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07/21/01
BIG RED HAWAIIAN PENIS!
HELP! I was playing DKC for GBC the other day, and I got to 100% (please , everyone, hold your applause) and thought, 'Hmmm... okay, 100%... WHERE'S THE OTHER 1%?!?!?' So that's when I remembered about the Lost Level that Rare put in DKC for GBC and I want to know... HOW THE (censored) DO YOU GET TO THE (censored) LOST LEVEL?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Okay, and another question: If K. Rool is spelled K. Rool but pronounced cruel and K. Lumsy spelled K. Lumsy, but pronounced clumsy, then shouldn't Krunch be spelled K. Runch and still pronounced crunch? Or Klubba spelled K. Lubba? Or (etc., etc., etc)?
-Eric
Ben: Hold your capitals, you raving lunatic. Big deal, you got 100% - let me award you a medal. You must have missed a bonus level in something - either that or a Sticker Pack. They count for your percentage too. Check all the level names to see that they're all highlighted in red, and if so, have fun checking through each stage for your missing sticker pack - there's nothing that tells you which ones you've gotten and from which level. Ahahaha.
And if you'd gotten 100%, you would have noticed the extra level in Chimp Caverns, called "Necky Nutmare". Remember when I did a whole article on DKCGBC? Remember? Perhaps now? So that's how you get to the Lost Level. You git.
And as for the whole names thing, now you're just thinking too hard. By that logic, you'd have to call yourself E. Ric and still pronounce it Eric, wouldn't you? And no-one gives a damn about K. Lumsy anyway.
Dear "Our Friend"
7-Are you really a camera?
8-And if you were a camera,how do you play the Donkey Kong games?You don't have any arms...
9-Would you,if possible,take pictures of Conker and Berri in bed and making love?
10-And would you sell these pictures to a furry pornographic website?
11-And what would you do with this money?
a-Support DKVine.com?
b-Buy a GameCube?
c-Buy a Game Boy Advance?
d-OR close the Pokémon Departement at Nintendo Co.,Ltd.?
e-All of the above?
12-If Sir Slush went to a train station at 12 o'clock noon,and he was playing his Game Boy Color and a accidentaly went to the traintracks,and a train coming at 50mph on the left lane and Sir Slush walking half a mile per hour on the right lane:How long will it take the train to reach at Sir Slush's position and will it miss Sir Slush or collide into him?(Just kidding!)
13-Have you been dating Cammi Luna lately?
That is all folks!Doc...
What am I saying to the most noble camera?
I should have said,"So looooooong,Cookie!"
Sorry about that "Our Friend",and by the way I sent the first six questions to Misters Chad,Aussie Ben and Andrey...
I hope they like Cammi Lunaaaaa........'s art work!Yeah,that's right!
Don't think I'm Cranky Kong,because I'm...
-Hope(N Forever)
Our Friend: Wonderful. Letters. I hate these, I really do. Damn all you mother hubbards.
7 - No. I'm Chad's Puerto Rican child sex slave. Help me! He's regaining his strength, and he's got the penis rings!
8 - I have other people play them for me. I prefer to watch anyway.
9 - No, but I have an untamed home movie of me last night with a camera named Ashley that you may find interesting if I ever decide to upload it...
10 - Furry pornographic websites can lick me. When will there be "plasticy" porn?
11 - F. Buy and sell your mom's ass.
12 - Slush doesn't play his Game Boy Color in public. He has a purple one, after all.
13 - Who?
Hello Chad,
How are you I am German. I enjoy your site very much. I read it all the time. I would like to know what kind of dinosaurs you get to ride in Star Fox Adventures: Dinosaur Planet? I am really looking forward to this game. Thank you for reading my letter.
-Pyromaniac
Chad: You're not German, you're sitting right across the way from me, you friggin' sod. Anyway, I don't know what you'll be able to ride in SFA. In the N64 DP, I believe there were a few various mounts, but now that Nintendo's gone and bludgeoned originality with a big Japanese mallet, nobody really knows.
When is Banjo-Kazooie: Grunty's Revenge coming out in stores????????? Thanks for your time!!!!!!!!!!!!
-blue_fyre10@hotmail.com
Our Friend: There's no release date yet. And why ask me? I'm the site camera. The ca-me-ra. There are four others to pester about such matters. I despise writing these letters, and I hate all of you!
You are just joking!!!!!!!!
-Songtan88@aol.com
Ben: No, we're intensely serious. We do print everything we get in our mailboxes. Especially your email address if you don't give us a name.
How do I post on the #@$% message board?!
-Razorclaw
Slush: Evidently you figured it out. It's just a simple matter of registering, typing some words, and posting..
What happened? I traveled to the North Pole, tossed my message in, and you
guys never replied! Damn postal service! Anyway, I've got an idea! How about
introducing a Hoaxes section? These things are everywhere in the Sonic
community. Basically, you capture a screenshot of a game, whether by a video
card or by emulation, and you alter it to make things that don't normally
happen!
Example: Get a shot of Donkey Kong Country, with just DK on screen. Get a
shot of DKC 2, with Dixie on screen. Cut Dixie of DKC2 screenshot, paste near
DK in DKC screenshot, and viola! You've got Dixie in DKC!
