No updates for the past two days. Why? We've been preparing for our all-our brawl... Chad and Ben vs. Slush and Our Friend! It's Weinermania II! Remember to get the linked Vitalize plugin if you can't watch it. Come tomorrow, there will be some pretty big changes to the site due to the results of the fight... be sure you check it out. Also, we haven't done Letters for a month or so, so there you are.
Update by Chad.

Okay, Slush, that's great - abandon us on your day to update. Wuh-oh, look out, I'm stealing your update day! Oogety boogety! See you on the 31st, assface.

Oh, right. I've put up the (absolutely final two - I promise) Conker's Bad Fur Day MP3s, Bomb Run and Visiting the Wankas. That should be enough fodder for the CD makers among you.
Update by Chad.

Daylight savings has confused me to no end, but on the bright side, I got an extra hour's sleep. And that's really what life's all about, isn't it? Sleep? Did you know that we spend around 75% of our life sleeping? And I'm not just throwing statistics around, either. So do yourself (and the world in general) a favor - sleep NOW!

Anyway, tonight Behonkiss (whom I'll never learn to pronounce, but then again, that's the advantage of the Internet - you'll never hear me say it) has contributed his Conker's Bad Fur Day review. Incidently, the Reader Reviews were suggested by Behonkiss, which just goes to show we really do listen to our readers. (Seriously, this time.) Behonkiss, I hope you've enjoyed your 15 minutes of fame. I've said your name three times in this paragraph - I hope it was worth it.

Oh, and before I forget, IGN Pocket has gone and ripped some hardcore gamin' action direct from Mario Kart Advance. Or not. Click on the link to check it out and see, will you? Oh, and Slush... March 31st? BRING IT ON, SUCKA.
Update by Aussie Ben.

Hey Slush, Our Friend, f-ck off for a second. Tonight we've got a hefty update for you to begrudingly leaf through: Not only is there Aussie Ben's Banjo-Kazooie Review (his dkvine reviewing debut), but our first ever Reader Review, BaronKrusha's Conker's Bad Fur Day Review. I got rid of the link to the utterly pointless Japanese Game Logos from the Games main page, which cleared up space for the two review sections. Both are much easier to navigate than our previous setup. Okay, now I've got to turn off the water heater before I go to sleep... Our Friend is my room mate, mind you...
Update by Chad.

Okay, I'm sick of Chad and Ben. Seriously. They think that they can do whatever they very well please on the site without consulting Our Friend or myself, and that just cheeses me off. So I have a little proposition for those two blowholes that they may find very interesting. They obviously don't want us on the site anymore. I can live with that, but I don't want to go out without a fight. You may remember last year around this time when Chad's mascot character was fighting with my mascot character, and they blew it off in a giant fight like none other. I say we do it again this year. March 31st, live, here in Updates: Chad and Ben versus Slush and Our Friend. The winning team gets to stay on the Vine, and the losers must hit the rookie road. I like that stipulation VERY MUCH. Oh, and we also have a real update today. The Second Annual Arseadamy Awards.
Update by Slush.

Chad: Hold it right there, sucka'. There's also the last two Conker MP3s up, Casualty Department and Rock Solid. THERE'S your real update.

Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. We can confirm it - Chad has literally gone mad with the BFD MP3's - he's out of control. All we can do now is pray for his soul. Donations can be sent to the "Save Chad's Soul From Winamp" fund, made out payable to me. Thank you for your attention. We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.
Update by Aussie Ben.

Excuse me, Slush? Hello? How was I "stealing your update day" when you weren't online to do the bloody update? I would have been writing it anyway, only this way, I get the credit for my work. Take tonight, for example. Ben's off begging Australian importers for a glimpse of their GBA's, so I'm going to take his update too. And what an update it is - I wrote my Conker's Bad Fur Day Review! Please keep in mind that I'm trying to rate the games with less of a bias than I used to. Giving Donkey Kong 64 a 10.0 was just stupid. See you tomorrow... right, Mr. Shpayer?
Update by Chad.

