I probably should be updating with those SSBM screenshots that have been out for a week and a half, but I'm just too lazy. I'm going to try a live broadcast on DKJV Radio tomorrow at, oh, 4:00 PM CST. That's 10:00 PM GMT, and 7:00 AM, August 1 for NSW. There, that should eliminate all confusion. Now, if you have any ideas for DKU-related topics I could talk about, e-mail me. If nobody e-mails me, I will read the most recent Nintendo Power's "Players Pulse" out loud. You think I'm joking?
Update by Chad.

I'm not sorry for the late update for tonight, I spent all this evening watching Final Fantasy. CGI talkey people are awesome. There's a lot *chortle* of new screenshots at the SFA: DP wossname. Go look. (Why use proper words when a good thingy will do?)
Update by Aussie Ben.

Sorry for the (incredibly) late update for today, I spent all of last night / morning at Wal-Mart. 24-hour stores are awesome. There's a lot of new Artwork both on that page, and on the by definition one. Oh, right, and Andrey sent us another postcard, which you can find here. The previous one is below it.
Update by Chad.

Just another new Artwork, but it's one of Panu Vihavainen's hand drawn pictures, and it even has a Nemo in it. A Nemo!
Update by Slush.

Tonight. Only on The Vine. A story of someone so poor, so foolish, so gullible and someone still wearing nappies that pity will take over you. A story of someone who longs for riches, but has only a long snake. A story of someone who's pet would feature in more games than he would. Click here for the touching tale of Rubee, poor stereotypical Indian midget. Oh, and there's also a checklist of known Pokemon in Super Smash Bros. Melee that Chad hammered out in a raving fit. See?
Update by Aussie Ben.

Chad and I are about to embark on the scientific study of the century (or last century, since this century just began), and hopefully we'll get good enough results to find a way to tie it into the site. In the meantime, there's new material being broadcast at DKJV Radio. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready for my rod hunting.
Update by Slush.

Change is in the wind. Well, actually, it's the stench of decaying garbage thanks to the city's brilliant decision to set fire to the dump. Good one, Lee Brown. But rotting banana peels and barbie dolls or not, there's a new featured Artist in town! Cammiluna gets an honorary Previous Featured Artist Badge (which may be temporary, should she one day be featured again), giving way to Panu Vihvainaihhavianvenhein. Him. All this and more in Artwork. Oh, yes, and I put up a bunch of pointless Super Smash Bros. MP3 Music files. Quick, download them before our monthly bandwith cache refreshes!
Update by Chad.

Usually when we update a game section, it's for a video game that has yet to be released, or one that was just released. Not so today, as we add a section to the second game ever in our little play world. The Donkey Kong Land MP3 Music section is up, pallaroos. Don't bite us, DKL has wonderful music.
Update by Slush.

There's a reason we don't respond to your e-mails folks. Letters is back!
Update by Slush.

Well well well, looks like our little vacationing nymphode has sent us a very wrinkled postcard. Yes, that's right, it's Andrey Internationale: A Foreign Telegram. And as for updating, you can blow it out your ass, Russia Boy. Constantly ripping MP3s for the radio takes a lot out of you (especially when you're using trial software without a save function and have to set the recording to the "wave" channel). Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get to sleep soon if I hope to wake up in time to catch the first showing of Jurassic Park 3. Won't accept me into the premiere, will they...
Update by Chad.

If you haven't been paying attention, we've added a slew of new songs from many more games to DKJV Radio's library. Not only is it highly fun, it's highly illegal! That doesn't stop us though. We're just a poor little fan site....
Update by Slush.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, people of all ages, we have a special treat for you here tonight. If you look to the navigation bar on your left, you'll notice that there's a new face in town - we like to call him Dick Grayson. But, to everyone else, he's known as DKJV Radio.

We also have a biography for Histup. I prefer to call him my lord and supreme master, destroyer of cities, bringer of earthquakes, reaper of souls...but I'm babbling.
Update by Aussie Ben.

Far be it for anyone else to take it upon themselves to update when I tell them "I put up some new Artwork". Hoh no, that's apparently just not the way things work around here. Anyway, there's that, and there's a long overdue Banjo-Tooie Reader Review. Oh, and the recently circumsized FAQ is regrowing some of its maniacal foreskin to attempt another full site takeover. Picture it mentally. PICTURE IT. Update by Chad.