They can get a lot deeper than this, though! You could have a screen with
DK, Diddy, and Dixie, and everything except Dixie's face it covered with,
say, the giant banana that appeares in DKC when you defeat a boss turned on
it's side. Dixie has an annoyed expression, and we see why as we look at DK,
who's holding her clothes while laughing. Diddy, meanwhile, is sitting there
gawking at Dixie.
Tell me what you think of this!
Great site! See ya!
-UGCS
Chad: ............
Hallo DK Vine,
1. First off, I wanted to ask: Have you ever played Rayman 2? It is as good
as non-DKU platformers get. Of course, it's made by French people, and you,
and them, and...um...yah.
2. Oh yes, you love Mr. Fischer's music, don't you? Yes, you do. Well, guess
what? E. Fischer's A WOMAN! Aha! Look in B-T credits! A WOMAN! EVELINE!!
Hahaha! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa.
3. Send me a slap via e-mail if I'm wrong, but the new Artwork page seems
fairly biased in favor of those who have scanners to scan their pencil
pictures. I have to admit, Klawkat42, Cammi, Panu and everyone all deserve
extra recognition, but THIS? I have some scribbles I'm dyin' to share, but
I'm stuck with Paint...poor...unfortunate...scanner-less. They're expensive,
man! Besides, I know what you mean by *effort-ful* pictures, but I'll have
you know I put a lot of effort into "Conker Instinct." You can keep the
Artist Galleries, but I suggest merging Artwork and ABD back together. And
if...er...whoever the heck doesn't like sharing grounds with the ugly
commoners, that's tough - 'cuz we're citizens of the DKU too.
4. "Diddy Kong 2010"?!? Uh...I'm sorry Little Luigi, but how the $^@*# did
that get on the primary Artwork page???
5. Umm...does Andrey REALLY hate every other DKU game, or is it merely an
excuse to be evil and maniacal?
6. What is UP with that DK64 Mecha-Piranha??? I've tried just about (or
completely?) everything to beat it, and nothing works.
7. What will seven be? Umm...oh yeah. Rar!!
-JetDog (Y2Kong)
Slush: 1: Nope.
2: I don't know. Chad's the one who knows all the composers names. He's a freak that way. It doesn't shatter my world that he's a woman.
3: I don't know. Chad's the one who wanted to change the Artwork page. He's a freak that way. It doesn't shatter my world that it's biased.
4: I'm not Little Luigi. Little Luigi was made into sausages in a Chicago meat factory.
5: No, he simply takes minor faults from the games and explodes them, trashing the games in question for good fun.
6: Swim into his mouth as Diddy. Once your in, shoot the vents in the mechanical heart three times before running out of time.
7: BIG RED HAWAIIAN PENIS!
Thanks for the nice comments on my art. I'll come up with something better, you'll see! GYAHAHAHAHAHA!
..Well, at least my art was good enough to get on your page. I feel kind of happy, actually. I also laughed when I read your comment. Oh well...I promise to try harder next time. The idea was very friggin stupid, I admit. I was playing golf when my dad when I thought of the idea. Ah, well. I'm pretty much learning how to draw at the moment...
Oh yeah, if you didn't see it on the Bulletin Board, I joined Rave 3's forum mainly to ask NOARushmore some questions. Here's his response to my question about Banjo in SSB Melee(also posted on the DKVine BB):
"In any case, no word on whether or not we'll see Banjo (or any other Rare characters) in SSB."
Well, I'll try to keep you updated on some DKU Relevent things that he says. I'll keep practicing until I can get onto the Artwork(not by definition) page, which shall be hopefully soon.
-Super Shy Guy
PS: Thanks for comparing my art to the Hyakugojyuuichi! video. I find that humorous in an extremely stupid way.
Chad: No word on their inclusion? HOT DAMN, stop the presses! This is going on page one!
P.S. Ben's the one who did that. Don't associate me with that horrid thing.
Ben: Damn right I did. It's tough when you don't even get credit for the stupid things you did on the site. No, wait...
Don't you think that Schroe.org should be in your links? Yes, I think you do.
-Amanda Marie Schroeder, a.k.a ˇKablooie!, evil twin of Kazooie (Bwaa ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaa!)
Ben: ...but it's already in the Links... Yes, it's amazing what subtle distraction, an AOL Trial CD/coaster and a little rubbing alcohol can do.
Regarding the DKC show and its (lack of) place in the DKU...don't you think there's something wrong with that?
Here you have all these games that fit perfectly into one 'universe,' your DKU. And along comes the tv show. Because it doesn't fit the DKU, there is no attempt to explain it. You just deny its existence.
And I quote: "The Crystal Coconut on the show does not exist in the Donkey Kong Universe."
My question is: why not? Because you guys didn't LIKE the show? The fact is, it IS Donkey Kong. And this whole DKU thing ruins alot of opportunities for alot of people. All they read is: oh, the DK show sucks, and it has no meaning to the universe.
But alot of people actuall like it, and there are a lot of people who will never find out if they like it because they're so discouraged from watching it.
So I guess the DKC Tv show is not in the DKU because it conflicts with so many other DKU ideas, right? Well I say there's no need to classify everything, and have everything make sense. They're games; they don't have to make sense. That's part of their charm.
Just enjoy the damn games, that's what I say.
