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The DKU






 
 
   



08/02/00



Damn you. Some asshole has been plagarizing my work. And I will say f--k as many times as I want to! I'm venting. What's more, Our Friend can lick my ass.
What the hell did I just write?
Maybe I'll make you a stupid pic for the artwork section or something. BOREDOM.
-Megu

Chad: Right. We anxiously await your artwork!



THE PROBLEMS WITH LORD HARRY, PART 2:THE OTHER VOICES AND DKU

All right, let's continue...

Diddy and Dixie:When I heard these two speaking for the first time, my heart stopped and I barfed my cereal on the TV screen. This could NOT be D&D. I had hoped(and heard)that actual kids would be used for the monkeys. This is what I always imagined them to sound like. Instead, we get something worse then I can imagine. The two are played by adults with excrutiatingly high voices. It is grating on the ears and impossible to believe. Their personalities are annoying, whiny little monkeys. And don't get me started on their singing...*shakes head*

Cranky:UGH! Cranky sounds disgusting. He sounds like a 500-year-old Ed Asner with a major frog in his throat. This voice is about as pleasant to hear as Teletubbies screaming up your arse. Cranky's personality is bad, also. He's too HELPFUL! He insults everyone much less, gives them advice on everything, and makes special potions in his lab(Why was that in DK64?!?). There is no mention of his video game accomplishments, or games in general. This isn't Cranky Kong.

Funky:His personality wasn't too bad(Still the same carefree surfer dude)but except for one plane, he never, EVER constructs anything in the show. He also looks completely different. His fur is yellow and his face brownish-tan, and he never, EVER takes his glasses off! His voice sucks, too. He sounds like some Jamaican guy, not like the simple "surfer dude" type he is in the DKU. Though this guy has good acting skills and can sing OK, they really should have used a guy that fits the real Funky more.

K.Rool:I considered commiting suicide after one episode was over and I had seen what they had done to K.Rool. This is, without a doubt, the absolute worst and most ruined character on Lord Harry. He's much too fat, he's missing THAT eye, and his cape is pathetic. It's a little rag that goes down to his shoulders, and makes him look absolutely laughable. And his voice...Dear God, this is the worst voice possible for the central villain of the DKU. It's apparently an Englishman with a high-pitched, babyish voice. It is the worst voice of them all on Lord Harry, and it totally ruins the character. Instead of the deep voiced, evil-intentions K.Rool in the DKU, we get a pathetic fat Kremling that I expected any second to go and say,"Come, Donkey, let's have a tea party with my stuffed animals. I spilled the tea! WWWAAAAAHHHH!!!!" This is an absolute disgrace to the DKU, and even Lord Harry.
-Behonkiss

Slush: All correct points (I never really looked at the Ed Asner/Cartoon Cranky connection before, even though Ed Asner is much smoother than Cartoon Cranky). I wouldn't have had as much as a problem with Lord Harry if the voice actors took the time to research the characters and bring them to live properly (despite all the storyline flaws). Instead, they just brushed it off as a silly videogame cartoon show, and it shows in the quality. Nice job one again, and I'll let your opinions on Tricky and Dinosaur Planet slide with this letter.



I have written here a few times, and I think your DKU Site is DA BOMB! Below are some suggestions to make that so-called DKC cartoon better.

1) Donkey needs to be smarter(please!!!)
2)Cranky's too mean; I want to slap him sometimes...
3)Dixie needs a better role
4)Bluster Kong.... 'nuff said
5) K.Rool needs to look evil (that red infected eye will do the trick)
6)Krusha should be smarter than Klump
7)Rambi should be on the show
8) a serious storyline
9)the Real Candy Kong
10) Bluster Kong needs to be killed!
-ChuckP@coastalnet.com

Chad: We take pride in being "DA BOMB", and strive to be even "DA BOMBER". Let's look at your suggestions.....
1. Actually, he's pretty oafish in the games ("Donkey will help you!"). But his stupidity in the series is the wrong type. He's a pot-smoking beatnik in the show.
2. I agree.
3. And in the games, as well.
4. Quite.
5. Heh heh, we ALL love K. Rool's left eye.
6. They're both mindless drones.
7. I agree.
8. Or at least something besides "Let's have a picnic!" "Oh no! the Crystal Coconut's been stolen on our picnic!" "Look, it's Bluster, Scurvy the pirate, and Eddie the Mean Old Yeti!" That's how EVERY episode goes.
9. I agree.
10. OH, yes.




