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12/08/00
I got a question for you. How in the HECK did Mingella and Blobelda turn into
witches? Where did they learn black magic?
-NES Boy
Chad: Trying to debunk our storyline gap-fillers, are you, you clever scamp? Well, Slush and I discussed this one, and we decided that Mingella and Blobbelda are actually immigrants from Tiger Island, and they used to be alphalpha stalks, but Taj changed them into humans in his loneliness, but they were given the power of witchcraft and speech as a result. That, or the interest in Satanism just runs in the family.
sorry to bug you off this will be the last time but do you know where i can
order donkey kong land on your web site or any other web site...
-7111LAN@mdc.wa.edu.au
Slush: We don't sell games on our website. If you can't find Donkey Kong Land in any of your local retailers (and it should be pretty cheap, especialily since it was re-released as a Player's Choice title), you may want to check eBay and FuncoLand.
I would like to get some good clean games for my n-64 i
would like you to recomend some .
my adress is (censored)
this is not my e mail adress the name is priscilla davis
-palmtree1@mindspring.com
Chad: I honestly don't know what to make of this letter. Are you expecting me to buy games for you and mail them to your house? Well, since you've presented quite the conundrum (with incorrect spelling to boot), I bestow upon you the Mr. Mooney award of shame. Ye-us!
Dear Chad,
First of all, I'm sure you have seen the Banjo-Tooie commercial. I
was just thinking, is that commercial DKU? I doubt it because those
commercials are supposed to inform consumers about their products; I don't
think that Banjo jumped out of an airplane without Kazooie in his life.
Besides, Gruntilda fell from a much lower elevation and she caused a hole in
the ground when she crashed. When Banjo fell, not even a dent was made on
the floor, even though he fell from a much higher hight. What do you think?
Also, in Tiny's portion of the final battle in DK64, K. Rool has four
toes, yet he always had three toes. Do you think that K. Rool had an
infection on one foot, and that a separate "toe" began to grow out. This
infection may have also weakened K. Rool's foot as well, which allows Tiny to
easily beat the king simply by fighting his feet. What do you think?
In addition to that, in Banjo-Tooie, the Isle O' Hags is reached by
simply entering the Digger Tunnel. This means that Spiral Mountain is
located on the Isle O' Hags. This might mean that your theory of Spiral
Mountain being a branch off Razor Ridge may be incorrect. What do you think?
By the way, in the Banjo-Kazooie instruction manuel's story, it
mentions Spiral Mountain as a "new world." Do you think that Gruntilda
created Spiral Mountain so that animals would start living there and she can
absorb their characteristics? I doubt it, but what do you think?
Also, it appears that the land Kremland took up was a great land
flowing with honey and bees. This probably was the most resourceful area on
Crocodile Isle, yet the Kremblings tore it down to build a theme park. Isn't
that stupid to waste such resourceful land? Perhaps they stored some of the
great resources of the "honey world" and used that space to build Kremland.
What do you think?
To conclude with, just because "Twycross, England" is in B-K and B-T,
it doesn't mean that the Isle O' Hags is in our dimension. Maybe they have
close connections. Anyway, we've already discussed this, so you might as
well ignore that comment. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
-?????? ????
Chad: No, the commercials don't take place in the DKU. It's just Nintendo's way of selling the game, is all. As for K. Rool, in the SNES games he was always at such an angle that the fourth toe was covered up. By fat. He had fat feet, and the fourth toe was covered by rolls of foot fat. Er.... or it could be that he was in a large mechanical body suit in DK64 to enhance his size (he was a lot bigger in the final battle then he was in the cinema segments).
Our theory about Spiral Mountain's location was...who knows, but we've updated the FAQ slightly. Spiral Mountain and Gruntilda's Lair are either their own island, as you can see foggy waterways all around it, or connected to another landmass like the Northern Kremisphere, with those foggy waterways being the green clouds we saw in B-K. The tunnel you initially fight Klungo in is a short underwater pathway connecting Spiral Mountain to the Isle O' Hags. No matter what the true answer is, the location of both these areas has to be very close to the Northern Kremisphere.
