourself. And remember, if you do decide to get a hooker, wear protection man! You don't know where those filthy whores have been.........that was wrong. I shouldn't encourage the buying of prostitutes in Letters. Hookers, pimping, prostitution...it's all wrong. There are no morals involved in it...unlike strip clubs! I'll just shut up now...I've made a giant jackass out of myself as it is.
Hey Slush! Did you see Rareware's Scribes yet? It has a new edition out. It
tells you about how to get text in Dinosaur Planet and stuff. There's also a
Klik 'N Play game called Mr. Pants 2000 and a program called Edit Mr. Pants!
By the way, in that character select screenshot for Mario Tennis 64, look in
the top left corner. That feature from Mario Golf 64 where you make your
characters left handed is back! I hope there's a Get Character Mode! Remember
when Metal Mario wasn't announced for Mario Golf 64 until you get him with
every Birdie Badge in the game? Well, certain unannounced characters might
pop up in Mario Tennis 64. Well, that's my 2 cents. See you later, kremling
(alligator)!
-NES Boy
Slush: Yeah, I saw Scribes. I check Rarewhere everyday, not to just get news for the site, but for my personal amusement. As for Mario Tennis, you may be right. They may not announce those two characters, just like they didn't announce Metal Mario. I hope it isn't Metal Mario though in one of those spaces. We don't just need another version of Mario! Give us Giant Donkey Kong or something.
© 2000, Bias International Inc.
Greetings,
I would like to suggest a site for your link's page.
(removed) is a new on demand streaming video network
featuring animation, video games previews(Donkey Kong for Gameboy), music,
movie trailers, and more.
We'd appreciate a link on your site.
I hope to hear from you soon.
Thanks,
-julie smith
Chad: Hahaha! This was actually sent by a person who works at the site! let's see if they want to play hardball, like all the homepage links we've had requested. You will get the link if you can answer me these questions three.
1. The Silly Putty corporation is celebrating a certain milestone anniversary this year. NAME HOW OLD THEY ARE!
2. The popular brand of camera that Our Friend is sounds strikingly like a certain major event to take place later this year. NAME THAT EVENT!
3. If the others were a bit too hard, here's an easy one. Summoning all the might of the Update Archives, tell me what date the site's first update was on.
Good luck.
Once again, It is I, Silver Face here to say something, and due to
ludicrously low internet time, I am forced to turn a rant about animator
idiocy into a useless DKU fact. Did you know that originally the Donkey Kong
arcade game was supposed to about Popeye. Popeye was Mario, Oliveoil was
pauline, and DK SR. was Bluto. Uggh, I can hardly imagine playing Bluto
Country. oh yes, and RETSNOM REHCNAR SKCIK NOMEKOP NI EHT SLATINEG!!!
-ADReyes@aol.com
Slush: Yep, I know that. Even though I would call that more of a useless DK fact than a useless DKU fact (even though it effects the DKU greatly). Shudder. I can only imagine if the game about Popeye didn't fall through. Would we have seen Popeye Country? Starring Popeye's son Sweet Pea (all grown up) and his little buddy Pippy? Yeah, I know....that's stupid. Hey, at least Mario wouldn't have gotten his start either.
In your update today you only said 4 DKU games were coming out this year, but you forgot about Kirby and Zelda.
-Devin529
Chad: You know, Devin, we've tolorated a lot of junk about the DKC TV show in the past from you, but somehow you managed to harness vast amounts of stupidity from some unknown source and cram it into one sentence. You get the congressional Mr. Mooney Award of stupidity for this. Ye-us!
Hey, I have a very wild idea for a game. This game is possible but it something you world see in Japan because it is so silly an idea. Ok, without further ado, here's my new game idea...
Game Title: DK Wrestling
Platform: N64
Game Type: Wrestling
Story: Cranky Kong is starting a big event on the island. It seems every 30 years Donkey Kong Island has a wrestling event. From all corners of the DKU guys and girls come to compete. Choose your character wisely....
Characters: My game has a variety of wrestlers to choose from...
Donkey Kong w/ Candy Kong
Diddy Kong w/Dixie Kong
Dixie Kong w/Diddy Kong
Conker
Banjo w/Kazooie
Tiptup
K. Rool
Kremling
Kiddy Kong
Funky Kong w/Swanky Kong
Klubba
Mumbo Jumbo
Lanky Kong
Hidden Characters:
Cranky Kong
Candy Kong
Swanky Kong
KAOS
Levels: Well, there are certainly great areas to choose from on the island. The Jungle, The Beach, The Mountain top, and the DK Arena. All matches take place in a ring with the letter DK on them.
Object of the game: Defeat all wrestlers to become the WWDKF Heavy Weight Champion. Don't let the WCDKW fool you, this is the belt to have!
This Game is completely made up and is not planned on being released in our universe or the DK Universe. Events in this game did not take place.
Well, I'll see you guys Wednesday when I get back.
Signed,
-Little Luigi
P.S. You guys ever think about having a chat meeting?
Chad: Hmm. Nice idea. While some may call it lame, I rather like the story concept of all the toughest DKU characters fighting for a title. It would really bring the universe (or at least the Earth portion of it) together. But you still forgot Ted the Boatbuilder from Conker's Pocket Tales. Our Friend will hunt you in your sleep.
P.S. Hmm. Maybe when we have a chat room.
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Donkey Kong Universe is an independent game news source with no affiliation to Nintendo, Microsoft, or any other developer. All original content copyright © 1999 - 2008 File Two Productions.
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