9/30/99
Welcome, welcome, and welcome once more. Before we return you to your irregularly scheduled updating, we have a spot of site information for you to slobber upon. Yesterday we entered the rat-race known as the 100 Greatest Gaming Sites, and five hours later we won a gold award, shining itself on the Main Page. And now the updates, because you love them so. The severely outdated DK64 Speculation Center has been uprooted and fertilized with new rumors. Then we galloped on over to the Donkey Kong Country section, and do you know what we found? The Story So Far had been hiding out for several weeks unnoticed, so now it's up for you to gaze upon. And you can go to bed safely, knowing that nasal ingestion of Jolly Ranchers causes frightening, dizzying headaches.
Update by Chad.



9/29/99
Well, then people. The recent surge of DK64 news has died down once again, so nothing new to report on. However, I dug up my DKL Review finally. So it's dusted off, repolished, and now on the shelf to look at. Like you care. Hey, at least we have something for you today, with no news and all. Blargh!
Update by Slush.



9/28/99
Huff... Huff.... Barely, just barely, I finished the html for today's massive update. As Slush and I will both tell you, it was difficult writing with nothing but the DK64 storyline on our minds. Giant island with mass destruction capabilities... wow. Oh, I'm sorry. I get like that when I let my mind wander. Anyway, we've packaged and shipped out a shiny Donkey Kong 64 Demo Booth section. You can imagine how difficult it was to write, having neither of us broken down and played it yet (and we're not going to! Hah! Nothing shall spoil it for us! BWA!!!). But anyway, after reading that lengthy thing-o, pop on over to the Banjo-Kazooie Character Biographies section for everyone's favorite spectacled mole's semi-lengthy story. And yesterday, while heading through our site in a fit of post-updating boredom, we discovered that we forgot to make a Game Info page for Donkey Kong Country. Well, there it is. Okay... I have to.... go... to... mass... destruction... island... Klaptrap... island... boom...
Update by Chad.



9/27/99
The time has come. The complete story has been revealed. Soak yourself in it. Donkey Kong 64. The Story. It's really that good, and no, this is not a dream....

Meanwhile, I finally got Mario Golf, and I love it! It's better than Zelda! Seriously, domn you!!!!!! You don't agree! DOMN YOU!!!!!!

Coming later this week, a very special special: "What Relations Are The Kongs To Each Other?"
Update by Slush.



9/26/99
Hey-o! Our third Palooza weekend is drawing to a close, but we're still alive and kicking! So, just to prove it, we made up a gigantic Donkey Kong Land Character Bios section for you. And that's all today's updates. Woah, I had you fooled, there, didn't I? No? Eh, go chew a windsock. Anyway, if you're not too mad at me, you should read my Donkey Kong Land Review. Slush wrote one during the summer, but it was swallowed up by Ol' Man C:/. He would have found it, but he was too busy buying Mario Golf and not opening the box. So expect his review in a day or so. That's all. I'm off to watch the season premieres of Futurama and Simpsons, like you should be. Thank you, now I can die happily. (What?---Chad's Subconscious)
Update by Chad.



9/25/99
Well well well. Our little Game Boy fun fest continues today with more Donkey Kong Land jungle goodies for 'ya! There is the Donkey Kong Land Story So Far, and the Donkey Kong Land General Game Info. It's Donkey Kong Land! Like you've never seen it before! But that's probably a lie.
Update by Slush.



9/24/99
Cor! It's the weekend! And you all know what that means.... It's time for our third Giant Palooza Special, and going in order of releasal, we've got the Donkey Kong Land Section flaunting itself, with Screenshots to keep it company. So go on, be whisked away into the magical world of crappy LCD screens and monotonous music! Wahay! (Okay, that's the second Banjo quote. I'll stop now.)
Update by Chad.