I made HappyBob stay up an hour extra for this.Aha! Success! I've finally created a working time machine (which was why I haven't had a chance to update all week). So, what do you do with a time machine, you ask? Well, aside from looking to see if it's worth getting up tomorrow, I've been changing all future laws so that I am supreme lor..uh... I mean, sending my updates forward so that I don't have to update for a while! What amazing possibilities!

Oh, dammit - this means I have to explain this to everyone twice. I hate time travel complications.

Annnyway, tonight, it's a big ol' update to the Character Biographies section. Whoo! Just what you were waiting for, right? Bah. So now you can hear the life stories of Captain Blubber, Chilli Billi and everyone's favourite pile of living waste, Chucky Poo. Now clear off while I put this time machine to decent use...
Update by Aussie Ben.

Since you're all probably a bit tired of Chad's "I hate my life", "The world is a turd-hole", "Let there be ritual arson" updates, I figured I'd handle it tonight. I'm also doing it to tell you lot that I'm off to Russia tomorrow, so you probably won't be hearing much from me till September. But don't pop out the champaigne just yet, because I'm still gonna send the occasional update to Chad with swift instructions on how to most accurately infect you with it. And I'll bring you all a trinket back too. Anyway, back to tonight's update. Ben's typed up three UNBELIEVABLY EXCITING character biographies with his teeth, but I'm not actually going to link to them cause that's no fun. You go find em yourself. Hahaha- just kidding. Funny, no? Sorry. It's late, as always. So here they are. We have Gobi the Sexy Camel, Lockup the Sexy Chest and last, and quite obviously least, Barry the...er...bat. When I first saw this one, I thought Ben had mis-spelled Berri and was going to wing him in the apples. No such luck, I'm afraid. Scone? Have it your way. Wish me a safe trip to the motherland. G'night, Percy!
Update by Andrey.

It's 7:06 AM. I'm still awake. Why? Because THE WORLD SUCKS. Anyhow, tonight you can learn what Jon Lovitz did when he found out they were cancelling The Critic for the third and final time - Jon Lovitz Explains Banjo-Kazooie!
Update by Chad.

We don't update very much these days, do we? Tchya. Well, rest assured, blahdy blah, empty promises, bloodey bloo, full swing soon. Whatever the hell kind of a "corporate" stance we're taking on whatever I'm talking about right now. I'm running on WAAAAY too little caffeine to be awake (about three cans, plus a little mocha java), so whatever. look issa nother Artwork update. What, again? Yeah, well, when I told everybody I would be the artwork guy by myself it was when we never got any good pictures... now EVERYBODY is sending in good pictures and making those little icon things for them all is DRIVING ME INSANE AAAHHHHHH. would you like to know hoe weirdm my schedule is okay, well i don't go to sleep for three days in a row and then sleep IN 20-FUCKING-HOUR-INTERVALS! THAT IS SOME CRAZY SHIT! so lesse. since the new artworkking duties driving me insane then this will be the last time that i describe the damn this room is hot. seriously, i don't think it's all the computer equipment. it can't make it THIS hot. we have air conditioning but the big box thing is upstairs. i hate texas. this place is a hell hole. it's too damn hot and i can't wait to get out of this shithole. Cammiluna has returned, and she sent me a bunch of new cool pictures, one of which had that freaky gwa-ahh-ahh! guy from ocarina of time and he got drunk off milk in majora and the sports part of the pictures scared the bejesus out of me. and then there was another one by person... who... oh yeah, that new one, Sarah. She sent me candy kong. at first when i looked at it I thought Candy Kong wasn't wearing a top and I was all "dude you can't do that as can't have porn on the site. we are not Furrotica". but it's cool because she was wearing a tanktop and i didn't notice the arm strap things. And there's one more thing, that booga dude got pissed at me because I posted "his" picture as chiphead's and he e-mailed me TWICE telling me to change it back to his. HELLO! ASS SPHINCTER! If you send me an e-mail that doesn't have a signature, but i recognized "chiphead" from the e-mail address, chances are going to be more probable that I assume the picture is by Chiphead, and NOT by his cock of an older brother who seems so intent on filling my already overflowing mailbox with demands of accuracy. Rock over London, rock on Chicago. Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids.
Update by Chad.

We updated with something or other that can be found here. We also updated the month, as it's now July. Rock on, my little vikings.
Update by Slush.

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