7/31/03
Sorry Klobber, but its DKVinian policy not to negotiate with assholes. Anyway, I finally got my grubby meat-hooks onto a copy of Toadstool Tour. What did I think of it? The answer awaits.
Update by Sparky Z


7/30/03
Forums are back up. Thanks to my good friend Diskmaster, they have - once again - been fixed. That's, what, the third time in the past two months alone? Apologies for the inconvenience, it was a completely random error, and I still don't know the exact cause of it. It was probably El Nino or something. In any case, they're back now. Also, expect a better update later today if the other people will get off their lazy asses and do something. Hah. Now they have to, otherwise I'll be proven right. I love being an asshole.
Update by Klobber


7/29/03
It figures. The day the boards develop an error is the day the Retreiver II goes on vacation. He's the only one that knows how to work the system, so they'll be down until Friday at the earliest. I'd tell you to blame him and run him out of town on a rail, but he managed to single-handedly rewrite the news-submission system in a new language. He did it all in a matter of hours, and a small matter at that, so I'd like to keep him around for a while. Tell you what, though. If you need something to tide you over you can listen to this.
Update by Sparky Z


7/28/03
Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour has been released, comrades! But I cannot care, as my new Microsoft console has me absorbed in dragoon-shooting combat acrobatics! I must defy the rules and spread the rule of Gates to this site! Enjoy a hearty Page of Xbox Propoganda! And do not eat that candy! It is hot lava!
Update by Behonkiss



7/27/03
Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour will be released on the 28th, so on the eve of its release we thought we'd pull out all the stops - and do a bunch of shit we should have done earlier! Formalities about being on time aside, we do have quite a bit to offer you today, and as I plan on playing MG:TT at the earliest opportunity, we'll have even more soon. Most likely tomorrow, since I'm going to do everything in my power to get the game by then. Of course, our local stores are all ubershit and never get in games on time, so I can't promise anything, but I'll get my grubby meathooks on it in the next few days.

Before you start wailing for me to shut the hell up and get on with it, I suppose I should shut the hell up and get on with it. So here's Screenshots Analysis, now updated with more screens. After that, read some Editor Impressions the other guys did. Then there's a movie analysis Sparky wrote. FINALLY. The last thing on the agenda for today, screenshots for MG:TT. None of you might give a damn about any of this, but if you're looking forward to the game you might as well take a look. I mean, there are worse ways to waste time, and you can go blind doing some of those things.
Update by Klobber


7/25/03
News. That link is broken and we're trying to figure out why. All the files are there, but they're doing things that no computer file should ever be able to do. Some are even displaying levels of rudimentary sentience.

You probably think I'm kidding.

We may have to replace the whole damn system, but until then, know that I spotted the MG:TT commercial while on a recent trip to Atlanta.
Update by Sparky Z


7/24/03
SEX!!!


Now that I've got your attention, have a course checklist for Toadstool Tour that Sean wrote, then polish it off with a known character checklist. You should be warned that the character checklist contains some spoilers as to the known secret characters in the game, so don't be a dumbass and read it if you don't want to know. I don't want angry letters. That being said, I personally think the secret characters suck (except for one), so you're not missing much anyway.

And because I'm feeling particularly blasphemous, have a generous double deuce sized portion of Artwork. Two from KJ and one from Enn. It's a wonderful life, aye 'tis.
Update by Klobber the Pirate Circus Midget


7/23/03
Didn't expect to see me anytime soon, did ya? Well, park your arses, ladies and gents, cause I've got some stuff for you, oh ho ho ho. First, we have a whopping 21 Toadstool Tour screenshots. That game's coming out the 28, just so you remember. Next, I've finally gotten off my arse and written something new for the site. It's a nice little feature full of bunny rabbits and leprechauns (and not of the murdering B-movie variety). I leave you with this message: Your mothers are cows.
Update by Sean


7/22/03
Chumbawumba, dumbledeedoo, here are Feature contributions from you, plus you'll have to read this review, like the Chumba-Wumbas gobbledy-goo!
Update by Behonkiss


7/21/03
Isn't July supposed to be National Pirate Month or something? Whether it is or not, it cannot be denied that pirates rule, and their presence in the DKU has been ominous from the start. With this in mind, take a look-see at this new feature I wrote which is probably far longer than it should be, but nevertheless provides some insight into the world of pirates. Quite possibly the most relevant feature ever created. After you get through doing that (or before you do that, if you hate reading my articles), there's some new Artwork from Enn. No pirates there, unfortunately, but good art all the same.