9/23/99
Summer is dead......because today is the first day of Autumn. Sigh.....but that just means DK64 is less than two months away now! So we added a new promo pic of the DK64/N64 bundle in the Marketing Campaign section (the bundle promo pic includes a new render of Donkey!). And for some news, Nintendo has announced that Mario Party 2 (featuring Donkey of course) will "probably" come out in the USA and elsewhere. Grrrr....if they don't, I'll shove the entire country of Japan up NOA's! That's the truth.
Update by Slush.



9/22/99
Shlupty-doo to you too! We have faced adversity and biting comments from "other" DK sites to bring you an update that's so big, if it were a dinosaur, it would be called a... Bigasaurus. Well, first we've finished patching those last few leaks in the Banjo-Kazooie Biography Section section with two repetetive biographies. The FAQ has gotten a taste of power, and it is devouring all. Including two new idiotic questions. And just yesterday, I went to Wal-Mart to avoid Rosie O' Donnel and to play Jet Force Gemini. While there, I found a neato promotional sheet of paper that's rearing its ugly head in the DK64 Merchandising Campaign section. But wait! Here's a spot of news for 'ye! It seems that Donkey Kong 64 will be making its way to the silver screen! Starting in October, we (we, being USA citizens) will be able to see commercials for Donkey Kong 64... along with real movie previews! In REAL THEATERS!!! But do not go to see the P---mon Movie just to see the DK64 commercial. I'm sure it'll also be on Toy Story 2, such and such.
Update by Chad.



9/21/99
Howdy doo. This is Peter McCallister.....THE FATHER. Oh god. Why act out such a terrible movie? Because good movies are no fun to act out? Exactly! Today we fixed the gaping hole in the Banjo-Kazooie Character Bios, by a total of four patches. And now for some news, because you may or may not hate it. As of not until recently, it was uncertain if the upcoming Jet Force Gemini for the N64 was going to include a secret Donkey Kong Universe character or not. Rare promised a "major Rare star" would be in it. And now it's revealed. That character is Mr. Pants, the hillarious nude British thing from www.rareware.com. He is not a DKU character, that much we know. So JFG is no DK game. Unless there is another secret in it.....that IS a DK character......wait and see.....wait and pee.....wait and surinate.....wait and urinate.
Update by Slush.



9/20/99
Well, then. I have pried myself from the evil temptation known as Conker's Pocket Tales to write this update, so you'd better like it! We've only got one boiling-hot update for you, the smacked up DK64 Bad Guys Checklist . But wait! We're not through yet! There are a few topics we need to address that frankly, have been bugging us. In the Candy Kong Picture, behind Candy there is a Coke Machine that says "KOKO KOLA". I have no idea why, but people keep insisting that is says "KOKO KONG", suggesting a new character in place of Candy. But people, honestly....Nintendo themselves said, and I quote, "Also, a new character named Candy Kong gives each Kong a musical intstrument which is used to activate switches and take out enemies." Now, while they are morons, thinking that Candy Kong is new, let's look at the logic: Candy gives out music this time. The picture shows her with music. Nintendo quote + music = Candy. Plus, she has a DK love rug! THE LOVE RUG!!!
Update by Chad.



9/19/99
Donkey Kong Country mania poolaza focus fajita comes to a close today, but take this ugly slab of DKC Reviews as an apology. Oh, and Chad finally got Conker's Pocket Tales, and this is what he thinks about it:

Chad: "Sorry, I was cooking noodles.....It's great!"

There you have it!!!
Update by Slush.



9/18/99
Wahay! We keep sliding out our Donkey Kong Country weekend palooza with a few more mentionable updates. The DKC Character Bios section is exploding with the remaining four animal buddies poking their snouts and beaks in for a chance at biographical stardom. So, once you're done reading those, you should check out the Big Ol' DK Character List (In English) for no reason, except that all the bios can be accessed from that page. And keeping in the tradition of gigantic updetes when there are no public education facilities to hinder them, we give you a smackey feature, entitled How Donkey Kong Country Changed the Videogame Industry. So you should remain relatively soaked with Jungle Vine originals today, and if you're not, then more power to you. Or something.
Update by Chad.