-Xak Hammeron
Slush: Well said. I'll enjoy the damn games, with emphasis on games. This isn't the Star Wars Expanded Universe we're talking about here. This is Donkey Kong. Non-video game material spawned off from a game series is almost always apocryphal. The Mario movie was not part of the Mario game series. It didn't exist in its continuity. We're a site that covers games, not a hokey Disney-esque singalong. It's NOT Donkey Kong. It's nothing like the Donkey Kong I know. It's just a cheap attempt to cash in on a franchise in the hands of people that knew nothing (or didn't care) about the subject at hand.
But I'll take you up on your challenge. If we've "discouraged" any of our readers to not watch the show, then we now go back on our word. Watch the show. We encourage all of you out there to do so. It's the greatest thing since Little Debbie Zebra Cakes. Seriously. Then e-mail us your opinions of it, and we'll see what you thought.
Hello Chad,
It's me again. Time to make some comments. Maybe you explain why Nintendo
left Banjo out of SSB Melee. I wish they would put him along w/ Kazooie so we
don't have to wait a long time to see a glimpse of them on the Gamecube.
Anyways, If the Tricky from SFA: Dinosaur Planet is the same Tricky from DKR,
then how did he get from Tiger Isle to the Dinosaur Planet? Did he use the
lighthouse rocket or something? And how can he be a kid in DP if he's an
adult in DKR? Try answering that one smart arse.
-Ness554@aol.com
PS:...........(I'll probably get that stupid award for this.)
Chad: Eh, they might show up as one of those stupid trophies. God knows they've got everything else.
And about Tricky, he's obviously a lot younger in DP, so that game precedes DKR, continuity-wise. Or he went back to the future or something, whatever. It's DKU, so shut your head.
P.S. Nobody who asks for it ever gets it. Why can't you people see this? Now you've just gone and made yourself look stupid.
So, you're still considering Dinsaur Planet DKU? I don't think I'm gonna argue anymore, we all have our own opinions on what should and shouldn't be allowed as DKU.
How come there was no news on Conker's Other Bad Day? BaronKrusha was telling me that Chris Seavor visited YBK's message board and said it would be previewed at E3. Methinks he was tricked. I just hope the game comes to fruition.(That and a JFG 2, with realistic Tribal deaths.)
All right, I think it's understandable to say this:Even at its early stage, it's easy to tell that Donkey Kong Racing is going to be amazing. From what the demo video showed, it's going to be the TRUE return to DK. So many of the old characters and locations are returning(I pray for Dixie), and there's a good chance that Wizpig may return.
Waitaminnut....You're not counting Sabrewulf as DKU because Sabreman was first in the original game, yet the DKU is based on Donkey Kong, a character who first appeared in old Miyamoto games you don't count?(As DK Jr. though.)
SSB Melee...Playing as Bowser is gonna kick serious arse. I'm interested as to what other characters may return(Ted...Ted...Ted...). And did you notice in a screenshot that Peach can throw Toad?
Diddy Kong Pilot looks cool as well. We're finally getting Dixie back, along with "Cletus Kong". The graphics look pretty cool for such an early stage.
Grunty's Revenge, well...The graphics don't look spectacular to me, but if some good gameplay is proven to be behind it, I'll be interested.
And on a different note, which non-DKU GCN game are you looking forward to most? A tie between Luigi's Mansion and Metroid Prime for me.
-Behonkiss
P.S.Last night I dreamed that Rare revealed DoKR had Mickey Mouse characters in it, and that the game was about the Kongs visiting Disneyland "for Pete's racing tournament." As I was chuckling to myself, "What's the Vine gonna think of this?", I woke up. It's funny because those kind of dreams have happened before.
Chad: Ah, sir.. we invented the term DKU, so I do believe that gives us precidence in deciding what's allowed in it.
Kurss Seevor visitsed YBK adn es not tlaking on the missuge boreds heeer?!?/ WYE hte HELLL NOWT!!!! And the tribal deaths in JFG were plenty realistic.
Yes, I think we all agree that DoKR will be just what the DKU needs. Speed, nostalgic locales, and plenty of fecal flinging. Since this is the sequel to DKR, and Taj is included as playable (but oddly enough, not riding a flying carpet), I think it's safe to assume that Wizpig is the chief nemesis. Also, I personally will wager on K. Rool's inclusion. There has to be a reason for bringing the fight over to Donkey Kong Island. Eh, what the hell, just as long as they remix the old Kremlantis theme for its corresponding DoKR level, I'll be happy.
The DKU began when Rare took control of the license. Shut your face.
Yes, I noticed Peach can throw Toad. I also noticed that they once again f-cked up Peach's Castle. I swear, there must be fifty of those things.
Yes, DKP looks very nice.
Grunty's Revenge should be a spectacular low-lit collection fest through worlds we've already traversed to their fullest in 3-D. FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!!!
For me, a tie between Pikmin and Eternal Darkness.
P.S. The other night I dreampt that Captain Hook and a handicapped man named Bill ran C&D Metal Recyclers down on Genoa Redbluff, and wouldn't let me leave. They tried to tempt me with two dollar bills, but I would'nt cave, so they locked me in the bathroom. It had a toilet made of metal, with a roll of two dollar bills.