Yes, yes Iagree, Digimon is growing all sell-out, considering that They are now making products such as tooth brushes and towels. When I said that Digimon is better than Pokemon, I meant that the monsters are designed better, and not counting the fads surrounding them.

Now this is what I am really writing about. If the Mario Tennis game has a Gameboy counter part,who will the characters be? I hope they acctually use Mario characters, instead of a bunch of knowname characters. Remember how the Mario golf GBC looked about 3-5 years younger than their so called ages. Who are some I wanna see.

Wart
Tatanga (The alien from SML)
Baby Bowser
Some of the koopa kids
Pauline (Mario;s gal from DK)
Smithy (Boss of SMBRPG)
Diddy kong
wart
Mewtwo
Me (Silver Face... crabs playin' tennis!!! Yeah, right)
Mallow
Geno
And any one else I skipped
-ADReyes@aol.com

Slush: There better not be Pokemon in Mario Tennis for Game Boy Color. That would just suck. The only DKU games that have an excuse for them is the SSB series. And once again, I'd only want Missingno., the only Pokemon I like in them. Oh, and I liked the "no name" characters in the Mario Golf games. Every character is a no name at some point, and you never know what will come out of a first appearance.

You have a valid point about Digimon, by the way. I still hate it. Oh, and I guess Monster Rancher does now have a Pokemon ripoff cartoon series (I discovered that recently). So let me readdress the situation: Monster Rancher the games were great. The new Monster Rancher is a heartless sellout and deserves to be burned by the stake.




What's the chances of this letter getting into the letter section?
-Devin529

Chad: Slim to nothing.



Hi, it's me again.........bye!
-ChuckP@coastalnet.com

Slush: Don't patronize me, Chuck P. Can I call you Chuck...Palumbo? Good.



Dear Chad,
I've been playing Donkey Kong 64 for a long time, yet I still haven't found the scroll of gameplay mentioned on page 24 of the DK64 instruction booklet. Have you found it? Has anybody found it? Thank you for your time.
-?????? ????

Chad: Yes, actually. You won't believe this, but yesterday I was running around in Creepy Castle, and THERE IT WAS! Oh, it's amazing! Check out this screenshot!




Dear Chad,
I've been playing Donkey Kong 64 for a long time, yet I still haven't found the scroll of gameplay mentioned on page 24 of the DK64 instruction booklet. Have you found it? Has anybody found it? Thank you for your time.
-?????? ????

Slush: This letter gets sent to both Chad and I, yet it only says "Dear Chad." I'm becoming the "Trevor" of Donkey Kong's Jungle Vine, I tell you! Well, despite the fact that I actually have an apparent job on the site.



Hi, this is Daniel. I am a fan of Donkey Kong Country, I have all of the player guides and all four games.
My question is the three parrots: Squawks, Squeaks, and Flapper. I don't mind to sound rude here, but is this a rumor. Because I didn't notice Squeaks and Flapper in the DKC2 player's guide. I am not saying that you are liars, but I want to know if this is true. If it is, then what the heck is the difference between Squeaks and Flapper - they look the same?
Thanks,
-Daniel

Chad: There are four DKC games? Oh crap, did I travel to late November again? Ugh, I've got to get the bugs out of my time machine. Anyway, apparently you didn't get very far in Donkey Kong Country 2. Had you gotten to Parrot Chute Panic, you would have seen Squawks and Flapper in all their unadulterated glory. Here's a DKC2 screenshot as proof. And the reason they look the same is because they're twins. There really isn't any difference.... other than the fact that one of them is evil!




grettings fellow DK heads, i come with DKU news & info. Recently i have found a vedal link in BK BT chain. If you go too Mad Monster Masion, enter the top rooms you will see sevral pictures of a pirate charecter. This Captain Black Eye a charecter in Banjo Tooie.
-MR. Vill

Slush: Wow! REALLY? Here's a Mr. Mooney award for ignorance. It's not news when it's been news for around half a year now. Ye-us!



You know something, I think DKC TV takes place in the DKPU (Donkey Kong Parallel Universe). Also, I made this WAV file of Sirius (From Bomberman 64) and Wizpig the genie. I even did some voice editing. There's a twist in the end, but I'm not telling you what it is. You gotta hear it for yourself.
-NESBoy216@aol.com

Chad: Yeah, or maybe it takes place in the DKPoS Universe.



