04/30/00
Spank your monkey, it's the last day of April, and we have a new edition of Letters. The plot, the intrigue, the drama...or maybe just a bunch of people still complaining about our stand on Pokemon. But maybe not! The answers await!
Update by Slush.




04/29/00
Huffing from the rampant game news ans speculating, Slush took a break tonight, and I let my mind rest by squeezing a pointless Chapter 8 of the DKU Epic Pass-a-Story thing out my arse. There, that left you with a vivid mental image, now didn't it?
Update by Chad.




04/28/00
Well, we're finally under the right circumstances to bring you the update Donkey Kong Country Screenshot Analysis. Now, for some semi-news or information as casually reported originally by IGN64 concerning that ambigious could be/couldn't be Donkey Kong game, Mario Tennis. They said: "Other characters will be announced according to Nintendo, with some you'd expect and others that you wouldn't." Donkey Kong, anyone?
Update by Slush.




04/27/00
Well, due to certain circumstances, the Donkey Kong Country Screenshot Analysis will be delayed yet another night. Those of you holding tickets can cash them in at the lobby for a full refund, or save them until tomorrow for a free slice of cake. Now, on to buisiness. Rare remains steady in the outward flow of Dinosaur Planet information. There are three new songs in the Dinosaur Planet MP3 Music page, knocking the total up to seven (all of which are now on our server). Also, there are six new residents in the Dinosaur Planet Renders and Concept Art section. Some of the pictures include what we hoped, Tricky. Though he seems to be juvinile Triceratops in these pictures. His two eyebrow horns haven't even developed yet. That means that this game is a prequel of sorts, and that Tricky really CAME FROM THE STARS!!!
Update by Chad.




04/26/00
It's another holiday, that of Secretaries Day. For a crappy holiday (I mean, there's no Webmasters Day...we have a right to complain), all you will get is the brand new Dinosaur Planet Speculation Center. Actually, that's pretty good for such a scrappy holiday. And here's something interesting we at the Vine discovered: that "random dinosaur bloke" that had a render on Rarewhere's DP page had the file name of KING.jpg. Tricky is labeled as an Earthwalker PRINCE in the game...but you can read everything else we found, figured, or blindly guessed at in the Speculation Center. Expect the Donkey Kong Country Screenshot Analysis updated tomorrow.
Update by Slush.




04/25/00
Happy Anzac Day to all you Aussies and New Zealanders! In celebration of this wonderful date (or, perhaps, randomly), we have finally got not only information on Rare's heavily-rumored title, Dinosaur Planet, but concept art, a logo, and even music! The official Rare site unleashed a tubbo-load of material on what appears to be possibly the biggest and best N64 - and DKU - game to date. Within our own Dinosaur Planet Section, you can find all of this information. Oh, and there is a double-tubbo-load of new Donkey Kong Country Screenshots, and the Donkey Kong Country Story So Far, which was basically a redundancy we used to make our update look bigger.
Update by Chad.




04/24/00
Well, well, well. A tisquit, a tasket, let me slip the updated Banjo-Tooie Screenshot Analysis in your basket. Oh, and it's the last day of our contest and the deadline is on Humpday, so e-mail us at contest@guntoters.com and....oh, screw it. Like anybody cares about contests when there is actual screenshots and info to report on.
Update by Slush.




04/23/00
On this fine Easter day we have nothing Easter-related. Well, there are'nt some of the "?" eggs in the three new Banjo-Tooie Screenshots we have. Rare keeps churning those puppies out, and we just upload them to our own server so you don't have to hunt all over. Unless, of course, you've never been here before. Then you had to hunt for our site. Right.
Update by Chad.




04/22/00
''Drop the Chalupa!'' The Pokemon crowd gets restless and lashes back in Letters tonight. It's the fight that started in Super Smash Bros. Donkey Kong versus Pikachu, part deux. We come off fighting hard. No wait, let me rephrase that. We shoot our wads....no, that's no good. We fire our jujee butter.....oh, I give up....
Update by Slush.





04/21/00
WHOO!!! YESS!!! Finally, we've got some Donkey Kong Country (Game Boy Color) info! We've got a shiny Screenshots page, as well as the mandatory Screenshot Analysis thing. Nintendo Power Source announced that the game will be identical, with the exception of the bonus levels, and some TBA details. They went on to say, "Hopefully, Rare has pans to bring Dixie and Kiddy Kong out of retirement" in making revamped Donkey Kong Countries 2 and 3! We're speculating that these will be some sort of futuristic robot pans that not only degrade image quality for 8-bit, but also cook a mean omelet.
Update by Chad.