Hey! I was wondering if you knew where i could download a copy of the donkey kong 64 manual. i bought the game used and it came without a manual, and well, im confused. so if you could do that for me, id greatly appreciate it. by the way, your site rocks!
Thanks,
-Mindy Milosch
Ben: No, I have absolutely no idea where you can download a copy of the Donkey Kong 64 manual. I'm not a frigging oracle, you know. The game's pretty straightforward anyway, seeing as Rare realises that no-one nowadays even bothers to READ manuals and includes the instructions once aquire a new move, item, etc. But if you still want the manual, the only place I can think of off the top of my head is www.nintendostore.com. So there you go.
Just a question, where did you find all the Donkey Kong Country rendered pics
?
There aren't from "rareware.com", so ?
-Gollum1982@aol.com
Chad: Behonkiss, you could learn to write letters from this guy.
Hey there, it's me again, but this time I have different questions and I would thank you about the Kongs's relatives .
1. How do you pronounce Glimmer?
2. Why K. Rool have one red eye?
3. Can ya make more DK64 midis such as Cranky's lab, Funky's store and other things?
4. How Donkey Kong Gamecube will be?
5. What differences you think that have between the DKC game and the DKC cartoon show?
I hope you"ll ask.
-ani2000@ig.com.b
Slush: Ani? No . . . no . . . Jake Llyod induced flashback . . . I'm going back . . . back two years . . . it burns . . .
"I'll try spinning! That's a good trick!"
"BIG RED HAWAIIAN PENIS!"
I'm back. I'll get those Harlem Globetrotters for installing that Wayback Machine in my brain...
1: Glim-mer. Glim. Mer. (glim'er)
2: We could write a long and storied history how his eye decided to immigrate from Timber's Island to Donkey Kong Island, but instead, I think we'll just go with, "dunno."
3: Probably sometime down the road (even though we don't make our MIDIs), but we're concentrating on building our MP3 library, and DKJV Radio at the moment.
4: BIG RED HAWAIIAN PENIS!
5: We've covered this time and time again. Just check the Letters Archives for the very first edition of Letters for a long-winded list.
Hey Ben,
Where have you been, it's been a pretty long time. It's been all Chad, Andrey and Slush at dkvine.
-JayJay
Ben: It has been a long time...but never fear, I'm back - and bigger than a breadbox! (Three breadboxes, even!) No points go to whoever guesses what game THAT obscure quote was from. Anyway, you can see that things are really kicking... or something, and will just get better around August when the 'cube is launched in Japan. Wheee!
Chad: ....or September, when it's launched in Japan. You'll have to excuse Ben. He's a drunk-on-command.
http://www.videogamedc.com/Movies/DKC/dkc.html created by Randy Solem. From
www.videogamedc.com.
-From Ben Cartledge.
Please let me know what you think of it.
Slush: I have to admit. That was pretty funny. It scored points with me from the start when I saw our old logo lettering for the movie's logo.
Dear Chad,
Hi, I've been viewing your site for a while now and this is my first letter.
I've just got a few questions/comments:
1. What is it with Rare and repeated ideas? The DKC trilogy featured the
main villain (K. Rool) changing appearances from game to game, and now it
looks like Gruntilda is doing the exact same thing with the Banjo games.
Also, DK64, DKR, and BK all featured a large statue of the main villain's
head in the overworld, and at some point you have to go through the mouth.
WHY CAN'T THEY THINK OF NEW IDEAS?
2. In Nintendo Power they mentioned that DKP will have hidden characters.
Does anyone have any information about who they are?
3. If Rare decides to keep making more SFA games after DP, will you continue
to cover them even if Tricky isn't in them? Will how much you like DP have
any effect on this?
4. Which non-DKU games are you most looking forward to for GAMECUBE?
5. Doesn't it suck that you'll need a whole nother GBA to play multiplayer?
My brother and I love playing against each other in video games, but in
order for us to do this on GBA, we'd have to buy two GBA's just for
multiplayer, and we live in the same house!
Well, I think that's it.
-Bob Gray
Chad: 1. No. Apparently every Rare game is merely the previous one with different textures. Don't think I didn't notice that Blast Corps and Goldeneye were the same damn thing.
2. I can't find my copy of NP to vouch for that, but no, we don't know what the hidden character(s) will be.
3. If there's a character in them introduced in SFA, like Krystal, then we will cover them.
4. Again? Fine, Pikmin and Eternal Darkness.
5. Yeah, you know, I really wish they had made the GBA twice as big, and had the casing house two motherboards and LCD screens. That would have been much more practical.
Chad (if thats your real name! :P)-
I'm a big fan of the Jungle Vine and I know u guys specialize in Rareware
games so that's why I'm sending u this stuff. I'm a Nintendo Power
Subscriber and when I saw the cheats for the secret eggs and ice key i went
giddy, but i thought that these must be the keys to something completely
different. Well, I was staying at a friend's place and we were trying to
solve this mystery and here's what we found (I'll keep u posted as things
move along):
1. When you get every single item you are left with many mumbo tokens
showing that mumbo may be an important part of this, like in Banjo-Tooie. I
think this is because he may or may not transform u into something that gets
u to this "other world" (keep reading to find out what that is).
