The Jig is up....damn myself. Not much to report on tonight. Our Friend has scanned the two recent pictures in Nintendo Power from Banjo-Tooie. See Klungo? God, I love Klungo. Anyway, we've added them to the Banjo-Tooie Screenshot page, but you may as well view them here. Another interesting tidbit that we swiped from IGNcube is another mention of what we have dubbed Donkey Kong GAMECUBE. In their GAMECUBE FAQ, they've mentioned that the two rumored GAMECUBE games our favorite British wankers are working on He's well klung.are Perfect Dark and "Donkey Kong 64" (which we're sure is a typo by IGN...how could they be making Donkey Kong 64 for GAMECUBE?). Even though we already knew this, it's refreshing to hear it said by a website that's higher profile than us.
Update by Slush.

Weird. I thought today was Tuesday for some reason. Boy, was my face red when I showed up for the A.A. meeting and no one was there! Phew! Anyway, since it's even closer to the weekend, we should celebrate. A characteristically crappy edition of Letters is here.
Update by Chad.

Tonight we don't have much of an update. We have launched our Mario Kart Advance They gave me red, yellow, and black.  What else COULD I draw?section, with Screenshots (4 of them!). Maybe tomorrow we'll have something decent for you, like a trip through our mail bag. By the way, MarioTennis.com has launched, and you can make such lovely pictures like Chad made on the right. Sad, really.
Update by Slush.

Hey-hooh. Today is the shipping date for Mario Tennis, so it should be arriving in your local game retailer tomorrow or the next day. If you haven't reserved a copy, go out and do that NOW. Or hope you get a copy. Either way. Well, we've got two new crap excellent Artworks, as well as my Mario Tennis Editor Impressions pulling through the gate at the last minute. May your dreams be filled with visions of fuzzy green balls.
Update by Chad.

You know what I hate about Sunday night? The fact that it comes before Monday morning. Damn that Monday morning. However, until morning comes it's still the weekend, and by golly I'm going to party as hard as I can all night. For your viewing pleasure we have some more pictures added to the Drones List, and some Mario Party 3 news that should make you Luigi fans out there happy. The green suited one's object of sexual desire, Princess Daisy, will be in the game. Now if only they could find room for Diddy, Candy, Banjo, Mumbo, or Ted the Boatbuilder.
Update by Slush.

Something bloody insane happened to me tonight, and I'm not about to tell anyone besides Slush, so here's what we have to offer. It's Slush's Mario Tennis Editor Impressions and the news (courtesy IGN64) that in addition to the normal six Mario Party veterans, the third installment will feature "more playable mascots, including Waluigi". I wish they'd be more specific. For all we know, Diddy could be in the bloody game.
Update by Chad.

HOLY HELL!  IT'S ED ASNER! While Spaceworld news may have slowed down, we've still got some tidbits for you. For one thing, we took this snapshot of Mario Kart Advance and magnified a certain part of the screen...and viola! There's our Donkey Kong. Mario Kart Advance is a DKU game, and we pretty much know for sure now. We also have some GB Tennis Color (ugh, what's the DEEEAL with that name?) news. The playable characters, despite the four "tennis trainee hopefuls" (the game is similar to Mario Golf for Game Boy Color's plot); are Mario, Luigi, Peach, Yoshi, Bowser, Wario, and Waluigi. Hey Camelot....playable Donkey equals cha-ching...think about it. Anyway, while DK may or may not appear somewhere in the game like he did in it's Mario Golf (GBC) counterpart, since Waluigi is in it and it's compatiable with Mario Tennis, it's a DKU game. Damn our rules. Actually, it looks pretty sweet, so who are we to complain. So, just in review, here's all the OFFICIALLY CONFIRMED upcoming DKU games we can be looking forward to. Mario Tennis, Banjo-Tooie, Donkey Kong Country (GBC), Dinosaur Planet, GB Tennis Color, Conker's Bad Fur Day, Mario Party 3, and Mario Kart Advance. Here's all the UNOFFICIALLY CONFIRMED BUT BASICALLY CONFIRMED upcoming DKU games we have. Mario Kart GAMECUBE and Donkey Kong GAMECUBE. Finally, here's all the UNOFFICIALLY CONFIRMED, SOMEWHAT BASICALLY CONFIRMED, AND VERY LIKELY DKU games you can look forward to: Super Smash Bros. 2 and Banjo-Kazooie GAMECUBE.