Gruntilda didn't create Spiral Mountain, but she did build her Lair (or at least the latter portions of it). Kremland was always on Crocodile Isle, so there was never a prosperous use of the honey to begin with. The Zingers (who have been part of the Kremling army since it began) just happen to create honey, and Kremland's wooden structures made good weather protection for their hives. Of course, they're all quite underwater now.
If the universes are closely enough related to both have towns named Twycross, England, and both have the exact carbon-based species that we have, then I think it's safe to say the games take place in our universe. And if not, then they're so similar it really doesn't matter.
I warned ya didn't I? But you didn't listen! Now your about to pay by
watching Klungo become decapitated!!!! [Unable to display e-mail image]
-Ness554@aol.com
Slush: You know, you really are an idiot. Words cannot describe how big of an ignoramus you are. If you're really that upset about all the Pikachu pictures we did throughout the years months, than why don't you go eat shit and bark at the moon. You don't have to visit our site if you don't like the propaganda we're spewing.
By the way, I hope you know that your "images" cannot be displayed the way you're sending them to us.
I laughed, I cried, I wet my pants, I ate too much licorish and got sick, and ultimately thought it was a load of bull. Very funny though, but the Wario brothers are not Nazis. Mario and Luigi are from Italy. Italy sided with Hitler in WWII. Keep up the good work.
-Jim White
Chad: Glad you liked it, even though it didn't serve its purpose for you. You obviously have your doubts about their Nazi connections, and it looks like I can't persuade you otherwise. I really wish you would reconsider, as the evidence all points to Wario and Waluigi as being Nazis. In fact, Wario's just been hired to a new job and already is showing his German stubbornness.
Why haven't you finished the Donkey Kong story come on what is wrong with you guys did someone get stuck in the toliet (preferably Our Friend) for a month and you had to pull him out?
-kev@tvutel.com
Slush: I presume you mean the epic pass it on story Chad and I have been working on for a few eons now. Hey, don't complain to me. I was the one who wrote the last chapter. It's up to Chad now whenever the story will be continued. Oh, and it was I who got stuck in a lavatory fixture, as I was trying to recreate a delightful scene that's featured on numerous sitcoms where I lose my wedding ring down the commode, and frantically I have to enlist the help of everyone but a plumber before my signifigant other finds out. Later that day I accidently killed Chad's goldfish by keeping it too close to my desk lamp, so I went out to the pet shop to buy an identical one. He'll never know the difference...
Could you please tell me how I could find a Strategy guide for playing Donkey
Kong Country 3. My mother is 80 years old, I recently found my Donkey Kong
game for her to play. She enjoys playing these games, (it keeps her busy).
There are no magazines out there with this game in it anymore. She has a
Super Nintendo.
I am trying to find the magazine so she will have a little help along the way.
Any help you could give me would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you very much
-Sherry
Chad: If you subscribe to Nintendo Power, you can get them through the Nintendo Power Supplies Catalog. Otherwise, you'll probably only have luck on eBay. I'm glad to hear that your mother is enjoying Donkey Kong Country 3. See? Videogames aren't just for kids and hip 20-somethings anymore. They're also for robots and superintelligent amoebas. And your mother.
I'm afraid I must inform you that Little Luigi is dead, D-E-D, dead!
-Little Mario
Slush: I'm going to start worrying when Little Toad and other queer names start to spring up.
I don't like Donkey Kong 94 on gameboy, it's screwing up DKU. It was
basically the original Donkey Kong with some Rare's twist but in that game
Donkey Kong had a tie and that hair. Did Donkey Kong Jr. kidnap Pauline or
did Cranky use to have a tie with dk on it and curly hair thing? If it was
DK Jr. then who was the other DK jr. in that game? Or did the game never
took place at all because it was because Nintendo wanted to leech off DKC's
success and give it to Mario making Mario the protagonist in that game.
It's all Nintendo's and Miyamoto's fault for screwing up DKU with this
garbage, just because DKC was a success, they cashed in with a rip off game
to give Mario more fame.
-Strong Kong Donkey Kong
Chad: Donkey Kong '94 was just a port of Donkey Kong, slightly enhanced to encorporate the new Super Game Boy technology. It effects absolutely nothing storyline-wise, as far as we're concerned. Actually, the game was released before the DKU even existed.