9/17/99
Kick up your mudflaps, wipe off your eyebrows, and buckle yourself down, because we are entering our second "Palooza" weekend! This weekend's palooza feature is none other than the game that started it all....Donkey Kong Country. The Donkey Kong Country Section is finally up, with Screenshots and Character Bios in tow (Donkey and sweetheart Candy have moved in to the bios, along with Rambi for no good reason). Expect the DKC fun to slam your face in with a stop sign all weekend long. And we are proud to annouce that a new member has been smeared all over the Webmasters page. Well, actually he's not new, but we forgot to add him until today, so back off. Now for a major update on news we reported on yesterday. Chad, after hours of poking and prodding, has figured out the full Pirate Bloke's name! What is it? None other than CAPTAIN BLACKEYE! What game will it be in? Could it be Twelve Tales: Conker 64? A surprise game (c'mon Tiptup 64!)? Or something else? Stay tuned! Now for the legal crap, because you love to hear it. If you report on the Pirate Bloke's name, please make sure to credit Donkey Kong's Jungle Vine for the info. Our Friend will be happy that way.
Update by Slush.



9/16/99
Yahoo! We've got a great load of binary data for you today! Well, first, you should finish reading the TimeVine from yesterday, because no human or humanoid alien could finish reading that in one day. Okay, you done? Great. So, we've decided to give you a nice, beef-filled Character Biography section for Banjo-Kazooie. These huge energetic biographical pages will be supplied for every game, when we get around to it (slow news days). And the FAQ keeps on expanding with a numero trece. What number is that? Hah! Now you have to go look to find out, unless you speak Spanish, of course. Oh yeah, and Donkey Kong 64 has been confirmed of having a minimum game length of 85 hours. Yes, that means that the game will take a full 3.542 days to complete, if you know exactly what you're doing. And there's a big... erm.. thing in the news! Rare has released the name of the Pirate Bloke from the pictures in Banjo-Kazooie! Well, not entirely. They left out a few letters. His supposed name is "*a**a*n B*a**e*e". Obviously, the first word is "Captain", but the second has us stumped. Well, I'm done being stupid. Goodnight.
Update by Chad.



9/15/99
I hope everyone on the East Coast of the U.S. of A is ready for Hurricane Floyd. Remember your batteries, matches, flashlights, sausages, and a PC so you can stay up with all the new DK64 news! Too bad there is no real news today. But that didn't stop a greasy update from slopping your way! We have two things to whack to 'yall folks out there. We have a new fan Artwork piece, and we also have something new for Donkey Kong sites.....The Donkey Kong Universe TimeVine (the first half of it anyway...the second half got lost in traffic and hasn't arrived yet). The TimeVine is the ultimate source to Donkey Kong Universe continuity. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to find out where that odor is coming from....oh, that's right, it's me! Ugh....
Update by Slush.



9/14/99
Well, today has been a fairly mentionable day in our site's long, drawn out history. We've gotten our first award, which is debuting under the navigation bar at the Home Page. The FAQ has gotten an ego boost, by having two new questions join the ranks. And if that weren't enough, we've finally gotten around to updating the Big Ol' DK Character List (In English) with a few new buddies and baddies from Conker's Pocket Tales, and the entire Mario Golf gang. Not to mention Nintendo has inked up a deal with Dr Pepper for a DK64 promotional thing-o that's seeped and dripped down into the DK64 Marketing Campaign Section. So bask in the unbridled glory of today's polyunsaturated update, and laugh at how a member of the Links page who shall remain unmentioned (coughNDK64cough)unwittingly gave our site free promotion. Hah! Hahaha! Ha.
Update by Chad.



9/13/99
Wow, yesterday was an incredible news day. Too bad today isn't. But, in spite of the sluggish newsitivity, Slush wrote up his final Review for Diddy Kong Racing. You would have had it last night, but Slush's unreliable ISP (coughAOLcough) prevented him from signing on to deliver. So, read our belated update, and hopefully tomorrow will bring with it some new details on DK64, or something along those lines. Farewell for today, parasites. No, wait! I didn't mean it! Come back!
Update by Chad.