04/20/00
On the night before Good Friday, Chad began the Banjo-Tooie Speculation Center, and I wrote Chapter 7 in our little pass the story game. Oh yes, and Loveday revealed today that Klungo will indeed return in Banjo-Tooie in a bigger role (as we hoped and believed after we first beat B-K). Now, it may be "4/20," but if I hear another moron make a pot reference one more time today, I will kill them. Drug humor is not funny, as I am seriously anti-drug. I will not end this update with anything trying to pass as funny either. I'd just like to say that. Drugs, which includes pot, sucks.
Update by Slush.




04/19/00
When mudbaths go horribly wrong Ohhee hee hee. Well, today you can have a new Artwork. Yum. Also, there is a spot of info we failed to point out a few nights ago. The killer vaccuum fellow from the B-T shots is named Weldar. Oh, yes, and a few weeks ago I sculpted Mumbo Jumbo, and he just got fired today. All brittle and ceramiccy. Yeah, well, there's a picture of it. Wheee. Yawn. Ahem.
Update by Chad.





04/18/00
Here's some MO' MUSIC. This music is good for drag racing and drunk driving....it's the Mario Kart 64 Music....um, Section. The Artist Formely Known as Prince (or is that just "The Artist" now?) favors Princess Peach, and Steven Seagal (who I may have botched his name) has a liking to Donkey Kong.
Source: MAD TV, April 15th 2000.
Update by Slush.




04/17/00
Oy, according to all the angry letters we've been getting (most of which are completely unrelated to the DKU), the readers of the Vine are getting restless. Sorry, we don't have anymore news. I wish we could create screenshots, but we don't have the wits. Or the physical endurance. Plus, we throw up a lot, and nobody likes to spend a week with us. Wait, what was I saying? Oh, yes, for this amazingly newsless eve, we've got a heaping load of Donkey Kong Country 3 Music (featuring the always astounding CLIFF THEME!!!)
Update by Chad.




04/16/00
Well, GOLEE, Chapter 6 of the neverending story is online. You know, that's all I really have to say, but if you shrink your window, it makes my update look longer. SHOO!
Update by Slush.




04/15/00
Right. It seems Slush has written and sugar-coated Chapter Five of the pass-a-story thing. And lookie here, it's once again newsless. E3 better arrive soon, because my brain won't last much longer without Bad Fur Day info. It will explode or something. Yes. It will explode.
Update by Chad.




04/14/00
Check out the new Donkey Kong Country 2 Music Section. It's a fun time killer, it really is. In other news, there is no other news. But it's the weekend, so slack down!
Update by Slush.




04/13/00
On a newsless night, what would you rather do than stuff your yap with a brand new (special April 13th Edition) Letters? Yes, I know there are many things you'd rather do, but read them anyway. I've got a nonexistant wife and imaginary kids to support, you know.
Update by Chad.




04/12/00
Well well well. While certain Gun Toter's hype up some shooting game and neglect the new B-T stuff that came out yesterday, we've updated the Banjo-Tooie Screenshot Analysis. What did you miss while viewing those screens? Click and take a closer look at the details! Plus, IGN64 reported yesterday that Camelot is indeed working on a new Mario sports related title....a Nintendo 64 upgrade to the old Virtual Boy game Mario Tennis. They've released some new screenshots, but so far Donkey hasn't appeared in any of them. Of course, Donkey didn't show up in the Mario Golf (64) screenshots until about a month or two before it's release, so that doesn't mean anything. But do we really need another game that we don't know for sure is DKU? I mean, we already have #%#@$# Dinosaur Planet to worry about. How ambigious can you get? Will Rare also announce a game called "Airplane Flyin' Primate Superstars" with no additional info?
Update by Slush.




During a buisiness trip to New York, Mumbo springs for a stylish new skull. 04/11/00
YESSS!!! YESSS!!! Maybe my keyboard-head smashing had something to do with it, but more likely, my several thousand brain cells died in vain. No matter, they're finally here, a NEW LOAD OF BANJO-TOOIE SHOTS! WHOOO!!! Expect the standard analysis tomorrow night. And here's a new render of Mumbo. Even though it looks a tad fruity, Mumbo still rules. WHOO!!!
Update by Chad.