2. After u get all the Jiggies and complete all the puzzles (including the
red honeycomb puzzle)u r left with two puzzle pieces showing that u might
need to complete another puzzle, maybe to get to the "other world".
3. If u stand on top of Spiral Mountain or on top of the tree closest to
Gruntilda's Lair and the waterfalls and look up on the top of the small
waterfall u see a cave at the end of the small stream leading to the fall.
In Banjo-Tooie u r able to go there but maybe u can in Banjo-Kazooie too,
seeing as though it is there.
4. If u look on the outer cliff-like walls of Spiral Mountain u see Banjo's
head in a diamond, but the head is usually stretched out or something. If u
look atop the tree stumps, where you would find the red egg in Banjo-Tooie,
u will see a perfect Banjo head in a perfect diamond. This is the only one
of it's kind that's perfect!
5. Tootie wants to go on an adventure in the beginning and the bridge to
Grunty's Lair is collapsed so she must be referring to you two going up to
the cave on the top of the small fall, seeing as though that's the place u
can go, with the exception of the Spiral Mountain, but what adventure lies
in wait there?
Well, thanx for reading my letter, hoped u like it and i'll keep u guys
posted as i continue to work on this mystery. See ya!
-That Guy Over There
Chad: The answer to Ston 'N' Swop, and all life in general, is 42.
Hi! It's me. Sorry about my last e-mail. I couldn't get my hotmail inbox
on MSN to work. On my last e-mail, I showed you a few systems. Yes, I will
be giving pointers, etc. on those games along with a few others I have that
I forgot to mention. The following are just some history lessons about the
systems that each featured a DK game at one point or time.
Atari 2600
Way back in 1978, Atari created a 4-bit gaming system called the Atari 2600.
The system's games were usally based off of original arcade games like
Pac-Man. Others were just orginal games that were like arcade games, but
were not based on anything else. In 1983, Atari 2600 were so out of date
sitting next to the new 8-bit systems, the NES, that Atari quit making
systems. Eventually, they came out with the Jaguar, but it was a flop, &
Atari began just making games for different systems.
Game & Watch Games
Before the Atari 2600 quit selling, Nintendo started their business in 1980
selling small handheld games that showed the time when not playing the
game(thus the name Game & Watch). They quit selling around an early 1984
when Nintendo produced it's NES. Those who still have one of these games
are lucky, because they are worth some cash & are also rare to find. More &
DK made thier first game in 1980 on one of these machines, but back then,
Mario was known as Jumpman. Many of the games were brought back to life in
the Game & Watch Gallery series for Game Boy.
Nintendo Entertainment System
In 1984, Nintendo created thier first system. The NES was an 8-bit system
that pretty much put the Atari 2600 off the shelves. The NES revelutionized
gaming history by introducing new platforms to different games. Action,
Puzzle, & Arcade are a few examples.
Game Boy Portable System
In 1986, Nintendo created the first Handheld gaming system, the Game Boy.
The Game Boy was a mixture of an NES, due to it's 8-bit technology, & a Game
& Watch, due to the Liquid Color Display (LCD) & portability). The system
was small, but allowed players to play games on the go! The orginal Game
Boy can now only be found at flea markets
Super Nintendo Entertainment System
The proceeder of the orginal NES, the SNES didn't come out until at least
1991. While Sega had already created a 16-bit machine while Nintendo was
far behind in technology with thier 8-bit systems, Game Boy & the NES.
Nintendo finally had the money to make a 16-bit system around 1990.
Eventually, it became so popular that Sega decided to nik Nintendo in the
balls by creating Game Gear, a system like Game Boy only the 8-bit system
contained better graphics & color.
Virtual Boy Virtual Reality System
Nintendo fought back at the Game Gear in 1992 by creating a virtual reality
system, The Virtual Boy. The system featured infrared LCD display.
Nintendo knew it was dangerous, but created the system anyway (Infrared
lighting can cause color or total blindness if put near the eyes too long).
Each game was under vitural reality format & was almost in 3-D. It featured
an automatic shutdown feature that would turn the game off in about 5
minutes. Sad, but true.
Super Game Boy & Game Boy Pocket System
When Virtual Boy became a flop, Nintendo began getting complaints. These
compliants talked about how Game Boy was to big for pockets & that the
screen always shows games blurred. In 1994, Nintendo created the Super Game
Boy which showed games enlarged & clear in color on the Super Nintendo, &
the Game Boy Pocket that allowed players to stick the system in thier pocket
& see each game clearer.
Nintendo 64 Entertainment System
In 1995, Sega released a 3-D system known as the Sega Saturn. Nintendo's
technology was still lame, but in 1996 came out with the N64, A.K.A. The Fun
Machine. Unlike Saturn, Nintendo didn't use CDs, but stuck to catridges.
This made many people happy since they didn't have to wait for 700 years for
their game to load. The games featured polygonal figures & excellent
backgrounds.
Game Boy Color System
In 1997, Nintendo generated enough cash & technology to yet again improve
Game Boy. The Game Boy Color is similar to Game Boy Pocket only it had
Color & was a slight bigger, but still fit in a pocket. While many games
produced thousands of different colors (the new games), others only had a 4
color palette to work with. Newer games were not gray. They either came in
freaky colors or black (which means they work on any system) or clear (which
means it can only be played o GBC).