Little Luigi is dead.
-Little Mario
Slush: Thanks for relaying the information for those who missed it the first time.
Do this for the country, lads!! And for the chance to win pretty renders. Hurry - someone's already answered the first question!!!!!!
http://www.rareware.com/bites/compos/btindex.html
AAHHH!! EGGS! KEYS!! NONSENSICAL GIBBERISH!
.....don't mind me, it's late.
-Ben
Slush: Hey, I tried! I really did! However, Chad upstaged me and got one. Damn insomniac.
You guys are pretty dumb there is no chest of time that was a toy chest and the masterhand brought the toys to life. After all they weren't moving until he snapped his fingers what do you think he did went around the dimensions killed them and then brought them back to life? OY! One more thing kudos to Ness554 pikachu would probably kill K.Lumsy anyway Klungo can die but not pikachu pikachu is cooler. I bet you think I'm crazy for what I just about K.Lumsy well pikachu blinded a gengar and alakazam of the same size as that dude I bet i think he could beat a stupid croc he thought heli-vessel was a butterfly.(hehehehe >:o)Oh by the kudos to tiptup.
-Richard Snider
Chad: The Chest of Time is part of the official Smash Bros. story, mind you. And running on your logic, that would mean a doll was playing through Donkey Kong Country, which makes no sense at all. I can imagine involuntary travel through the multiverse would be quite taxing on your body, which is why the fighters all fell to the table limply in the intro. And who said K. Lumsy was dilusional? Perhaps he likes the taste of Flying Krocks.
Slush,
Just a quick note to let you know that Charlie Sex Muffin has put in a request that you be sent to the burning pits of hell where you will spend an eternity slow-roasting in a fiery lake of acid. You may read the details of this request by clicking on or pasting the following URL in a browser:
http://www.littlenicky.com/cards/nov21-775022866.html
Please note that you have 7 days to respond to this notice before the ground opens up and you are swallowed whole.
See you soon!
Best,
-The Gatekeeper
666 Avenue B
Hell
Slush: I've been sent to worse places than Hell. Take Radio Shack for example. Seriously, that has to be the worst electronics store on the planet. Viva la Ciudad de Circuito!
I just want to find out if you still have donkey Kong 2, I bought when I was
in New York before I moved to Texas. But unfortunately I lost, and since
then I have been trying to get.
Please if you know where I can buy it let me know.
Thanks.
-Oaiyaomolere@aol.com
Chad: For the twenty seventh time, FuncoLand or eBay. This question sounds like a worthy member to the FAQ page, wouldn't you say?
u know man you suck
-Ness554
Slush: I know. However, I hope you realize you said "u" and "you" in the same sentence, making the whole purpose of trying to look internet trendy worthless.
I think its funny that the thundercats wold sink low enough to star in
Dinosaur Planet.I am against sex on the tv, I mean I keep falling off!
bye chad bwahahaa
-Jacob
Chad: Thundercats look like the Animus residents? Let's take a look at Thudercats' Liono and DP's Sabre.
I don't see any resemblance at all. Your Thundercats, in fact, merely look like refugees from the Broadway production CATS. And if you get a big screen TV you won't fall off as much.
I'm also a DK fan like you guys. I would like to see Sonic get pound by
Donkey.
Is Banjo related to the bears in DKC3?
Are Baron K. Roolenstein and King/Kaptain K. Rool the same person?
Is it true that Candy knows a form of martial art, Kong Fu?
I need to expand my knowledge I know you can help me out. Please, no witty
remarks. I respect you guys so much
-UltraHipHop@aol.com
Chad: But without witty remarks, how can I live? And laugh? And LOVE? Oh, right, my prosthetic tongue made out of silver. Wait, hang on, let's start over.
You have questions? Willikers, I'd better answer them! Banjo is not related to the Bear Brothers, as they are grizzlies and he's a honey bear. They've got different numbers of toes and fingers, and that's always a DKU red flag.
They are indeed the same skitzophrenic fellow, and Donkey Kong 64's King Krushaaaa K. Rool is one and the same with the SNES K. Rool. He just likes to dress accordingly with his next dastardly scheme.