We're going to have to quit slacking.
Update by Slush.


Update #3
''One of these things is not like the other, one of these things is not quite the same...'' The third and final update of this lovely Spaceworldy evening brings even MORE news! Nintendo Power Source, who decided to churn out about a dozen upcoming game movies (no next-gen, sorry) showed Donkey Kong quite prominently in the Mario Party 3 movie. It's officially a DKU game now! Huzzah! Also, Wario Land 4 was on the Game Boy Advance's release list. If Waluigi shows up in this game, it will be DKU. We'll be watching it intently to find out. And one final note... Did anybody download that awesome 16-meg Game Cube movie from IGN yet? One of the best parts is at the beginning when they show the Pokemon demo, and the crowd remains silent until they switch to Wave Race and decide to cheer. Haha, take that, Pokemon!
Update by Chad.

Update #2
It's either Donkey, or a large pile of guano. We're back! We believe we've discovered Rare's Donkey Kong in Mario Kart Advance. We took a screenshot of an IGN staffer playing MKA on GBA, took the slanted screen of the GBA, straightened it out, and made it brighter. See that racer we circled next to Bowser? We believe that's our DK, and he's currently in fourth place. More screenshots are bound to come in later, and we'll update as soon as we can with them. As for Banjo-Kazooie Game Cube, IGN Cube says that the demo shows Mumbo and Banjo riding on Kazooie being chased in a chasm by a large group of people. Of course, they provided two Perfect Dark screenshots, but no B-K. Oh well. It should also be noted that they said Rare's demos looked very rushed, as they were trying to meet the Spaceworld deadline. Insert penis here.Take that for what you will. Finally, the new tentative name for Mario Tennis (GBC) is Tennis GB Color. It sounds very Japanese, and probably will be changed before coming out elsewhere in the world. Oh, and in case you didn't see yet, here's what the Game Cube looks like. We actually like it, and it's eased our bitterness towards Nintendo for taking the "Ultra" out of the U.S.'s Nintendo Ultra 64.
Update by Slush.

Update #1
Well, we're here to reveal the "skinny" on the DKU-related next-gen news. By the way, did anybody see those Zelda screenshots? They look like bloody FMV cutscenes! YES! Okay, that aside, IGNPocket showed a character list for Mario Kart Advance. Donkey Kong is on it, but they didn't bother specifying whether it was the Miyamoto version, or the good version. Would have been nice of them to post a few shots.... Okay, and even THAT aside, IGNCube released a list of games that were shown in the Dolphin Game Cube preview. Guess what was listed under "real-time preview"? None other than "BANJO-KAZOOIE GAME CUBE DEMO"! We can't wait until they post shots of B-K GC. And be mindful that this doesn't mean that it'll be a real game, but if they bothered to create bloody character models and a demo level, that's quite a bit of work for nothing, eh? I'm sure we'll be seeing Banjo-Cubee some time close to GC's October, 2001 release.
Update by Chad.

The Actual Game Boy Advance Casing.  This Game Boy Makes All Other Game Boys Its Bitches. We're on the verge of a load of Dolphin...I mean N-Cube/Game Cube/Cube Steak and Game Boy Advance news, as well as possible N64 and GBC news, but before that....all we have is two Artworks. Wow. We suck. Oh, and a quick note about Heroes of Kazaam. It seems as if Gun Toter and Shigamoto have devised it so if you were to backtrack to levels, you'd have to re-beat all the ones ahead of it again....

Anyway, we're working on the problem and we should have it fixed soon. Then you can redownload the game and it won't affect your saved data. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Update by Slush.

