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10/12/99
I figured something out the other day. In Donkey Kong 2 Dixie and Diddy are boyfriend and girlfriend. In DK 3 Dixie and Donkey are cousins. In DK64 Diddy is Donkey Kong's nephew. That means Diddy was dating his aunt. Why did Rare have to make Donkey Kong so gross?
-Matt Wilson
Are you running a high fever, man? How could you conceive of something so idiotic? Anyway, enough reprimanding. It's good to know that people think about the DKU in their "other day"s. Your argument is, however, illegitimate because only two of those relationships are real. Dixie is indeed Diddy's girlfriend. Blizzard Bear called Donkey Dixie's cousin. He's a redneck and should be ignored at all costs. But if you want a more "proper" explanation, people say humans are cousins to apes. So why can't a monkey be a "cousin" to a gorilla? On a species base, of course, not on a family base. And Diddy is not truly DK's nephew. They are just such good friends, that DK calls Diddy "the nephew he never had". Diddy = monkey. Donkey = gorilla. Unless there was a bigfoot creature somewhere in between, they could not truly be related. And no, don't e-mail me asking if there was a bigfoot creature somewhere in between.
I have a question. If all of the apes or monkeys in the Donkey kong universe are named kong they would all have to be related. In that case if donkey and candy were, well, in love that would be incest. What about donkeys dad, he would have to be dead or missing. What about diddey and dixie, they have crushes on eachother. What about kiddies dad and mom, where are they.
-Shart178@cs.com
Sigh......here it goes. Yes, they are all named Kong. But they are not all related. Kong is a distinction for all the apes living in Donkey Kong Country. Candy is not related to Donkey, for that would be all wrong. For your second comment of sorts, Rare has said themselves that Donkey's father is CRANKY. CRANKY AND DONKEY=FATHER AND SON. That is slowly becoming more accepted, but it's taking some time for people to catch the drift. Diddy and Dixie are not related as well. Kiddy's mother and father's condition is a mystery. Missing? Dead? Murdered? It's one loose end that would really make a great game when Kiddy gets older. We don't know what happened to them, but the characters in the game might, so it's just a mystery for now. And just so everyone knows, Kiddy was adopted by Dixie's aunt and uncle.
I like DKC TV!!!
-Devin529@aol.com
The cartoon is all wrong, but since the letter below deals with the same issue, read further.
Why don't you like hte cartoon show? It Rocks! Especially the episode where Donkey Kong turns into a baby and Cranky turns into his old self with the cool glasses and all. If you dont like the show, you cant be a true Donkey Kong fan.
-Matt Wilson
Sigh. We don't like the cartoon show for many reasons. Here's a "few":
-Bluster Kong
-"Kongo Bongo" Island instead of Donkey Kong Island.
-They break out in song and dance around. One of the main things that kills the show.
-Candy Kong looks like a male orangutan and is a true botch.
-Bluster Kong.
-Diddy's voice is even more annoying than in Diddy Kong Racing.
-They call K. Rool "Ka Rool."
-There is only one Klump and Krusha. There should be a whole army.
-Klaptrap guns. Klaptraps do not come from guns. They also don't turn into weird balls of energy that dissolve Cranky's roof in every episode.
-What's up with Dixie's wardrobe?
-Bluster Kong.
-In one episode Dixie thinks Donkey is hitting on her. That's wrong for two reasons. Age and species.
-No animal buddies!
-The pirates are rivals with K. Rool, where in the games K. Rool IS the pirate!
-Funky is nude and has blonde fur. And that jamacain accent is a far cry from the way his text was written in the games. Plus he's a moron, where in the games Funky is the most intelligent Kong.
-No Wrinkly or Swanky. Kiddy is understandable, because the cartoon was developed before DKC3.
-Bluster Kong
-The barrel factory. That's just lame.
-No banana hoard!
-THE CRYSTAL COCONUT
-DK has the DK on his tie, where Diddy doesn't have the stars on his shirt. In the games, Diddy had the stars before DK had the....DK.
-Donkey talks like a beatnick. And he's a stupid moron.
-Cranky plays the "straight man" in the show, where in the games Cranky is the comedy relief.
-Eddie Kong? Kill me.
-A Klump style Kremling is purple, not green!
-Bluster Kong.
-What's the deal with DK's treehouse? Cranky's Mansion, er, Cabin? All the houses look wrong!