Game Boy Advance
This system just came out this year. This 32-bit system not only a mix of
GBC & SNES, but can also be hooked up to Nintendo’s other new system to beat
down PS2 & Dreamcast, The Game Cube. This system allows players to play any
Game Boy Cartridge along with any new GBA titles that are coming out.
Nintendo Game Cube System
Nintendo’s first CD system. Each game CD is said to have at least enough
memory to put 122 Super Mario 64 games on it. Seeing is believing. Each
screenshot that apperas in gaming magazines are actually taken from real
animations & game play. Detail is big thing for each game. DK & Fox
actually are detailed to the point where you can see every hair on their
bodies. If you look closely at a now detailed Mario & Luigi, you can see
the hems & stitching of their clothes!
-William Nichols
Our Friend: What the Hell? Okay, I'm not going to pick this apart (whatever this is) piece by piece, but there's one part I have to bash, or Slush and Chad would kill me, with them being the Virtual Boy aficionados that they are.
"It featured
an automatic shutdown feature that would turn the game off in about 5
minutes. Sad, but true."
Sad, but false. It was an automatic PAUSE feature that would pause the game about every ten to fifteen minutes, and it was always an option to turn off the feature at the very start of every Virtual Boy game. I guess you never played a Virtual Boy, huh?
Dear Mr. Aussie Ben
Could you answer these questions?
1-...(Sorry,I sent this one to Mr. Chad.)
2-At E3,RareWare annouced a Game Boy Advance title called Sabre Wulf which features Sabreman who made a cameo appearance in Banjo-Tooie.How come it's not at the Games Section?
3-And speaking of Sabre Wulf:Was he the wolf,Sabre,who was the former hero of the original Dinosaur Planet?
Expect more from me....
-Hope(N Forever)
Ben: Sure, I'll answer your questions - just so long as you don't ask me anything inane. I'm not in the mood today, as my other letters are probably demonstrating.
1. Oh yes. That was a GREAT start.
2. You expect me to believe that individual software products can make games now? Lies. Next you'll be telling me that Square will be making motion pictures. But seriously, I would normally get Chad to answer this question. And if he was to answer you, he'd probably say:
"You moron, if you had half a brain you would realise that Sabreman came out in Ultimate's Sabreman back in the early 80's, making Sabreman's cameo appearance in Banjo-Tooie pointless and irrelevent to Banjo-Tooie aside from the fact that it hyped up idiots like you and IGN who thought that his next game was going to be on the GameCube and not the Gameboy Advance."
3. This would be my cue to pass this question off to Slush, who would quite possibly say something like:
"You're a complete asswipe. No, of course Sabre is in no way related to Sabreman. First and foremost, because they say and spell their names differently. Also because of the fact that Sabre is a fox and Sabreman is a FRIGGING HUMAN BEING, YOU COMPLETE TOSSER."
But that's just what I'd think they'd say. I can't speak for them.
Expect more from you? Great. I'm ripe with anticipation. (No prizes for that obscure quote either.)
Wazzup!? This is Billy. You may call me the Game Master. I will be sending you codes, tips, secrets, & corrections to add to your many different areas. Please note, I only have the following games listed below, but I sure as hell know a lot about them. Feel free to e-mail me at anytime at thegamemaster8@hotmail.com with questions or comments.
DK Games I have:
BR>
Atari 2600 (Yes the retro system)
------------------------------------------------
Donkey Kong
Super Nintendo
----------------------
Donkey Kong Country
Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kongquest
Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie's Double Trouble
Super Mario Go-Kart (DK Jr. makes an appearence)
Game Boy
---------------
Donkey Kong Land
Donkey Kong Land 2: Diddy's Kongquest
Donkey Kong Land III: A Race Against Time
Nintendo 64
-----------------
Donkey Kong 64
-William Nichols
Our Friend: First you blow that Virtual Boy review, and now you're claiming that DKL2 and DKL III actually had post-release subtitles? Not much of a game master, are we? Captain N, you are not.
Chad: Actually, they did have subtitles. Still, this guy's a total assface.
Slush: I think Our Friend is right, Chad. They had subtitles before they were released, but they were dropped from the final name. Nintendo's site just never bothered to change that fact.
Hey Chad,
Just thought I send a letter a week after you hurrican
and flood. Your probably still recovering or
something. I'm just curious, what was it like? Can
you describe what happenned? It can be like the behind
the scene thing you and Slush used to do.
Hope you and your family make a full recovery
-JayJay
Chad: Yes, certainly, here's a pictoral journey through the pain and cramped annoyance of my big fun local flood. Keep in mind that none of the people are me, and this was the morning-after-the-night-it-happened, so the water had gone down several feet. Yay.
Ben: Geez. Chad goes missing for three days and sympathy and public rescue attempts are offered. I "go missing" for a week, and nobody gives a damn. Pardon me if I feel a bit bitter.
dudes wassup iwas just scrollin through ur site today and i thought,'this is a nice site' a hell lot better than our flipbooks of elementry, junior high,...............oh hell and high school. in ne case its a sweet site
oh yeah LONG LIVE KENNY(OPTIMAL PRIME)
-podimannil@email.msn.com
Chad: You and I both know my flipbook cartoons from Junior High kicked more ass than this site.