04/10/00
We launch something different today, the Donkey Kong Country and Donkey Kong Land music sections. Listen to MIDIs of fun, and scratch your head at the dumbed down sounds. But hey, it's fun!
Update by Slush.




04/09/00
Here we go, Chapter Four for you to read. Go on, read. Read it. That's it.... niiice. Hey, maybe tomorrow Loveday will finally update that DKC (GBC) info that he should have completed THREE DAYS AGO. Ahem. Yes, that's right. So... erm..... Huzzah! Or something.
Update by Chad.




04/08/00
Yeah, we got Chapter 3 today. I've developed it with a new cooking oil I like to call "Olestreen," which is safer than then other new age cooking oils on the market today. And with Olestreen, you only get 25% greasy discharge everytime you deposit waste. Now isn't that grand?
Update by Slush.




04/07/00
Remember that we promised a good update tonight? Well, here it is! We decided to create an epic fanfiction about the Donkey Kong Universe, except it's incredibly insane and makes absolutely no sense. Further details about the writing process can be found where the story resides, the Features section. It is titled Fun With Pass A Story: The Epic Donkey Kong (Not A) Cock-And-Bull Story, just so we could test our section titling length limits. Seems like we got quite a ways with this one. And during my daily snooping around Rarewhere, I came across links for Donkey Kong Country (GBC) in the Game Digest. The only ones that work are the cast list and story so far, each linking to the DKC pages, suggesting to us that it is indeed merely a DKC port. But not DKL III! It links to the DKC story! Hah! Take that, all you "It's only a colorized DKL III" people! Ahahahahaaa!
Update by Chad.




04/06/00
Okay, don't get mad. All we have is an Artwork today. BUT, we promise something really good tomorrow. Really. So tune in next time, same crap time, same crap channel. Oh, and to my local Adelphia cable....GET THE STATIC OFF OF TNT BY THE END OF THE WEEKEND YOU BEER SWILLING REDNECKS....er...nice, friendly folk!
Update by Slush.




04/05/00
All we have tonight is the Mario Party 2 General Game Info. Okay, so it's basically a crap update, but we have to get those game sections polished up, and at least we update every night so you can have something new to see. You may even learn something. For example, I bet you didn't know Mario Party 2 was the same size as DK64! Now you know. See how good this foreign concept of 'daily updates' is?
Update by Chad.




04/04/00
The Mario Party 2 Story So Far is presented tonight. You know; with Banjo-Tooie, Donkey Kong Country (GBC), and Conker's Bad Fur Day all the horizon, you would think Rare would release some more info on at least one of the games soon. And even if they did update Rarewhere with game info, wouldn't you know it, it would be about Perfect Dark. What a sad state of affairs that is.
Update by Slush.




04/03/00
Tonight. We. Have. Some. Artwork. And. That's. About. All. We. Have. On. The. Site. Tonight. Because. There. Aren't. Any. Other. Pages. We. Modified. And. Uploaded. Tonight. Okay? I'm. Glad. You. See. It. My. Way.
Update by Chad.




04/02/00
Well, I hope nobody fell for our April Fool's Day joke yesterday (and if you did, I feel sorry for you, as it was painfully obvious that it wasn't true). Now to report on some news that has been neglected due to cartoon character fights and fake games. Banjo-Tooie is coming out July 24th and Donkey Kong Country (GBC) is coming out August 28th. All release dates are tentative and knowing Rare will change at least once. Okay, we have Accounts from March today and the April Fool's day joke can be found in Features from now on titled "April Fool's Day 2000." Good night, and may God bless.
Update by Slush.




04/01/00
Hey! Okay, well, we've got big news tonight, but before that, the old updates can be found at the Update Archives. Accounts will be delayed until tomorrow. Okay? There. Now, actually, tonight we've got the coolest news in a long while! There's a new DKU game coming out which was totally unexpected! Is it a platformer? No! A puzzle? No! Not an RPG, either! This game, titled Wild Kongo: Mating Season will be an educational game, through a joint effort by Nintendo, Rare, and the Discovery Channel. It will be an actual educational game on the mating habits of apes, using none other than DK characters! There are a few screenshots which we have, and the graphics aren't all that great, but as everybody knows, Rare waits to tweak the graphics at the end of their projects. WOW, this game may be on a contreversial topic, but it sounds like it will get some real media attention! I can't wait!
Update by Chad.




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