Candy, in no way shape or form, knows martial arts, or this "Kong Fu" thing. Sounds like something from Lord Harry. The DKU already has Bottles for all its martial arts expertise, after all.
you r the sickest person in the world you need put into a mental instute yo
you r the sickest person in the world i will have nitendo shut you down
forever and i will have aol shut you down
-from your old pal ness554
Slush: Yeah, I really am the sickest person on the entire planet of Earth. I'm way worse than any child molesters, sexual predators, rapists, murderers, terrorists, Kathie Lee, pimps, serial killers, etc. Still, I have been in my local mental institute before (remember back earlier this year when I was stuck in my local 7-Eleven/funny farm?), but that was just a stress issue. Shut us down? Why? Because we insulted little Pikachu? Give me a break. At least we can spell, and know the joys of capitalization.
Chad,
It's me, Dean. I just had an idea on how to expand your website! I know you
already have a message board and letters column, but what if you had a
commentary on anything the web junkies wanted to talk about? Like what
people think on new games, technologies, movies, even their own sick demented
views on politics! You could even add a joke column for fun! The guidelines
of course would be that what they wanted to say had some remote connection to
the DKU.
Contact me later on what you or Slush think about the idea, and if you have
any doubts, post the thought and ask for a response from the DK fans who drop
in from time to time.
Later,
-Dean
Chad: In our naivety, we tried something like this. It's called the Irrelevant Garbage forum, part of our Bulletin Board. I wouldn't reccommend going there, though, as it's degenerated into something awful and unmoderated.
Which one of you guys was the one to come up with this site?Oh, and are you
all gay?Just asking!
-Isabel789481@cs.com
Slush: We both came up with the idea for the site. Before we began working together, Chad and I were each building individual Donkey Kong sites, both of which were going to suck worse than this one. I don't believe Chad had a name for his before we joined together, but I believe mine was called "The Donkey Kong Frijito Burrito Samprito." Anyway, both of our sites weren't getting built fast enough (and I was preoccupied with my Save Mystery Science Theater 3000 Geocities site at the time), so we began to communicate with each other over time and as we got to know each other, we decided to join forces.
I'm not gay, Chad's not gay, and Our Friend isn't gay. However, my lawyer PennyWinkle is. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
If the connection info is released after beating BT, then how come I don't
know about it? Do you have to get absolutely everything to be told about it?
-OmniByte
Slush: Let's ask Pat Morita, shall we?
"Toothpaste causes me to orgasm rectally, Hyu-hah!"
Well, Pat Morita sure didn't give us a clear answer, did he? Who out there can? Tune in next time for "What's the Deal With That Connection?"
Why do Diddy Kong and all the rest have the same last name? some aren't even the same species.Like Diddy is a chimp (or monkey ,whatever) while DK is an ape.
-Kevin Olsen
Chad: Why do you have the same last name as Mary Kate and Ashley? You must be related.
Hehehe...I just thought that this would put everything in perspective.
It's essentially just the same as the other picture except inserted in the
picture is Jamjars hassling the DK Vine Team, who - needless to say - spread
a rumour and then took back their word. Lovely propaganda, no?
-SirNick
Slush: My my my my my my my my my, aren't we clever? Why aren't you hassling the other 100 some odd sites that reported the exact same things we did? News and rumors aren't really an exact science, especially when it comes to video games. And ESPECIALLY when it comes to Rareware. Hell, we still don't know what's going on. It kind of reminds me of not knowing who the next President of the United States will be. Still, if I had to choose between finding out the truth about Bush and Gore or Connection and No Connection, I'd choose Connection and No Connection.
Hi Chad i jus' came across your sit the other day when i woz lookin 4 donkey
kong mp3's.
its a gr8 site with a loada cool stuff but i'm mailing u 2 say where did u
get your nintendo soundtracks from???
I'm from epsom,England and they do'nt sell any over here except 4 pokemon`.
Im 17 and still got my snes and donkey kong trilogy & dk 64 but i want 2 get
the soundtracks but can't get hold of them.