Finally, I've still been unable to track down a place to import the Super Donkey Kong 2 Japanese OST. I will find it...eventually...
Update by Klobber



7/20/03
Another Donkey Kong Land-related update, this one being that the MP3s are back, along with two new ones. Go easy on our bandwidth, though.
Update by Chiphead



7/18/03
UPDATE #2
Yes. It's me again. Klobber wrote another soundtrack analysis, this time of DKC. Plus, he got some swank scans from the Japanese DKC2 soundtrack, which can be found on that soundtrack overview page. He'd like me to say that he'll pay anyone a good amount of money (or any such reasonable alternative) for the information on how to get the Japanese soundtrack, or for the soundtrack itself. I myself have nothing for you; I'm just posting this to ensure you that I'm not dead. (despite your hopes) Cheers.
Update by Sean

UPDATE #1
Today we have nothing. Nope. No sir. I have no idea what you're talking about.
Update by Behonkiss



7/17/03
Hey, you know what I just realized? It's been a DK Vine tradition over the past couple of years to show that funny exploding Santa picture around Christmas. However, it occurred to me that DK Vine didn't exist last Christmas. With that in mind, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY! You've all been naughty, so all you're getting is a Donkey Kong Land review.
Update by Chiphead



7/16/03
I had planned to write two thick, juicy soundtrack overviews today, but some shit came up and so now you've been blessed by three Artwork submissions instead. Two from Sweet 'N Sour and one from KJ. I'm going to get back to work on those overviews now, so check back in a few hours and they should be up. Now have fun, stay clean, and watch out for candirus. I promise the overviews will make up for this rather crap update. Expect the UNEXPECTED. Bitch.
Update by Klobber and His Merry band of Crap Updates


7/15/03
UPDATE #2
'Bout freaking time I beat Golden Sun. Also 'bout freaking time I updated the DKC Book Adaptation. We also are giving you the first fan contributions to the Rebirth Feature. Wait, who's we? Pah, there I go again giving partial credit to nonexistant people. Don't blame me. Blame Juan and Cindy.
Update by Behonkiss

UPDATE #1
We'll have something else for you later tonight, but I'm just updating to tell you that the Drones List is back up. Sorta. Only the DKC drones are there for now. Since nobody was here to help us in our hour of need, I've been getting everything using the Wayback Machine. Its a bitch to convert every individual image back into jpgs, so they'll be going up in shifts, whenever I have some spare time. This will be the last time I'll tell you about it though, except maybe once when I've finished the damn thing. Lator Gator.
Update by Sparky Z


7/14/03
Well you see, ah, the Vine didn't update yesterday, er, ah, and...chaos. Yes, see, ah, nobody could have predicted that the Vine would, ahhh...suddenly just not update after going months and, I apologize for this. I really do.ah, months...just updating, every day. Ahhh..that's chaos. See, hold out your hand. I'm going to, ah, drip a little bit of this, er ah, C:L & U Speculation on it, and, ah, tiny vibrations...will make it drip in a seemingly random direction. This is the ah, essence, of er ah, chaos. Now I have to upload some, ah, viruses...viruses to the, ah, mothership. So, uh, rock on, ah, and always, er ah, race.
Update by Jeff Goldblum


7/12/03
Well, we've got some nice Mario Kart: Double Dash!! info for you tonight. Another movie has been added to the Movie Synopsis and the Items Checklist as been totally revamped. Not bad for something that was supposed to be done 6 hours ago.