Slush: What a @#%@#$#@ waste this letter is. This letter isn't of quality, or even OF BORGNINE QUALITY. However; being the professionial I am, I will respond to the questions written in this garbage.

And I respond to it back also

DELETED CRAP.

how about "Pokémon Rocks! Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!Pokémon Rocks!"

DELETED CRAP
-Charlie

Slush: Okay. This letter was a long and drawn out one from Charlie, master of the horrendous long letter of doom of past Letters. However, we've decided to actually grow some balls for once and not post his entire letter, with his responses to my responses to his questions. We said we'd post anything, but when a person continues to try and test our limits like this, we've got to take a stand and only post certain parts of it in order to discourage this activity from occuring. It's also to avoid brain cramps. Oh, you mentioned Pokemon rocks, did you? Well, Mr. Charlie, Funky Kong couldn't agree with you more. In fact, he thinks Pokemon rocks SO much that's he taken the liberty of fixing the brakes on Pikachu's Poke-Mobile! What the hell is a Poke-Mobile? I'm sure they'll have one in the third or fourth movie, so don't worry. Yes, Funky has fixed the brakes on Pikachu's vehicle....but Funky forgot the definition of the word "fixed" briefly, and cut his brakes. That Funky, he's so silly....



were you born in the land of the brits
-export@ns.sympatico.ca

Chad: No, I'm as American as French Fries.



Slush,
I'm just confused that you hadn't known that a certain DK soundtrack CD (including 4 soundtracks CDs) had appeared on Ebay. I thought you visited that site everyday! Oh well, the auction's over, and I wouldn't be suprised if another one appeared soon.
And I also have a few questions:
1. Who do you try to imitate more: Conan or Loveday?
2. Does K. Rool have a wife? (I could swear I saw something in the credits that said he did)
3. Who is the best non-starring character on the Simpsons? (I like the mayor the best because of his HILARIOUS Ted Kennedy voice)
4. If you had to give away one, which would you lose: DKC1 or DKC3 (tough choice, isn't it)?
And a few comments:
5. I thought DKC and DKC3 were similar in that they had very similar music and graphics.
6. I don't think it was nice of Rare to not let David Wise do the music for DKC3 (some other guy/girl did it).
7. Sorry, no demands.
8. I was thinking: if someone wanted to imitate you in the message boards, it would be SO easy. Because you have Arial text for the Forums, the lower-case "L"s and the Upper-case "I"s are similar. So this means that your name is spelled S"L"ush. But someone could just as easily use an "I" inplace of the "L", creating the same look in your name, but actually under a different name.

Whew. One final question: 9. Do you type these letters yourself or do you use the "Copy/Paste" shortcut?

Sorry, I know you hate long letters.
-SirNick

Slush: Eh, I don't bother purchasing most DK merchanise on eBay. If something really catches my interest I'll bid on it, but I'm it for mostly Star Wars stuff. My Darth Vader .00 Long Saber figure is a testiment to that. Besides, I'm done with eBay for now. I have to plan my future, and I certainly can't have a future by spending 500 dollars on eBay every month. Now, for your questions:
1: What do you mean, try to imitate? I don't try to imitate anybody. But I do like the boobie....that was wrong of me, and I apologize. Please, please...I don't need your pity applause. Now you see, if somebody was tuning in right now they'd think you were booing ME.
2: K. Rool made a quip about how his wife was "going to kill him" over the failure of trying to manipulate KAOS in DKC3, but Loveday claims it was merely a parody of somebody else (a comedian...or something...I really don't care to look it up right now). He also said it means K. Rool doesn't really have a wife, and was just being cute.
3: Sometimes I say Apu. Right now I appreciate Troy McClure more. Rest in peace, Phil Hartman. Oh, and Chad likes Sideshow Bob, in case you wanted to know.
4: I would never put myself in a situation where I would have to give up one. However, I guess I'd give up DKC3, as I can find more copies of DKC3 in SNES bargain bins to just purchase again (since it's newer, and has been rereleased after DKC's Player Choice run too).
5: The graphics in DKC3 were superior, as DKC had "looser" graphics. I can't really explain it. The music wasn't that similar either, as DKC sported the organic, natural feel to the music, while DKC3 adopted the DKC2 instrumental approach with a quirkier twist.
6: Rare wanted to make DKC3 a fresher experience. To my knowledge, very few if any DKC team members worked on it. I agree David Wise is king, but he's not the only musical genius working at Rare.
7: Sorry, no response.
8: Well, I already registered that name as well. I think ahead, my boy.
9: Yes, I type out all the letters once again. I enjoy the extra, back breaking work. What kind of question IS THAT?




do you eat dust or mold
-export@ns.sympatic

Chad: Yes.