So Chad thinks he can just take my update slot last night? Cripes. I'm sick of that guy and Ben, and it's getting to the point where I can't take it anymore. Anyway, tonight we have more Conker MP3s. Right.
Update by Slush.

What, today is Slush's update day? Well screw that, I'm tired of ghostwriting for people. This day is MY update day. Hoo-hwah! Conker fans will be glad to know that I spent my evening figuring out various ways to prevent sound effects from playing, in order to get six - count 'em - six new high quality Conker MP3s. I even have the Great Mighty Poo's song in its entirety, with no fighting noises between the verses. It's all slopprano, baby!
Update by Chad.

After a huge problem with my modem, BUCK ASS SLUSH WEEK, and life in general, I'm back. Finally. Yeesh. Anyway, for being such patient little souls, you may have a thrilling Merry Maggie Malpass biography. I sure know I'm interested in her life story. And oh, look! Chad's announced to me that he's been busy playing Conker. Geez Chad, way to rub salt in my wounds. I don't get it until MAY, Chad. No, I'm not BITTER, Chad. I ENJOY the fact that Americans get games MONTHS BEFORE ME. It FILLS ME WITH GLEE. ...erm, anyway, Chad's gone and created a new MP3 from Bad Fur Day, and he says there's more on the way. So look at it. But look at my update first. Not that Resistance I'm is forcing futile. you to or anything. Visit Big Whoop! Do it RIGHT NOW!
Update by Aussie Ben.

What the ? I leave for five days and that bastard, Slush turns the place into a hell-hole. Oh well, at least Ben came back before our social security numbers were revealed (though I'm not sure they even have those in Australia). Well, all that sh-t. You can have a Woody biography, in which I pledge my love to the creative team at Infogrames/Hudson. All right, now off wit ya.
Update by Chad.

So Ben is back, thus ruining BUCK ASS SLUSH and taking away my control of the site. That's fine though, because I can fight off Ben. I still have Our Friend, you know, and the two of us have become good pals this last week. It's two against one, and I'm part of the two. Anyway, tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day, and with me having Irish ancestory, I'm already drunk. We haven't reported on rumors for awhile, so take this for what it is. It isn't news, there's no reasoning to believe it's true...it's just a rumor. It's all I can do, because as I've already specified, I'm drunk. Rumors are strongly growing (hence it being a rumor) that the next Donkey Kong game Rareware makes for a console is going to be patterned after the DKCs of yore. It would be a test to see if 2-D games can thrive on GAMECUBE, much the same way Yoshi's Story was for the N64. Of course, this isn't confirmed, and personally I don't believe it. The next DK game for a console may or may not be 2-D, but we don't even know if it's actually begun development yet. Since the general attitude is that 2-D games are a thing of the past, I'd look for it to be 3-D (unfortuantly), although that's just my personal opinion.
Update by Slush.

Ahhh!! What THE HELL??? I'll tell you, that's the last time I let my modem break down and have to wait a week to have it fixed. Let's end this madness now, before we go insane (and before Slush gives out MY address and credit card details). I'd like to know how he got a hold of them in the first place.

Anyway, tonight's update is one of the most thrilling we've had this year, because it's none other than a slightly updated Order of Releases list! Well, that was needlessly pointless.

Hopefully Chad will be coming back soon to keep Slush and that manic camera of ours under control. At least Slush didn't wind up in a Seven-Eleven again. Yeesh.
Update by Aussie Ben.

LEGENDS...NEVER...DIE... BUCK ASS SLUSH week continues with some cheap Mario Kart Advance Screenshots. I know I promised some porn, but if you squint really hard, it's the same thing. You know, I could get used to having no Chad and Ben around to tell me what to do. It's always "Slush, stop being such a retard" and "Slush, stop talking about nipple rings." I'm tired of taking orders! I'm sticking it to the man! Tomorrow I plan on revealing Chad and Ben's home phone numbers, addresses, social security numbers, and credit card numbers. See you in 24 hours...
Update by Slush.