9/12/99
As the Diddy Kong racing mania closes in on the finish line, we've taken a pit stop by slapping a few new pictures up on the Screenshots page. So, enough Diddy Kong Racing. Today has basically been the biggest day we've seen so far for Donkey Kong 64. Not only have we recieved renders of all the new Kongs (which are making their debut at the Good Guys Checklist), not only did we get new information about Donkey Kong 64's packaging and shipment (which helped us write the DK64 Marketing Campaign Section), not only was my theory about collecting Golden Bananas correct, but we are the first fan-based site on the Internet to post the entire Donkey Kong 64 story in the General Game Info section! Yes, that's right! We actually know what's going to happen in the game. Do the other sites? Erm... NOPE! I thought not. Our dedication to our readers is unabridged, and it shows with the speed in which we report on news. So what, if it's Sunday. We won't take a day off, just for you. So, once you read the story, tell us what you think. Heck, we may even post your thoughts in the Letters section. So enjoy the blast of Donkey Kong 64 news, because it's all going uphill from here! Oh, you think we're crazy? Well, what can we say? Out here, our world is beer.
Update by Chad.



9/11/99
The DKR mania continues, with the General Game Info that you probably already know and Chad posts his thoughts in the DKR Reviews. Not to mention, the DKR Story So Far gets slashed with a legible phrasing. But even as the happy lands of Dino Domain and Sherbert Island rock thy world this weekend, there is some major DK64 news going down that we must report on. First of all, the original "crappyth" Donkey Kong arcade game will be redone in DK64 as an essential part of the game. You see, in each level or world there is a Donkey Kong arcade machine (probably erected by Cranky in honor of himself) that you can play. If you beat four levels of the arcade game, you'll get a banana. While one banana may not sound like a big deal, it fits in with Chad's theory that there are "golden bananas" in DK64 that are one of the main treasures to collect (golden bananas were introduced slyly in Mario Party). So, that sounds pretty nifty, eh? There's more. Donkey Kong 64 will be a yellow DKL style cartridge....but don't get all excited yet. It seems it will only be a yellow cartridge if you buy the Nintendo 64 package with DK64 included in it. My question? Why, why, why Nintendo? Why not also have a yellow cartridge for the ones that reserve the game? That's not being fair. Hopefully they'll change their minds before the 22nd of November. Well then. Enjoy the DKR updates.
Update by Slush.



9/10/99
Congratulations.....it's Friday!!!! So pull up your window, place those speakers in it, and have a rockin' college-type jam! Or if you're more inclined to run around with the DK crew, put a computer in your window with Jungle Vine on the monitor, and get ready for our first ever "Weekend Game Spotlight!" This weekend we will be focusing on (sadly) one of the most underrated games in the DK Universe, Diddy Kong Racing. An entire weekend of DKR related updates and fun (that's right, FUN!!!!!) await. Hopefully you'll rediscover this incredible game in the process, and have a blast in the meantime. So rev up your engines, get ready for T.T. to give the signal, and go to our brand new Diddy Kong Racing Section, with Screenshots coming out of the exhaust pipe. And we'll have much more DKR "stuff" coming up in this incredible thing called "weekend."
Update by Slush.



9/9/99
Now, before you go off on a preaching rampage about how today's date contains only one digit, sit down for a second. Catch your breath. Good. Now, there is no such thing as the "Y2K Virus", nor is there today's alleged "Pre-Y2K virus". If there was, do you think you would be reading this? Nope. So, on the big metaphorical serving platter today, we're expanding upon the Banjo-Kazooie section with two lovely Reviews! So go on, and read what we have to say about a bear with a bird uncomfortably crammed into his backpack. Go on, shuffle off.
Update by Chad.