Yeah I know this is my second letter in this Letters section (shut up) but I honestly don't think some (just some) of the those DK Melodies were ranked appropriately.
10.) Spiral Mountain - I'm sorry, but this was the worst song in Banjo-Kazooie. I would think Clanker's Cavern or the Gruntilda Battle were much better.
9.) Northern Kremisphere - How can someone find this tune catchy?
8.) Forest Interlude - No complaints, listed appropriately.
7.) Rainbow Road - Not bad, but I would think that the Credits song from MK64 was much better.
6.) Funky's Flights II - Huh? This song was very annoying! You should have put the Wasp Hive or the Lava themes in its place.
5.) Welcome to Crocodile Isle - No complaints, listed appropriately.
4.) Rockface Rumble - No complaints, listed appropriately.
3.) Mines - No complaints, listed appropriately.
2.) Game Over - This song isn't even a song!
1.) Brambles - This is somewhat appropriate, but I would think that Wasp Hive and Lava are just as good. It is a very good song, though.
-SirNick

P.S. I have every song from the DKC1, DKC2, DKC3, and DK64 soundtrack CDs in MP3 format. If you want, you can put all (or some) of them on your site, depending on your server space (I know these MP3s take up a lot of space).

Slush: It was our opinions. Chad and I fought long and hard with each other over which songs were going to be on it. There were tons of deserving songs, but there could only be ten. Also, a lot of the choices reflected not only the quality of the song itself, but what kind of situation they put the music with. The Game Over song (it IS a song) deserves to be number two, and we believe that. We also didn't even think of the Wasp Hive and Lava songs for the top 10, becuase we just didn't feel they provided the "umph" neccesary to make the list. One DKC2 song we wished we could have used was the "rollar coaster" song from Krazy Kremland. Another would be the Lost World theme. And the Court Theme from Klubba's Kiosk. You SEE how hard this was?

P.S. We appreciate the offer, and we may take you up on it if the need ever arise. Don't worry about our server space either. It's fatter than the flab on Oprah's arms.




wondering how i might buy both donkey kong country 1 & 3 for super nintendo ? please respond as soon as you can. thank you
-Lilbigman210854@aol.com

Chad: Well, there's always eBay (www.ebay.com) if you're looking for a really cheap copy. You could also try Electronics Boutique World (www.ebworld.com, although I think they only cater to newer systems. If all else fails, go to a FuncoLand.



OK. YOU MIGHT HAVE MENTIONED THIS but...., do krems still live in that cave mentioned in time vine, is it shown in any part of the series????
-Gr8dbatr@aol.com

Slush: The "cave" that I referred to in the TimeVine was in fact the Lost World. The Lost World in fact is in a giant cavern, as it's underneath Crocodile Isle. And they don't live in that cave anymore, as the ruins of the original Crocodile Isle are laying in it right about now.



Hi Our Friend

Ok where to start, when I first got Banjo-Kazooie people told me that Banjo is a cheap copy of Crash Bandicoot. They are both orange they look alike but they were two different character. Crash had some kind of Bart attitude while Banjo was more like goffey. Nowadays I ask those people where is Crash now. He's died thats where he is. How you like it down there Crash. Actially I believe Banjo-Kazooie copied Mario64.

1. Mario had a castle so Banjo-Kazooie had a even bigger Lair.
2. Mario had a submarine so Banjo-Kazooie had a bigger shark sub.
3. Mario had a snow place with snowman so Banjo-Kazooie had a bigger snow place filled with more stuff.
4. Mario had a hour clock so Banjo-Kazooie had a better Season clock and DK64 had a night/day clock.
5. Mario had a little sunken ship so DK64 had 2 large sunken ships that were Kaptain K. Rool.
6. Mario had a Egyption desert so Banjo-Kazooie made a bigger Egyption desert with a camel.
7. Mario had a lava place so Banjo-Kazooie had a lava place that can't be reached until Banjo-Tooie.
8. Banjo-Kazooie had a Mad Monster Mansion so DK64 had a CreepyCastle.
9. Banjo-Kazooie and DK64 had so and so, so Banjo-Tooie had a better so and so.