Duuuhhhhzzz you art fart duuuhhhhzz your art fart?
-David Dufault
Ben: I SWEAR I am not making these letters up. Can I shoot this guy now, or do I have to wait till I get home?
If I piss you off really bad, will we get one sooner?
Andrey's gonna be gone for a while, and I really want another!
-Ben Cartledge
Slush: Okay, but first you have to eat your vegetables. BIG RED HAWAIIAN PENIS!
Hey, since youse all cover DKC stuff, i was wondering if you'd know...
I've got this special 5-minute timed version of Donkey Kong Country that Nintendo/Rare made for a Blockbuster video video game competition-
After the competition, Nintendo sold a bunch of em through a catalog of theirs. I was wondering, if you know about this, just how rare this game is- I called and emailed Nintendo and they have basically no information on it...
Thanx
-Eric
Chad: I own one of 'em, but it's pretty worthless. I don't know why I bought it, really. I've been able to get all the way to Barel Cannon Canyon in the alloted five minutes, though, so it's good for empty bragging.
Hey Chad,
I really do love your web site. I also love the way you present all of
your material. That is the reason why I'm writing you. I need to make a
web site. Not just any web site but a kick ass one! The only problem is
that I know this much about making a web site " ". I
know....pretty self explanatory. I know that you are the master of web
sites...your site is proof of that. So I'm asking for your help. If
there is anything that you can do....I would really appreciate it! I
know you have a busy schedule...but all I'm asking is that you teach me.
I really am a quick learner! Well, I hope your summer is going great and
that you have a fun time. I'll talk with you later. Be good
-Joshua Anthony Gill
Chad: You hear that, Slush? I am the master of websites.
On another note, why the hell did all the people from my past decide that this would be the Letters edition in which to e-mail me? It's kind of creepy.
you are so funny. i loveeee your story
-Uhh justine
Slush: Right.
dk story that is ;D
-Uhh justine
Slush: What about my great American novel?
how come u never emailed me back. thanks.. i actually thought you were cool.
-Uhh justine
Slush: I work on a Donkey Kong site. Yeah, I'm a real "Fonz" alright.
It burnssssssss....more than DK64....,
I knew about the Dinosaur Planet reference even before the game title
transformed into the world of Star Fox. I thought it was just common
knowledge...? Anyway, it's no biggie. Dinosaur Planet isn't exactly the most
original name in the world, I'm sure it has come up many times for ideas in
games and such. In my opinion it is a coincidence or - at most - a small
influence on the actual carry-over on Rare's game. However, it really isn't
as earth-shattering as you make it out to be. Then again, you really don't
have any REAL NEWS to report on, so that might also contribute to the
infestation of crap (wholesome crap, the kind of crap you can be proud of).
I was wondering to myself after seeing the tragedy that was Tomb Raider,
"If they were to make a movie out of a Rare game, which game would / should
it be?" Sure, there is Donkey Kong, but we've all seen the television show.
So why not make a movie about Jet Force Gemini? What's more, you and the rest
of the DKVine staff would be the cast! With Slush as Juno, you as Vela, and
Ben as Lupus, you could team up and save the tribals (readers of DKVine) from
Andrey, aka Mizar. I think Our Friend fits the profile of Floyd, except he
might have to tone down his raging sexual hormones.
Hey, this site could use an Academy Award, no?
-SirNick, not to be confused with Count Chocula
Chad: There should be a Conker movie.
Hmm... go to the 10/99 updates, and look at the bottom of the page. You'll
see a bit of the old DKVine. Please don't fix it. In fact, make a feature
showing the pre-2001 DKV.
-Hecklers.com: Dragonball PU
Chad: A feature? No thanks. But yes, it is pretty neat. I still have the old site template somewhere on my ever-increasing-for-no-apparent-reason harddrive.
Some Characters I Would've Liked to See in BFD
The first one is T.T. I swear he was probably the most annoying character in
DKR besides Taj. He should make an appearance and be killed.
I have to agree with you about Queen B. and King Zing, that would've made a
lot more sense.
Instead of Beardy the scarecrow, it should be Banjo, because it would be
really funny to see him fall asleep and hit him with the frying pan.
Since Candy became sort of a mature character in DK64, she should be in there
and get in some sort of bitch fight with Berri.
-Devin
Slush: After all that work I did to get T.T. as a playable character in DKR, he better not ever be killed.
*sigh*
In your Pantswatch feature, how did you miss the Ants As Pants code from Jet Force Gemini? Ingrates...
And don't ask me for a screen. I don't have one. I'm just shocked that you missed it...
-Nate @ RareOps
Chad: Hahaha, this is just pathetic. Ladies and gentlemen, the person RareOps hired to replace Andrey. |
Dear Chad ( or whomever )
Hi. This is my first time writing to the vine. I must say, your site is great. I have a few questions & statements for you.
1-I have found a mistake in DK64. All through my 12 years of life on this earth (or most of it), I have known K.Rool to have three toes. When I beat King K.Rool with Tiny, I was in a state of shock, from which I took a long time to recover from. HE HAD 4 TOES!!!!! EXPLAIN THAT!!!!!
2-The "K" in K.Rool is there to make it sound like cruel. K (c) Rool (ruel).