Well, today is our one year anniversary. It's a pretty big deal for us, as most internet sites don't make it past the first year or just stop updating. We have one large update that's been in the works for some time. First off though, we'd thought we'd set the record straight once and for all with What is the Donkey Kong Universe? Now, remember when we asked you more than a month ago to send us mail if you wanted to participate in something for our anniversary? Well....

Sorry, but we have nothing. That's right, the big birthday surprise is that there's no surprise. None at all. Wait, hang on... oh,we have one after all. Put away your mace, maces, metal basebat bats, and two-by-fours, there's no need to beat us into a bloody pulp any more. It looks like this surprise is called Heroes of Kazaam. What the hell is that? Well, only one way to find out... But watch out for the MOONMAN. He bites.
Update by Slush and Chad.

Tonight's update is complete and utter tosh, but there's a reason for that. More on that later. We've got a bit of news that's only relevant in that a Mario Kart and Donkey Kong game are basically done deals for Nintendo's next system. Anyway, IGN Cube seems to think that Nintendo's next-generation system will not be called Star Cube (thank God), but rather Nintendo Game Cube (moooan). And now for the reason you read that, rather than a new biography or two. Tomorrow is DK's Jungle Vine's first anniversary of being online, and we've got something big planned. We're tweaking the last bits of it, which consumed most of our time tonight. Just make damn sure you come back tomorrow. Up, up, and away!
Update by Chad.

As Chad mentioned yesterday, we're not going to have much in the way of news for the next couple of days. No matter, here's two exciting BIOS for you! That's right, we have Scuttlebug and Dahli. Who are they you may ask? Did you guys just invent those names for two nameless characters? You got that right. Click on the links and stop whining, you canucks.
Update by Slush.

We're probably out of game news until at least Spaceworld, so cherish this little tidbit. Slush went to Wal-Mart today, and while there, he saw that the electronics section had a playable demo of Mario Tennis. He didn't get to play it though, as he was in a hurry and there was quite a line. So next time you feel the need to go to a chain department store between now and August 28, make it Wal-Mart.
Update by Chad.

Hahaha! Tonight I'm drunk off feces and we've got belated B-T Screens IGN64 revealed yesterday and then we've updated our Definitive Species feature with something very retarded. Hahaha!
Update by Slush.

Holy crap, last night was a big update. Well, I'll make up for it with this short update. Don't worry, the content isn't short, but this update which you're reading is. So have an updated Banjo-Tooie Good Guys Checklist, Bosses Checklist, Renders Page, and Story So Far, courtesy the good fellows of Rare. Expect some pretty new B-T screenshots tomorrow, hopefully with something else by its side.
Update by Chad.

We have lots of details concerning Banjo-Tooie's multi-player mode tonight, ripped right off of N64 Shooters. First things first, here's a list of most of the multi-player modes in B-T.

Targitzan’s Temple Shootout
Mayan Kickball challenge
Ordnance Storage Shootout
Dodgem’s Challenge
Hoop Hurry Challenge
Kazooie’s Ring Jump
Balloon Burst
Mini-sub Shootout
Zubba’s Nest
Chomp’s Belly Shootout
Shootout in Clanker’s Cavern
Trash Can Challenge
Tower of Tragedy Quiz

It's a MerBottles/BottlesMaid! Some interesting things to note are that Clanker's Cavern returns and apparently there is another version of Gruntilda's Furnace Fun called "Tower of Tragedy Quiz." Keep in mind though that that part is only speculation at this point, but it seems to obvious. Another thing that's been revealed is what the "Bottles' Revenge" mode is all about. It's a take off of the one player story mode, but with a twist. Resembling Perfect Dark's counter-operative mode, one player plays as the normal good guys, while another plays as BOTTLES. Player two floats near the Banjo/Kazooie/Mumbo team at all times, and when you approach an enemy, Bottles' ghost enters the body of that villian, allowing player 2 to rough up B-K-M. Does this mean Bottles is actually evil now, or does this not follow the rules of normal continuity? We'll have to wait and see. The good part about this counter-operative mode as compared to PD's is the fact that you're always near the good guys, and not popping up halfway across the level after getting killed.