I got carried away with comparing. But anyway Banjo-Tooie going copy DK64 which copyed Banjo-Kazooie which copyed Mario64. So what nobody cares. I hope this will put an end to people pointing what is copyed.

Now for the reviewers

1. Everyone said Banjo-Kazooie was the best game when it came out now they say it even worst then Mario64.
2. Everyone said DKR is the best racing game it even got in the gueiness book of records for most anticipated games but now people Mario Kart 64 is way better.
3. Everyone said DK64 was the best game ever, the biggest game ever and never seen anything like this when it came out, now they say it sucks more then Banjo-Kazooie.
4. I bet I know what they are going to say about Banjo-Tooie.

So I hope you Our Friend can posses these people bodies and make them change their decisions. Go in Rares mind and tell me if there is a secret world in DK64.
-Boned Head R.

P.S P.S Do you really exist
P.S Really exist
P.s Haunt Haunt Haunt
P.S How can you type

Our Friend: I never play these games, so I'm going to toss this one to Chad and resume humping up a camera from Tahiti.
Chad: Right, let's see... Banjo is brown, not orange. And he's not crap. That's the difference between he and Crash Bandicoot. For your comments #1-9 I'm going to quote the unbridled sarcasm of the Banjo-Kazooie/Tooie team.
"That's right. Banjo once had a bigger moustache than Mario, wore brighter coloured overalls and the game was originally called Really Super Duper Mario 64."
There, you see? And furthermore, I really wish you people would stop complaining. All four of these games are completely different, and if anything, Goldeneye and Perfect Dark are bigger clones of one another than the platformers. But if you add the words "person", "shooter", and "first" to the game, people will hail it as if it were the second coming of Jesus. It really makes me sick.
Okay, back to Our Friend for the Post Scripts.
Our Friend: Ungh. I'm a bit... humph... busy right now. UNGH! Er... yeah, hold on............ Okay, what was it? Post Scripts? Ugh, you stick me with the P.S.'s, Chad? I'm gonna cut you, fool!

P.S. P.S. Yes
P.S. YES. Assface.
P.s. Wha?
P.S. Video card. Leave my sight.




Hello, Chad. I'm a 18 year old brazilian guy. After a long search on the Net I discovered your site, and it's VERY good!!!!! You and the rest of the guys are really creative and the design is easy and clean.
I have three points here:
1- How (and where) do you find those GREAT pictures for the biographies of the characters of DKC 1, 2 and 3???
2- I know that you aren't a guide for the games, but if you had a Map of the seventh world of DKC2, THE FLYING KROCK, the huge green zepelin in the shape of a crocodile in which Donkey is, could you send it to me??? I can't find it ANYWHERE!!! It's frustrating.
3- I also want to ask for pictures of the bosses of DKC3 and 2.
Thank you.
-R. M.

Chad: Hello, 18-year-old Brazilian Guy. Glad you like the site. We stayed up all night last summer with a pot of hot chocoloffee and some hotdog links trying to think of a design for the site. I think it paid off, don't you?
1. The players' guides, plus Our Friend's scanner help. Then I spend quite a bit of time in Paint Shop Pro cleaning up the images.
2. Yeah, here you go. Click it for a larger version.
3. You can already see the DKC ones in their biographies. As for DKC2 and 3, you'll have to wait for their specific bios.




I'm having trouble on DKL2. They say the first step is acceptance. I'm having so much trouble trying to beat Kreepy Krow!!! Any tips?
-Ben, Aussie Ben

Chad: First, make sure that you don't bounce on the Neckys... jump over them. Bouncing will just waste time when the big egg comes down. When the egg does come down, grab it and run into Krow. Don't bother throwing it. Then just on the hooks as fast as possible. After each egg falls, move sideways. When you get to the barrel, wait until an egg falls on a different rope, then jump in. At the top, just expect to have to jump on the egg to stop it from bouncing. Once you do, you'll have just enough time to bash him. Lather, Rinse, Repeat, Rejoice.



If DK, Banjo, and Kazooie team up together, would you think they would get along with each other?
-ChuckP@coastalnet.com

Chad: I rather doubt Donkey would fit in the backpack. Looks like even Mumbo was a tight squeeze.




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