On a somewhat unrelated note, the Drones List has gone missing. On the offchance that anybody has an archival copy, please contact me posthaste using the e-mail link below. Otherwise, we'll (Oh who am I kidding? I'll) have a hell of a time getting a new one up.
Update by Sparky Z


7/11/03
Well, look at that. Who in the past would've thought that looking at a date would make you think of a convenience store? Whatever. Here's an interesting little Feature that you can contribute to. Ha. Now I have an excuse to get email.
Update by Behonkiss


7/10/03
Avast, ye hearties. We have a nice and meaty update for you today. Kind of like a can of Chef Boyardee ravioli, only you don't need a can opener to look at the update. Yeah, even I admit how lame that was, but I'm too tired to think of anything that even remotely makes sense right now. Your brain gets a little strained when you stay up really late reading about birth defects and stuff like that. Which is what I spent a large portion of last night doing...anyway, the update.

First up we have something new. I made a pretty long overview of the DKC2 soundtrack. Next, we have some new screenshots for Mario Golf. Finally, new artwork from featured artist [KJ]Steroids over in the Artwork section.
Update by Klobber


7/09/03
Hey. I'm back to fight the evil. We're nearing the supposed release date for Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour, which means more update things. Here's our first Screenshots update in awhile, and an accompanying screenshot analysis, by me and Klobber. Hey, it could be worse. We could be doing Sparky's 30 biography a day plan.
Update by Sean


7/08/03
Hmmm. It seems that both me and Behonkiss promised you something for today. I guess we'll just have to update with both of them. Book and movie. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to read God Emperor of Dune and watch my new Scream DVD. Coincidence? Or perhaps something more sinister...
Update by Sparky Z


7/07/03
Nice to see you guys again. Got dragged to a godawful family place to celebrate the birth of the ludicrous imperial country I live in, and I can tell you that I was undoubtedly almost SUCKED DRY OF FLUIDS. I am seriously able to count about 10 mosquito bites on my left foot alone. I'm positive it's a new personal record, and it should make a nice excuse for reasons my family should never take me with them. Anyhow, now I'm back to doing what I'm good at. Meaning, of course, that I've put up an updated version of the Multi-thousand $ DKC Adaptation. Further bulletins as events happen. Meaning, of course, that I'll put more book-related stuff up tomorrow.
Update by Behonkiss


7/06/03
For a while, I've been under the mistaken impression the we had a Mario Kart: Double Dash!! Movie Analysis/Synopsis. When I realised that we didn't, I spend the afternoon looking for movies worthy of DKVinian perusal. I found a ridiculous number and spent the day downloading them. Part 1 is up now. Other installments will be making their way towards you in coming days. You have been warned.
Update by Sparky Z


7/05/03
As usual, it's up to me to rescue you all from yet more shitty bio updates. Honestly. Tonight I've prepared a feature that looks into that most horrible of abominations, the DKC TV show. I call it What the Fuck? and that's exactly what you'll say when you read it. In other news, Cammiluna has provided us with more Artwork, so go take a look-see at that to recover any brain cells you lose reading that feature.
Update by Klobber


7/04/03
Happy 4th of July from everyone at Donkey Kong's Jungle Vine. Here's hoping none of you lost too many limbs firing off various explosive devices. Fireworks are illegal where I live, but that doesn't seem to stop my neighbors from firing them off. By the same token, nothing can stop me from updating with three new Artworks. This time we've got some from Cammiluna, Fireimps87 (formerly KrazyKid87), and newcomer Enn.
Update by Klobber


7/03/03
What? There's a Millennium Star bio coming soon? Of course! Everybody loves bios. On second thought, maybe a new Letters would be better. Oh, and remember that Retriever II guy who saved the message boards? Well he's the moderator now. That doesn't make him an official staff member, but he was such a huge help in getting the forums back that we had to make him a mod.
Update by Chiphead


7/02/03
Hi diddily ho, neighboreenos. Today we have a new reader review and some new Artwork, this time coming from none other than Cammiluna. Letters are coming up very soon. Hint hint.
Update by Klobber


7/01/03
Ahh, Canada Day. The one day of the year where I can pretend that this pathetic country of mine has some actual value. Hum.

Klobber promised something very special today. If you had one ounce of brain tissue in your noggins, you probably would have figured out what it is by now, but if you're one of those special few who were born without intelligence, here's your ticket to retribution: The New And Improved DKVine Forums! Now with avatars, polls, and genuinely hack-free! Wowza!

Oh, and for the little people, we have completely different biographies of those wacky Ice Climber scum, Popo and Nana. Let it never be said that we don't treat you guys good.
Update by Sean


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