One more situation that needs to be addressed is the first person shooter multi-player mode. These "shootouts" (see above for some of the shootout levels) are not like DK64 (and we know many of you didn't care for DK64's take on this), but follow the path of Goldeneye and Perfect Dark. The four levels that most resemble the previous mentioned two games are Targitzan’s Temple (the inside of an Aztec building), Ordnance Storage (one of Rare's trademark industrial levels), Chomp's Belly (the inside of a t-rex named Chomp), and the hidden Facility/Felicity level from Goldeneye/Perfect Dark fame (hopefully Loggo will be in one of those stalls). Finally, here's a look at the weapons/ammo modes you can choose from when you tote those guns.

Eggs a-plenty: Every kind of egg is avaliable.
Hot 'n Cold: Includes original, fire, and ice eggs.
Sneaky: Includes original, fire, and proximity eggs.
Bomb’s Away: "Kazooie bomb eggs." This is the craziest thing I've read. Apparently you launch Kazooie or the bird you're using in multi-player out of your hand (armed with a bomb egg, apparently), and chase your opponents. Detonate with "Z," and enjoy your Mumbo's extra crispy or a delicious golden brown.
Big Bangs: Includes original, ice, and grenade eggs.

One last thing that's sure to get your attention. How would you like to play as Gruntilda? Well...she's avaliable in multi-player; as well as Banjo, Kazooie (she acts as Banjo's gun), Mumbo, as of yet un-named birds for the other players, and unannounced characters. To quote Tiger Woods..."G'Daam!"
Update by Slush.

While there's no news tonight other than the fact that a D-Pad is back on the Dolphin controller according to IGN64, we tried to stray as far as possible from our traditional (as of late) pure HORSE**** update. So down your throats we will cram a long-overdue Conker's Bad Fur Day Movie Synopsis. And once again, cake will be served in the lobby.
Update by Chad.

First of all, an apology. You may have noticed our updates have been complete and utter HORSE**** these last few days. There's a reason for that. No news, no motivation, and no boobie. Well, hopefully with Spaceworld coming up; we'll get the news and the motivation. So here's a new Artwork today. Does it compare to yesterday's Artwork? Click and find out! Oh, and the Dolphin is NOT called Starcube. It's official. Hopefully the name will be something that's more OF BORGNINE QUALITY.
Update by Slush.

It's a typically newsless Sunday night, so what better way to get ourselves through an update, than post an incredibly deep and thought-provoking Artwork entitled "Banjo Loves Ham Sammiches". Oh, and thanks goes out to The Nformant for choosing us as one of their two Sites-O-The-Week. Huzzah!
Update by Chad.

For a quick laugh, check out our Donkey Kong 64 Items Checklist from oh so long ago. This was before the game was released, and it's hillarious what people thought some of these things were for when we look at the actual game now. For the real update, check out our updated (hence the update) Donkey Kong Country (Game Boy Color, of course) Speculation Center. Burn in Hell if you don't.
Update by Slush.

Tonight, go ahead and gnaw on this new edition of Letters. If you have any doubts about clicking that luciously red link, know this: We tell you how to get the Scroll of Gameplay, AND Pikachu gets hurt. If you're here after that half-assed sales pitch, you can watch me scratch myself and go to sleep.
(skritch, skritch)
Update by Chad.

Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue.
Gore's a Christian,
Lieberman's a Jew.

Another fine poem written by myself. Not as fine as Chad's new Feature though, entitled "I Hate Obi-Wan And All Of My Pathetic Fans": The Alec Guiness Tribute. Oh ho, sorry. I meant to say To Insanity and Back: How I Wasted $300 on Worthless DKU Memoribilia. Yes, that's the ticket. We also have the final Santiago Lopez Artwork. Oh, and rest in peace Alec Guiness....and may the force be with you (hoo-hah!).
Update by Slush.