-K. Rool's lair is on the Kongs' island. The closest K. Rool has ever had to an actual fortress in the area where the Kongs' live is in KAOS Kastle, and there he was just hiding out behind that curtain. He has been hiding in the jungles lately gearing up for DK64, but that doesn't count as a "lair."
-Banana Slamma is a horrible buzz word.
-Bluster Kong.
Since I have noticed all those errors, you cannot call me a fake Donkey Kong fan. I won't bash anyone who likes the show, but let me just say the show blows. You don't blow, mind you, but the show does. Give me the games anyday of the week.
::ahem:: Not to sound picky, but the vending machine does in fact say something along the lines of "KOKO KONG" Note what you call the "L", it looks, and IS an "N" Unless Rare has gone crazy again and decided to make it a sideways "Z." And about the "A" in "KOLA" Notice how all the letters are composed of Capitol Letters. The only possibilities for this letter are Q, O, C, and G. But the letter under Whoever-that-is's head nobody can see. This could be any letter... Fong? Pong? Hong Kong? Who knows.
And about Nintendo saying something about Candy - Nintendo has been known to give false info sometimes. Remember, Rareware is making this game, not Nintendo.
Last, but not least, the rug. Candy does have a relationship with DK, making this quite unexplainable, unless... Heehee... Donkey was cheating on Candy the entire time...
In conclusion, we don't know about this character yet. Some say Candy, others, like me, say Koko. Unless Koko IS a new Kong, but lives with Candy or something, we won't know for a while yet.
-Anonymous
You're confused. The reason you're thinking the way you are, is because you're thinking like an American. Remember, British folk, like the DK64 team, drive on the left side of the road, have blue blood, and pledge allegiance to an old woman daily. So obviously, the Koko Kola words would be a bit out of order. You need to read the words like the picture at right. Read the first word normally, as the arrow indicates. But wait! Now read the second word from top to bottom, the bottom of the word being towards the middle of the coke machine. Your so-called "N" very well could be a "K". K is for Kola. You see? Sesame Street is good for something.
For illiterate *English word* people like me...what the heck is the Donkey Kong story about??
-Terribly Bored, Tx
You people are trying to give me more work than I need to have with my (ahem) hectic lifestyle, huh? Okay, just for you, because you're terribly bored, I give you the Cambells Soup Condensed Version of the Donkey Kong story. The story starts off when the DKU was created.
-Reptiles steal bananas, apes get them back.
-Gorilla breaks big reptile out of jail, reptile steals bananas, apes get them back.
-Gorilla captured, monkeys rescue him.
-Gorilla captured, monkeys rescue him, monkeys destroy reptile home.
-Apes brainwashed, monkey and baboon rescue them.
-Gorilla races.
-Contest happens, monkey and baboon find watches, big reptile escapes.
-Monkey races.
-Bear is kidnapped by witch, bear and bird rescue her.
-Gorilla parties.
-Gorilla fights.
-Squirrel's party is ruined.
-Gorilla golfs.
And that's about where we are now. I hope you are not so "terribly bored" anymore. Well, you live in a very boring state, but I hope this helped you a bit in raising your entertainment level.
I'd just like to know...in the next DK game..do you think there will be a fat-assed arsed monkey named JOSH?!?!
-Garcia KT@aol.com
Naughty language! Had to censor it, then. But you can still tell what it said! Hahaha! And as for your general question, I don't understand it, or the use of colors. Does pink signify a fruit (the bad kind of fruit)? And who is JOSH? If he's a fruit, he can't be cool enough to have his name in all capital letters. Only the MOONMAN can have his name in all caps. So I just threw off your entire question! Up yours, Garcia! Ahahaha! Or something.
Hmmm... Just a question about teh Mindless Idiots WQho Ask For Your Help list... where did the fox Snide come from... ugh... I have a comment... but I'm falling into a coma again...
-Foxwolf123@aol.com
Have you heard of spellcheck, there, lad? Anyway, the Snide fellow can be found oddly mentioned under a picture at nintendo.com's DK64 coverage. Now wasn't that nice of me to link you? I should get a cookie or a bowl of Cap'n Crunch.
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Donkey Kong Universe is an independent game news source with no affiliation to Nintendo, Microsoft, or any other developer. All original content copyright © 1999 - 2008 File Two Productions.
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