9/8/99
With legs that feel like the wobbly substance Bill Cosby promotes (after running a mile or more in the hot sun), I slop this up onto the updates page. Chad and I decided it was finally time to speak our mind on the TRUE game of the century....Donkey Kong 64. So check out the new Editor Impressions location in the DK64 section. In other news (if you didn't know already), Toys 'R Us's across America of the United States are now putting up DK64 test stations. However, we actually strongly recommend that you wait for when the game actually comes out. November 22nd will be all the more special if it's the first time you ever played DK64. This game has been nearly five years in the making, and a game that great only comes along once in a while. For DK Universe "hardcore" fans, it will be one of the greatest moments in your life to unwrap that plastic from the DK64 box that late November day.......oh my, I'm over stimulated. I have to go now before I start urinating in glee.........too late........
Update by Slush.



9/7/99
What a lovely long weekend that was. Well, back to work. Oh, wait. We never took a break. Continuing work, then... So, with the overbearing fifth and sixth of a dozen e-mails pouring in, we've decided to make a Game Info page for both Donkey Kong 64 and Banjo-Kazooie. And just to show you we're not throwing in the towel too soon, here's a Story So Far for Banjo-Kazooie. And, if that weren't enough, we have a very special feature for you. The Vine went "out" on the "street" to get you a sparkling, fresh Interview. Our unwitting subject was Ron the Gamer, to show all of those other sites out there that they're not the only ones who can supposedly interview people. And now my personal thoughts. I had a tough time waking up this morning, because the long weekend threw off my biological clock. Those coffee commercials are wrong. The best part of waking up is hitting the snooze button and going back to sleep. I could give a flip whether there's Folgers in my cup... unless I'm playing baseball.
Update by Chad.



9/6/99
Merry Labor Day to all you pregnant women out there. Wha? Well then what is Labor Day? OH! Merry Labor Day to all you blue collar slobs out there! We have a special gift for you today......the Twelve Tales: Conker 64 Section! With Screenshots AND general General Game Info to boot! Or to shoe! I'll leave now.
Update by Slush.



9/5/99
Huff... huff... Big updates sure take a lot out of 'ya. Well, let's see what we've mashed out and delivered in bite-sized cubes for you today, then. We created a Banjo-Kazooie Section just so we could go on a picture-taking rampage for the B-K Screenshots. We then crammed three very nifty and neato pictures into the DK 64 Screenshots page. Oh, yes. A bit of news for you. Certain stores have now started reserving Donkey Kong 64! I reserved mine March 30, but in Slush's great home state of [the state Slush lives in- Slush], you couldn't get it until today. So to celebrate, Slush wrote up a little ditty for the Features Page appropriately titled "My DK64 Reservation Experience". Ahh, yes. and our nice little Artwork Page has four new prospect applicants. But be warned: Ronny H. is a disturbed individual. The faint of heart should not view the pictures. Now I'll wait while all of you ignore my advise and look at the pics.

Oh, yes, and tomorrow is a national holiday. But instead of slacking off like the government would like us to, we'll still bring you a moderately sized update. Yes, an update on Labor Day for you loyal websurfers of America. Dedicated? Crazy? Unpatriotic? Don't ever doubt it.
Update by Chad.



9/4/99
Shmackier then a bare baby's hiney, we have these updates. Not one update, not two updates, not three updates, not four updates, five updates for YOU! So here we go. We have the follow up to the DK 64 Good Guy Checklist of yesteryear, the DK 64 Bad Guy Checklist! We then added the entire follow up to the entire DK 64 Checklist section, the DK 64 Speculation Center! Not happy with just two large updates, we slashed the DK 64 Screenshots section with some all new buzz. Then we stopped by the FAQ and juiced that puppy up by two notches, and drove on by the Big Ol' DK Character List (In English) and threw in five new citizens. You should discover many things about Donkey Kong and his universe that you didn't know today, so stop and enjoy.
Update by Slush.