OH MAN! Tonight is one of the biggest news night we've had in a long time. I was in the middle of typing up a feature when this stuff came in, so we're holding that off until tomorrow. Now, on to the FANTASTIC news! The screenshot at right just so happens to be one from Nintendo's upcoming Mario Kart Advance! Yes, that's right. The one on Game Boy Advance! It seems the Mode 7 technology has actually been improved since Super Mario Kart. It's incredibly likely that this game will be DKU, as Nintendo themselves have described the game as an "updated Super Mario Kart". Judging from the great graphics and blue shell that wasn't found in Super Mario Kart, it's a sure bet that Donkey will be sporting his Rare design this time. Okay, and if you'll look to the left, you'll see a screenshot from Mario Party 3! The graphics in this game already look incredible, and this screenshot was shrunk and saved at a low-quality jpg. No new characters spotted yet, but we'll be on the lookout. And finally, we've created a Mario Tennis (GBC) section with several lovely Screenshots. More on all these games will be revealed at Nintendo's Spaceworld event later this month.
Update by Chad.

Tonight we have an update on the story we ran Saturday. There was a small misinterpretation on our part, and the commercial never said the game was coming out next week (or this week, as it is now). It was just an assumption, as Nintendo usually runs commercials for their games a week or two before they're released. However, reader Aussie Ben checked with local retailers and found out the game won't be arriving when previously expected. So the commercial running this soon is a bit of an oddity, but Ben was kind enough to send it to us, and we've uploaded it to our server for you to see! Check it out by clicking on the link called DKC Movies. On an unrelated note, does Joseph Lieberman eerily remind you of the dad from ALF?
Update by Slush.

We apologize for not updating last night. As I said on the bulletin board, our server was being upgraded, and we weren't able to update. Anyway, tonight you can have a Raremade batch of new Donkey Kong Country Screenshots, as well as a duo of Santiago Lopezmade Artworks. We'd also like to ask all our readers to say a prayer (or your religious equivalent) for Trevor of Rarenet, who was in an extremely unfortunate car accident last night.
Update by Chad.

While all of those "other" sites usually take the weekend off, we pound on through Saturday and Sunday...providing even worse updates than usual. No matter, we continue to try and build the ultimate reference pages for the DKU with our "Big Ol'" lists, this time an updated Big Ol' Donkey Kong Stuff List (In English) hits the stands. We also have another new Artwork for the sixteenth time this week. Finally, here's some news for you Australian DKU fans. There are reports of a TV commercial where Donkey runs out, gets caught in a purple explosion, and gets his fur blown off. Then they show footage of DKC for GBC, announcing it's coming out NEXT WEEK. We haven't had this confirmed by Nintendo yet, but it's quite possible the Australian fans will be getting this game much earlier than we will. Is it finished by Rare? Again, we'll have to wait and see.
Update by Slush.

Wow, what a hideously news-less day today was. Well, I've got an interesting little story to tell. It seems a person demanding info on the infamous Scroll of Gameplay picture in the latest Letters has decided to send me piles upon piles of crap e-mails about it unless I post his two Artworks. They're surprizingly good, though. There, Santiago Lopez, are you happy?
Update by Chad.

All we have today is a new Artwork and some interesting news. Mario Tennis is currently the number one game in Japan, selling 213,422 since it debuted two weeks ago. I wonder how Pokemon feels, getting crushed in it's homeland by a game that doesn't have yellow electric sex toys in them. Oh wait, Our Friend has just informed me that we more to update with. We've updated the Drones List, and added tons of pictures for many drones, with more to come in the next day or two (hopefully).
Update by Slush.

Wheee! This is both Slush and my favorite variety of update. Why? We get to reach out to YOU, and you do the same. And everybody loves mutual restraining orders. Letters is here!
Update by Chad.

Being the first day of the month of August, we have the traditional Updates Archives and Accounts. This is also a big month for our site, as in a few weeks we'll celebrate our one year anniversary. Hard to believe it's been one year already. It feels more like ten years.
Update by Slush.

Update Archives