If u could e-mail me back i would be most gr8ful.My e-mail is
shawnhbk@hotmail.com
Cheers m8
-James
Chad: (grits teeth, smiles politely) I'm sure you can find copies of the DKC soundtracks at eBay. Yes, at eBay. Yes....
Hey there, I love all the DK country music, and I'm having a bitch of a
time finding them anywhere... I want a CD of the DKC DKC2 and DKC3
music, are these usually in cd stores or such? Is there anyway to order
tham from nintendo?
-Me (jnacho8@hotmail.com)
Slush: Like mentioned elsewhere in this edition of Letters, you should check out eBay for all your "vintage" (if you can call four to six years old vintage) Nintendo merchandise needs. You won't find them in music stores, and they were only avaliable to my knowledge through Nintendo Power's Power Supplies catalogues. I don't believe they're still for sale, so you'd probably have to settle for a used one over the internet somewhere.
Dear Chad,
In Diddy Kong Racing, please look carefully at the sun in the overworld.
Then, look a little lower and slowly look to the right. Is it just me, or
does a cloud look like Wizpig's face?! Do you see it? It's easiest to be
seen when you are nearby Sherbet Island.
I know you guys aren't necessarily Mario fans, but I want to know what
you think. Mario is from Brooklyn, but in Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's
Island, Mario and Luigi were being delivered to the Mushroom Kingdom. Do you
think that Kamek casted a spell which brought Mario's family to the Mushroom
Kingdom and that the only way the family could return to their dimension was
be being reunited again? Or maybe the Mario brothers are really from the
Mushroom Kingdom and they discovered our dimension and lived there through
childhood. What do you think?
Another confusing concept is the Boos. According to many Mario games,
they can face daylight. Yet, in games like Mario Party, the Boos were often
times defeated by light (like in the Running of the Bulb). Could Boos be
weak only against a sudden bright light? What do you think? Thank you again
for your time.
Sincerely,
-?????? ????
Chad: Let's look at this screenshot. I see what you're talking about, but it's quite a stretch to think that Rare intended this cloud to resemble Wizpig. I'd have to say it's another of those crazy game flukes. Since I don't work for Mario's Pipe Blockage, I don't have to worry about figuring out their completely nonexistant continuity. Your boo theory about the bright lights works out well, since the only time we've seen them defeated in the DKU were in the minigames Running of the Bulb and Pedal Power, both of which encorporated bright lights.
Trust me, they are nothing special. They don't give you any eggs or keys or
anything amazing. Why heck, I'll put them right here!!!
To anyone who doesn't wanna spoil the suprise, scroll down a bit.
6 - GETJIGGY Gotten by visiting Madame Grunty alot, let's you read
Jiggywiggy's signs.
7 - CHEATOSUPERBANJO Makes you go much faster than useful.
8 - CHEATOSUPERBADDY Baddies go really fast.
CHEATOHONEYKING Infinite air and energy.
CHEATONESTKING - Infinite eggs and feathers
CHEATOJIGGYWIGGYSPECIAL Opens all levels w/o seeing Jiggywiggy
CHEATOPLAYITAGAINSON Opens up everything in the replay.
There, I just ruined your day!!!
From the idiot who always talks about Monster Rancher,
-Silver Face
Slush: Well, the code list spaces were just one of our theories. We figured most of them would get debunked sooner or later. We're still holding out hope on some of the other ones though.
Hi
I have bought this game and would like to know how many battle arena there
are.
I have only got 2 and they are not very entertaining.
Regards
-Gurmukh Panesar
Chad: In Donkey Kong 64 you can access the Battle Arena options menu by pressing C-up on the character select screen. From there, you can choose to play capture, survival, coin hoard, wins, and time, each with adjustable settings all their own. This should add a bit of replay value to your multiplayer outings.
This site seems to have suddenly gone to hell your updates are crap and the BB is out of control with wierdos. so to straighten things out I'll be gone now
-export@ant.eastlink.ca
Slush: I'd say with the addition of your letter, things have really gone to Hell around here. No wait, that was Chad and I that were sent to Hell by Charlie Sex Muffin. Well, something's gonna burn tonight, that's for sure!
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