9/3/99
Getting bored of extremely outdated news? Good! Because tonight, you'll get two things that can't be found anywhere else. We've added a great heaping load of content to the FAQs, as well as a new section I like to call the DK 64 Checklist. It features things in the game that we have conclusive proof of (usually with screenshots). But what's so special about this? Well, our site is the first on the Internet to report that Candy Kong is indeed included in Donkey Kong 64. We even have a picture! Go on, look! You and I both know how much you're itching to click on that golden link. And on a personal note, the Poison Ivy had all but appeared to clear up, but then the bumps came out to play again! This string of events shall forever be known as the "Great PI Scandal of 1999". There, now I feel important and fuzzy inside.
Update by Chad.



9/1/99
Wow. Actually adding meat to the skeletal structure of the Vine is harder than you might think. So, we took a day from updating to focus on our hectic lifestyles of Beef Jerky and couch cushions. Getting bored after approximately 42.35 seconds, we ran back to our computers to type. And the result of that typing is a shiny DK 64 Section, consequently with Screenshots in tow. So, pray that you have a faster server than I do, because mine just about died uploading these pics.
Update by Chad.



8/30/99
Hey! It's our first update that doesn't involve fixing broking links! Actually....that's kind of depressing if you think about it....the fun part about working on the site was all the broken links....and now they're gone....well, I don't believe I want to work on a site that promotes "properly working links" (most sites on the internet don't), but since I've commited myself to the site, I have no choice. So take our first "meat" offering.... The Big 'Ol DK Universe Character List (In English)! You've seen some other lists out there for DK characters, but have you ever seen Flapper on them? Christine? I thought not. So consume this update, and look out for more substantial bull coming your way soon (coming your way only if you are currently on Jungle Vine...since it can't very well come your way in the shower or on the can).
Update by Slush.



8/29/99
They scoffed at us. They said it couldn't be done. But they're wrong. I give you, the fully functional DONKEY KONG'S JUNGLE VINE! That's right! We've got an entire site with not one broken link! Please excuse me, while I pack my bags for E3.

Wow, that was fun. Anyway, to make our site complete, we have the last three sections up for grabs. First on the chopping block is a Links Page for those of you with extremely short attention spans. Our last two warm and fuzzy updates are pages about us. For you people who like to get your information in one place, those would be Webmasters and Contact Us. So, we're now officially a website. We have no actual information yet, but all the sections are up. Expect the meat of the site to appear in the coming days. I bid you goodnight. Update by Chad.



8/28/99
Ayyyy, this is Slush cutting in. Chad's off drinking calamine lotion and passing out, so I'll be doing the update today. We finally whupped up the F.A.Q. and since we've already started recieving fan art without giving the proper directions to do so, we bring 'ye the Artwork Page in it's "glory". Bring an extra pair of pants, to be safe.
Update by Slush.



8/27/99
Zippedy Doo Dah. I hope you're having a better time than I am with this Poison Ivy. So, to make you feel better than me, here's a Letters Page! Go on, write! Don't be shy!
Update by Chad.



8/26/99
Give me a break. I'm literally covered in Poison Ivy, my right eye is swelled shut, and I'm miserable. Yet, I hark forth to give you a nice Features Page to bring the number of broken links down to lucky 7. Well, I'm off to take a bath in Calamine Lotion. Thank you, and goodnight.
Update by Chad.



8/23/99
Wow. So we're back one day later to fix the broken links one at a time. So why don't you try a Games Page on for size. I think you'll find it fits quite snugly.
Update by Chad.



8/22/99
Well, it's exactly three months until the day that all DK fans let out one giant pants-wetting of excitement. And to commemorate this lovely date, we have decided to get our "rears in gear" and raise the site to a functional level. So take a glance around. Each page contains a sample of our twisted senses of humor. We should know, we wrote it in the page template.

By this point, you're probably wondering who "we" are. Well, here at Donkey Kong's Jungle Vine, there are two main keyboard tappers to be recognized. Those are, in no particular order (except alphabetical) Chad and Slush. We are utterly and completely warped by the Donkey Kong universe, and are therefore prime canidates for your reading pleasure. Expect crazily irregular updates and funny picture captions, as well as much, much more! So sit back and enjoy, but watch out for the MOONMAN. He bites.