3-Baron K.Roolenstein is not K.Rool. No, I'm not mad -- well, maybe a little ;) -- and here's why:
Reason 1: K.Rool's bloated eye has always been on his left side. K.Roolenstein's bloated eye is his left side.
Reason 2: K.Roolenstein says he has a wife. K.Rool Doesn't.
Reason 3: DKC3 takes place in the northern kemesphere, with northern kremesphere kremlings, not traditional ones.
Reason 4: Crocodile Isle 2 in DK64 took more time to build then there was between DKC3 and DK64, as there was about 2 years between these two and CI2 took at least three to build. So he must have started BEFORE DKC3 took place and worked on it during DKC3 with HIS (above) kremlings.
Thanks a lot!
-Smart4ever v.2
Chad: 1. I already did.
2. *slaps head* Of course!
3. .....Baron K. Roolenstein is K. Rool.
God Bless You for making this website. Heres some questions:
1. Is there a Jinjo queen?
2. Is there a full mp3 of Creepy Castle of Donkey Kong 64?
3. Is there a full mp3 of the Mad Monster Mansion interior?
-Gareth Barsby
Our Friend: I didn't make this website. Dumb and Dumber did.
1. I'm sure there's a Jinjo queen, what with the homosexual characters already introduced in the Banjo world.
2. On that radio station of ours. If one isn't found anywhere else on the site, specifically the DK64 section, we haven't added it yet.
3. See above.
My dear friend, it has come to my attention that we have grown apart. I so rarely talk to you anymore, blah blah blah...No one puts ME on their bloody allow lists on AIM...
Well, of course, this is the sort blinkered philistine pig-ignorance I've come to expect from you non-creative garbage...You sit there on your loathsome spotty behinds squeezing blackheads, not caring a tinker's cuss for the strugging artist. You excrement...You whining, hypocritical toadies with your color TV sets and your Tony Jacklin golf clubs and your bleeding masonic secret handshakes. You wouldn't let me join, would you, you blackballing bastards.
Forgive me about the Monty Python quote. BUT DO YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE TOO GOOD TO TALK TO ME ON AIM?! HUH?! Well you're not! Mr. Guy with a Fancy DKU website! YOU CAN SHOVE YOUR BLOODY ALLOW LIST UP YOUR ARSE! Nobody loves The Carter anymore...
I'm sorry, but I had to get that off of my chest. I was only half serious. And you're right; THE WORLD SUCKS.
-Sir Carter aka Super Shy Guy
Chad: Er... okay, I wasn't quite expecting that... The reason I blocked you and many other people, is because they kept asking me when the update will be, what will it be, and just  being generally annoying. I'm not 'too good' for you by any means. So for being a total ass, I think you deserve the Mr. Mooney award (of total assdom). Ye-us!
Hey, I like your Top 10 list. A lot of my favs are missing though (DKC1 Factory, DKC2 Mainsails, DKC2 Beehive, etc). Anyway, I was wondering if you knew where I could find good mp3's or wavs of more DKC music. I think the music in DKC is some of the greatest video game music of all time, and I would love to have the entire 'soundtrack' to the first two games.
-thistletooth@home.com
Chad: Hah, this was sent the day before we started DKJV Radio. So you can go there for a bunch of DKU music. And as for the Top 10 DKu Melodies thing, we may have to revise that soon. I can't believe we didn't put Jib Jig as the number one song.
I gotta say that I like the radio. It's a great idea to be able to conveniently listen to some of the greatest video game music ever while I surf, and I like your staff comments.(You sound creepily like I imagined you...)I look forward to hearing the live chats.
What do you predict next for DKVine? You don't have to tell me specific top secret projects(Which the radio and HoK were), just give me a vague idea, like "more interactive" or "much more kick-arse looking", etc.
I just want to say that I hope I'm not the only one exploding with the anticipation of all the DKU/NU titles slated for the GCN launch and future. Thank you very much
-Behonkiss
Chad: Thanks. There should be more staff comments up as soon as we can be bothered to record them. Life's hectic, what, with driving all across the bleeding city of Houston in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt at getting Jurassic Park 3 premiere tickets.
I can't tell you what "big projects" we're working on, because there really are none. These things are usually just spur-of-the-moment. And I can assure you, there is no follow-up game or otherwise large project for the second birthday of the site. At least not to my knowledge.
And I think you are the only one anticipating EVERY Nintendo / Rare game for GCN. Luigi's Mansion looks completely crap, and I can't believe they're making another Mario Kart game. Ugh.
I have a Nokia 8890 and I wonder where do I go to enter all of the code to have a new songs? I have lots of code but dont know where to start??? I do not see any option that I can programming in there. Please help!
-Nhan Pham
Ben: Right. That's it. Stupid people who can't use their own phones or read their phone manuals are where I draw the line.
*runs out in disgust*
A few questions about your links page. It's very strange.
1. A Monty Python fan, are you? Got enough shrubberies now?
2. You're not going to give me a link after I said that, are you? I won't ask.
Thank you for letting me waste your time.
-Mike
Slush: 1: I don't know. Chad's the one who knows all the Monty Python quotes. He's a freak that way. It doesn't shatter my world that he talks about swallows.
2: BIG RED HAWAIIAN PENIS!
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