''When it comes to working on her knees, my mom is the expert!'' Did I not promise you a Feature? I sure did, as BUCK ASS SLUSH WEEK continues! Uh oh, it seems that I Went Saucy In My Panties! Tomorrow, I plan to shoot a low-budget porno film (thanks to Our Friend's video producing capabilities) without taking any heat from Chad and Ben, and show it to you, the reader. See you in 24 hours...
Update by Slush.

Image from http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Rampart/6331/santa.html
Okay, okay. Here's the lowdown. We haven't updated for two straight days. The fact is, we're much busier than we were when we originally started the site. Gone are the days of promised daily updates, and I'm not quite sure if those days will ever be back. The three of us are occupied with other, more important things than the site right now (it's not like this thing is our job, or even our life...it's a hobby, plain and simple). That being said, I can promise you non-stop updates from at least now until Friday. Why you may ask? Chad's away at a peace conference in Switzerland, Ben is AWOL, and it's just Our Friend and I all week long. So I figured if I had total control all week long, I could go buck ass wild and not worry about taking shit from the man! So welcome to BUCK ASS SLUSH WEEK!

Okay, so all I have for you tonight is a new addition to the FAQ. Here's a preview for tomorrow though: a new Feature entitled I Went Saucy In My Panties. I'll see you in 24 hours...
Update by Slush.

We proudly present to you the triumphant return of Accounts! Marvel at tales of us shaving! Gasp as we brush our teeth! Haw haw, only joking. It's just a new Artwork. But that doesn't seem so bad now, does it?
Update by Slush.

We bring to you complete fufillment in the absolute through registering our completeness throughout. In the bringing of tonight, please accept our many thanks with the continuing purity that we will be providing to ourselves for you all. Receive these enjoyment. and we shall discover complete contentment, and receive the total completeness within you.

Our Friend: It's three Artworks. What a dick.
Update by Aussie Ben.

Ugh. Enough with the "Stop fighting with YBK" crap! Enough, I say! Those of you sick of the war may be glad to know that it is now officially over, with us as the victors! Hurrah! You can see a replay of the pinnacle battle here.

In other news, Conker's Bad Fur Day has been released, and to celebrate, we found these pretty Wallpapers that we got a hold of. Don't ask me where though, because I don't have a clue. Look, just shut up, click on the link and enjoy them, alright? It's 2am and I'm in no mood to make sense.
Update by Chad.

We meant to have a big Squirrel Sabbath day yesterday, but a combination of random connection outages and drawn-out discussions about "The Lone Gunmen" sort of upturned that idea. But tonight, oh-hoh, tonight is the night Conker's Bad Fur Day ships to retailers everywhere. Don't expect to get a copy until at least tomorrow, though. To comemmorate this occasion, we have a biography for Evil Acorn, Conker's pre-BFD nemesis, as well as the CBFD Advertisement Atrocities (in a good way). Fine and dandy like sour candy.
Update by Slush.

I really don't trust the FAQ. It continues to grow in power, spreading its evil might across the site for total domination. I tell you, I'm onto the power-hungry madpage's evil plans. But no-one believes me! Not a soul, I tell you!

Oh, and just for fun, let's see what's happening in the wacky world of the YBK crew today? It's YBK ADVENTURES time!
Update by Aussie Ben.

Well, tonight we update with a nice, lovely Biography. Oh, is that what it is? Really? Honestly, I never have any idea of what's going onto the site. I mean, Ben and Slush could update with pictures of people doing things to corpses that shouldn't be done. Things besides burial, that is.

A reader also wrote into us (forwarding the mail to all of us, by the way, which just goes to show that not a damn person in the world LISTENS to us when we tell them not to do that..) asking us to "STOP FIGHTING WITH YBK". Well, we always listen to our readers (no, really!), so here you are.
Update by Chad.

Whooeee. Two new sensual Mario Kart Advance Screenshots show up with manlourished buttocks. What the hell?
Update by Slush.

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